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June Chit Chat - Page 6

post #101 of 352
Thread Starter 

So glad to hear you had a great day Christina!  I agree with the others... be persistent with the therapist, it usually pays off.  Another way might be to get an appointment with someone available and ask the therapist to call in a referral to someone else better suited.

 

Kirsten, I would do a load with 15 drops of  TTO or a 1/4 cup bleach to kill off anything in your diapers.  Cold rinse/spin, hot wash and cold rinses is a good routine.  I wouldn't change that.

post #102 of 352

Christina you are so not back at square one!  Don't let a long wait time stop you.  My therapist wait was a month out.  I still made the appt. I also like the suggestions about asking that therapist's office for other recommendations.  But please call back and make an appt.  The alternative is that you have no appointment and then in two months you realize you never followed through.  PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT.

 

I want to reiterate that good days are great, but until you get help there will just be another crash coming.  For 3 years I managed the ups and downs and every time I felt like I had a handle on things I thought "this is it! I am better! I don't suck as a mom anymore!"  But inevitably things would tumble down even when circumstantially everything was perfect.  EVEN when I was well-rested, even when my baby was being awesome, even when everything would indicate that I should be having a good day.  We are dealing with hormones here Christina.  Please do not fall under the illusion that you can fix that on your own.  This is not you.  This is NOT because you just can't get it right.  This is an imbalance in your body.  This is something a professional needs to deal with.  Now that I've been in therapy for a couple of months I haven't had those ups and downs.  I have good days and bad days just like anyone else.  They are within a normal range now.  I am more hopeful than ever that I won't bottom out anymore.

 

I'm glad you are taking some herbs.  I still firmly believe you need to be taking more steps toward health.  Call that therapist or another therapist.  Call a crisis line for advice.  Call your midwife for a recommendation!  I also hope that you have had a discussion with your husband about this.  This is really important.  

post #103 of 352

From my recent experience it is really, really frustrating trying to find a therapist!  My dh still doesn't have a long term care dr (he's going to an out-patient clinic now).  I must have called 10 places and got maybe 2 calls back telling me that they didn't accept our insurance.  Once lady told me that there is unprecedented numbers of new patients right now (kind of scary, right?) and that the systems here are flooded.  You really have to keep trying!  Often you can get in with a hospital system and even then it might take up to a month.  This is a horrible system for people who need help!  Horrible!  It just plain wouldn't happen if it were up to my dh.  He absolutely hates being put on hold or getting voicemail after voicemail, he gives up after 1 call.  The system is seriously screwed up, it's sad.

post #104 of 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

From my recent experience it is really, really frustrating trying to find a therapist!  My dh still doesn't have a long term care dr (he's going to an out-patient clinic now).  I must have called 10 places and got maybe 2 calls back telling me that they didn't accept our insurance.  Once lady told me that there is unprecedented numbers of new patients right now (kind of scary, right?) and that the systems here are flooded.  You really have to keep trying!  Often you can get in with a hospital system and even then it might take up to a month.  This is a horrible system for people who need help!  Horrible!  It just plain wouldn't happen if it were up to my dh.  He absolutely hates being put on hold or getting voicemail after voicemail, he gives up after 1 call.  The system is seriously screwed up, it's sad.

 

ITA with this. It is so difficult. Something needs to be fixed with this system! It is even harder with my daughter because she is on her father's health plan, which is Kaiser. So the only place she can be seen is at the Kaiser facilities. I called yesterday to make an appointment, and the earliest they had was July 9. However, I called back just now to check for cancellations, and they were able to get her in on June 18! Yay! But who knows how good the providers will be. I'm just going to try to be hopeful. 

post #105 of 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow View Post

 

ITA with this. It is so difficult. Something needs to be fixed with this system! It is even harder with my daughter because she is on her father's health plan, which is Kaiser. So the only place she can be seen is at the Kaiser facilities. I called yesterday to make an appointment, and the earliest they had was July 9. However, I called back just now to check for cancellations, and they were able to get her in on June 18! Yay! But who knows how good the providers will be. I'm just going to try to be hopeful. 

