thinking about a uc

[fwfw]

Just for this thread, I created a new account. I have been an mdc member for a few years. People irl know my user name and I didn't really want them to know my thoughts about uc.

A little background ... About five years ago I birthed my twins in a hospital. 21 months later, I  had a vbac at home. The decision to homebirth was mostly because my husband and I couldn't "go back" to the hospital setting. It was a difficult birth and recovery for me. In general, I never had thoughts to homebirth before having twins, however, once we were pregnant with our third, the option to homebirth was on the table. In preparation for my hbac, I had to deal with the fear of uterine rupture (I really wasn't that concerned about other issues that could come up - only rupture). I was truly very scared about rupturing, however, my fears were eased the more I read about the low-risk nature of this occurrence (reading evidence-based scientific journals).

Overall, my homebirth was very good. I had a nice team of people, however, I now find myself thinking about giving birth without anyone in the room, with the exception of my husband and possibly kids. I learned that having people in the room made me relinquish some of the responsibility of birth.

Fast forward to today. I just learned that I am pregnant again. My husband thinks we're having another assisted homebirth. I told him I need to think about what to do. I'm actually thinking about having the birth without someone there (or possibly a doula in another room). I want to be completely focused on what's going on, and not directed by someone else. I do want to have a midwife come after the birth to check the placenta, etc.. 

I don't know if I have any specific questions or not. I guess I'm trying to "feel" my feelings out and find my way through this journey of pregnancy and birth.

[eknuckles]

I told another mama on here my thoughts on UC.
Its something very personal, and something you really will need to research.
Reading a lot and a lot of positive UC birth stories is good to keep yourself positive.
Learn the risks, but don't DWELL on it so you are so scare it will effect your birth.

I wanted to have a UC- but it almost seemed crazy. I finally had to just ADMIT to myself that yes, UC was what my heart told me to do!!
And that mama I told admitted to herself she wanted to UC also.


Just so you know, there are midwives who will stay in another room while you are in labor, or be on call in case you decide you want one.
Hope everything turns out well

[pregnova]

Originally Posted by fwfw 

Overall, my homebirth was very good. I had a nice team of people, however, I now find myself thinking about giving birth without anyone in the room, with the exception of my husband and possibly kids. I learned that having people in the room made me relinquish some of the responsibility of birth.

That's a huge reason behind my current UP/intended UC. I actually find that I'm more at ease with the pregnancy and upcoming birth than I ever was with a midwife or OB. Mostly because I am taking full responsibility for it and KNOW without a doubt that I'm doing what is best for myself and the pregnancy because it's not up to anyone else. It's very hard to explain to someone else, but I think you'll understand what I mean. 

But, yes, there are midwives that will give you all the space you need should you want a midwife on hand. 

[fwfw]

Originally Posted by pregnova 

That's a huge reason behind my current UP/intended UC. I actually find that I'm more at ease with the pregnancy and upcoming birth than I ever was with a midwife or OB. Mostly because I am taking full responsibility for it and KNOW without a doubt that I'm doing what is best for myself and the pregnancy because it's not up to anyone else. It's very hard to explain to someone else, but I think you'll understand what I mean.

Okay, when I read this sentence, it hit home! These feeilings indeed are difficulty to explain, even to myself. I had my husband read this thread and he is open to discussing the possibility....

Others please share your journey to uc - it's nice to hear the inner debate.

[sapientia]

Our thrd child was a planned UC. Prior to that we had two midwife assisted births (birthcenter and homebirth). For us the UC just made sense, a natural progression. I did a lot of praying, meditation and I just had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be 'just fine' and you know, it was! It was by far my easiest and most pain free birth. My two children after that were midwife assisted because I never got that 'ok' that I should/could handle it myself-and there were a couple of situations that while they weren't life threatening to either of us, I would have been a little overwhelmed. (cervical lip, meconium). I

I'm currently pg with our 6th and would love a UC, but I am waiting for that 'ok' you know? I guess for me there isn't an internal battle, it's more a given unless I feel otherwise!

