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Queer Conceptions June 2012 - Page 6

post #101 of 190

Hey everyone. Sorry for the MIA-ness - this was a wacky cycle from beginning to end. Unfortunately the end was a bfn - suspected chemical actually. I had spotting on 9dpo which looked suspiciously like implantation - a little more on 11 and 12. Then when I was 16dpo and 2 days late for my period it came in the middle of the night fast and furious - worst cramps I've ever had in my life and passing large clots. Today is cd3 and there are still lots of clots. We are going to take this month off to try and get things back under control - not to mention the next few weeks are incredibly hectic - my birthday, two weddings, pride... so can I please be moved to taking a break? Thanks. I'll still lurk and root you all on. dust.gif

post #102 of 190

MrsPP.. sorry for the BFN :( Hugs 


Carmen.. FX this will be your cycle.. I hope you can find a way to relax and the rest of the TWW flies by for you~


Darth.. Yay for no shipping costs..and i am so sorry for the timing.. I understand about finances.. and the thoughts of taking a break are so frustrating I am sure.. I am going to cross everything for you that August is your month!!!! 


Krista .. I too am crossing everthing for you.. August is right around the corner and its my b day month so I will wish for you ( and Darth) an AUGUST BFP!! .... I also totally think we should attempt another get together.. Pokey and her lovely DP and Me and my DP had dinner together last week and it was great.. And we have already met you and your lovely DP.. so it totally makes sense we try again for a get together.. I have a lovely new backyard I am dying to have a reason to have a BBQ of sorts!!!!


Granite.  sorry that you were diagnosed with PCOS.. I was diagnosed when I was 17 ..Hang in there!


Pokey.. I think your timing sounds great.. FX for this month for you!!!!!


HI everyone I missed...


AFM .. Sometimes I really loathe Doctors and their policies... and the BS that comes with it sometimes... So I called to get my prescrption for the progesterone that I always take whenever AF decides to not come on her own.. Dr H has always been very good at prescribing it.. well the nurse ( who was not someone who usually works in the dept) said I had to take a preg test.. I said No I am not going to waste and hr of my day taking a test we ALL know it is negative as I just took one a month ago when I had the HSG and  there has been no IUI.. so there is no chance.. and I am not going to sit through another negative test if I dont have to.. I was so upset at this point.. Ive never had to just take a preg test to take this medicine.. And my Dr was not in the office today of course.. I really want AF to just show up so I can get this cycle on the move.. Ive already been forced to have this month break.. sigh


In other news our foster licence is almost done..we had our last home visit yesterday and have 2 more classes to go and we are done... It all moved very fast that is for sure... I have mixed feelings sometimes about being ready to foster and then letting that child go home.. but the good outweighs the bad I hope :)

post #103 of 190

To those asking about my post on Clomid from a couple of months back, here you go...


In regards to Clomid. First off, I hope most people know that Clomid should really only be used if you have difficulty ovulating and/or have PCOS. It is not intended for use for someone who regularly ovulates. It is not a drug that stimulates you so you produce more follies. I'm sure there are REs out there that prescribe it anyway, but it's a good thing to keep in mind because it is an ovulation stimulator, not a follie stimulator.


Clomid and age...


"Few realize that the rate of conception with clomiphene therapy is about 1/3 lower than the natural fertility rate for any given age and about 25% lower than when gonadotropin stimulation is used. This problem increases significantly with advancing age .Consider the fact that in women under 35 years, the pregnancy rate with clomiphene treatment is about 10% per cycle , about 5% between 35 and 40 years and 2% after age 40. Here are a few reasons why:


Clomiphene through its "antiestrogen effect" tricks the hypothalamus into thinking that estrogen levels are low. In response, the pituitary gland releases an exaggerated amount of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), which stimulates development of the follicles, ultimately resulting in ovulation. The growing follicles secrete estrogen into the bloodstream, thus closing the feedback circle that the hypothalamus initiated in response to the anti-estrogen properties of Clomiphene. Unfortunately however, at the same time the pituitary also releases large amounts of LH which causes the ovary to produce large amounts of the male hormone testosterone. In high local concentrations, testosterone can compromise egg quality and thus ultimately the chance of having a baby. The older the woman, the greater this adverse effect of clomiphene will be."




