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Staying mellow when you can't get breaks? - Page 2

post #21 of 23
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Originally Posted by Qalliope View Post

What are other techniques/habits you have to stay mellow?


Lowering my expectations. Of myself, of them, of the people around me. Life is manageable when I acknowledge that I don't have to bake bread, or do laundry, or get a building project finished or read aloud for 4 straight hours if I am not feeling up to those challenges. And my kids don't absolutely have to clean their room right this minute, or agree on a book or movie the first time, or have lunch before 3 in the afternoon if that's not working for them today. I'm pretty sure we'll survive if dh forgets to bring milk home, or the neighborhood cyclists ride right through my lawn, or the trash man skips my house.  These things are all fixable or temporary.  But I forget sometimes, and that's when I start to feel frantic. If I try to reduce or eliminate the pressures that make me crave breaks in the first place, it makes it easier to take care of an occasional need for solitude or rest.

Oh, definitely!

post #22 of 23

Homeschooling my crew makes for few breaks, but I am sitting here with 4 kids of my own and 2 more and I am blissfully alone in my space.  So, while I don't get 'breaks', I do get a lot of mental quiet time in my own head.  


We homeschool in the morning, eat lunch, do one more homeschooling thing and then the afternoon is for play time, reading, art, swimming, and every other thing they like to do.  I am NOT responsible for entertaining them all afternoon.



I am clear with my kids -- they have toys and books and mountains of Legos and neighborhood friends and a backyard and play-doh and more. I take them to the library, we constantly have new books.   If they can't entertain themselves for a couple of hours, then I have done something wrong.  


And while they play, I get my downtime.  I know it is not a vacation really, but it is quiet time to myself.  I putter about, doing my own thing and they whirlwind around gathering scissors and tape and making art and doing whatever it is that they like to do.  


And this works almost perfectly.  My son is the outlier in my family and at 8 he still comes to me with 'I'm bored' and 'there's nothing to do'.  He is getting better at self-motivating, but it is taking time with him.  


For the most part,  I feel like I can keep myself together.  There are rough patches of course and this 100+ degree heat wave is testing everyone's limits, but I am mostly mellow and calm.  

post #23 of 23

I have a 5yo, 3yo and 1 yo and a husband that seems to be gone almost as much as hes home..


I actually schedule "me time" throughout the day.. Morning times I study German while the children play (I sit in their playroom or they bring a basket of toys out to the living room), half way through each day we have quiet time for 30-60 minutes depending on the day (I sew or practice piano, the girls look at books in their room and the youngest naps) and close to night time clean up I have a 30 minute block of relax time (generally I read or play on the computer).

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