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Queer Conceptions June 2012 - Page 3

post #41 of 190
Thread Starter 

Wishin' -- I'm sorry about the BFN.  They probably got your hopes up a little with that 4 and then left you hanging.  hug2.gifWill you try again this month?


Angela -- I'm also sorry about your BFN.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but you tried the Clomid for a boost not necessarily because there was a diagnosis of anything being off, right?  How many times have you tried this go around?  You are older than when you had DD, but you are still plenty young.  Don't get discouraged.  I haven't given up hope on you yet.  Would your doctor try Femara?  That might work better for you than Clomid and it's much less invasive and expensive than injectables.  I hope you and DP are feeling ok.


Carmen and RS -- I'm sorry you are feeling low.  I hope we can lift you up a little.  Take it easy and do whatever you need to do to feel a little better.  But it's ok to feel what you feel.


darth -- Some banks won't buy back vials but they will let you sell them to other women who need them.  It's a more informal process, but say someone who already has a child with that donor wants to buy some more and he is sold out, they might be able to buy yours.  I have heard that my bank, TSBC, did that in the past, but I have never asked about it.  I hope everything goes well as you go through orientation.


outdoorsy -- Yeah on the great results!  You should be moving into the TWW soon, right?  fingersx.gif


wannab -- Fingers crossed for you too!  Just a few more days and you'll know.


PhotoGirl -- Good luck with having your tough talk.  I haven't had to do that but it seems very important to get everything out on the table and make sure everyone is committed to the plan.


AFM -- CD4 here.  I went to acupuncture yesterday, and I am back on the herbs.  I asked my acupuncturist for a massage recommendation.  I would like to fit that in somewhere this month.  I went Saturday to take my pregnancy test.  They wanted me to take a urine test which should have been easier than a blood test, but I didn't drink enough and wait long enough so I had some trouble. I got frustrated and left, and then I started crying.  I felt crappy anyway with the cramps and everything, and I didn't want to take the stupid test in the first place.  My wife talked me down, and that helped a lot.  She said to think of this as the first step in trying this month.  So I went home and drank some water and went back a few hours later.  Luckily, I live 2 blocks from the hospital.  That time it went better.  I got my results and they were negative, of course.  They gave me the Femara prescription and I started that last night.  So far, so good.  We'll see next week how well it works.  I have all my appointments scheduled so now I just have to take it day by day. 

post #42 of 190

Hi everyone.  I'm Chris and my partner and I live in the midwest.  We have been trying to get pregnant for a long while now.  We've been through 5 IUI cycles and one cycle of IVF which landed me in the hospital (not doing that again!).  Thinking about trying one more cycle of IUI and also looking into embryo donation.  I've contacted a few clinics and their wait lists are years long!  Anyone know of some good clinics with large embryo donation programs?  Any other advise is welcome too.

post #43 of 190
Carmen, no I didn't hear about that! Wow... I'll have to go look, their office is in the same building I work in (sort of)... We're at Genesis since we've had a couple of friends use them and have a great experience. And babies.

And whoever asked me about the HSG, it was pretty much fine. The clinic advises ibuprofen 30 minutes before the procedure and to expect some cramping. DW was fine for the most part, she had some strong cramps while we were sitting in the parking lot at Whole Foods, but she was otherwise fine.

Chris: welcome!!! I don't have any advice on embryo donation but I'm wishing you guys the best!!!

Thanks for all the info on vial reselling, I will definitely ask at our orientation as it may potentially affect our donor choice, but it good to know that some banks will do it! We would be storing the vials at the fertility clinic, so it'll be interesting to know if that's considered an acceptable storage facility or not... orngbiggrin.gif

Peace with you all!!
post #44 of 190
Thread Starter 

Chris  Welcome.gif  Hello to some fellow Midwesterners!  I am from Ohio, but I live in California now.  I'm sorry about all the struggles you have had to go through.  I hope things look up soon.  I don't know much about embryo donation, but I saw there is someone named RCR on the IVF thread who is on a waiting list.  You might want to look there.  It's under Fertility then Infertility.

post #45 of 190

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words. Pokey, my doctor has already said that she'd like to move to femera for the next cycle, so we're going to try that. DP and I had a long talk last night, and I realized that I'm NOT actually okay with just having one child, so we're committed to keeping trying, for now at least. rs, thanks for the advice on adoption. Our situation is particularly complicated because my DP is trans. Our fear is that in the process of moving forward with an adoption, we would end up with a court ruling that invalidates our marriage. We should talk to a lawyer about it all. I've just been scared of the costs. One thing I did find though was this agency, which makes grants to people, including LGBT folks, who are trying to adopt. Our friends are going through their grant process now. I'll let you know how it goes.


Also, rs, I'm really sorry that you've been feeling down. I think that this process can be hugely draining emotionally. Do you and your DP have any fun or exciting things planned for the summer?


Pokey, I'm sorry about having to take a pregnancy test. Insult to injury, right? Your acupuncture sounds great. Fingers crossed for a fabulously fertile cycle.


