OMG, Type therapy time for me!
My mother is dead. Which is probably for the best in terms of my birthing self (she died before i had kids, when i was 24). She was a powerful woman and i am much MORE powerful in her "matriarch of the family" shoes than i was as her daughter. She would have had opinions on my first homebirth, because she had 3 homebirths but NOT for a first baby. She would possibly not have believed i could do it drug free. I think she'd have found it hard to be good birth support without telling me what to do or trying to control what everyone was doing.
My first birth was me, XP (DP back then), 2 mw's and a friend (who actually missed it because DD arrived so suddenly). DD2's birth was me, DP, my mw, a student mw (only there to observe - i laboured too fast for my mw to even manage to call her back-up) and MY dad. It was perfect, i'd aim for that again, though i'm a bit worried about arranging it because my dad is 300miles away and i'm due mid-January, which in the UK isn't necessarily a problem but MIGHT be.
Last time my FIL was really annoyed at us because DD was born on Friday morning, and i wanted to rest the rest of the day, then on Saturday i got up too soon and didn't eat near enough and made myself feel really poorly, so it was Sunday afternoon before i felt up to having the IL's visit. FIL kept going on about how they'd seen their other grandchild at 12 hours old, and had to wait TWO DAYS with ours. Eventually i was like "you can see her every day for the rest of your life, shut up about the first few days, they're GONE now!". The most annoying thing was i'd floated with them the idea of them coming to the birth, but MIL really didn't want to and (it turns out) FIL felt it wasn't "his place" to say yes when she'd said no.
Anyway this time it'll be DP, DD1 if she wants to (she wants to announce the sex so she'll be in the house anyway so she can dash in at the critical moment), the MW (fingers crossed tight it's my IM!), my dad and a female friend (to keep DD2 occupied and DD1 company if she decides not to bother). I'm going to have the IL's come asap this time, because for all i "couldn't face" them coming when i felt tired/ill last time, when they DID come they were very sweet, unobtrusive, brought soup and took away dirty washing, and stayed about 30minutes or less (so basically completely perfect guests for the post-partum woman!). My poor MIL, who had hospital births and very middle of the road choices in most things even took away the towels i'd given birth on and washed the ick and blood out of them, bless her.
Anyway, i had a great dream last night. I was having the baby, and was in the bedroom on the bed with my MW, DP, Dad and DD1 around me. I said to DP "ok, i'm gonna do it now", and he was like "NOW!?" and i was like "Yup, now, can you grab me some dark coloured towels" and he started faffing, asking me "which ones?" and saying "oh do you think that's a good idea, right THERE!?" (i was on the bed without a liner or sheet, just our normal bedding - i gave birth on a shower curtain both times before). And i put my hand down and felt that magical feeling of hard fuzzy skull amongst the soft fleshiness between my legs and decided the faff was too much effort, and said "i need the bathroom anyway!". As i walked away i heard my midwife laugh and say to DP "she won't come back alone!". I got to the bathroom, shut the door, knelt down and shoved a towel and our deep fluffy purple bathrug between my knees then caught my long, skinny, black-haired baby as it slid out, noticing how it turned when the head was out to get its shoulders out (my other two didn't!). I turned her over and she was a she, with beautiful dark eyes and hair. She get a surprised yell then looked at me. It was totally magic. Then i calmly got up and staggered back into the bedroom with her against my belly and a big smile on my face and woke up to my IM laughing "I told you!" as she bustled over to help sort us out.
The only fly in this ointment is that MIL has already started going on about how "boys are better" (IN FRONT of my fantastic GIRLS!) and my first thought on waking, before i realised it was a dream, was that she was gonna be MAD at another girl. It's not really a fly though, DP and i love girls, so another girl would be brilliant for us (and a boy would be most welcome too).
Wow that was a lot of therapy!