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Homebirthers, would you have done it unassisted?

post #1 of 64
Thread Starter 

Where I live, home birth is being challenged and the midwife I was seeing will not deliver my baby at home.  This is my second pregnancy.  My son was born in a hospital and the nurses/doctors were rude and rough.  They did not have any faith in me or my body.  I ended up with pitocin, Demerol, and an awful episiotomy.  Not the worst that could happen, I know.  But none of it was necessary and I was traumatized. This time around I don't even want to go that route.  Right now I am casually seeing a midwife/Ob team at a near by hospital, although I feel that is unnecessary also and just a huge ball of stress for me and therefore my baby.  My husband and I are secretly preparing for an unassisted home birth.  Only telling those who support us (my sister, who had a home birth, and my mother are all supporters)


I'm asking all mothers who have had a home birth with a midwife to share if they think they could have made it without one.  I'm also asking mothers who have birthed unassisted (planned or not) whether they would do it again.  I've read tons of birth stories and I'm not interested in reading a ton more.  I'd just like to know how experienced homebirthers feel about being unassisted. 


I personally feel prepared mentally,physically, and spiritually for this.

post #2 of 64

No, I wouldn't have an unassisted birth.  

post #3 of 64

Although my midwife didn't arrive until 5 minutes before my dd was born, my dd had a lot of fluid in her lungs, and my midwives expertise helping her to breathe and keeping an eye on her for hours after the birth was worth it to me. I'm experienced in CPR, but I wouldn't have had the oxygen needed, nor would I have had the background to know what's normal etc. I also would probably have taken my dd to get checked out if we wouldn't have had our midwife.


That said, my midwife had never seen a baby with so much fluid in her lungs, so our situation wasn't normal. My dd descended through my pelvis and was born during only one contractions, and she never got a good squeeze.


If I was in your situation for my next child, and my dh was on board, I would probably go unassisted if no underground midwives were available. Or I would check myself into the hospital during the pushing phase if my dh wasn't on board.

post #4 of 64

I have had one successful homebirth and I'm planning on my second this summer.  As much as it sucks, if I suddenly lost access to my HB midwives I would go to the hospital before I would go unassisted.  I am pretty educated about birth (the u/s tech was surprised I knew what velamentous insertion of the cord was) but I nothing compares to the 1,000's of births my midwives have attended.

post #5 of 64

Having had 2 kids, if I had to, I would UC, but knowing how intense things get and how even though it's a natural thing birth is not a normal everyday occurrance and rarely goes "textbook", I liked the assurance of a midwife confirming everything's ok.

post #6 of 64

Nope, I'd do what LittleBirdy said and go to the hospital as late as possible before I'd UC. I support those who do UC but I had a pretty difficult homebirth with DS (asinclytic, cervical lip, midwife has to use her fingers as forceps, cervical swelling, tearing, and lots of bleeding).


However, you said YOU feel prepared for a UC. If you trust that feeling and are very educated on birth, it's all up to you. thumb.gif Make a decision you can be at peace with!

post #7 of 64

I would not. Where I live, midwives are licensed to do homebirths and are well integrated into the hospital setting as well. My personal experience birthing at home was fabulous, but also required emergency care for me afterward. I would not hesitate to birth at home again, but not without professional care.

post #8 of 64

I wouldn't have a planned unassisted birth. Not because I don't trust my body, but because who knows what could happen? My son was born with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck and arms multiple times, my husband and I just froze while our midwife sprang into action. She had troubles getting the cord off of him, I couldn't imagine my DH and I being able to do that while also being scared and shocked. 

post #9 of 64
Thread Starter 

Thanks ladies!

post #10 of 64

No, I wouldn't plan an unassisted birth. And I have had one, unplanned, which was successful.


My second birth was a planned midwife/hospital birth. I had an unusually short labor that caused me to give birth alone and unassisted. I was very lucky and I grateful that there weren’t complications.But it is not, ever, something I would choose. My body was awesome. My delivery was awesome. But more awesome would have been having someone there for if the awesomeness...wasn't.


