lost a baby during a home birth

[named]

I am not looking to bash home births. I am still really jealous that I won't have the home birth I have always dreamed of.... I am just looking for other parents out there that may have experienced what my husband and I experienced.

we experienced a great pregnancy and a perfect birth and a baby that didn't make it past 6 days in the NICU.

people have recommended we go to grief support at hospitals, but we chose to have out baby at home (which may or may not have been the reason why this happened) so I just don't feel connected with people that gave birth at a hospital.

Id like to speak with others that are grieving the loss of their child, that made the same or similar choices we made. I just seems like we would have more in common.

thanks.

[Adaline'sMama]

I'm so sorry. I will say that the support groups might be helpful for you in the longrun. I'm not sure when this happened, but my so died in April, and Im still not ready for support groups. Things can be so raw and it can be so hard to identify with others. I know there are ladies here who have lost children after a homebirth. Hopefully they can help. Love to you and your family.

[newsolarmomma2]

There's a group called stillbirthdays on FB and the web. I think the URL is www.stillbirthday.com
They have many different loss moms and mentors to help, including several who lost their babies at HB or in the NICU after a HB. Sadly, you are not alone, there are many moms with HB loss out there, but most don't talk about it.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby.

[newsolarmomma2]

Here is a link for Home stillbirth (unexpected or not)/ deaths due to HB, it's part of a series.

"http://stillbirthday.com/2012/05/29/support-for-home-stillbirth/"

Please contact Heidi, the lady that runs this site. She is a wonderful woman and can connect you to others that can help you and who truly understand your situation. I can think of a few others with similar losses.

BTW, There is a lot of God talk on the page, but it isn't primarily religious site and there are all types of contributors. All faiths, or none at all, are welcomed.

[prothyraia]

I have nothing to add really, just .  I hope you find a place to talk about everything and get some support in return.
 

[AdinaL]

I have removed some posts regarding a website that was linked. This is not the place to have this argument or discussion.  If you joined either to defend or bash the site that was linked, please do not continue to post in this manner. 

That being said, I do urge caution when participating in sites such as this, make sure you have researched who and what are behind it and what your stories might be used for.  

Thank you.  Please keep this thread for support only.

[stillbirthday]

I am the creator of stillbirthday and I am very sorry for your loss.  I am thankful that it has been linked here for you to research, as we do have support specific to homebirth loss, and specific to the painful, frightening NICU experience.  As if losing our children isn't hard enough, there can be additional issues when we endure one that is connected to homebirth, including unsolicited judgment, guilt, shame, and accusations.  I hope that you will be shielded from these very painful experiences as you mourn your child.
I understand your caution in seeking the right support group.  We have a listing of support groups that is local to you - just look in the counseling and support section, and click on your state.  You are also invited to share your own story, as we have a collection of stillbirth stories that involve homebirth and you will see that each one is different.  Like the moderator said, it is wise to see what a place is all about before sharing your story there - our stories hold the reality of our children and wherever we share them, they should be regarded respectfully.  I too am a loss mom, and there just is nothing like the death of our children.  I am sorry.
 

[lifeisgood2]

I am so sorry to hear if your loss. There is no comparable heartbreak. We had our third homebirth in Dec of '10 and our baby also died in PICU@ 2 weeks. I did attend a support group at a local hospital. Parents usually are relating about how much they miss their baby and not so much about where the birth occurred. The group includes people that have misscarried, stillbirth, and neonatal death. My dd was seemingly healthy for a week before a hypoxic episode that left her with global brain damage incompatible with life. I would be glad to speak with you. Feel free to message me.