BFN 11dpo. I don't think it's "too early" and I think it will be staying that way. fml.
- topicInfertilitytagged by System, 5/29/12
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June 2012 Infertility One Thread- June Bugs Bring Spring Births - Page 3post #41 of 2926/5/12 at 6:04ampost #42 of 2926/5/12 at 7:12ampost #43 of 2926/5/12 at 9:08amThread Starterpost #44 of 2926/5/12 at 1:46pm
Sila - sorry about your BFN. hugs to you.
Shesaidboom - I hope you have a wonderful wedding day! Forget about TTC for a bit, it's YOUR day!
Welcome bucket & knocked up.
AFM - I saw the doctor who did my lap last week and she gave me more info on why I was stage 3 and stuff. She said they found endo all over the place: on the ligaments holding the uterus in place, behind the uterus, in front of the uterus, on a few other organs. Luckily none on the bladder or ovaries or tubes.
DH gave me my first Puregon injection last night, it was a breeze! It was actually kind of exciting. Tonight MIL is going to come over to watch DH give me the injection since DH is going out of town for a few days so MIL will do my injections instead (she lives a block away from us). I have such a sweet MIL, and she is so supportive!
Just found out a few minutes ago that one of my few remaining friends without kids is expecting. And we were planning to hang out with them this weekend. DH wants me to discuss with my psychologist tonight so I don't have a breakdown this weekend.post #45 of 2926/5/12 at 5:19pm
Thanks for the welcome!
I survived day one of clomid. A bit headachey bit that's not too unusual for me.
Sila: Not fair, I'm sorry:( its hard not to hope so much for every cycle...my husband just told me that while he is upset every month he feels that I am "shattered." I guess I'm not hiding it as well as I thought...
Sourie: good luck with your friends, as we all know others pregnancies are just so hard to deal with. I have lost one of my best friends since this journey began as I was apparently not happy enough for her when she announced after 2 months of trying that she was pregnant. Good luck, I hope your therapist has some words of wisdom that will help you deal with this weekend
Hi to everyone else!post #46 of 2926/5/12 at 7:41pmSila- Errrrr what the heck! I'm so sorry I get you n the socks thing. It has taken some getting used to but it is getting easier. Remember, here it has only been in the 70's, in Cali it is hot hot hot. I actually turned on the heat last nigh, june 4th and it was only 55 and rainy, brrrr.
Hi milk- thinkng of you!
Sourire- so interesting about your endo, i had it on my ligaments too! We are both hoping cyle 3 (full cycle #2) after the LAP is a good one! Hope your appt tonight helps with the emotions this weekend, so tough. Is this an understanding friend or will you have insensitivity on top of new mama?
Afm- still boring stages... 5 dpo, forgot my meds last night, dh is gone or 2weeks so i'm all outta whack..
Anyone else addicted to 16 and pregnant? I think I'm a glutton for punishment. The finale is on... I dream for a baby... Also the birth control business on this show and pushing the acceptence of teen sex astounds me. Iwon't get on my soap box but it annoys me.post #47 of 2926/5/12 at 9:02pmThread Starter
Damnit. I thought A.F. was gone, but I'm bleeding again and hurting badly again. Wondering if I should call the on-call O.B. My hubby isn't here right now, so I can't ask him what he thinks. What do you all think? It's not like labor pains this time, just intense. Earlier I felt like something was up with my left ovary, but that was before I noticed the bleeding and it is where the boys implanted. I'm wondering if I have some scarring there that is still healing. Any thoughts?post #48 of 2926/5/12 at 10:31pm
Shesaidbloom- yeah, ugh I hate that people just through out suggestions like I never thought of that. Oh, gees thanks I have been praying, crying and going through hell for about four years now. Where were you before, I didn't realize Hey I can just adopt!!!! Thank you!!! Problem solved. All my worries are gone now. eeehhhhhhh!
Another one is,"Hey when are you guys going to have kids?" Like oh I don't know, how about on New Years. When New Years rolls around thats when you will see me with a child!!!! What the heck is wrong with people?????!!!!!post #49 of 2926/5/12 at 10:38pm
Toothfairy- I watch sixteen and pregnant, mostly because I see how their immature boyfriends cheat on them and how they can't afford things for their baby. I in a way am jealous but feel bad for them because if I had a child they would have anything and everything they would need and want. I also wouldn't have my husband cheat on me with any girl he met at a party or something.