 

 

Kaiser is required to refer out if you are in need of a specialist and one is not available through a Kaiser facility.  They just dont want you to know that!  Perhaps worth asking for if you need too.

post #106 of 352

Thanks, Ash. Yeah, I asked that just now...  what if we need a specialist that they don't have? They did tell me that I could get coverage for that with an authorization. For example, I noticed they don't have any OTs. So that's good to know. 
 

ETA, my opinion is that Kaiser sucks! I tried to get my ex to put them on a different plan. I was going to just put them on my insurance plan. In the end, I just gave in... sigh. Oh well, hindsight is always 20/20!

post #107 of 352

Another vote that Kaiser sucks :-)

Anyway, the way I did it was called my husband's benefits provider.  He has EAP which is an Employee Assistance Program.  They handle short-term counseling needs (it is free for 6 sessions, please look into if your DH has this) and then it switches back to your original insurance, copay, etc.  They assessed me over the phone for immediate need and then the lady looked in the system for therapists who are covered under our insurance.  SHE did ALL the work.  This was super helpful.  It took about 20 minutes but I didn't have to do anything.  I'd highly recommend you call your benefits provider and ask them to help find you a therapist. 

 

If you are set on finding one who is sensitive to the way you parent perhaps you can call LLL and ask for recommendations?  But it is going to take longer to find one that has an opening AND who is covered under your insurance when you are particular about if they hold certain values.  So please be patient! 

post #108 of 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

 

If you are set on finding one who is sensitive to the way you parent perhaps you can call LLL and ask for recommendations?  But it is going to take longer to find one that has an opening AND who is covered under your insurance when you are particular about if they hold certain values.  So please be patient! 

 

Personally, I don't think that finding an "AP friendly" therapist is that important. It is not a therapist's job to look at your life and tell you what is wrong and what to do. Now, if you go in and say, "I do x, y, and z and hate every minute, but I feel like that is what I have to do," the therapist might help you explore why you feel that way. If it seems like you might want to change the way you do things, they might help you figure that out. But if I went to therapy and said I was tired because I don't get enough sleep due to nursing and the person told me to wean, I'd find a new therapist. That is not their job! Also, I've found that lots of female therapists are very natural-minded, aging hippy-ish (Lol!), so they probably agree with attachment stuff! But yeah, it's kinda their job not to judge, but to follow your lead. 

post #109 of 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow View Post

 

Personally, I don't think that finding an "AP friendly" therapist is that important. It is not a therapist's job to look at your life and tell you what is wrong and what to do. Now, if you go in and say, "I do x, y, and z and hate every minute, but I feel like that is what I have to do," the therapist might help you explore why you feel that way. If it seems like you might want to change the way you do things, they might help you figure that out. But if I went to therapy and said I was tired because I don't get enough sleep due to nursing and the person told me to wean, I'd find a new therapist. That is not their job! Also, I've found that lots of female therapists are very natural-minded, aging hippy-ish (Lol!), so they probably agree with attachment stuff! But yeah, it's kinda their job not to judge, but to follow your lead. 

 

This, times ten.  Really true. 
 

post #110 of 352

<3 The Killing.

post #111 of 352

Has anyone taken their baby swimming in a public pool?  I have to admit, I did it without thinking twice...and Im super glad I did, because Bettie rarely loves something- but she LOVES to swim.  Im talking laughing cooing smiling swim.  And laughing and smiling are hard to come by from her!

post #112 of 352

Nope, haven't taken Sora swimming yet. But I think she'll be as giddy as Bettie! She sure loves her baths. I'm glad Bettie had such a great time! orngbiggrin.gif

 

So... I didn't think the baby's bedtimes could get worse but somehow she has managed to throw me another curveball. She is turning hyperactive a whole hour before bed, and it's keeping her up a half hour to an hour later than she used to go to bed. We're talking bouncing up and down nonstop, flailing, kicking, anything and everything super hyperactive. She even shakes her head repetitively. I don't like that last one. It bothers me. It is so tiring handling her at the end of the day when she's MOST active. Anybody else's baby get a crazy burst of energy when super tired? I've resorted to lying on the bed with her sitting up next to me while I rest and she goes to town bouncing-bouncing-bouncing. I figure all she can do is tire herself out...

