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Homebirthers, would you have done it unassisted? - Page 2

post #21 of 64

An hour away for a birth centre does not sound too far for me, unless you deliver quickly.

 

Given the horrible rate of C-sections at your local hospitals, I would at least research UA (are there stats on safety and can you live with the risk profile?)

 

Good luck!

post #22 of 64
Quote:
I was very lucky to even find a midwife at a hospital near by.  Although I wouldn't really call her a midwife. My first appointment with her she told me to just have a csection and get it over and done with. She was completely serious.  She also looked at me like I had two heads when I said I wanted a natural birth.

 

Are you a vbac? It didn't sound like it from the first post, so that is just insane and really sad for her clients. At some point I would definitely say the risks of hospital birth (very high section rate or something like that) outweigh the risks of unassisted and would opt for one. Thankfully I am not in that position, but I totally understand your reasoning. It really sucks I'm sure. I am really glad to be in a state where I do have a lot of options for care.

 

I think I am in pretty good hands with my current OB but their protocol is I get whoever is on call when I go in, so I am still hesitant with that. We are 30 minutes or so out from the hospital but there is a hotel 2 minutes away and I am thinking about going and getting a room to be close by but not going in until I am really close to the birth, just to avoid all the early stuff.

post #23 of 64

no, I wouldn't.

post #24 of 64

Have you expanded your search to neighboring states (mine comes from out of state)?  Some of the mamas on Finding your tribe may be able to help you.  I don't think I would intentionally UC.  My midwife is hours from me though- so I know it is a definite possibility though.  My first 3 births went pretty smooth really and my last was at home with my MW and for some reason I developed a cervical lip that would not go away.  So I kind of went in and out of transition for a few days without my water ever breaking.  I don't know how long I would have put up with that before I would have given up and went to the hospital.  I also love having someone to take care of me and the baby who knows what she is doing :)  I do agree with the other posters that it is very appealing to just have it be DH and I.  I also completely agree that if you are both comfortable with the idea- you shouldn't let us influence you.

post #25 of 64

I also wanted to add that some midwives will assist you if 'you' go out of state.  I know  of a state by me where the climate is so hostile for home births that the mamas must drive across the border to deliver.  I would be fine with this as well since generally speaking you have some time to get in the car and go even a couple of hours away....

post #26 of 64
Thread Starter 

I didn't have a csection with my first birth.  Her reasoning was that I had a long labor  (21 hrs from the first contraction. I don't really call that long especially for a first time momma)  with a 7lb baby and my body might not be able to birth a baby any bigger. haha.

I also think it's funny that none of the libraries around me even carry books about home birth or anything like it.  The only books they carry are "natural childbirth for dumbies" and "home birth in the hospital". 

I could go out of state to my sisters house and deliver there with the midwife she had, and that's definitely another possibility for us. I've also thought about the a hotel room for laboring before I go to a better hospital further away or even a birth center...but in a hotel who knows what kind of germs are there. gross.

I might even labor at home as long as possible then transfer, but I don't even want my baby being born into that environment.  Hospitals are so cruel to mothers and infants.

post #27 of 64
Quote:
I didn't have a csection with my first birth.  Her reasoning was that I had a long labor  (21 hrs from the first contraction. I don't really call that long especially for a first time momma)  with a 7lb baby and my body might not be able to birth a baby any bigger. haha.

 

Eh, my first was a 36-Hour labor with a 7 1/2ish lb. baby. My fourth baby was 9lbs. 12oz. and much shorter labor. 5th was also over 9lbs. and with a big head. No problems birthing either of them and no correlation between their size and length of labor.

post #28 of 64

No.  I've had two homebirths, one that went off without a hitch and another that had some complications.  Similar to a previous poster, I had a very fast birth and my son was born needing to be resuscitated and receive and oxygen.  My midwife handled it appropriately, but if I had been by myself without access to her equipment (like an oxygen tank), things could have gone very poorly.   My little boy who turns one in a few weeks could have serious developmental delays and brain damage if he hadn't had access to the oxygen he needed at birth.

post #29 of 64

No, I wouldn't. For me personally, when I give birth I'm not in a place to be making "rational" well-thought out decisions. I kind of check out - and just act based on instinct. I wouldn't want the added pressure of having to give birth and be responsible for the things a midwife would do.

 

I think if I were in your position I would do everything I could to have a skilled birth attendant - even if it meant going to my sister's house, or some other option out of state. I empathize with you because you are in a tough spot - and it doesn't sound like there are any easy options for you. hug2.gif But that being said - you really have to do what you feel most comfortable with. 

post #30 of 64

No, I wouldn't. 

 

I had a pitocin induced birth with DD with midwives in a hospital (had planned for a birth center, was "risked" out after water broke with no onset of labor).  Anyway, my birth was great with DS.  We had a homebirth.  I actually was like (during labor), "Wow, I can really see why people go unassisted, it would be great to just not call the midwife."  Right around then was when DP knew to call the midwife, lol.

 

Anyway, my water broke and I had agreed the midwife apprentice could deliver.  I was immediately pushing and then it became clear there was a "problem."  It ended up that DS had passed meconium and had the cord wrapped around his chest, then around his chest and shoulders and then also around his neck!  He ended up getting stuck with just a bit of his head out.  The midwife took over, was able to get him  out--- he was blue and limp.  She was soooooo calm.  He was pinked up and breathing by the 3 minute apgar and everything was wonderful.  I was so glad to not be in the hospital but I was also soooo thankful for the midwife.  We would  have not know how to handle it and wouldn't have even known there was a problem (DD took hours to push out, so I wouldn't have known there was an issue that quickly).

