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5 yo doesn't know how to eat independently -- help needed - Page 2

post #21 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

I lost my earlier post. It sounds like she doesn't have the organization skills to do it.

 

I was worried about this when DS started preschool but he adapted quickly. Of course, that was far more sheltered than K with a strict food policy and an adult at every table.

 

I'd suggest eating a meal out of the house each day, perhaps lunch at the park. Pack all of the compentents for a healthy lunch plus a snack for each of you and make her responsible for it. You can help with things like opening a water bottle but that is it. If she doesn't eat, she can be hungry. Pack things that are likely to appeal to her and that don't take a super long time to eat. Pack small portions that aren't scary.  If she gets hungry, she can go to her lunch/snack bucket and eat something from it.

 

Neither of my kids really like sandwhiches so those are rarely packed. DS likes what he refers to as a "real lunch" which is packed in a thermos.

 

So, repetition will help. Familiarity with implements will help. Also, eating from the thermos linked is actually easier than a bowl. The high sides help with control.

 

Lunches from the last week that I can recall:

 

Lamb burger lunch- lamb burger with grilled zuccini, tomato, cherry tomatoes, and half of a lamb burger dressed with a little olive oil and not spicy harissa

cut up cucumbers

cherries with the pits and stems removed

water

 

whole wheat pasta with meat and vegetable rich marinara

cheese (not very much protein in the pasta dish)

blueberries

pretzels

water

 

hummus and pita

carrots

applesauce

strawberries

water

 

fried brown rice

cheese

dried cherries

pineapple

water

 

chili mac (whole wheat elbows with a very mild. tomaty-chili with meat and beans)

dried seaweed

apple slices

water

 

cheese tortelleni with tomato sauce

cucumber salad

cherries

water

 

leftover homemade pizza, wrapped in foil

trail mix

raspberries

water

 

small empenada from an Argentine place, wrapped in foil

cherry tomatoes

pineapple

water

 

We use these:

 

Lunch bag, easy to open with a single zipper http://www.amazon.com/Crocodile-Creek-Pocket-Lunchbox-Butterfly/dp/B00262DCVY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1338839911&sr=8-2

 

Sigg Water bottle with a reasonably easy to open top

 

Great size for kids http://www.amazon.com/Thermos-Foogo-Leak-Proof-Stainless-10-Ounce/dp/B000O3GCFU/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1338839954&sr=1-1

 

2 4 oz small containers for fruit, crackers, or goodies like dried cherries. Great to use the same size every day because it helps with portion control http://www.amazon.com/GladWare-Mini-Round-8-ct/dp/B0030HTZTM/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1338840053&sr=1-1

 

utensils, plus a napkin that is really a baby washcloth

 

Occasionally use a reusable snack bag for bulky items or sandwiches

Wow! Thanks for this detailed post. We are vegetarians so that does make it harder and prefer a vegan diet but aren't extra strict. We converted last year and we are v. happy overall with the decision. However, she is allowed the v. unhealthy chicken nuggets, pizzas and cake at birthday parties. So, here is another problem I forgot to mention. Since she was 6 months, almost every meal of hers had egg, chicken, beef or it was a ham sandwich or turkey sandwich. Now, that we have turned our diet around she is finding it hard to adjust. Most of the veggies you mention, she won't eat. If she does, it is because we are threatening to take away a toy or some other consequence. Most fruits are fine but sometimes we have problems with fruits too. Has tried humus v. reluctantly when we were eating it. But, when we offered it to her next time she wouldn't eat it. She likes slices of cheese but we don't want to give that to her because that's all she'll eat sometimes. Cheese sandwich for lunch and quinoa pasta with cheese for dinner. She will eat beans and rice but when it is fed. She doesn't love brown rice or the beans so she will procrastinate. When she had meat she would eat cooked carrots and beet or zucchini on the side. Lately, she's been causing trouble with carrots too. Stopped zucchini at age 2. Seemed like she wanted to throw it up. If we get a veggie sandwich from outside she usually likes it but will take forever to eat it if she has to feed herself. She doesn't like the homemade one because of the whole grain bread. The partly white flour bread is more welcomed.

 

So to sum it up: 1. Doesn't like healthy options. 2. Doesn't like many textures 3. Doesn't like many veggies 4. Complains of getting tired holding a sandwich for a long time in her hand or whatever other food. 5. If left to feed herself will say I am full after a few bites.

post #22 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post

My ds would go crazy, too, if he needed to eat. And he wasn't good at recognizing he was hungry, either. If he got too hungry, it was better to give him whatever junky thing he was asking for and follow it up with something more nutritious because if he was too hungry, he'd just refuse to eat anything else. If I could get him to eat before he was too hungry, he was more reasonable. The good news is he grew out of this. But it was bad at 4 and 5. School will probably work out fine, though. They usually have snack times and my ds would sit and eat when the other kids were eating. It was mostly just hard getting him to eat breakfast beforehand.