**Age for most of these things is always 35. Over 35 is considered Advanced Maternal Age so if you're ever questioning "what's the age cutoff -- it's 35.


*** None of my REs ever told me this information. I found it myself so I'm not surprised for the person that noted their young and hip clinic hadn't mentioned this...

post #104 of 190

darth, wow, you've made some big decisions! A 2-3 year wait is a big change of plans! What does your DP do? We had sun today! Hooray! But DD and I just had a nap and woke up to overcast skies again. Bummer :(


MrsPP: I had been stalking your chart and was sorry to see AF showed up. It does sounds like maybe a chemical. Although you also had a strange start to your cycle with a long period/spotting right? Either way, hopefully a month off gives your body time to balance out. Happy Birthday!


Cananny: Ugh, ridiculous rules. I hate situations like that. I would have been fuming. I hope AF shows up quickly. And how exciting that you may be fostering soon! Are you able to nanny with a foster child in your custody as well?


Thanks for posting the info again, Krista. I have mixed opinions on the article now that I've read it again. I do agree that Clomid is over prescribed though.



Afm: Another big temp jump again today. My chart looks awesome when I look at it as a whole now! It really is that lack of a Peak that is the anomaly. 4DPO today. I've having lots of mild cramping and sore nipples and breasts. Of course, I had exactly the same thing last cycle when I look back at the comments I put in my chart so I know it means nothing.


post #105 of 190

Cananny: augh!!!  The last time we had to deal with the whole "are you SURE you're not pregnant" crap I thought it was hysterical (we were only a couple of months in).  Hopefully you can see the humour in a couple of years.... >_<  ANd yay for finishing your fostering license!!!  That was REALLY fast!  :D  So awesome that kids who need a good, safe space will get you two lucky mamas!!


MrsP: sorry about the chemical pregnant, that blows.  :(  And brutal cramps are just the icing on the cake.  Hope you enjoy your break to regroup!!


Carmen: It was sunny all day in PoMo... Crossing my fingers that this cycle worked and that you don't have to do anymore insems!!  DW doesn't currently have a job, which is part of the problem...  She's halfway through her undergrad in business, so there's LOTS of potential.  She's *very* good at what she does (thanks to 3 years being HR director/Manager for her Girl Guide district!), but unfortunately employers want to see a bunch of letters behind her name.  Augh!  So frustrating!  Of course you know what the job market's like in Vancouver at the moment... :P



post #106 of 190

Carmen, you're totally right that a positive OPK really looks different from those midway ones... Now that I've had a couple, I'm starting to see it! FX for you on this 2ww!

I want to assure you, darth, that I'm only joking in wanting the 2-for-1 baby deal that is a pair of twins... As much as I'd love to hang out with cool NICU nurses such as yourself, heh heh.  I'm also TOTALLY JEALOUS that your clinic offers bulk sperm shipments so you can avoid the fees!  Why doesn't ours do that too?!! Jealousy aside, I'm sorry for the difficult decisions you and your DP are having to make right now.  It sounds like so many things are out of your control, and that is really awful. Hugs.

Hugs also to MrsPP, re: the BFN greensad.gif

Thanks, cananny, for the fellowship! Since I'm guessing you weren't trying to get knocked up when you were 17-years-old, how did you end up learning about your PCOS? Or do people typically find out other ways? Sorry, I'm new to this!

