My little angel is 3 months old today and has refused to take my breast for about a month now. She had quite severe thrush at around 3 weeks after I was on antibiotics and it affected her whole body. After getting that sorted out, the next thing was that she got a shot while suckling which made her starting to fuss even more. Feeding started to become strained and I was put on yet another stronger course of antibiotics. I did not want her in all that pain and discomfort of pain, diarrhoea and a very sore bottom so I gave her a bottle after that. She was about 2 months old.
I am sure that she associates pain with being on my breast and is now no only rejecting my nipple, but also anything remotely shaped the same. I had to change the bottles I use since she will not stop screaming and will refuse to eat if I bring anything but her preferred nipple near her.
I do not want feeding to be wrought with anxiety and a struggle. If I just let her feed from her favourite bottles, I have a smiley, happy, relaxed baby who cuddles and laughs all day long (except when there is interesting things going on and she is tired). If we have a difficult feed, trying to even get her to feed from another bottle with a round teat, I have a child who kicks, screams, a writhing child trying her best not to come near me. This at 3 months old is not just a temper and I want my daughter above all to trust that I will never intentionally harm or hurt her. I have tried all the skin to skin I could manage, I tried feeding her in her sleep or half asleep, carrying her, bathing with her, sleeping with her, all positions that exists, I have tried coaxing her and all to no avail. I would love to breastfeed but I cannot deal with my child acting as if she is afraid of me even if I just want to hold her.
I feel that the very painful shot in her thigh while I was told to nurse her, was the last nail in the coffin of my breastfeeding attempts since she never had trouble latching or drinking before that although she was in pain from the thrush for a while. So if anybody reads this, rather nurse your baby right after a shot as comfort. Don't be the one holding her to be hurt and don't let anybody intrude on the safety that your breast should be offering. It is the one thing that I would never have done if I knew what the consequences was going to be.