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Homebirthers, would you have done it unassisted? - Page 3

post #41 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

I am in awe of women who can UC....i have had 2 HB and 1 BC birth and i have been an off the wall loon all three times.  With my second, as the head was crowning, my MW suggested i put my hand down to feel it and i asked her 'what is this thing?"    with my last HB i told everyone to go home "because this just isnt working and we can try it again tomorrow" 

I am just in another universe when i deliver and i know i wouldnt have the presence of mind to be able to catch a baby, react to an emergency, even just make simple changes in position - i REALLY need a support staff! 

I almost want to ask what sort of woman - unfriendly state you are in....there are NO DE midwives?  they can be a little tricky to find sometimes.  The idea of going to your sisters house and delivering there sounds lovely to me  - assuming you and your sister get along , you can move in a few days before the big event (hopefully) and stay for a few days afterwards.

Good Luck to you whatever you choose

 

Haha! Yeah, I'm not really in any position to deal with emergencies on my own when I give birth. Both times I've told everyone I changed my mind about having a baby after all. The first time I said to the midwife, "Okay, I know you can't really do this, but can you just reach up in there and PULL her OUT?!?!" The second time I was screaming like a banshee through almost every contraction (it was a horrible precipitous birth). I just don't want to be alone or with no one but my husband. No way, no how. I can barely be responsible for keeping sane when I'm in labor, how can I be responsible for keeping us both safe?

post #42 of 64

I'm working my way toward UC.  My first was a typical hosptial birth.  I am thankful that I was mostly respected, and things didn't get out of hand.  I didn't really push for things that were important to me, though.  My second was at a hospital with a homebirth friendly midwife.  She was awesome, but the hospital stuff was still stupid.  As soon as she left, things got exhausting.  My third was at home with a midwife.  She was pretty hands-off, but still did heart tones checks, and she (and dh) caught dd.  My fourth was mw assisted also, but much more hands-off.  I just had a baby 2wks ago, with the same mw as the fourth, but more hands-off this time.  Pretty much, my pg and delivery were uc.  She was just here as a backup if I wanted her.  The next one I will probably go alone.  My experience has been that the more aware and responsible I need to be, the more I was. 

 

I agree to be aware of your mental space, and to be sure you want and are able to handle the responsibility.  I will say that after this birth, I have been feeling fairly fragile, and just kind of want someone to take over and tell me everything is good.  Mostly, that's because I am super tired with 4 young children, a newborn with belly trouble, and a move on the horizon.  This lack of sleep is tough.  I say all that to encourage you to have good support if you go it alone.  It isn't the pregnancy or birth that concern me, it's the huge need for good healing afterwards, physically, emotionally, mentally. 

 

In short, in your situation, I would lean very heavily toward UC.  In fact, should we have another, I will be in your situation, and intend to do just that.  Another thing for me, though, is that my births are fast.  My last one only gave me about 40 minutes of sure labor before she was born...less than 15 contractions from that point.  Everything up until then was sporadic, and no harder than the bouts of bh I had through my whole pg.  I only suspected it was labor because I checked and was dialating.  I don't think I could get to most hospitals in time.  So, it's really important to be very aware of your body and any slight changes, etc.  Anyway, I think I will suffer through shadow care, though, just so if I decide I have a need to go in, I won't have to deal with the attitude. 

post #43 of 64

I have had 2 planned UC births, but I prefer to  have help. I know I can do it myself, but I think It is so much nicer if I have people there to check heart tones for me, hand me drinks, give That oh-so-great counter-pressure, mark times downs, take pictures, feed & entertain my other kids, etc. "So many jobs to do, so few hands to do them with!" is how  felt with my UC births. I like it when I feel like I have all bases covered. I did UC  births when I couldn't find a midwife to attend me, but do prefer midwifery help. UC births can be as safe or as dangerous as you make them. Living a healthy lifestyle goes a long way to prevent complications, but does not guarantee a safe birth. The more training/experience one has, the more one can safely handle at home. Life threatening emergencies are very rare in those homebirth clients who live a healthy lifestyle, and most (not all) complications develop gradually, in plenty of time to get to a hospital, should the need arise, if you know what to watch for.  Checking fetal heart tones is one thing that gives one early clues to fetal distress. So I would be checking heart tones (if my labor was long enough!) whether or not it was a UC.

post #44 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarleneCPM View Post

Checking fetal heart tones is one thing that gives one early clues to fetal distress. So I would be checking heart tones (if my labor was long enough!) whether or not it was a UC.

