Yesterday, almost immediately as DSS's friends and brothers began posting photos and videos of his birthday party on Facebook - before the party was even over - his mother started blowing up his phone and FB page, telling him how upset she is with his dad, how DSS needs to intervene and help her and how critical it was that he stop everything and contact her immediately.
She may as well have said, "I can't stand seeing you smiling and having fun with these other people and I'm going to explode if you don't turn all your attention to me and focus on how upset we both are, about being apart!"
A little bit of me feels sorry for her that she is so miserable and seems to feel her only salvation lies in maintaining a "soul-mate" relationship with a typical, self-centered 13-year-old boy; that it threatens her to see that he can be happy away from her and how many meaningful relationships he has, with people besides her (including the 14-year-old girl he currently considers his soul mate...). He wishes his mom weren't upset, but he seems to be feeling less and less responsible for fixing it. He was frank with DH and me that he was consciously avoiding responding to her yesterday, after the party. He continued having a great time with his friends and never once seemed upset, all night.
Mostly, I think Good for him! We asked Mom to come for the party. She could have, but chose not to. I know she has issues. But she's not insane. She could consider DSS's feelings, separate from her own. Maybe seeing him have fun, even when she chose not to be part of it, will make her start.