 

I had a failed attempt at bringing Sora out to dinner at a restaurant with my parents tonight. It was bad. I ended up giving up just 5 minutes in and leaving with her. I was bummed. But I was more upset with myself that in the midst of trying to look at a menu and hold her squirming and fussing, I wasn't paying attention to what was in her hands and she managed to eat a pretty big chunk of one of those cardboard-like coasters. Ugh. It had a bunch of dyes on it and everything. Should I be worried? Here I am constantly trying to prevent Sora from eating anything that's not specifically made and chosen by me, and then she goes and eats something on her own...

post #113 of 352
Thread Starter 

I wouldn't worry Joanie.  These things happen.

post #114 of 352

Well, the incident made me worry more about my ability to keep a constant eye on her when she becomes more mobile. crap.gif I am terrified I'll get distracted and she'll hurt herself in a split second. How in the world do you babyproof a whole house? Our house is so not baby-friendly. I'm so overwhelmed with the idea of it that I haven't been able to get myself to start. Ugh. My DH said we should get a pen/gate for Sora in the living room so she can't get loose everywhere, if I'm afraid of something happening to her. I don't know, that seems too restrictive. *sigh* No idea why baby-proofing stresses me out so much.

post #115 of 352

We "babyproof" as we go.  Things that are obvious dangers that we notice as the baby becomes more mobile are the things we focus on and fix.  But our older son, at least, became quickly bored with many household items after checking them out a few times.  We redirect a lot too.  We don't like to restrict their ability to curiously explore.  Obviously we try to keep cords, sharp items, etc out of their reach.  We don't have chemicals in the house, so that isn't an issue.  Otherwise we're around them all the time and can watch to be sure they aren't getting into something they shouldn't.  Mostly it's gross stuff, like playing with the vacuum or heading for the toilet.  Yuck.  So far, our boys aren't too into danger and destruction *knocks on wood*.  They will get hurt, though, and it's usually just toppling over or falling/tripping.  That can't always be avoided, and after a few head bumps and bruises we figure it's just part of independence and mobility.  Of course I never want my boys to get hurt but.... it happens. redface.gif

 

Dylan's first ingested "food" was... paper.  It has happened a few times.  Unfortunately his older brother leaves art work and paper on the floor and Dylan immediately gobbles it up.  We've taken many a soggy paper out of his hands/mouth.  Le sigh.  

post #116 of 352

I keep wanting to take Éowyn swimming but the thought of taking all three girls to a pool intimidates me.  Éowyn gets hyper as she gets tired too, it's very tiring.  The very first thing she ate was a big mouthful of dirt, can't be any worse than a coaster. shrug.gif  I'm having to babyproof for Éowyn like I never had to with my other two, it seems like everyday I find something new I didn't know she could get into.

post #117 of 352
Oh joanne, Bettie is super sensitive to all things...and she ate half a Red Robin kids menu the other day and was fine.

Ok ok...I gave her the menu to keep her quiet while I ate....haha. after my son eating bugs and dirt, and my daughter eating another kids actual crap (they were babies, in a play pen, not asleep like we thought they were), I know first hand that things just happen. And be prepared, because it will just happen again. She will be fine! And so will you wink1.gif
post #118 of 352

Oren's first food was a cracker piece that big sister fed to him while I was peeing. He actually chewed and ate most of it, so this was how I figured he was ready for solids. 

 

With DD we just babyproofed as we went as well, but that means constant vigilance for a little while. And once she could move, restraining her ANYWHERE was a major scream-fest (high-chair, stroller, crib included.) And she was a climber, and could make it up on the kitchen chair, then onto the table in the time it took me to take a dish to the kitchen sink, four feet away. And this before she could walk! 