Thanks for saying this.  I reread my post, and it sounds pretty cavalier.  I should picked something else besides hr checks to mention.  My mw actually did do those, except for the last one because it was too quick.  So, I totally agree, and also want to encourage the OP to very aware during her pregnancy and labor!

post #45 of 64

Both my kids were born at home, in a non-midwife-friendly state (I had to look for an underground midwife, and couldn't find one until I was 5 months along).  If I had never found one, I totally would have had an unassisted birth, even my first time.  There's no way I'd plan a hospital birth if nothing were wrong with my pregnancy/labor/birth/baby.

post #46 of 64

had a wonderful home birth in january with a fantastic midwife, and now i know i would not have UC. i would either find an experienced midwife underground or go to a hospital. DS was posterior and my MW used homeopathics and positioning and ice on sacrum tricks to turn him, then he came out with the cord around his neck and was limp. She had to massage the fluid out of his lungs. i would have froze in that moment, and would not have been confident handling that myself. i love having that reliance and security. Although in a hospital he probably would've stayed posterior and who knows how bad the pushing stage would have been. and what about afterwards? i'm not sure i could see if i tore or not.

post #47 of 64

No.  I would never UC.  I don't think it's safe.  I have had one homebirth in a non-friendly midwife state.  But she was a professional I had complete confidence in.

post #48 of 64

I wouldn't UC either. I wouldn't feel safe. I had a VBAC at home with a licensed and professional midwife, and it was lovely, but honestly, I'd have done the hospital if they had remotely reasonable VBAC options. I was not going to follow highly restrictive plan that had no medical basis. The hospital midwife and doctor team I saw for half the pregnancy sent me to a home birth midwife, because they said VBAC never works out with that hospital owing to their inappropriate approach that is also against-ACOG's recommendations.   

post #49 of 64
I also wouldn't UC, but I had a pretty difficult home birth. 27 hours of active labour, posterior baby, and a 4.5 hour pushing phase. I really needed my mw's there to encourage me, suggest new positions, reassure me that progress was being made. My mw's had the knowledge and experience to act quickly in transferring me to the hospital by ambulence when my placenta was retained and I started hemorrhaging even after a pitocin shot. They were so calm and level headed, if I was doing it alone I would have panicked and not had my wits about me.
If I had a straight forward and "easy" first birth I might be inclined to do it alone with a subsequent birth. As it is I'm not sure my DH feels comfortable with me having another home birth. I am lucky to live in a province where I can birth in the hospital with my much loved mw though....so I might go that route if I have more children. If I was in your situation I would do what PP's have suggested, labour at home as long as possible, then go in to the hospital for the birth. That's just my opinion though, every woman should do what feels comfortable and safe for them and their family.
post #50 of 64

Yep. I would UC, have done it before and would do it again. 

post #51 of 64
Thread Starter 

I'd just like to update everyone. I did UC! labor was amazing, never once wanted someone besides DH with me, never once thought about an epidural.   I'm so glad I wasn't in the hospital, but next time I do hope I can have a midwife attended delivery , maybe...

I'll be posting my birth story soon on the UC bored. 


Edited by afr2010 - 5/23/13 at 12:08pm
post #52 of 64

Congratulations!  Water not breaking isn't always necessarily a bad thing.  I never had an urge to push with my second.  I hope you find a midwife for next time!

post #53 of 64
That is exciting--congratulations! Before I read your update I was going to say that for me, choosing between UC and hospital would be a very hard decision, but I would be leaning very slightly toward UC--in your place honestly I probably would have gone out of state to find a midwife and camped out at a hotel or something.

I was going to mention, as it seems nobody else brought it up, one of the major factors (aside from safety precautions) in my choice to have a birth team present at both of my births was that they clean everything up, help you take a shower, break down the birthing pool, start the laundry, tuck you into bed, bring you food and water, brew your sitz bath, and make sure you have everything you need before they leave. To me, it was really important for me & baby to be taken care of in that way, and to not have to ask DH to do everything. wink1.gif

But anyway that is my 2 cents. Obviously it worked out wonderfully for you. Welcome to the world little baby! joy.gif
post #54 of 64

As a VBAC, I feel more confident having a CNM on hand. However, if this labor is anything like my last, the baby may be born before she even gets there.

post #55 of 64


Originally Posted by artekah View Post
one of the major factors (aside from safety precautions) in my choice to have a birth team present at both of my births was that they clean everything up, help you take a shower, break down the birthing pool, start the laundry, tuck you into bed, bring you food and water, brew your sitz bath, and make sure you have everything you need before they leave. To me, it was really important for me & baby to be taken care of in that way, and to not have to ask DH to do everything. wink1.gif
 

I love the helping part, and that that they come back to check on you every few days for a bit.  