Chris, welcome! I'm so sorry that your IVF ended you up in the hospital. That sounds terrifying. I don't know much about embryo donation, but am interested to hear what you learn. I got a little upset recently when talking to straight friends who had gone through IVF when I discovered that they destroyed their extra embryos afterwards. I mean, I get it, it's their genetic material. It's a hard thing to give away. But when you know so many people who are trying so hard to have babies, it's a little heartbreaking to hear about.


Darth, I'm glad that things are moving forward for you guys! Keep us posted!


Carmen, hoping that everyone in your house is all healed up.


Wanna, how are you holding up? It's getting close now, huh? I hope this is the month for you guys!


AFM, I'm feeling better today. I started spotting, and I'm just glad that the ambiguity is over. I think for me the hardest part of the cycle is when I know deep down that I'm not pregnant, but AF hasn't shown up yet, and so some part of me keeps hoping and wondering. We're headed out to my cousin's wedding in Minneapolis this weekend, and I'm looking forward to drinking lots of champagne and not worrying about it. We're taking this month off, both because our various travel plans and to give ourselves a break, and I'm pretty excited about it.

post #46 of 190

Chris: welcome to the group. Sorry that IVF landed you in the hospital. I take it was probably from OHSS which is why you would consider embryo donation? Embryo donation is still a relatively new concept and is made more difficult by the fact that many women want it, but not enough embryos are being offered up. AND not all clinics want to participate in it because frankly, they make their money from stimulating you and retrieving your eggs. When they take that out of the mix, and they're just transferring embryos into you, their profit goes down. Some clinics have even shut down their embryo donation programs (they can't sell an embryo either so no ability to make money there).


But I digress... Have you thought of a shared risk cycle where you and another woman use an egg donor and you both get embryos from the cycle? It's not quite egg donor and it's not quite embryo adoption. I say this because you might have a better chance of that occurring than through embryo donation. The other challenge with embryo donation is that many women who donate to the program don't want their embryos destroyed for religious purposes. And those same religious women...well, you know how they feel about us lesbos. Since the "parents" of the embryo get to choose who their embryo goes to, it's a bit challenging.


But to answer your question, the largest programs for embryo donation are back East (D.C. area, I think) and possibly LA or the Bay Area here in California.


Hope that helps a little. I wish it were easier and I hope I'm not discouraging you, I just wanted to put it out there. I'm in an infertility support group and there are many women who are trying to make this happen and it's been hard (and they're all straight).



post #47 of 190
Thread Starter 

I feel like we could all use a little encouragement!  Here are some "Hang in There" pictures for you all.







post #48 of 190

Ugh.... it just ate my post again! It did this to me last week when I tried posting too! Darn thing!


Anyway... I don't have time to recreate the entire thing so I just want to say that I am sorry I haven't been posting regularly. I have been following along and thinking good vibes for you all. 


I am sorry to all of you who have gotten BFN this month... I hope this month brings a ton of BFPs so we can have lots of February/March babies!!!


Also, could I be moved to waiting to O? AF showed up this morning after a BFN on CDs 11 and 13. 

post #49 of 190

haha Pokey  smile.gif


I'm sorry about the negative, Hopeful hug2.gif


wehrli: Are you trying this month? I think we're close to being cycle buddies, no?



Afm: CD12 and high on the monitor! We're going to do 3 insems this time and start a bit earlier. KD offered to do it twice a day if it will help. (I haven't mentioned this month how awesome he is....) I think that's overkill so we'll keep to once a day for three times starting tomorrow night. Then hopefully Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon. I'm guessing I'll O on Sunday or Monday. I really, really want this to happen this month.

post #50 of 190

Carmen- good luck!


Pokey- Thanks for the smile. I love cute animals!


AFM- AF is here, so could I please be moved to taking a break? We'll be off this month, traveling and trying to de-stress.:) But, I'll still be here reading along.

post #51 of 190
Carmen, DP is on CD11, and will likely O on CD17... we may or may not try this cycle. we're pretty busy next week and money's kinda tight so if everything lines up at a good time and we have the cash, we are going to go for it otherwise we will wait until next month. I really hope we can be cycle buddies, tho! smile.gif

wave.gif to all. sorry I'm so absent here, life's busy, busy, busy! DP just quit her job so we can spend the summer "unjobing" and being together and happy as a family. but that means busy times vending at music festivals, working ren fairs, and picking up odd jobs. I'm reading along and cheering for you all!

afm, other than what I said above, I got my username changed! wehrli is now justrose13... smile.gif I'm happy for the increased anonymity!
post #52 of 190

Good Morning Everyone!


Pokey: Thanks for the cute pics, they definitely got a few smiles out of me :)


Chris: Welcome!! I don't have any advice for you, sorry! I do not know much about embryo donation. I'm glad you're here though!


Hopeful: I am so so sorry about your BFN. greensad.gif Will you be trying again this cycle? I would be happy if I knew for sure (AF arrival) sooner rather than later in my cycle. Even when I get to 14 DPO and still have to wait about a week holding out a sliver of hope!