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by pregnova 

Originally Posted by fwfw 

Overall, my homebirth was very good. I had a nice team of people, however, I now find myself thinking about giving birth without anyone in the room, with the exception of my husband and possibly kids. I learned that having people in the room made me relinquish some of the responsibility of birth.

That's a huge reason behind my current UP/intended UC. I actually find that I'm more at ease with the pregnancy and upcoming birth than I ever was with a midwife or OB. Mostly because I am taking full responsibility for it and KNOW without a doubt that I'm doing what is best for myself and the pregnancy because it's not up to anyone else. It's very hard to explain to someone else, but I think you'll understand what I mean. 

But, yes, there are midwives that will give you all the space you need should you want a midwife on hand. 

 

Dang it! I wanted to write more but DD just woke up from her nap. I'll be back to write more later...

Hi Pregnova!

[BaileyB]

OK, she went back to sleep. heehee.

Anyway, I am planning to UP with my next pregnancy and am only going to go in a few times in the 3rd trimester. Probably for one u/s to see where the placenta is and over all health of me and babe and uterus,etc. I am hoping my OB won't freak that I didn't come in earlier, but he's really cool and seems to really trust my instincts and doesn't treat me like I am a moron (which is refreshing in a doctor!!!). I already know that my choice to UC or not UC will be a "game day decision" as my husband calls it but I will be as prepared as possible for one none-the-less. I think I will either just show up to the hospital to birth or have an 'oopsies-at-home' birth; which may not even be a fib since it will be my 4th pregnancy.

I find it really calming to go into even ttc knowing I will be fully responsible for me and baby throughout a whole pregnancy. After having the best care with a great OB and a routine healthy pregnancy with my first pregnancy that ended with baby being stillborn with no known cause at 38 weeks, it really hit me that no one knows you and your body and growing baby better than YOU! I am not at all angry about that experience anymore but am grateful for everything that baby taught me.

Uh, DD is up again. Got to go!

[fwfw]

Originally Posted by sapientia 

Our thrd child was a planned UC. Prior to that we had two midwife assisted births (birthcenter and homebirth). For us the UC just made sense, a natural progression. I did a lot of praying, meditation and I just had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be 'just fine' and you know, it was! It was by far my easiest and most pain free birth. My two children after that were midwife assisted because I never got that 'ok' that I should/could handle it myself-and there were a couple of situations that while they weren't life threatening to either of us, I would have been a little overwhelmed. (cervical lip, meconium). I

I'm currently pg with our 6th and would love a UC, but I am waiting for that 'ok' you know? I guess for me there isn't an internal battle, it's more a given unless I feel otherwise!

WOW... I am in such disbelief. I love that you say that you got that "ok" with the third birth, but not the others. That is amazing. I know that I didn't have that okay feeling with my assisted homebirth, but I think that my body and mind are saying that it might be okay with this one.

I do need to work on my fear of rupturing, regardless if my birth is assisted or not. After I had pushed out my "vbac" baby, i had a lot of abdominal soreness for a couple of months. My pushing stage was a very intense eight minutes with an added layer of force by me. I know that i had facilitated a lot of the pushing and should have backed off A LOT while allowing my body to do its thing (which it was).  

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and I hope (sapientia) you get that "ok" with this birth.

[dreammama]

We also had a still birth at 38 weeks with our last baby after a perfect, "normal" pregnancy.  The only thing they could come up with was possible cord accident.  Because of this caregivers are a little afraid of us and want to micromanage our current pregnancy and birth.  It is for this reason that we plan on staying home and having an "ooops" UC as long as everything looks good and we are comfortable.  It just seems right.  We need this for our own healing.  We've put up with enough crap throughout the pregnancy, we don't need that environment for our birth.  

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by dreammama 

We also had a still birth at 38 weeks with our last baby after a perfect, "normal" pregnancy.  The only thing they could come up with was possible cord accident.  Because of this caregivers are a little afraid of us and want to micromanage our current pregnancy and birth.  It is for this reason that we plan on staying home and having an "ooops" UC as long as everything looks good and we are comfortable.  It just seems right.  We need this for our own healing.  We've put up with enough crap throughout the pregnancy, we don't need that environment for our birth.  

