Support: Older babies who still wake up frequently at night

[escher]

I would love to hear from other people who are accepting frequent night wakings from their older babies.

In my day to day life it seems like almost everyone I know with a baby beyond the newborn stage either has a baby who naturally started sleeping through the night on their own (lucky parents!) or they have used Ferber or other CIO sleep-training methods. Our seven month old still nurses every few hours at night, and at least for now we're just accepting that this seems to be what he needs.

Anyone else in a similar situation? If so, how is it going for you?

[TiredX2]

I can give BTDT support but I'm not living it right now.

With DD she was still up every 1-2 hours during the night until she was two.  At that point we partially night weaned (one 4-5 hour stretch a night).  She didn't go *all* the way through the night until she was over 3, but I was fine with that--- I just needed that longer stretch while I was pregnant.

With DS we didn't night wean and he didn't go the 4-5 hour stretch until around 4.5.  It was great, though, because it meant that he did it on his own time and I was great with that.

Not really encouraging, lol.  That said, there are a LOT of people who notice that their kids sleep consistently through the night right after two (when they're done teething).  And while 7 months seems very old to some people to not sleep through the night, you may still have a baby who sleeps through at 10, 11, 12 months. 

Good luck!

[AnnieA]

Ava eats ALL.NIGHT.LONG. Seriously. She doesn't eat well for anyone other than me so in the evenings when I'm at work, she barely takes the recommended 8 oz. while I'm gone. I exclusively pump so I'm so used to feeding her in my sleep, I only wake up when the bottle is empty and I need to go get more milk. Her crib is sidecarred to my side of the bed so I just reach over and feed her. I still have to get up in the middle of the night to pump so I don't sleep through but I can't drop that pumping session because it would kill my supply. I've tried. I do see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. She's sleeping from about 5ish-8ish in the morning w/out eating. Baby steps!
 

[LittleBagOfBones]

My DD is 7mos and still wakes up every 2 hours to eat.  Except on rare occasions like last night, where she woke up every hour .  Like you, I'm just accepting that this is what she needs right now. She goes to daycare and I struggle to pump what she needs during the day, so I don't want to shift any of those night feeds to daytime right now.   IDK...I don't feel like it's really that bad.  She's just a baby! 

[artekah]

Um, yeah! My 10 month old nurses on average every 2 hours all night. Thank god for cosleeping! It's totally normal. My 2 1/2 year old only recently started sleeping through the night, and he still usually wakes at least once in the night.

[skycheattraffic]

I have a 14 month old who is up 2 to 3 times a night , working out to 3 to 4 hour stretches roughly. There are days that are much much worse where I basically stay in her room in the recliner and she is on and off the breast all night. I'm fine with it, just don't want to get pregnant with number two until she's sleeping much better. Everyone I know is formula feeding and sleep training. (we also started ECing and now I really feel like an oddball lol) it's nice to know that I'm not the only one getting broken sleep.

[purplerose]

my 8 month old wakes every 45-90 minutes, she for some reason can't sleep through her light sleep phases of a cycle and will only suck to fall back asleep. of course, she won't take a pacifier AND for some reason she just isn't into dh right now. my 3rd daughter was the same way and slept all night at about 16 months and has ever since, excepting stomach viruses and a couple of scary dreams. she is 9 yrs now.

i honestly can't stand it, i am miserable from lack of sleep. between her, dh snoring, and my inability to fall asleep quickly, i feel like i am falling apart. thank goodness i cosleep and breastfeed! what if i had to get up over and over all night?

[kanani]

yes! thank you for this. my dd is 10mo and she gets up every 90min or so to nurse. she also likes to do the 'perma-latch' on many nights (which really gets frustrating). she is such a terrible sleeper and i just don't know what to do except make myself available to her as needed -- otherwise she just roots around panicking. everyone we know has babies that sleep through or only wake up a couple of times. it always makes me wonder if i should be doing something to change things... its nice to know there are others out there who are going with it.

[escher]

It's good to know we're not alone!

Does anyone have a short but friendly response that you use when people ask if your baby is sleeping through the night? I get asked that a lot. "No" is obviously the easiest and most accurate answer, but in my experience that tends to encourage the questioner to give me sleep advice that I don't really want. "He's sleeping fine" often works for me, but on days when I'm especially tired that doesn't feel very genuine. Other ideas?

[PatchChild]

DS was another slow to sleep kid.  To be honest, he just hated sleep, too much to do!

When people asked, I tended to reply something along the lines of "Nights are ok."  For people who were just making conversation, it was an ok response.  For people who actually wanted to know, they could ask follow-up or not.

