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June Rockstar (formerly Whatever'ing) Mamas 2012 - Page 10

post #181 of 409
Thread Starter 

Unless you plan on hosting it at her house, there will be gluten. Seriously. She can get over it or not come. (I don't know her, obviously, but she seems like the sort of person that might not be missed . . . . that sounds mean. but I haven't had my coffee yet) I am all for accomodating various dieting restrictions - at both of Gabe's parties I have had vegetarians (thankfully no vegans, that's harder) and people allergic to everything in the onion family (garlic, shallots, leeks . . .) And was able to accomodate them without much problem. Say Quesadilla!  But Gluten??? do you have to provide gluten free cake? ugh.

 

Annie/Lauri glad tests have come back ok - hope those teeth come through soon and you get a bit of a respite for the next ones.

 

Carrie - didn't comment on your ghost. But I have had something similiar happen to a friend and I and it totally freaked us out. at least he seems friendly.

 

MW: how is the truck doing? Ryan seems to like it. (unless he's being funny?)

 

AFU: I am tired, as usual. I hate these freaking long post partum cycles. Day 46 now. Last one was 53. On one hand, fewer periods to deal with. On the other, I hate the unpredictability. I have fertile signs around day 28-30, and if I O'd, that's a freakishly long LP. 

post #182 of 409

JJ - agreed about the gluten thing.  As vegans we are always going to parties and I don't expect the host to completely cater to us!  WTF?  Also that's her issue if her kids can't be trusted not to eat something that isn't gluten free.

Now.  There are easy things to have available that are gluten free so they aren't sitting there starving (I mean, cheese, rice, meat, fruits, veggies, etc) but I mean, NOTHING says you have to have the entire event GF!  Redic.

 

Kat - long cycles sound like the pits and i think that's where I'm headed too.  Boo. 

post #183 of 409
Thread Starter 

Booo. Indeed - it's a major PITA. makes me worry too much about an oops. ~lalalalalalalal~ need to focus on other things, like coffee!

 

I had a big cup, and now I am feeling all sweaty. ugh.

post #184 of 409
I missed something about ghosts. What was it? I'm always fascinated by that sort of thing. I don't believe in them but I find that sort of stuff so interesting. I had a very scary experience with something like that right after I moved into this house.

The truck is fine. Ryan was being serious. He really likes it.

Ryan has a girlfriend who's been staying over. I was wondering last night what I thought/felt about that. I was feeling unsure about it but then thinking he is an adult and he does pay rent. If we were roommates, it would be ok unless we had made a rule against it together. Anyway, I realized that the problem is that I think I should not allow it because that's what conventional parenting says but the truth is that it doesn't really bother me. It's not like they're chasing each other around the house naked with the kitchen utensils. lol.gif

We've been sleeping pretty well. Dylan was up and squirmy until after midnight last night but we slept until almost 10 am so I can't really complain. We were just coming downstairs when DH came home from work. lol.gif
post #185 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

JJ - agreed about the gluten thing.  As vegans we are always going to parties and I don't expect the host to completely cater to us!  WTF?  Also that's her issue if her kids can't be trusted not to eat something that isn't gluten free.

Now.  There are easy things to have available that are gluten free so they aren't sitting there starving (I mean, cheese, rice, meat, fruits, veggies, etc) but I mean, NOTHING says you have to have the entire event GF!  Redic.

Absolutely! I totally understand them wanting to have food the girls can eat as well. But not allowing the hosts to serve any gluten food (because it's not fair to the girls...) isn't fair. Or realistic. They're growing up. They're going to encounter foods they can't eat. They really need to be teaching the girls that, but they choose not to. And all you guys are right, it's very much her personality. She's known as the family thunder thief, and loves to make a huge deal about -everything-. Every time we post something new about Ten, or she finds out through the grapevine, she has to counter about something with her youngest (6m older than T). ie Tenley is teething "Oh, no way she'll get teeth yet. It'll be at least 2 more months. Don't get your hopes up. Oh, did you know that Marcus cut his first tooth last week?"   Copy and paste with anything exciting we mention. 