 
Originally Posted by afr2010 View Post

I'd just like to update everyone. I did UC! labor was amazing, never once wanted someone besides DH with me, never once thought about an epidural.  However pushing and delivery got scary, my water took it's good old time to break and I didn't have the urge to push until 1 1/2 hrs after "pushing stage" started. Baby girl was born covered in blood, I'm thinking partial placenta abruption? the cord was still pulsing though, which was a miracle. And the placenta did come out in one piece about 30 mins after baby but with a ton of blood and small clots too.   I'm so glad I wasn't in the hospital setting but next time I do hope I can have a midwife attended delivery , maybe...

I'll be posting my birth story soon on the UC bored. 

CONGRATS!  That is so wonderful and encouraging to hear.  Enjoy your little one!


Originally Posted by SmtmsAlwys View Post

As a VBAC, I feel more confident having a CNM on hand. However, if this labor is anything like my last, the baby may be born before she even gets there.

Same here, I'm lurking the UC boards just in case :)  Oh who am I kidding I'm just enjoying all the birth boards right now...

post #56 of 64

Wow  congrats, I live in SS Maryland DH in birthing center in 09 but I'm planning a uc for Feb God willing I cant do the hour trips for prenatal and I'm worried about storms in Feb that may prevent me from making it to the birthing center in Annapolis, Hopefully I can find a HB midwife before then all the midwives Ive found so far are not taking anymore client for Feb...keep me in prayer I'm 39 expecting #6 do really wanna uc but I fear  hospital birth more I'm seeing a midwife that works with an Ob but they don't allow home births

post #57 of 64

I had one hospital birth, one unplanned UC (midwife couldn't make it through a blizzard until after baby had arrived) and one midwife supported home birth.

 

If I were to do it again I would want to birth at home with a midwife. My UC was fine but if there had been a problem I would have felt better with someone other than my h there. Problems are statistically rare but not rare enough for me to dismiss the possibility and I would want someone with me. 

 

I also really appreciated the after care from my midwife - someone to run a hot bath and change my sheets while h attended to our older children, someone to assist me in that initial postpartum period. I was extremely tired after each birth and having someone there to help and support during those first few hours was wonderful. I was free to recover and delight in my new baby and h could be focussed on us and the older children while someone else took care of everything else.

post #58 of 64

I wouldn't personally. I do support women who want to have that choice however. My choice is based on my own personal experience. And I try not to make a principle or truth for other women, bsed on my own experience or truths.

 

My main reason for not wanting a UC- 2nd birth- homebirth- pushing was painful, but my body was doing it anyhow, not at all like my 1st birth (natural), where it felt rewarding and good, so I felt something wasn't right,  baby's head came out, cord around her neck, no big deal, although baby was blueberry colored,  but turned out her cord was wrapped REALLY tight, and wouldn't loop over, and baby wasn't coming out any further, to flip out over as Ive seen done with tight cords, so was glad to have MW clamp, cut, and out she came. Turned out, she had a VERY short cord, and the pain I had was probably from the tugging on the placenta. I try not to do the whole "if the midwife wasn't there........" sort of speculations, but Im glad, for those 30 seconds, she was there.   I had several doulas, some of which were trained BAs, they all agreed, it was not a usual scene, but I was glad to have those skilled hands there.  Im not generally one to make choices based on the "small" chance of things happening when it comes to birth, but for me, a great hands off midwife is what I seek for my birth.

post #59 of 64

Everything would have been fine and I'd like to say I'd go unassisted looking back but I wouldn't... I worry too much.

post #60 of 64

I wouldn't.

 

I've had 2 successful homebirths, and the midwife arrived about 30 min before the first birth and 10 min before the second. I don't feel like I need the support of anyone and do like to labor alone, but I also like the reassurance that someone experienced is there just in case. DS2's delivery was so fast it took him awhile to pink up and I was thankful that she was there to tell me it was normal and had the oxygen. I am completely confident in my body's ability to birth unassisted, just *for me* I would like someone there just in case.

 

With DS1 it was looking like we couldn't have a homebirth for awhile (we switched to one at about 31 weeks) and I was contemplating a UC because at the time I was more comfortable with that than a hospital birth. Now that I've had 2 homebirths I would choose a hospital over a UC just because I'm more confident and feel I'd be less likely to be pressured into any interventions I didn't want. I don't have any problems with UC's, I just don't think they're for me.

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