Originally Posted by mamazee
When my kids do something that seems off-the-wall like this, as hard as it is, I try to look past the behavior at the reason for the behavior, and figure out a solution based on that. Why on earth would she destroy a DVD? It doesn't sound like you're talking about a 3-year-old, so I assume this is a child who is old enough to know better. Did you ask her why? What was the DVD about? Is it a subject she hated? Have you and she been fighting over instruction about whatever the DVD is about? Is it a subject she's uncomfortable with? Does she just not like learning by DVDs or spending time on homeschooling stuff in general?
I guess I'd want those kinds of questions answered before I figured out what to do. If it needs to be replaced, the money needs to come from somewhere, and you can work with her on a solution to that, but I'd be wanting to know the whys so it doesn't happen again.
Dd is 12 and she does know better. I asked her why she did it and she said "I don't know". I agree that we need to explore with her why she did this.
We have not been fighting over homeschooling or this dvd. She almost always chooses to do this subject first so I don't think she hates it.
Originally Posted by ameliabedelia
I would make her give you (work off, etc.) $20, which I would assume to be the cost of the DVD alone (if the entire set costs $40). You don't need to use that money to replace the set, but just let her know that she has to replace it's worth.
If one person destroys another person's property, that person has every right to demand the destroyer pay the value of the item, however he/she is under no obligation to use that money to replace the item.
I discussed it with dh and I think we would like her to pay the value of the item in some way. If she did this to something that belonged to a neighbor or a friend then she would need to make some restitution.
Originally Posted by MaryBelle
Throw out that particular set of DVD's. She doesn't like them. Then sit down and TOGETHER figure out what you will replace them with for the fall. She should be part of the decision making process - it's HER education. We used to bribery system - "you want this, you have to do that". You have to combine what she wants with what she needs.
Don't worry about the games; my boys learned a lot from them.
The curriculum is supposed to fit the child, not the other way round. She's trying in her not-very-tactful way to tell you she hates that particular set. Kids are real good at getting rid of the clunkers in the curriculum.
That is a point. I'll discuss with her why she did this and see if she simply wants to try something different. I think I am pretty responsive to her feedback in making curriculum choices.
Dd has never said that she does not like this curriculum and we've been using it for awhile. We have used other things in the past that she hated and she made that obvious. If dd dislikes something she has always been pretty vocal about it. This curriculum has actually been a really good fit so maybe it is something else going on that doesn't have to do with homeschooling.
I'm not opposed to dd playing games. We already have 3 game systems in our home that dd plays with already. It just seemed a bit wrong to hand her a new fun thing right after she destroyed something else.
Thanks for the input everyone!
If anyone else has thoughts on how you would handle this situation please keep posting.