This birth is a planned homebirth with a midwife with extensive homebirth experience.

post #11 of 64

I almost did on accident last time, since the midwife barely made it, but I wouldn't do it on purpose. I'm pregnant now and the midwife has plans to leave IMMEDIATELY if I even think I'm in labor. Everyone is different though, so if you're looking for more affirmative answers, just check out the Unassisted board. :)

Oh, but I would use an underground, experienced midwife if midwifery were illegal in my state. I'd do that before going unassisted.

post #12 of 64

i have had a planned uc, but wouldn't again. my birth after that was a midwife assisted homebirth. nothing bad happened, i just feel it's not for me anymore. i also feel lucky nothing bad happened. after having a midwife for the next one i started feeling like i am lucky nothing went wrong when i uc'd.

post #13 of 64

No I wouldn't UC.  I've had 2 homebirths and am currently planning a 3rd.  Both mine have had some problems getting out, stuck under my pubic bone with first (pushed for 2.5 hours) and the second was stuck at the shoulders after his head was out.  I love my midwives, they are amazing and I can't imagine doing it without them.


And in my state midwives who practice homebirth aren't exactly 'legal'.  Mine are CPM's certified in another state, and practice very openly, but it's still a risk for them.

post #14 of 64

I have had two planned HBs. The first was a hospital transfer that was not necessary. The second was a HB with a fair amount of intervention for the baby following birth. I have never considered UC - it's not for me. My personal feeling is that birth is painful and difficult in order to draw support to the mother and child. 

post #15 of 64

Not for me..I've had 3 planned homebirths, 2 unplanned hospital births, and am about to have my first planned hospital birth due to my midwife no longer practicing and we liked the ob more than our other prospects. My husband would be totally fine with uc though if that is what I wanted or if we did not make it for whatever reason.

post #16 of 64

No, but only because I really need support during transition and pushing (and honestly I'm fairly certain at this point that this has to do with some stuff in my past, not with any current reality). I do secretly hope for a super short labor with an accidental UC (there is something so appealing about it being just DH and I). I just don't feel like it's something I can plan for given my own issues. I am very lucky though. I have an awesome HB MW who is willing to be super hands off. If I decide at the last minute I want her in the other room no where near me, she's good with that.


I really admire people who UC and I think it just depends on the person and the particular pregnancy. I would seriously consider a UC (and probably do it) if a homebirth with a midwife wasn't an option for some reason. As long as I'm low risk, hospitals are out of the question for me (too hard for me mentally but obviously I'd just have to deal in the event of an emergency or high risk situation where baby would be safer there).

post #17 of 64

No.  I like the added safety a midwife can offer, and someone to support me and remind me I can do this.  


It sucks you might have to choose between UA and a hospital birth.


Any independent midwives available?  How about a birth centre?

post #18 of 64
I find birth to be a scary/ intense/ lonely journey. I also think it is amazing and miraculous, but that, to me is the bigger picture. In the moment of transition, in the moments of " I can't make it" I need a woman. Preferably one who is very familiar with childbirth (very). I, too would choose a doula, underground midwife, or anyone else I thought fit for the job before I would UC.
But I do agree with the quote that " every woman knows how & where to birth"
So for me, that's what I know I need.
Good luck with your decision.
post #19 of 64

I will add that I love the idea of it and just being alone with my husband. I think I might be less inhibited. But safety wise, I just don't feel that I would be okay if something went wrong and I had made that decision.


eta... I think *every* woman no matter what her birth philosophy needs to be prepared for the possibility of an accidental uc.

post #20 of 64
Thread Starter 

There are absolutely no midwives around that would assist my home birth.  I spent the first two trimesters of this pregnancy searching, and searching, and searching.  I've interviewed multiple hospitals already and all are very high in intervention and csections rates.  I was very lucky to even find a midwife at a hospital near by.  Although I wouldn't really call her a midwife. My first appointment with her she told me to just have a csection and get it over and done with. She was completely serious.  She also looked at me like I had two heads when I said I wanted a natural birth.

All birthing centers are over an hour away. 

Everything in the universe seems to be pointing me in the direction of a home birth, an unassisted home birth.  The thought of being alone seems so peaceful to me.  It's obviously hard painful and sometimes scary work, but it's what our bodies were made for.  I also will have the support of my husband, sister, and mother if I want.  And the hospital is only 20 minutes away if something goes wrong.

I would never knowingly put my babies life in danger if I were high risk, breech, or if I had placenta problems. 

I posted this thread in "home birth" and in "unassisted childbirth" and it's so crazy the differences in opinion. 

Thank you all for your thoughts.

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