The "I worked hard" narrative « Back to Group Discussions

[Partaria]

I saw a post on facebook today from the Feminist Breeder. It said that her cousin had just had a baby, and she wrote "she worked hard for a natural birth and she got it!"

I'm probably picking too much. But you know, I worked hard for that too. Damn hard. For nine months, then three days of labor. 

But I didn't get one.

Did I not work hard enough? Is hard work all it really takes? I just get so frustrated with this. It's just like the Horatio Alger myth. If you work hard enough, you can have anything. 

Really? Since when has that been true?

[MatthewsMummy]

I can relate to that. The other day upon telling a neighbour that we ended up having a c-section she had the gaul to say 'Well that was easier for you then' Seriously!!! I worked damn hard and still ended up having to endure the most heart wrenching experience of my life.
 

[Partaria]

what. What?!?! Easier? Are you serious??

That really burns me. Going through MAJOR surgery is not easy. Recovering from a cesarean is many many times harder than recovering from a vaginal birth. That is so dismissive and condescending and ignorant. How ridiculous.

You had an epic struggle, mama. I read your story in the other forum. Your birth was many things- easy is NOT one of them.