AFM: I'm still trying to process our fertility centre intake this past week, and going over in my mind everything the doctor said.  To be clear, I haven't actually been diagnosed with PCOS, because I don't seem to have any other symptoms aside from the polycystic ovaries (which, oddly enough, are not required for a PCOS diagnosis... I haven't been able to figure out if I've still got the syndrome if that's the only criteria I meet!).  When AF arrives in another couple weeks, I'll be able to get the CD3 bloodwork done that the clinic wants, and apparently my hormone levels from those tests will tell the doc something useful. In the meantime, DP and I are booking our psych evaluation (as per Health Canada rules), and probably going to narrow down some donor choices.


I have a question for you all. Darth touched on it a little, when she said that her DP doesn't like the idea of asking for time off immediately after starting a new job... I totally sympathize! I'm not new at my job, but it's hard for me to leave in the middle of the day.  This past week, for the fertility centre intake, I told them I had a dental appointment, because I figured it would get me less questions than anything more medical.


So, if you wouldn't mind sharing: How do you negotiate all the appointments required by a clinic-based TTC process and your workplace/career?

post #107 of 190

Hello Everyone,

Hope DW and I can join.


A little background on us. We are texas girls I am 38 and DW is 36, started dating in 2001 and married in 2006, we started TTC with KD in 2010 but nothing. We are trying with my belly first. August 2011 we decided to see an RE and so glad we did. HSG was clear but I have deminishing ovarian reserve so injections here I come. October 2011 BFN, May 2012 BFN and we are trying again this month. We were using the REs assitant but decided now we only want to see the RE, I spoke with him on the phone last thursday and he mentioned increasing meds, said he was a little worried about multiples but at t his point we just want to be pregnant and worry about multiples later.

Today is baseline at 3:45 and day 3, Clomid will be days 5-9, Stims from 7-14, trigger and IUI. Excited for increased meds, hopeful they will work this time.


I do have a question for you all. Of course RE will do IUI, normally 36hrs past trigger but we have decided to also try at home. We order ICI and IUI and now I am trying to determine time-wise when to inseminat at home. I was thinking 8-10 hrs past first positive OPK, RE will do 23-24hrs then thinking 36hrs after first positive OPK. Because I am older I worry that I will miss my surge.

If anyone has experience with this, any advise would be helpful. Thank you All!



post #108 of 190
Thread Starter 

MrsPP -- I'm so sorry about the BFN/possible chemical.  I think chemical pregnancy is such a weird term.  They are so frustrating!  You feel like you are there, but you're not.  I hope your break is restful and productive.  We look forward to your return.


Carmen -- I'm so glad in hindsight that your chart looks great!  We are the only folks in the TWW right now.  I really hope at least one of us is successful. 


Cananny  --  That's a huge bummer that AF hasn't shown up yet.  I guess she didn't listen to me this time.  I'm also sorry the nurse gave you a hard time and wanted you to take a pregnancy test.  They did that to me recently too and it sucked a lot.  Did they finally give you the meds?


granite -- I'm sorry you got some worrying news at your appointment.  It sounds a little confusing too.  I think I've seen people mention having polycystic ovaries.  Maybe you can have that without having PCOS.  There seem to be a lot of different factors that go into it.  It seems like your Dr is not worried.  The bloodwork should fill in some gaps too.  I liked your comment about the 2 for 1 twins.  I have often thought that would be nice.  I have twin sisters and lots of twins in my family, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.  We want to have 2 children and twins would mean I would only have to get pregnant once.  At 37, having to do it again a few years older does not sound fun.  But, with twins, my choices for the birth would be more limited.  I wouldn't be able to have a homebirth.

As for your question about missing work for appointments.  That is difficult for me.  My RE's office likes to schedule most appointments in the morning, and I work in investments so it's harder for me to be out of the office while the market is open.  I would prefer to be out in the afternoon.  I am usually vague about where I'm going.  I just say I'll be in later or I need to leave early to run an errand.  I work in a different city than where I live so sometimes I say I need to run an errand near home.  It's usually not a problem.  I hate lying and I'm not very good at it.  I also hate missing work when I feel like I should be there.  For instance, when one of the people I support is out, I should really be in the office.  But it has happened that I had to be out when it was less than ideal.  It happened last week, in fact.  I called in that morning and said I had a headache and was going back to bed for a little while.  I don't want to say I'm going to the doctor because I work with nice people who will worry about me and wonder what's going on.  I haven't told anyone at work that I'm TTC, and I don't want to.  I prefer to keep it private.  I try not to worry about it too much because I have plenty of paid time off, and I'm normally very reliable, so it's ok to miss work once in a while.  I'll tell them where I was when I tell them I'm having a baby.  I hope that time is coming soon.


