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fatigue vs house work

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

Hi Mummas,

 

This is my first babe/first pregnancy and I am full on exhausted. I literally have been sleeping until midday, then moving to the couch to read and nap, before making toast for dinner and climbing back into bed.

I feel terrible because DH is not only working crazy hours, but is tending to me and cleaning and cooking.

 

How do you Mummas get out of bed and do things?

Was thinking of making myself do a few 15 minute sessions of cleaning??

 

Suggestions?

post #2 of 13

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Edited by nhklh - 11/16/13 at 1:18am
post #3 of 13

The fatigue this time has been terrible for me, too. I don't remember it being this bad with my other two pregnancies. I am fine until lunchtime, then I collapse on the couch for at least half-hour. I really make myself get up, even though I feel exhausted, to care for and entertain my toddler, do housework, and cook. I try to let myself lay down while he's napping, but the voice in my head is always saying "get up! do something!".

 

I am also finding it difficult to get any exercise, and I'm gaining weight quicker than before. I think it's also because my milk supply has decreased so much, my body isn't burning the same calories to make milk as it was just two months ago. So I feel like I should go walk/bike more, but I'm so tired. Waaah.

post #4 of 13

It's possible that making yourself get up and do something for 15 minutes will actually make you feel better.  It's also possible it won't - listen to your body, and try at different times of day with different kinds of tasks.  Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can't.  I'm also aware that as a mom of 3 who is working part time, I am NOT resting enough and it's making me feel worse.  

post #5 of 13

decide what is absolutely essential to get done, and don't do anything not on that list. for me, it is essential that dh's work clothes be clean and wrinkle free. so when i run laundry his clothes get folded and the rest of the laundry goes in a pile on the couch to be folded whenever i am able. it is essential that we have dishes to cook and eat on, so a lot of days i wash just enough to eat and the rest stay in the sink. it is essential that dd has diapers, but not that they be cloth, so i've gone from all cloth to using sposies 50-60% of the time because diaper laundry is too much right now. and when i do put laundry in, i will start the washer and then take a break and eat a snack, and then later wash a few dishes and then another rest, and then later move the laundry to the dryer and have another rest/snack etc. it's not the way i'd like to keep my house, but i figure a few more weeks and i'll get that blessed second trimester energy and get things back in order. so in the meantime i'm not killing myself trying to get it done, or feeling bad about it. there's just not a lot to be done other than rest, and seriously prioritize housework, and wait the exhaustion out.

post #6 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadiamond View Post

decide what is absolutely essential to get done, and don't do anything not on that list. for me, it is essential that dh's work clothes be clean and wrinkle free. so when i run laundry his clothes get folded and the rest of the laundry goes in a pile on the couch to be folded whenever i am able. it is essential that we have dishes to cook and eat on, so a lot of days i wash just enough to eat and the rest stay in the sink. it is essential that dd has diapers, but not that they be cloth, so i've gone from all cloth to using sposies 50-60% of the time because diaper laundry is too much right now. and when i do put laundry in, i will start the washer and then take a break and eat a snack, and then later wash a few dishes and then another rest, and then later move the laundry to the dryer and have another rest/snack etc. it's not the way i'd like to keep my house, but i figure a few more weeks and i'll get that blessed second trimester energy and get things back in order. so in the meantime i'm not killing myself trying to get it done, or feeling bad about it. there's just not a lot to be done other than rest, and seriously prioritize housework, and wait the exhaustion out.

yeahthat.gif

Around here I just make sure that everyone is clothed, bathed and fed...those are the biggies for me. When I am feeling a little peppy then I put all the dishes in the dishwasher AND wipe down all the counters otherwise it is just the dishes.

Or if I have a little extra energy then I will scrub a toilet and wipe down a mirror while the kids are in the bath but otherwise I just sit there until they are done bathing.

And I ALWAYS nap when they nap...WITHOUT FAIL. I can't make it through the day if I don't.

My standards of what I will feed my children has really gone down hill but no one is going hungry and they are happy and healthy....good enough for me right now.