Angela: Good luck de-stressing, and enjoy your break!


AFM: Still just waiting.... not feeling pregnant although I know that doesn't mean much. I am at 9DPO according to FF and will start testing tomorrow even though I know that is early too. I did take a test yesterday but am not putting much weight onto the BFN since it was so early. Fingers crossed for tomorrow! (Or this weekend) Thank God for the cheap internet tests!

post #53 of 190

Hi all. Just thought I'd mention for anyone who hasn't seen it that this is awesome. http://www.beautifulcervix.com/cervix-photo-galleries/photos-of-cervix/


It has photos of the cervix and cervical fluid every day of the cycle. Very informative!


AFM - CD 16. Waiting for surge.

post #54 of 190

Thanks to all for the warm welcome!  Its a lovely day here, hope you are enjoying yourselves.


Krista: Thanks for your advice.  I had heard something about a clinic in DC, not sure the name of it, but will investigate further.  My partner is a few years older then me and docs didn't think that it was worth trying to get her eggs.  We may reconsider that.  Will also talk to my clinic about splitting up eggs from a donor.  That's a good idea for cutting costs because it is really expensive!  And on top of my hospital bills  :  (


My partner wants to try one more IUI cycle, since she's known so many couples who have conceived after giving up on IVF.  Will keep you updated on that too.

post #55 of 190
Thread Starter 

Hopeful - I'm so sorry about the BFN.  How many times have you tried?  What's the plan for the future?


Angela - I hope you have lots of fun this month and that your rest is productive and restorative.


wannab - Yep, still early.  Here's hopin' that BFN turns into a BFP!


Carmen and Outdoorsy -- Happy insemming! (very soon anyway)  May the swimmers be swift and make some sticky beans!


justrose -  I have updated your name.  I hope you all have a lovely summer!


AFM - Cycle day 6 here.  I haven't noticed any side effects from the Femara.  I have an ultrasound next Wednesday to see how the follicles are developing.  I hope I have some good juicy ones!  I'm going to yoga tonight, and the wife is going to watch basketball.

post #56 of 190

Question for you fertility gurus out there:


In my last two clomid cycles, I've triggered (based on the ultrasound) earlier than I think I would have naturally ovulated. I didn't do OPKs, so I don't know for sure, but both times were a couple days earlier than I usually ovulate. I asked my doctor about it, and she said that she's fine doing the IUI based on OPKs instead of a trigger shot, but that the studies show identical outcomes either way, and that most women prefer to use the trigger shot, so that they can plan around things. I too would rather base the timing off a trigger shot, because I hate OPKs and the stress associated with them. Do any of you have any thoughts on this? Do you think it really is identical in terms of outcomes? FWIW, we're also switching to Femera for the next cycle, so things may happen a little differently anyway.



post #57 of 190

angela -- i definitely think the trigger is worth using on stimulated cycles.  i actually think i ovulated too late when i was on clomid and just doing OPKs (i had follicles at 20 and 22mm and didn't ovulate until 5 days later).  i found that the trigger took the guess work out of things and helped get the timing down.  just my 2cents.gif

post #58 of 190

Angela - sorry, I don't have any trigger experience. But I hope the switch to Femara makes the difference for you!

post #59 of 190
Hello everyone I have been so quiet this month it seems.. I have enjoyed a month of no medications.. and have really tried to not think of TTC. it was a nice break of sorts I am waiting for AF to show up.. i will start prometrium on Monday if she is not here by then. Dp is a nanny for our friends daughter ( the ones who just got preg again and are now splitting up) well they moved into own apts last week and the baby ( 19 months) is a bit of a wreck.. all the back n forth.. they have yet to set a squedule of who gets her when, one mom has her sleeping in her crib ( that she is used to and they worked for months to get her sleep trained) the other mom is sleeping with her.. Sigh i feel so bad for the kiddo.. she has no stability yet :( she cries when its time to leave DP or myself... but my point is DP has had little patience with this.. and today I reminded her.. this is exactly what our future foster kid may be like... prob worse.. she had to pause and really think about it all..Its all such an unknown territory..... Carmen.. FX for you this cycle!!! 3 insems is awesome.. your KD is great~~~ Angela .. I second No res.. go for the trigger .. def takes the guesswork out of it a bit Pokey.. Grow follies grow!!!!! FX femerra works better for you! wanna.. fx for a BFP!!!! Justrose.. How cool to unjob.. how stressful.. LOL>. i wish for us we could do that.. but living here in the bay area.. it costs a small fortune to live.. Im happy you girls get to do it though~~~ ok sorry to miss others.. thinking of all of you~
post #60 of 190
Thread Starter 

Cananny - I'm sending AF over to your house now that I'm done with her.  It worked before.  Maybe it will work again.  I'm glad you had a restful month off of the drugs and the roller coaster.  I hope you can start a fresh new cycle soon.

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