For the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy, ds was excited about the coming baby. And now, starting this week, he's talking fairly evil thoughts about not wanting me to have a baby, and about various ways that would 'hurt' a new baby.
He's 3.5, so I'm trying not to put too much meaning into it, but it's hurtful to hear and really breaks my heart. He's old enough that I think he's figured out that he'll not be my only child...and that he'll have to share me and essentially lose a lot of the time and attention he's always had from dh and I. We never wanted to have another child in order to give him a sibling...I really dislike that frame of thought because I do think an only child has advantages that a family with multiple children simply can't provide. But at the same time, dh and I have wanted to experience a second child and made the decision to add to our family after giving ds a few years of quality time with just us. What I mean by all that, is that I don't expect him to like this baby from the get-go. I do think he knows what's up, and I think it's only fair to not be thrilled about it. lol But, the fact that he's thinking of 'hurting' the baby is concerning to me.
And by hurting the baby, it's not anything definite...it's more like, he's telling me something and then spins this crazy story about how he'll send naked pigs (we just read a book about naked pigs. lol) into my belly. I'll laugh about that and say something like, That's silly. And he'll embellish the story by adding that the pigs are going into my belly in order to hurt the baby. To which I'm not sure how to respond. I don't want to push this baby on him...and I think it's GOOD to get this out in the open now rather than when I have a little one in arms, but idk. Anyone have advice? Or experiencing something similar?
Just some background, we've been reading lots of picture books about siblings and babies and how babies develop, but I always read one of those books (which he likes) and follow it up with a normal picture book that has nothing to do with babies. We do talk about the baby a lot, and he likes to talk about how he can teach the baby something or show it something or maybe ways he can help, but I make sure not to bring this stuff up myself. If he and I are talking about the baby it's because he's brought it up himself. I'm knitting for the baby, and he's excited about that...along with anytime I buy something for the baby. So, essentially he's happy about it 90% of the time and says something totally heartbreaking and a bit 'evil' (lol) the other 10% of the time we talk about it. But still...