TexasMommies  --  Welcome.gif  We look forward to getting to know you better!  Good luck with your new plan.  As for the timing question, I would check with your RE regarding the accuracy of OPK's while on your medications.  Some meds could affect the OPK readings.  I believe the trigger shot does.  If you don't get a positive OPK before they do the trigger, you could base your timing on when they give you the shot.  24 and 36 hours after sound very good.  Would those bothe be IUI?  If you do get a positive OPK before your trigger, then doing one ICI earlier also sounds good.  When I have had a trigger without a positive OPK, we have done one IUI about 24 and 36 hours after.  I don't know about Texas, but here we found a midwife who will do the IUI at home for us so we can do it in the evenings when the RE is not open.

post #109 of 190

texasmommies -- WELCOME!  my DP and i were in a similar situation to yours (we're both older, we used KD for over a year with no success and then we moved on to stims with IUIs).  is your RE having you do OPKs in addition to the ultrasounds for monitoring?  i ask because ours told us that OPKs were often not reliable with injectables and that we should trigger based on follicle size (as seen via u/s) and time insemination based on the trigger. the cycle that worked out for us, i triggered at 10:30pm, did a fresh insem with our KD about 21 hours later and did the IUI at about 37 hours post trigger.  whatever you decide, good luck!  


granite --  i have no input on the possible PCOS, but i wanted to tell you to hang in there and not let the unexpected news be too much of a blow.  it sounds like you are in good hands with your doc, and i'm sure that you will get everything sorted.  as they say here, "Courage!"  


and krista,  DP and i both have our fingers sooo tightly crossed for you. 

post #110 of 190

Granite - I'm not much help on the work issue. I took a new job over a year ago beause it would give me more time and flexibility (though less money) for the appointments and the "baby." I took it because the opportunity might not have come up again anytime soon. So now I work from a home office. I do have deadlines, so I just have to hope I don't have essential appointments on days when something's not done.


Sorry, no energy for other personals now.... It's CD 27, still no surge, but the most worrisome thing is my breasts are tender, so even though long cycles are common for me, I could already be approaching AF. Also the test line on the opk is impossibly light, so it certainly doesn't look like I'm headed toward a late surge. Temps seem to show I may have O'd around CD 20, but my thermal shift has been weak and I have some doubts. We shall see soon.


Best to everyone.

post #111 of 190

Does anyone else worry that if you can't get pregnant, you family with think that messed-up hormones made you __________ (insert your queer identity term here)? I sure as hell do, even if it's totally unfounded.

post #112 of 190
Outdoorsy, just popping in to say I really can relate to that concern.

Also, I've heard of some people suggesting that queer women can't get pregnant because we don't "do it right". Even a female friend of ours who identifies as bi and is in a relationship with a woman asked if DW was struggling to get pregnant, and (a few months before conceiving DD) commented that it was because the penis is the best delivery device and we probably wouldn't conceive easily. I was pretty floored by that. What about the considerable number of hetero couples who can't conceive "traditionally" and require other methods?

Some people just don't think before opening their mouths. I hope nobody has hurt your feelings with any similar sentiment.
post #113 of 190

My favorite was a woman here in the Bay Area who's doctor told her it was because as a lesbian, she hadn't been exposed to sperm enough. WTF?? How old school is that?