I 100% feel the same way. I just feel like I want to be left alone in my pregnancy.

[dreammama]

Hey BaileyB!  I just wanted to update that we had our beautiful baby boy UC!!!  It was fast, easy and pretty much painless.  There were a few painful contractions, but that's it!  We couldn't have imagined a more perfect experience!  Would love to hear how you are doing!  

[5andcounting]

These replys give me hope I'm planning a uc witch may become a oops us because my last two labors were 1 hour and 2 hours I want a home birth but here in Maryland it seems impossible to find a midwife thats not gonna empty my piggy bank lol I have state insurance that ill use to go to OB care with then ill make the decision at the last minute expecting number 6,  4 were natural and one epidural 4 hospital births and one birth center birth I loved that one I just hated the commute 45 minute drive Montgomery county seems to be the only county in MD that doesn't have a birthing center WTH.

[slyons83]

This is a great thread with great discussion going on. I just wanted to comment on BaileyB and dreammama, we also had a stillbirth at 39 weeks back in Dec. So it has only been 9 months for us since then and I am seriously considering a uc with my next pregnancy. Giving birth to her was my 3rd c-section and I am determined to birth vaginally next time around. I now know that none of my cs's were medically necessary and I'm comfortable with the low risk of rupture compared with all the greater risks to me by having another c-section. I decided right after she was born that I would have a homebirth next time but I really feel like I need to uc. I know a lot of people think I'm crazy for wanting a homebirth after 3 cs and especially when you factor in the stillbirth but even so, it just feels like the right thing for me to do. It would be very difficult to come up with the money for a midwife but truthfully the cost doesn't factor into my desire to uc at all. Anyways, I'm sorry for your losses. I just wanted to touch base with someone who could relate. Dreammama, congrats on your new baby boy!

[Linnaea]

fwfw~this is how I felt when I was pregnant with my daughter.  It felt best to give birth totally alone in order for me to take full responsibility and also because it simply felt right.  I didn't get any warning signs, either physical or intuitive, that I needed anyone else there and I was right.  The labor was peaceful, I listened to my instincts, which told me when to change positions, rotate my hips (during transition, I felt a strong urge to turn my hips first to the right and then to the left and looking back on that I realize it was because she was rotating like a cork screw and moving my hips like that made it easier for her).  Labor lasted about 9 hours and even though she was over 10 pounds, I didn't tear.  I also didn't lose much blood, she was alert and breastfed instantly and I only took about a week to recover.  We also had a very easy time bonding.  I attribute all of this to being alone because I was able to fully listen to myself and not feel overwhelmed by other people.  It was right for me and my baby and if you keep feeling like it's right for you and your little one, I say do it.  Your husband might feel a bit scared, but in the end it's what you need since you're the one giving birth.  That might sound harsh for hubby, but if he trusts you and your judgment then he will deal with it in his own way.

[dreammama]

It's hard to believe how many still births I hear about now that I had one.  I'd never really heard about anyone having one before.  I chose to vaginally birth my still born, and a lot of people thought I was crazy for it.  They didn't understand that being pregnant for him and giving birth to him were the only memories I would ever have and I wanted them to be good ones... or as good as possible considering the circumstances.  Even though having our new baby boy has been wonderful, I would offer a word of caution.  It has made the hole left by my last son more obvious and difficult to bear.  I guess I'm kinda off topic with this but it just seemed right to share.  The grieving has intensified the last couple months with our new little one around.  Our stillborn son would be 17 mo.  I think if you feel safe and comfortable with uc then it is right for you.  It was very healing for both my husband and myself.  God bless your journey!

[Linnaea]

Originally Posted by dreammama 

It's hard to believe how many still births I hear about now that I had one.  I'd never really heard about anyone having one before.  I chose to vaginally birth my still born, and a lot of people thought I was crazy for it.  They didn't understand that being pregnant for him and giving birth to him were the only memories I would ever have and I wanted them to be good ones... or as good as possible considering the circumstances.  Even though having our new baby boy has been wonderful, I would offer a word of caution.  It has made the hole left by my last son more obvious and difficult to bear.  I guess I'm kinda off topic with this but it just seemed right to share.  The grieving has intensified the last couple months with our new little one around.  Our stillborn son would be 17 mo.  I think if you feel safe and comfortable with uc then it is right for you.  It was very healing for both my husband and myself.  God bless your journey!