Thanks. Yes, we have the exact same issue. So, keeping my fingers crossed.

post #23 of 26

we have the same issue with dd - age 4. She can and will self-feed certain items, finger foods and scoop soups, etc. but practically each bite has to be encouraged. We usually read to her to keep her engaged (a "if you're eating then I'm reading") scenario. We're also veggie. There's a great recipe I got from Super Baby Food cookbook when she was a baby for "super porridge" - a mix of whole grains and legumes that are ground and then cooked like oatmeal. She loves it with a sprinkle of cheese on top and will eat it herself. I can always count on this for a meal. You can also puree steamed veggies and mix in - this is fabulous b/c it's a complete meal in one bowl. When she went to school her lunch would come back untouched. It's very frustrating. I want her to eat but who has over an hour for each meal? Another thing that has worked for us (might help with your "boring" factor) is to make a "dinner tray" out of a muffin tin. I put fruit in a few of the spots, veggies in another, a grain/protein in other, a dip or two - she LOVES it.

post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendlynnn View Post

we have the same issue with dd - age 4. She can and will self-feed certain items, finger foods and scoop soups, etc. but practically each bite has to be encouraged. We usually read to her to keep her engaged (a "if you're eating then I'm reading") scenario. We're also veggie. There's a great recipe I got from Super Baby Food cookbook when she was a baby for "super porridge" - a mix of whole grains and legumes that are ground and then cooked like oatmeal. She loves it with a sprinkle of cheese on top and will eat it herself. I can always count on this for a meal. You can also puree steamed veggies and mix in - this is fabulous b/c it's a complete meal in one bowl. When she went to school her lunch would come back untouched. It's very frustrating. I want her to eat but who has over an hour for each meal? Another thing that has worked for us (might help with your "boring" factor) is to make a "dinner tray" out of a muffin tin. I put fruit in a few of the spots, veggies in another, a grain/protein in other, a dip or two - she LOVES it.

Is the super porridge sweet or savory?

 

I mean the only way to teach her at this age, since I didn't teach her earlier is to just leave her to it. If she eats, she eats, if she doesn't then she will have to handle her hunger. It's not that she doesn't cause trouble when we are feeding her. She complains at every, single meal and she probably has from the time she has been able to voice her complaints. Because of her fussiness I continued feeding her and here we are.

post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neera View Post

Wow! Thanks for this detailed post. We are vegetarians so that does make it harder and prefer a vegan diet but aren't extra strict. We converted last year and we are v. happy overall with the decision. However, she is allowed the v. unhealthy chicken nuggets, pizzas and cake at birthday parties. So, here is another problem I forgot to mention. Since she was 6 months, almost every meal of hers had egg, chicken, beef or it was a ham sandwich or turkey sandwich. Now, that we have turned our diet around she is finding it hard to adjust. Most of the veggies you mention, she won't eat. If she does, it is because we are threatening to take away a toy or some other consequence. Most fruits are fine but sometimes we have problems with fruits too. Has tried humus v. reluctantly when we were eating it. But, when we offered it to her next time she wouldn't eat it. She likes slices of cheese but we don't want to give that to her because that's all she'll eat sometimes. Cheese sandwich for lunch and quinoa pasta with cheese for dinner. She will eat beans and rice but when it is fed. She doesn't love brown rice or the beans so she will procrastinate. When she had meat she would eat cooked carrots and beet or zucchini on the side. Lately, she's been causing trouble with carrots too. Stopped zucchini at age 2. Seemed like she wanted to throw it up. If we get a veggie sandwich from outside she usually likes it but will take forever to eat it if she has to feed herself. She doesn't like the homemade one because of the whole grain bread. The partly white flour bread is more welcomed.

 

So to sum it up: 1. Doesn't like healthy options. 2. Doesn't like many textures 3. Doesn't like many veggies 4. Complains of getting tired holding a sandwich for a long time in her hand or whatever other food. 5. If left to feed herself will say I am full after a few bites.

I made a mistake in the first post, the "lamb burger lunch" is more correctly called quinoa lunch because the other things are just flavoring.

 

Have you considered using some meat analongs to help her transition? I'd probably pick pastured meat over processed soy but I understand why people don't. But there is no way my kid is eating processed chicken nuggets anywhere. Luckily, the parties events we go to are pretty healthy or at least "in public." Have you considered using a more "white" bread, purchased or made, if that helps her eat it.

 

I really think you have to make her eating her responsibility. (And trust me, my five year old would happily be spoon fed and I was fine with giving "bites" far, far longer than most people.) Either do the packed lunch or a bento type tray with small portions of a variety of things and then ...let...it...go. Be flexible about where the eating occurs. I am fine with a "walking around muffin" etc.

 

I don't think non-related consequences (taking away a toy for not eating food) are going to help. Perhaps a treat would, i.e. we will read this favorite story during lunch or there are some stickers to play with after a nice meal.

post #26 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

I made a mistake in the first post, the "lamb burger lunch" is more correctly called quinoa lunch because the other things are just flavoring.

 

Have you considered using some meat analongs to help her transition? I'd probably pick pastured meat over processed soy but I understand why people don't. But there is no way my kid is eating processed chicken nuggets anywhere. Luckily, the parties events we go to are pretty healthy or at least "in public." Have you considered using a more "white" bread, purchased or made, if that helps her eat it.

 

I really think you have to make her eating her responsibility. (And trust me, my five year old would happily be spoon fed and I was fine with giving "bites" far, far longer than most people.) Either do the packed lunch or a bento type tray with small portions of a variety of things and then ...let...it...go. Be flexible about where the eating occurs. I am fine with a "walking around muffin" etc.

 

I don't think non-related consequences (taking away a toy for not eating food) are going to help. Perhaps a treat would, i.e. we will read this favorite story during lunch or there are some stickers to play with after a nice meal.

We don't do soy either and don't want to go back to meat. She was dropped off at a party where they served chicken nuggets and she had them. Normally, or under our supervision, no she wouldn't. For protein we have been trying beans and lentil. I am not sure I shud give her white bread but I am kind of unsure on the unhealthy/healthy food thing; if i gave her white bread to help her along then I'd be constantly worrying that I am making her get in the habit of it. Thanks, I am going to try the treat idea.

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