Obviously, the first thing is that no one can predict and nothing is certain until its set in stone. That is...until you get the final decree of adoption in the mail that states this child is forever legally yours, you will not truly breathe. Because *anything* can happen until then. I didnt even realize i was "holding my breath" until i got those papers. And no matter WHAT the sw or anyone else tells you...until those final papers are signed there really is no way to know and while you think knowing what way the case is leaning may make you feel better in reality you live with the uncertainty anyway no matter what you think you know about the case.
My very first foster placement was three weeks old, no mother in sight. She didnt want to RU, there was only one relative interested that we worried about but he was an older single guy who really wasnt able to adopt and only saw the baby occasionally like once a month if that. TPR took place just before my son turned 4 months old, adoption finalized at less than 11 months old.
I very much regret not going to court. No one ever told me about when they would be or that i could be there. I would give anything to have met my son's bmom (well, she wasnt at court i dont think)...there is info that they legally cannot give you right now as the "foster parent" that MAY come out in court. For example, my son's bfather is not named, there is ONE spot on the child assessment that has a name but its redacted (blacked out)....but the worker had said "oh we know who he is and he wont come to court because there he has an outstanding warrant"...well that may have been brought up in court, and i'd at least have a name to give my son, a name for who his father might be. But i have nothing.
I have adopted two other children and that case was very different. We did visits every week at the agency for months and even continued visits during a protracted trial where the parents tried very hard to get the kids back. Going to visits helped me form some positive feelings about bmom and i can tell those positive things to my children. I was able to talk to the bmom and she i think felt as comfortable as possible given the situation, she knows her kids are safe with me. I was able to exchange email addresses (mine, a private one) and cell number with her so i could maintain contact since where i live that does NOT seem to be encouraged. She still hasnt sent baby pics (my daughter had no pictures of herself before she moved in with me at age 8 :( ) but hopefully one day.
But going to court also provided a different perspective. I had been told things by bmom that painted her in a sympathetic light, but it turns out a lot of that was lies. I got to see a different side in court. And the biggest thing is that i can truly tell my children everything that happened, that their parents fought hard for them but i can also tell them the beautiful statement the judge made about WHY she was terminating rights, that she had their best interests in mind. I would have NONE of that had i not gone.
Of course its possible that if you went to court it would be kind of a waste of time, either nothing would really be said or decided, or it will be rescheduled, etc....that happens too. But i think if there is any way to go you should go. Here, the foster parent can sit in the courtroom for everything but i've heard in some places they can't? i dunno.
To me, if you dont know what the bparents look like, i'd go for that reason alone. Ask her if you can take some pictures of her for the baby. These things will be so important for your child if you do adopt the baby.