Ps. I also watch a baby story and make room for multiples. But get extremely annoyed when I see some women plan there pregnancy like to the day and complain about having a C-section or getting induced. Sometimes there are cases where women do IVF and succeed or go through Infertility for many many years and finally do succeed. Thats really why I watch it!post #50 of 2926/5/12 at 10:50pm
Sourire- Big hugs, finding out your friend is pregnant. It's difficult. One of the reasons it hit me so hard when I had SIL's ultrasound picture shoved in my face and got to see her push out her non existent stomach to show me her bump, was that I had no idea she even wanted kids. Bla, anyways hopefully your psychologist has some coping skills that may help you with that.post #51 of 2926/6/12 at 4:08am
Sila, I am so sorry to hear of your BFN.
Deborah, I hope your AF that never ends finally stops. I would call the OB to just make sure it isn't some unusual bleeding from something else inside.
AFM, DH is sick with a cold - he came home from work early yesterday and slept most of the day - coughing, runny nose, headache, etc - today he called in sick. He kept tossing and turning in bed last night. Took me forever to fall asleep. Plus I was thinking and hoping that the tender breasts, cramps, and nausea I was feeling last night just might be something that means I could be pregnant. Temp this morning was down a little bit (it is 9 DPO). I am not a POAS addict so I am waiting until at least 11 DPO to test. If my temp bottoms out tomorrow, then no wasted test. If it doesn't, here is to hoping. Next Tuesday we go to see the RE.post #52 of 2926/6/12 at 7:19am
Just wanted to pop in and tell you I'm still stalking you guys (and this thread), I've just been too exhausted by the time I get home to keep up with multiple thread personals/etc.
Sila, so sorry to hear about the BFN!
Deborah, hope AF stops very soon so you can START a new cycle. :)
cait, haha, I have the exact same soapbox feelings about 16&pregnant (but still can't tear myself away if I get sucked into it).
sourire, :( about dealing with your friend. Will be thinking of you this weekend; hopefully you can talk with your therapist and process everything before you see her.
shesaidboom, ahhhhhh! Wedding time! So exciting and can't wait to see pictures. I hope your day is sooo lovely and filled with joy and fun!
Sorry so short, but back to work it is! Thinking of you all!post #53 of 2926/6/12 at 8:41am
bucket - you shouldn't try to hide how you feel each time you get a BFN. Trying to suppress your feelings will just make things worse! It's healthy to just let it all out, then move on.
toothfairy - She's not a very close friend, it's actually her husband who is good friends with my DH. We'll see how things go. I sometimes watch 16 and pregnant to torture myself. Those girls' lives are such a mess! :)
deborah - what cycle day are you on now? Are you bleeding heavily? I often think AF is over and then it picks up again, its normal for me. Of course its not very heavy bleeding and it's not accompanied by horrid pain. I hope you get things figured out soon.
lilac - my fingers are crossed for a miracle for you!
AFM - as if my friend's news yesterday wasn't enough, this morning I went on Facebook and found out one of my ex-boyfriends (the one I dated the longest before I met DH) has a new baby. I didn't even know they were expecting. Luckily I managed to stop crying before I got to work. I haven't really felt any side effects from the Puregon/Femara so far but it seems like I'm getting more emotional so I'll blame the crying on the meds. The plan for this weekend is: deal with them talking about pregnancy for a little while, then DH and I will both try to change the topic of conversation if necessary. These people don't know we're doing fertility treatments... though I did mention to them a couple of years ago that we had started trying, I have no idea if they remember.post #54 of 2926/6/12 at 10:02amThread Starter
The bleeding wasn't that heavy, but it surprised me because I had barely been spotting. I am back to just spotting now and only minimal pain. I took a muscle relaxant last night figuring that the uterus is a muscle and it might help. It does seem to have helped a bit. The hubby was less than supportive- said: "You're in pain? Well, that's normal." He's right that I have a lot of pain in general, but that was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted an "I'm sorry you're in pain, let's talk about it." I thought he got the whole Endo thing and got the fact that my uterus is probably not back to normal yet, but I guess I was wrong. I wore myself out crying yesterday and am still exhausted. So far, it looks like the electrician won;t be here for a while, if he comes at all today. I was supposed to get a call this morning, so I'm thinking maybe I don't have to rush to get the house cleaned. Windshield repair folk will be here this afternoon- some time between 2 and 6, so I've got a while to get ready for that and probably don't even have to let them in the house.post #55 of 2926/6/12 at 10:02amThread Starter
The bleeding wasn't that heavy, but it surprised me because I had barely been spotting. I am back to just spotting now and only minimal pain. I took a muscle relaxant last night figuring that the uterus is a muscle and it might help. It does seem to have helped a bit. The hubby was less than supportive- said: "You're in pain? Well, that's normal." He's right that I have a lot of pain in general, but that was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted an "I'm sorry you're in pain, let's talk about it." I thought he got the whole Endo thing and got the fact that my uterus is probably not back to normal yet, but I guess I was wrong. I wore myself out crying yesterday and am still exhausted. So far, it looks like the electrician won;t be here for a while, if he comes at all today. I was supposed to get a call this morning, so I'm thinking maybe I don't have to rush to get the house cleaned. Windshield repair folk will be here this afternoon- some time between 2 and 6, so I've got a while to get ready for that and probably don't even have to let them in the house.post #56 of 2926/6/12 at 10:05amThread Starterpost #57 of 2926/6/12 at 12:01pm
I am having a crappy crappy time right now. My jealousy is just getting the better of me. I have a lot of anxiety about SIL's baby shower on Sunday. I am so anxious and jealous and feeling sorry for myself right now, I am not even enjoying the summer.