I too hope no one hurt your feelings but I can understand the concern. It's especially difficult if your family or anyone else uses it as a way to express their discontent/discomfort with you being {insert identify term here.} Just remember, people may use any of this to hide behind what they really want to say/express about your sexual identify. <sigh> As if TTC isn't hard enough already.

post #114 of 190
Outdoorsy- Krista and Desert have said it well but I too hope your question wasn't due to the fact that somebody said something ignorant to you. And don't worry-You'll become pregnant. :) Quick question- Does anyone have experience with transporting frozen sperm with dry ice? How long can it stay frozen? Also are there any tips/tricks to it or is it as basic as one might think?
post #115 of 190

I don't under the comment about "not being exposed to sperm enough".  There seems to be enough teenaged girls who get pregnant on their first go... anyone watch Juno (which was, incidentally, filmed on the next street down from where I grew up!!).  Also, one of my co-workers got married, and was pregnant immediately after... 

post #116 of 190

Hey y'all!


I went to the RE today to make  a plan for my first cycle.  We're going to do another check of my blood work just to make sure nothing has changed.  My cycles are somewhat unreliable, so we're going to wait and see if I cycle.  If I don't, then we will do progesterone mid July to bring on AF, followed by an HSG, then will do 50mg of clomid for 5 days with a monitored cycle and ovidrel trigger shot.  I only have 3 vials, so I will only be doing 1 IUI per cycle.  So, I'm aiming for August-ish.  I'm not sure what status this makes me...


I can't believe that after 3.5 years of floating around this forum, that I am FINALLY here!

post #117 of 190

granite: I have to best job in the universe when it comes to getting time off for medical appointments so it's never been an issue for me. However, I do try and schedule appointments as late in the day as possible so maybe I only have to leave a bit early. I know some clinics aren't the most flexible about appointment times but perhaps booking far enough in advance can help you get the appointment time that is best for you?


Welcome, TexasMommies!


outdoorsy: Wow, your eggs are being stubborn! How frustrating. Are you still considering trying even with such a late O?


And welcome, Jenny! Very exciting that you are here after such a long build up...I hope your stay is short and sweet!


pokey: I hope we both get a bfp but my money is on you getting one this cycle! How are you feeling?



Afm: I'm 7DPO and not feeling anything out of the ordinary. I only have one pregnancy test left in the house and I only buy the fancy digital ones to confirm for DP if I get a positive on the internet cheapie so I will be waiting until 13DPO before I test. I think that's next Sunday.

post #118 of 190

Hey everyone, I'm coming out of lurkdom after a short break. I needed to get away for a bit. I've read through all the old posts but I don't have time to write a personal message to everyone.


Carmen: Good luck! I've got my fingers crossed for you!


Darth: Is there anyway you can combine going to school with trying? It really sucks to give up for such a long time.


Welcome to all the newbies!


Granite: I also had NO symptoms of PCOS until they did the u/s, but I do indeed have it. The prognosis is good; most women with PCOS are able to get pregnant. You might want to consider taking metformin, even if you don't have any symptoms of insulin resistance. I started it and suddenly my cycles normalized. I'm also eating the PCOS diet -no white flour, no white sugar, few sweets at all. I do have to make one comment about your doctor; refusing to inseminate with more than one follie, especially with PCOS, is ridiculous. Unless you are very luck, it will take you much longer to get pregnant that way. The odds of pregnancy with an IUI and one follicle are just slightly more than the natural pregnancy rate. Also, since you are PCOS, if you take ANY OI drugs, you are going to have more than one follicle. I usually had 3 or 4, which according to the studies gives a patient the best chance of pregnancy (with a singleton, no less; >3/4 increases the chance of multiples). My RE never hesitated to insem; in fact, the one month I got pregnant, I had 4 follicles.