 

And I know it's stressful to think of, but I really would recommend looking at how you can change your home into being more baby-friendly, toddler-friendly and kid-friendly. Create a YES environment - one where you don't have to be always saying no, where she can be free to be curious and explore. This will make things easier on you as well, because you won't have to be constantly watching her, and redirecting her non-stop (creating a yes environment - straight out of Raising Your Spirited Child). As the parent of a spirited toddler, it was imperative that I removed as many tantrum-triggers as I could. We had an attic den that DD never went up to, so that became the adult space. And lots of the stuff that I just didn't want to get in conflict over just went up there. Of course, we didn't have an empty, padded room, so there was still some redirection involved (like the table, and the art and trinkets on our walls stayed, but boy was she mad when she wanted them but I wouldn't let her play with them) but I did give away my poisonous plants, we moved furniture, lights and appliances around, we made a sewing nook into a play nook etc.  

 

But she was the kind of kid that got into EVERYTHING, and the more you tried to redirect her, the more she wanted to do what you didn't want her to do. She would not be distracted, not even as a baby. Not all kids are like that, my niece just didn't seem to notice the stuff that M would dump or knock over, and when my sister would say "No" she would listen.  I think O will be more like that - I can already do the old switcheroo with him - rattle a toy, then take away the forbidden item, and he seems to forget all about it. Temperament!

post #119 of 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayPea View Post

 

And I know it's stressful to think of, but I really would recommend looking at how you can change your home into being more baby-friendly, toddler-friendly and kid-friendly. Create a YES environment - one where you don't have to be always saying no, where she can be free to be curious and explore. This will make things easier on you as well, because you won't have to be constantly watching her, and redirecting her non-stop (creating a yes environment - straight out of Raising Your Spirited Child). As the parent of a spirited toddler, it was imperative that I removed as many tantrum-triggers as I could. We had an attic den that DD never went up to, so that became the adult space. And lots of the stuff that I just didn't want to get in conflict over just went up there. Of course, we didn't have an empty, padded room, so there was still some redirection involved (like the table, and the art and trinkets on our walls stayed, but boy was she mad when she wanted them but I wouldn't let her play with them) but I did give away my poisonous plants, we moved furniture, lights and appliances around, we made a sewing nook into a play nook etc.  

 

yeahthat.gif and to what J said. I baby proofed very little with my dds. I think I had one cabinet (with cleaning supplies) and one drawer (with medicines) locked. Everything else was open for exploration. I had to adjust what I kept at a lower level. For example, in the kitchen I put my pots and pans and tupperware in the bottom cabinets. Then the girls could pull them all out and play with them while I cooked. No safety issue! Rather than baby proofing, I just made the environment baby safe. I also kept a close watch. They turned out just fine. 

 

 

Okay, each had a concussion once... but none of those occurred at home!! Also, there was an incident involving a jar of Vaseline. And one time dd1 got the lube out of my nightstand drawer and poured it all over the vinyl bathroom floor. But, other than that, things were good. 

post #120 of 352
Lol, I so don't consider a restaurant trip to be a failure just because my kid eats a coaster. If they have highchairs, set her in it and give her whatever finger foods she likes before looking at the menu (menu? Shoot, just ask the server what's good and what's GF/DF, the biggest thing about eating out with kids is to leave a decent tip), try going earlier so they're less busy, bring toys and snacks for the baby. If you worry, bring that shopping cart cover for the highchairs because they're gross.

Hyper before bed, heck yeah! I just laugh along with him. It's his happiest time if day.

Swimming, Shay is not impressed.

Baby proofing, we have a gate so far. I've never been a huge baby proofer. When we moved to this house the big kids were 2 and 5 and some neighbor kids came over to play and I realized that most kids aren't around renovating all the time. I warned them, "if it looks sharp it probably is."

And I fish bugs, mud, paper, beads, rocks and once poop out of Shay's mouth.

First fever last night. 2 hours sleep. Kept sitting up and crawling around in his sleep. Fell off the bed (it's on the floor, so 8 inches) at the start of the night. Then this morning Soren pooped out the side of his diaper all over Shay, the couch and me. PARTY!
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