Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker
FOR ME, I can't go through the VBAC process again emotionally. As much as I loathe saying this, I don't believe my body can do it. Also, to even try a VBAC I would have plan a homebirth and pay for that (3k) as well the hospital (about 2 k) in the event that we transfer (which I feel is likely). That's a lot of money to us and I just can't see more than doubling our out of pocket costs when I don't actually believe my body can birth a baby.
So I will be having a c/s if/when I have another baby.
That all being said, I honestly believe my peace over this choice is from God. It goes against some strong feelings I have birth and yet I am ok with it.
The bolded is a big issue for me as well. The feeling of failure afterwards was intense. As for peace, I don't think I'm there yet. I keep searching for it, but I'm not sure I can find it by looking. A big part of it might just be my intense fear of surgery. I did not like being awake & aware during my second c/s. I felt like I was being eviscerated, and honestly, no matter how much my 'logical' part of my brain kept telling me everything was okay, I think the deeper, animalistic part was freaking out. I guess if that fear wasn't there, I wouldn't feel as much conflict over the whole thing. :/
Originally Posted by lbkw
I just scheduled RCS this morning and I'm kind of upset about it but trying to resolve the feelings. My story is a little different since this was my first "VBAC" pregnancy. My 1st baby was a natural delivery and my 2nd was breech/transverse. I knew the chances of another breech/transverse baby would be higher this time around but have been hoping to have a head-down baby to attempt a VBAC. As I approach 36 weeks, it's looking unlikely that this baby will turn so I did schedule. Dr. suggested that I do it during week 39 so I would not go into labor and need to have a "rushed" section. My last 2 babies have just been 7lb so I put off until 39w4d (a Friday) since that's pretty much the latest I could do. I hate feeling like I've given up without even trying. I hate the wait and see of wondering if baby will turn. It makes me want to cry when I hear about women going into labor and having vaginal deliveries. My c-section baby is 3 1/2 and I definitely don't dwell on her birth, but it's hard to think about having another. Clearly, I can't stay pregnant forever and if c-section is safest birth for me and my baby, than it is what it is.
I am so sorry. (((hugs))). How is everything going so far?
Originally Posted by dancingflower
Oh I feel you!
What brought me to this thread is that my period is, today, three days late. We have been trying to conceive and I am pretty regular so I am sure I am pregnant again.
I had two CSs, the first was scheduled and the second a failed vbac, and a first child dying too (irreparable birth defect). Now I have to choose again.
It is very very very personal, so personal that makes it so difficult. Because I have to be highly aware of myself. I am hoping that I may have better wisdom a little deeper into the pregnancy. The hormonal change in both my pregnancies made me a true "zen master" during it. I felt also very brave so maybe I can work on my fears. So I'll be cooking this decision.
I must confess I am leaning towards a scheduled CS.
I have only two pieces of words to share:Schedule CSs are much easier than emergency ones., surgery and recovery.
The other thing is, wait for your decision to grow on you, but be committed to not let the beaurocratic fight for it to dictate your choice
. I mean, do not weigh in too much if it will be easy or hard to get a professional to do a vba2c. Feel free to feel yourself. Then move the world around you to do it as you wish. In the worst case, if you desire but can't get a VBAC, at least you understood yourself around the issue and you will be better emotionally resolved. Well, that is what I'm trying for myself: put fear appart, put discouraging hospital fight appart, and see what I feel to be best. After I know myself, I'll go out there, get informed and see what happens.
Oh , a foreigner writing without spell check is a pity!
To the first bolded, I experienced the same with my second c/s. I think because he was crashing, I knew it was warranted. Also, because I had btdt, I knew all the 'tricks' to keep me feeling better (pillow to cough, moving a lot from the beginning, requesting stitches rather than those damn staples, etc). Physically, it was easier. Mentally, not so much.
The fight is a big figure in the equation. In an ideal world, if I could find a hospital that would allow me to labor and move around, I would choose that. My biggest issue with homebirth is the death of my firstborn and the near death of my third born. Had I been at home, I'm not sure we would have noticed the crashing as fast as we did there. It would also have taken some time to get to the OR. The pain/issues from c/s are so much less than the pain/issues from losing a child. But I really, really, really do not want another surgery. I know my family well enough to know that the support I'd need after a major surgery is just not there. And then my mind swings round & round again. Argh.
Mentally, pregnancy makes me a bit more anxious, so I feel like I need to make a somewhat solid decision before that happens. That's the rub though. Also, I am stubborn, and other people telling me no (providers) with no solid reasons (ACOG says it's ok, I have no contraindications against VBA2C) the more it makes me want to stick to my decision. I guess if a provider had other reasons to reject me than the fact that I had 2 c/s, it would make sense, to me.
I kinda feel like if I go for a VBA2C and fail, I will not try for any more VBACs. After that, there's nothing concrete on the safety of VBAC to mom/baby, and I feel comfortable going for repeat c/s. I realize now that had the ACOG not recommended VBA2C, I would feel more comfortable/peaceful in going for RCS.
Originally Posted by roadfamily6now
Your births were traumatic because of the people who were managing your births. Labor and Birth does not have to be like that!
Consult with a variety of care providers in your area to see what your options are.
While I am sure you meant this as comforting, it was not. The OB at my second birth (second live birth, my first I birthed at home unexpectedly) was awesome. She didn't pressure me either way, let me be, etc. Had I had her the previous time, I am sure that I would not have had a c/s. I do not have the privilege of picking all of my care providers ahead of time. Birth happens at all times of the day/week, and people get sick, go on vacation, are busy with other clients, etc. I guess I am reacting this way because it seems as if you are saying it's my fault for having shitty births because I chose the wrong people.