[Gracecody]

Mine is 8 mos old and sleeping HORRIBLY lately. I think it's a combo of being on the verge of crawling, and having some issues with solids.

I have to regain my sanity so I am going to stop the solids for now and see if that helps. Anyway, it's normal for him to still wake a few times in

the night even when he is not having any issues. He has trouble settling to sleep at the beginning of the night but then will do a longer stretch from

around midnight to sunup. Then he's restless again til we get up around 8-9am. Last night I went to bed at 11:30 and couldn't fall asleep, he woke

up at midnight and I didn't get him back to sleep for THREE HOURS. He almost never does that and it was horrible, took me right to my edge. I ended

up getting six hours of broken sleep and feel like total crap today. I am not a napper either esp with two older kids to care for.

When and if it comes up in conversation I just say he doesn't, he's so busy during the day it's hard for him to shut his brain off. And that we're doing fine.

With the exception of the past few days we are doing okay, I have adjusted pretty well to functioning on really broken sleep. Am looking forward to

sleeping better and better as he gets older though. My other two didn't sleep through til I night weaned them at age 18 mos-2 yrs and I plan to do the

same with my current baby.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by escher 

It's good to know we're not alone!
Does anyone have a short but friendly response that you use when people ask if your baby is sleeping through the night? I get asked that a lot. "No" is obviously the easiest and most accurate answer, but in my experience that tends to encourage the questioner to give me sleep advice that I don't really want. "He's sleeping fine" often works for me, but on days when I'm especially tired that doesn't feel very genuine. Other ideas?

I usually look at them like they've grown two heads, to imply that a baby sleeping through the night is the most ridiculous question to be posed ever. Oh but you asked for a friendly response...

[MrsGregory]

Hi escher! 

Mine is 8 months now, and has slept about 6 hours at a clip since birth (WAIT!  Don't throw things at me yet!) but has never slept well without me, would frequently only sleep doing the perma-latch thing mentioned, and for the other 3-6 hours we're in the bed, she wakes every 30-90 minutes to nurse and snuggle.  And I am starting to get noises from folks who seem to think she should be night weaned???  Have they met my little dumpling, who screams as if she is being torn limb from limb when she is wrested from my arms by her own Papa?

The perma-latch thing was the most nuts inducing, so I started popping her off and letting her complain, snuggled up against me, for no more than 3 minutes or so.  There is a real difference between her complaining and her crying now, so I feel confident she's OK, just annoyed.  Some nights she won't accept this, though, and then I just wind up with chapped nipples.

She's 8 months old!!  I get 6 hours, usually!  I feel super-lucky.  I think the idea that she should be going all night without me is kind of baloney at this age.  Maybe some babies can, but I bet those babies are already crawling, or doing algebra or something.  From about 11pm until about 6pm, many nights I'm only woken once, maybe twice, and I think this is amazing.   But apparently I'm easily amazed. 

I co-sleep and breastfeed, and if I'm being pushed to do something different, I just cheerfully say that I'm happy with my method, and keep smiling.  Dirty looks never hurt me.  Heh.

[rinap]

I smile, say "Not yet!" and change the subject. Or, when they're doing well (by my standards), I say "they're good sleepers." Or, in bad weeks "they're teething." (or sick or whatever) Because mostly they *are* good sleepers. It's just that they also wake up and need some help getting back down.

[cat13]

Usually I find that people ask about sleep because it's just what we are culturally trained to ask (like asking a pregnant woman if it's a boy or a girl). They don't really care, it just comes out. For those people I usually just say something like, "Oh, you know how babies are" and smile. For the judgmental kind of person who is just asking as an opening to give their "advice" I usually just say "we have our own little sleep routine that's working for us."

I have an almost 10 month old and am still waking up every 1-2 hours. I'm just thankful that on most nights we don't have to get out of bed and he just nurses back to sleep. And coffee. I'm thankful for coffee!
 

[girlspn]

My 12 month old dd still wakes 3-4 times a night to nurse. And more frequently when she's teething. We co-sleep so I fall back asleep quickly. I don't know anybody else in a similar situation except MDC mamas! All my friends' and relatives' babies started sleeping thru the night at 5-6 months. None of them co-sleep though. Co-sleeping is even stranger to them than baby not sleeping thru the night.

When asked about whether dd's sleeping thru the night, I just say, 'no, but it doesn't bother me.' Which is true, co-sleeping and breastfeeding saves me from fatigue. Most people see my dd's sleep patterns as confirmation that breastfeeding is hard work for mamas.