 I'm so sorry for your loss.  I understand why you would want to cherish your pregnancy and birth even though he was born still.  It also makes sense why the hole has seemed to have grown larger now that you have a new son.  Be gentle with yourself, mama, you've been through an awful lot.  Many blessings to you and your family. 

[briannas auntie]

I am wondering one thing about UC.  After you have delivered your baby and placenta, are you required to go to a doctor with your placenta to make sure all of it came out of you?  I have heard women can get bad infections after birth as well as lots of bleeding if even a tiny bit of the placenta is left in them.

Also, do you have to take your baby to the doctor within a certain period of time for a newborn checkup after an UC?  I have been thinking more and more about homebirth and UC and want to have  my future baby at home, but don't want the labor or birth to be distrupted by a midwife bugging me all the time checking me and stuff like that.  I would rather lay in the bathtub or sit on a birthing stool for labor and birth.  My boyfriend is behind me 100% in whatever I choose, but we both have some questions and concerns regarding all of this, but can't find a whole lot of resources on the subject of homebirth and UC.

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by dreammama 

Hey BaileyB!  I just wanted to update that we had our beautiful baby boy UC!!!  It was fast, easy and pretty much painless.  There were a few painful contractions, but that's it!  We couldn't have imagined a more perfect experience!  Would love to hear how you are doing!  

Sorry ! I didn't see this thread keep going. I am doing well, 11 weeks now. I am getting less comfortable with the my OB's ideas and more comfortable with birthing at home and doing minimal prenatals. We already had an unnecessary scare when the OB told me I had antigens in my blood when I had my prenatal screen which ended up being a tiny, almost unmeasurable amount of my previous rhogam shot in my blood still. Now he wants me in for an u/s every month, NST every 2 weeks in my last trimester, wants to strip my membranes at 37 weeks, and induce me at 38. Wow, um, NO! I'm planning on not going in for another appt until 16 weeks, then around 24 weeks, then like 28 or 30 weeks, then maybe one around 35 weeks (too early to strip me right?), then oops I didn't make it in until he was born. He already tested me for blood clot disorders and a few fertility tests and I am on baby aspirin anyway, and that is about what I am comfortable with.

[dreammama]

Sooooo?  I'd love to hear how you're doing!

[marci mommi]

Almost 13 yrs ago I had my first child at 21 yrs old induced in a hospital on my back after being persuaded into an epidural by my ob bc I was told without it that my labor wouldn't progress and I would end up with CS. Almost 4 yrs ago my second child was born in a hospital induction with a midwife whom I had felt I had a great relationship with. I had a concrete birth plan but when it came down to the end she was calling for an epidural (I did say I felt nauseated and didn't think I could keep going) and gave me stadol. The epidural never happened bc my body pushed my son out with little work on my part. The midwife neglected my plan for if I got to the transition and asked for pain relief. She never once questioned me or even tried to encourage me that the end was near rather she encouraged me not to give in to my bodies desire to push (it wasn't a desire it just did it). In fact she told me "do not push!" With this pregnancy the same midwife has already suggested we could schedule induction so I can be sure to deliver w her not with the OBs in her practice. She is just an OB in a MW white coat! Love her in so many ways but when it came down to the important work she failed me!
Finding out I'm pregnant after trying for a year almost was such wonderful news and I'm so excited to know this time I will birth my child without induction or interventions barring an actual emergency. I'm debating using a HB midwife but the out of pocket cost is phenomenal. I don't want the stress of a bill to weight on my homebirth.
My insurance pays 100% if I birth w the midwife in the hospital but only covers half of the cost for homebirth midwife.

I'll birth my baby surrounded by my tribe of women. Mothers with whom I share a special bond and whose births I've been involved with. With or without a midwife attending I plan to birth this babe in the loving arms of my friends and under my own guidance from the primal instincts within!

I cannot wait to give birth!!! Just 7 months to go!!!