Friend's DD pooping on my child's bed, wwyd?

[Tuckoo]

Hi,

My DD is 7 years old and she is friends with a boy from her school. Yesterday she invited this boy over to play and his sister (6 y.o.) came along too. They've all played together before and they all get along fine.

They played in the garden, ran under the sprinklers and had a lot of fun. The girl asked me to take her to the bathroom, which I did, but she went in alone and I waited for her at the door.

DD and the girl showered afterwards (which they've also done before at this girl's house, after swimming) and then they chose some clothes to get "dressed up".

While they were getting dressed I stayed with the boy who was eating some fruit in the kitchen. DD came downstairs and the other girl took a little longer. When she joined us, the three of them started playing something else. When it was time for me to give them a ride home, I started picking up their stuff and found poo on my daughter's bed. I was shocked as we have no pets and this had never happened. DD and the boy were surprised and grossed out but the little girl wasn't. She kind of laughed and said it must have been the cat... (we have no pets).

I believe it was her because the boy didn't spend any time alone in dd's bedroom and dd's never ever done anything like this...

I'm fairly good friends with the mom and, if this were my child, I'd definitely want to know what was going on. But since I didn't actually see it, I'm not sure whether I should tell her about it. I have no idea how she'd react.

Would you tell her? If so, how would you say it so it does not sound awful? 

Thanks!

[tbone_kneegrabber]

It was mostly likely an accident and she tried to cover it up by saying "it was the cat".  Ds is almost 5 and twice this week has had poop "misses" on the way to the bathroom.  One was at our friend's house.  The dad (who was watching the kids) didn't see it happen, but basically said this, "everything went well, until ds had an accident and the kids tried to clean it up by themselves.  It looks like he was going to bathroom and maybe didn't quite make it, although there was also poop in the toilet.  Some got on the floor and his pants.  The kids tried to clean it up with towels, but really it just made it worse!  I told them they should have asked for help."

I doubt it was a malicious pooping on the bed, probably she had poop in her underwear or some came out before she got to the bathroom and then when she was changing clothes it ended up on your dd's bed.

If you are friendly with the mom I would just mention it, but in a "hmm this happened, just wanted to let you know. No big deal" kinda way, because I think it was probably an accident and should be treated as such.

[~cassie~]

I agree with PP, most likely she had an accident and tried to cover it up.  My 7 yr old occasionally still has accidents.  I would just mention it in an offhand way since really, it isn't a big deal.  It just happened.

[Tuckoo]

Ok, I hadn't thought of that possibility. They took their clothes off in the garden when they got soaked, then they showered and got dressed with dry clothes, so I believe this happened while she was getting dressed or sometime after that. It did not seem like she was on her way to the bathroom because it was a (sorry tmi) neat pile right in the middle of the bed... But it remains a possibility, so I think this makes me feel less anxious about telling the mom. I only kept thinking that she'd somehow done in on purpose or like a joke or I don't know.

Thanks for your perspective!

[onyxravnos]

I agree it was probably an accident... now if it happens again... well that's another story.

[chaimom]

I think I would go ahead and mention it to the mom.  "Also, just so you know, there was a weird incident where I believe xx pooped on my dd's bed.  I didn't see it, but she was alone in there and then we found it.  It was probably an accident, but I only bring this up in case there's some kind of an issue."

The reason I suggest telling the mom is because I would want to know if something weird like that happened during a playdate. I have a 6 yo dd and I can't imagine an incident where 1- she asked another mom to take her to the bathroom in the house (independent for years) or 2- she pooped on purpose or accidentally on someone's bed-- and left it there.  Too weird.

[JudiAU]

Yes, I would mention that you think she probably had an accident. It doesn't like it was malicious.