When my step-daughter got married and had her first kid, they asked me what I wanted to be called. I repeated my name, Dan. That is what she by choice had always called me and we were both fine with that. Her husband said how about Gran Dan, I said no, I would prefer my name and he brushed this off, even after I mentioned that again I would prefer my own name. There is more to the story of my dislike for the name, but that was unknown to them and irrelevant except for that I just didn't like it. It made me even like it less that they he brushed off my objection. We at the time lived far away and I thought it was of little consequence, so I foolishly let it go. As fate would have it we moved to the same town as they were, and I saw them more and more. As my fondness for them grew, so did my dislike for the name. I brought it up again to my step daughter and talked about changing it. In the end, again, I just let it go, I really wanted to try to be bigger than that.
While having some "spirited" words with my wife one day, my step daughter and her now two kids show up. Of course, saying the name repeatedly, this should have been a happy moment for us to share, but instead it was the very breaking point. I asked them to not call me that anymore, that really I would rather be called Dan. Amazingly, one of them instantly did call me Dan and I gave him a hug. Unfortunately, one is a bit "willfull" and chose to ignore me and actually repeatedly overuse the name. I came up with the brilliant and mature plan of saying, "If you don't call me by my name then, I guess I'm not answering you." I admitted and admit that this was a poor way to do this and that I was thinking more about my own emotions, but this one singular action, along with the fact that I won't be called that anymore has all but ended the relationship with these kids and severely strained the one with their mom (my step daughter). This may be typical dysfuntion to some, but this was a girl that I thought I had a strong relationship with and was regrowing that again after about a decade of living far apart. Never mind the gran(d), just don't forget the step, I guess.