AFM: I'm working out a lot and trying not to think about TTC too much. I'm 95%+ sure I ovulated this month, so I'm waiting for AF. My HSG will be in August and then we'll go from there. I finally got the courage to weigh myself and discovered that I'd lost 17 pounds since I started a weight loss routine in October. I only weighed 140 and my ideal weight is 115-125, so I'm in the zone now. I'm going to try and lose three more pounds and call it good!

post #119 of 190
Thread Starter 

Hopeful -- I have picked up from the bank in dry ice before.  They sold us a small styrofoam cooler and they put the dry ice in when we pick up.  They said we could use our own cooler but it should be no larger than a six-pack.  They say it lasts for 24 hours.  It can probably last longer, but it does start to shrink away after 24 hours.  It's fun to play with when you are done.  This time I poured water over it to watch the smoke billow out.  It was fun, but I accidentally destroyed the cooler.  Oops!  I hope we won't need to use it again.


JustAnotherJenny - Welcome.gif /welcome back!  I will add you to waiting to be ready.  Congratulations on getting here after years of hard work in preparation.  Best of luck!


Carmen -- Thanks for the vote of confidence.  I am 6DPO and feeling fine.  I haven't really noticed anything out of the ordinary.  I think the medications can give me symptoms that may not be pregnancy symptoms so I'm trying not to worry about it.  I am taking progesterone again and I got a little dizzy yesterday but it passed.  I'm not sure when I will test because my wife is going out of town tomorrow and she won't be back until the 28th.  AF is due to arrive the next day.  I'll just have to see how it goes.


rs -- I'm so glad to see you back!  It sounds like your break has been very productive, and you are in a healthier place to try again.  That's great!  I have to agree with you on the follie count issue.  I don't have PCOS, but I have more than one good follie a few times and I am not pregnant yet.  The month I did get pregnant, I had 3 or 4 follies.    Having more than 1 doesn't mean more than one will fertilize and continue to develop.  Although, I am older than some of you so that may make a difference too.

post #120 of 190

Pokey- Thanks so much for the info. I need to pick a vial from storage today to take it to the doctor to be inseminated and the RE told me that dry ice would be worse than just letting it thaw and using it even if it was 3-4 hours later. That seems like a long time to let the sperm hang out before insemming but I don't know. My fingers are crossed for you this month!


Mrs PP- So sorry about the BFN.


Darth- That is a crazy change in plans! How are you feeling about the possibility of taking a break for that long?


TexasMommies- Welcome! I think your timing would cover all bases if you could do it three times like that. Good Luck!


RS- I am glad to hear that you have been able to get a (busy) break from TTC. So it sounds like you will be taking a break till August? I hope it continues to go well. 


Carmen- fx for Sunday! It will be here before you know it!


Jenny- Welcome! You are so close to finally inseminating. Will this be your first babe? I'd love to know more about you and your journey here. It sounds like it may have been a long one.


Granite- I hear you on asking for time off. We aren't telling people we are TTC so I feel very sneaky about it all and apparently have had so many "appts" that one of my coworkers even asked if we were trying to get pregnant! Luckily I have an awesome job and my RE is just down the road from my work so I am able to just sneak out a bit early or come in a bit late if I have to. Good luck with it all!


Cannany- Sorry about having to take a pregnancy test. Sometimes doctors do have really awful policies. It's awesome that you are so close to getting your foster license. 


Krista- Thanks for sharing that article on Clomid. I am confused a bit though and I was hoping maybe you could help me figure it out. You mentioned 

 "It is not intended for use for someone who regularly ovulates. It is not a drug that stimulates you so you produce more follies. I'm sure there are REs out there that prescribe it anyway, but it's a good thing to keep in mind because it is an ovulation stimulator, not a follie stimulator" but the article says 

"Ideally the use of clomiphene should be confined to younger women (under 35 years) who have normal “ovarian reserves”... and accordingly are most likely to respond by producing the multiple follicles (more than 3) necessary to override the “antiestrogenic” effects of clomiphene." What I am getting from them is that women under 35 will respond by producing more follicles... is this just in regards to women who are under 35? You may be saying the same thing as the article, I am not sure. I am just confused! dizzy.gif



AFM- We are set to insem tonight so could I be moved to TWW? 

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