I have to start doing things differently! Acupuncture is expensive but I think I need the relaxation. Also does anyone know how I could get counseling if I just don't have a lot of money right now. I don't want to spend all my money on counseling and etc. and not do IVF, that would be counterproductive.
Bha I am such a mess everyone. help!post #58 of 2926/6/12 at 1:12pmpost #59 of 2926/6/12 at 2:02pm
lilac- yes, they do. I am still waiting for my first appt. with them so I hope they will take us both in to do counseling right away. I need it. Its just a waiting game for me now. I can't afford to go to a psychiatrist right now. Medical doesn't cover it. Yes, I am on my way to seeing counseling.
Thats actually one of the reasons I chose this clinic. I had my 3d ultrasound and die test there. THey are pretty awesome and compassionate their so far anyways. They have couples counseling specifically for IVF. They also have a loss support group that I would hope to attend.post #60 of 2926/6/12 at 3:18pm
deborah - I know I'm kind of late, but I would call the OB just to be sure. It can't hurt, right?
peachy is lucky you do so many classes with her! I think we may need to sign up for another with Lola. It has been a while.
I'm sorry hubby was so insensitive. Can you try talking to him to tell him what you need from him when you're hurting so much? Guys can be really clueless about how hard all this female stuff can be, not that it is any excuse.
bucketofrain - welcome to the group! I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time. I hope the clomid works for you and you will get your BFP this time. It really is helpful to have people who get it.
cait - I can't wait either, and you're right about looking on the bright side. I think it was someone in this thread who told me that rain on the wedding day brings a fertile marriage, and I hope that's true because it's supposed to pour!
Thanks for sharing the sleep schedule info. It's always helpful. I'm with Sila on the socks though! I can never fall asleep if I have socks on. I'm sorry things are so exhausting right now.
I used to be addicted to 16 and pregnant. I agree about the glutton for punishment thing. It always made me feel awful, but I couldn't stop watching.
lilac - I hope you are pregnant!
milk8shake - hi!
hope4light - I know, right? It feels like time just flew right by. I can't believe we're here already. I hope next cycle is the one too. Thanks!
SilaMarila - I'm so sorry about the BFN. SimplyRochelle described it so well..like a huge kick in the gut every month. Gentle hugs to you.
Sourire - thank you!
I'm so glad the Puregon went well for you. I'm so sorry about the situation with your friend and now the facebook news. That is honestly the exact reason why I rarely ever log into facebook anymore. I hope at the end of this cycle you'll be the one expecting too. I also hope your friends remember your convo and are sensitive about things.
deportivo4 - my favourite is "just don't worry about it and it will happen". I just answer that with "no, it won't, but thanks anyway". People can be just awful sometimes!
I would be feeling the same way right now. I'm glad you're on the waiting list for a counselling appointment. Is there any way you can call to get in sooner? Seeing the psych at our office helped so much. I'm glad your clinic is really great! That's always a great thing.
chicajones - hi! thanks for the good thoughts!
AFM - I'm trying to focus on the good stuff and ignore that deadline we set for ourselves, but it's proven hard. I was at the mall earlier today to pick up a couple last minute things and it was full of babies. I know I should have expected it. I mean, mall, in the middle of a hot day? DUH. I didn't think it would bother me so much though. I nearly lost it. I guess all I can do is keep trying to ignore the TTC stuff and have fun at the wedding. I'm probably going to be too busy in a couple days to worry so much about this! Hopefully, anyway. If I'm away from the boards for a while again, I hope I come back to lots of happy BFP news!!
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