 

DH is picking up the slack around here big time but I can tell he is growing weary of it. He is a type A, everything has to be in order kind of guy (which is good for me, it always keeps me on my toes) and I know this house is just killing him right now. I thought I would feel better by now but I don't so we deal with it. It will get better...I think. biggrinbounce.gif

post #7 of 13

Amen to what everyone else has said!  With my first, I would get up and shower...and then get right back in bed.  Nowadays, with more people to care for, I lay down whenever I possibly can.  Sometimes I can nap and sometimes I just have too much on my mind, but I think I still benefit from just being off my feet.  I used to get so annoyed when people would tell me, "rest up while you can, because once that baby comes there will be no rest for you!"  But I'll admit they're right.  

My LO is almost asleep in her crib so instead of running around like and picking up before my DH gets home, I'm going to lay down.  The house isn't nearly as clean as I would like it to be, but it will all get done eventually.  I think pregnancy is the only time I can let go of my I-have-to-be-productive-every-waking-second-attitude.  Maybe because even when I'm laying down, I'm still being productive by building a human.love.gif

The overwhelming fatigue will let up eventually, and then it will be easier to get the house back in order.  For now, let's all take a short break!

post #8 of 13

Lots of great insights here already. We do *need* rest. A clean house is more of a want at this point, lol. To me early pregnancy feels a lot like being a growing teenager. We're growing a freaking person in there. It's hard work!

 

I find that a nap makes the day much easier, whenever that's possible. Even getting one just every other day makes a difference. Meals are way scaled down, both because I'm tired and because I haven't wanted to eat many things. DH and I have had some good conversations around expectations. I've found it really helpful to understand what tasks are most important to him. For example, sweeping the floor every afternoon is a bigger deal to him than laundry since we can do laundry together on the weekend. It's nice to know I'm expending my limited energy on something that will be appreciated.

 

How's your iron level? A little fatigue is normal but low iron can make it a lot worse.

post #9 of 13

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Edited by nhklh - 11/16/13 at 1:17am
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelmumma View Post

 

How do you Mummas get out of bed and do things?

 

Darlin, the only reason I get out of bed, is I am certain my three gorgeous beasties would cannibalize me if I didn't. I do baking and whatnot at whatever point of the day I feel able, I set out plates of veggies and fruit for the kids to nibble on so I don't have to constantly run to the kitchen, plus using a central platter that they grab things from makes a lot less dish work, and DH has been great cooking a lot on the grill so that eliminates a lot of pots and pans. I freeze up bunches of yogurt pops and juice pops which also don't cause a lot of dishes.

 

I think we are all treading water at the moment, I loooove a super clean house (but as you could see from my belly pic) it is not pristine at the moment, and I am okay with it....we are growing people!! Inside!! that is Epic Quest mama, so I just rest assured that when the blessed second trimester gets here I will get back to my usual self. Hang in there travelmumma, we are soooo close to 2nd trimester!

post #11 of 13

Yesterday I cleaned in the kitchen for 15 minutes. That's about as long as I can work at a stretch right now!

 

Like many others, I have other kids to look after. Though I will say this is one of the advantages of being polyamorous - there are 3 other adults around to help out, although we all have varied schedules and sometimes it really is just me. Right now we have only 4 of the 12 kids at home, and while that may not sound like a 'break' to most of you, it is wonderful - 2 are 10 & 11, so they need very little; the 4 & 6 year olds need a lot more attention & help.

 

I have moments of feeling guilty for not doing my share of the workload. Then I remind myself that I am REALLY busy working 24/7 growing another human being. Everyone else gets to take breaks from their 'work' and we don't. Naps & rest are our right!

post #12 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadiamond View Post

decide what is absolutely essential to get done, and don't do anything not on that list. 

 ITA. 

 

This is good advice for when you're home with a newborn, too. 

post #13 of 13

I like the 'do only what is essential mantra'.  Most definitely life has gotten more simple here as well.

 

I try to get those 15-20 minutes in there.  DD did most of the dishes over the weekend thank God.  I did manage to get two loads of clothes washed and put away.  DH and my older kids helped with parts of all of those.  I probably would sleep for a good 3-4 hours extra if I could.  Yesterday afternoon I actually fell asleep on the couch for about 20 minutes when the kids had the tv on.  

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