 

I understand there are tragedies that happen.  I just feel *for me* that they would increase without a professional.

post #31 of 64

You should hit the u\c area and get their ideas too. 

My background is i had a planed c\s due to baby one having a birth defect. midwives in my state can't do VBACS so my options are hospital\traveling midwife\or UC

 

I took the unassisted option. I loved it. I had my husband, a doula, & a friend attend. It was a wonderfully perfect birth. I prepared by reading even more then I already had and got together a kit rather like what midwives would have in their bags. I used hardly any of it but I liked knowing the supplies were available if I needed it.

 

I had a 24 hour labor (including all the prelabor stuff) about 6 hours of active and only 2.5 hours or so of really hard work. 30 minutes of pushing and out came a perfect baby boy. With this pregnancy I am absolutely planing on doing it again. I monitor very closely during prenatals for any issues and make sure I get my 20 week u\s to check where the placenta is but as long as nothing arises during pregnancy that would make it a bad idea then Unassisted is a wonderful option.

 

regardless of your location get a DOULA. 

post #32 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by afr2010 View Post

I didn't have a csection with my first birth.  Her reasoning was that I had a long labor  (21 hrs from the first contraction. I don't really call that long especially for a first time momma)  

 

It's NOT a long labor for a first timer. 24 hours is pretty standard for a first birth.  Due to that and her suggestion of getting a c\s just to 'let it over with' I wouldn't touch that 'midwife' witha  ten foot pole. angry.gif

post #33 of 64

24 hours is a long labor for a first time mom? What is she smoking? Wow!

post #34 of 64

I had one in the hospital that went well and one at home that went well.  I wouldn't have an unassisted homebirth on purpose though.  I will be happy if my baby comes before the midwife gets here though.  But, I feel good knowing that she is on her way and able to help with anything as soon as she arrives and she can check out me and baby.   If I had a poor hospital situation, I would probably try to labor as long as possible at home...or in the parking lot, and then waddle in as I was ready to push!

post #35 of 64

I am in awe of women who can UC....i have had 2 HB and 1 BC birth and i have been an off the wall loon all three times.  With my second, as the head was crowning, my MW suggested i put my hand down to feel it and i asked her 'what is this thing?"    with my last HB i told everyone to go home "because this just isnt working and we can try it again tomorrow" 

I am just in another universe when i deliver and i know i wouldnt have the presence of mind to be able to catch a baby, react to an emergency, even just make simple changes in position - i REALLY need a support staff! 

I almost want to ask what sort of woman - unfriendly state you are in....there are NO DE midwives?  they can be a little tricky to find sometimes.  The idea of going to your sisters house and delivering there sounds lovely to me  - assuming you and your sister get along , you can move in a few days before the big event (hopefully) and stay for a few days afterwards.

Good Luck to you whatever you choose

post #36 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by afr2010 View Post

 

I personally feel prepared mentally,physically, and spiritually for this.

 

I think that is the key, right there. You have to so what you are at peace with. I believe everyone is led differently, and sometimes that is because each situation may need something different. Me personally, I would UC in a heartbeat. I have had 3 babies so far. 2 of them were UC's, though only one was pre-planned. I can tell you that if you are well-educated, mentally prepared, and feel spiritually ready for it, it can be one of the most amazing experiences you will probably ever have. I wouldn't even consider a hospital birth in an area where they all seem as high-intervention as yours do, unless I had reason to believe (that reason to include gut instinct) that something was wrong. I would honestly consider driving over an hour to a birth center (if they seem non-intervention and trustworthy) before I would go to a hospital like that. And believe me, I know that that long of a drive while in labor is no fun- I've done it. But I'd rather plan for that than to have to go somewhere that I was almost guaranteed a C-section!

Hope that helps!

post #37 of 64

DD was unassisted and this one will be as well. I had thought about getting a midwife last time but i felt very comfortable going alone.  If it came from hospital birth or unassisted i def would go unassisted if i was confident i didnt have any issues that needed a dr's care
 

i agree that you have to be prepared for a UC even if you planned on having a midwife, sometimes they cant get there right away and sometimes the baby comes faster than you think they will

post #38 of 64

Yes I would.  But my husband is not comfortable with it so I haven't.  I have far to many unhealthy emotions attached with assisted birth.  There should be more thought that goes into where and how you want to birth than x study and what statistics show is best (IMHO).  I know for a fact (theory has been tested by me), that hospitals can cause me to have anxiety that affects contractions and makes them worse.  So for ME, I'm not sure a hospital is the safest place because of how it affects my labors.  So this past time I labored at home and went to the hospital at 10cm and just pushed her out when I got there.  That was the best case scenario for me as I was not comfortable with the one homebirth midwife available.  You have to do what's best for you, really nobody's story including mine should weigh in on your decision; I just wanted to post because of the vast majority of "no's" in this thread. 

post #39 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

I am in awe of women who can UC....i have had 2 HB and 1 BC birth and i have been an off the wall loon all three times.  With my second, as the head was crowning, my MW suggested i put my hand down to feel it and i asked her 'what is this thing?"    with my last HB i told everyone to go home "because this just isnt working and we can try it again tomorrow" 

I am just in another universe when i deliver and i know i wouldnt have the presence of mind to be able to catch a baby, react to an emergency, even just make simple changes in position - i REALLY need a support staff! 

ROTFLMAO.gif I got a good laugh out of that. It's so true and the same for me  - I go completely out of my head.

post #40 of 64

Yes, I have had a UC before. I felt prepared, there were minor issues, nothing I couldn't and did handle. I have zero regrets, it was what was right for me, for that birth. 

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