Ok, apparently it's naptime, I'll be back later. 

post #186 of 409
Naptime...haha! We just got up for the morning a little over an hour ago.
post #187 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Ryan has a girlfriend who's been staying over. I was wondering last night what I thought/felt about that. I was feeling unsure about it but then thinking he is an adult and he does pay rent. If we were roommates, it would be ok unless we had made a rule against it together. Anyway, I realized that the problem is that I think I should not allow it because that's what conventional parenting says but the truth is that it doesn't really bother me. It's not like they're chasing each other around the house naked with the kitchen utensils. lol.gif
We've been sleeping pretty well. Dylan was up and squirmy until after midnight last night but we slept until almost 10 am so I can't really complain. We were just coming downstairs when DH came home from work. lol.gif

I think your point about paying rent is a very valid one. If he's contributing to the household AND having her there isn't further dipping into your household resources (ie I've had friends with roommates complain that bfs/gfs use up all the hot water, or all the groceries, or never clean up after themselves), then as long as they're not bothering you, I don't see why you should feel obligated to worry about it. You're right, if they were disturbing you in some way with excessive noise, or with the kids, or something, then that's different... but otherwise *shrugs* do what you feel is right. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Naptime...haha! We just got up for the morning a little over an hour ago.

She's been up since about 530am. I brought her into bed and she off and on slept and pulled my hair/scratched my back until almost 8, and then we were up for the day. But really... she's been awake since about 6am. 5 minutes here and there for 2 hours doesn't count! lol

post #188 of 409
Thread Starter 

MW: I am jealous of your wake up time! I feel good that I slept until 7! LOL

 

Ryan . . . hmmm. I am torn, bc while I agree with the above points (rent paying, non disruptive, etc - and he's an adult) with my own kids, it's like, just because they are an adult doesnt' mean they stop being your kids, IYKWIM. I want them to take sex seriously and hope they reserve it for a committed relationship (hopefully a monogomous one). I think with the later marriage ages we see, that saving it for marriage is a bit unrealistic (not impossible or anything, but just unlikely). I think if it was someone my child had been seeing/dating for a while, and I knew them, etc, I would be ok with it. I would NOT be ok with a bunch of one night stand type things. Plus if there are littles in the house, I am sure they would be looking up to the older one as a role model, etc. . . . So, yes, I am a bit conflicted. Thankfully, I have a while before that's an issue in our house!

 

I wish I could take a nap . . . enjoy JJ!

post #189 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

MW: I am jealous of your wake up time! I feel good that I slept until 7! LOL

 

Ryan . . . hmmm. I am torn, bc while I agree with the above points (rent paying, non disruptive, etc - and he's an adult) with my own kids, it's like, just because they are an adult doesnt' mean they stop being your kids, IYKWIM. I want them to take sex seriously and hope they reserve it for a committed relationship (hopefully a monogomous one). I think with the later marriage ages we see, that saving it for marriage is a bit unrealistic (not impossible or anything, but just unlikely). I think if it was someone my child had been seeing/dating for a while, and I knew them, etc, I would be ok with it. I would NOT be ok with a bunch of one night stand type things. Plus if there are littles in the house, I am sure they would be looking up to the older one as a role model, etc. . . . So, yes, I am a bit conflicted. Thankfully, I have a while before that's an issue in our house!

 

I wish I could take a nap . . . enjoy JJ!

Ugh. It was 15 minutes long, and she wouldn't fall back asleep, but is a monster now. So tired, but so fighting it. I think we're going to switch around our day and go grocery shopping soon so that I can put her in the carrier and hopefully she'll sleep long enough to tide her over until her afernoon nap. 

 

Re: Ryan-- oh gosh yes! It would not fly in my books if it was different girls all the time. Totally different if it was the same person. I should also note that my mother let me have sleepovers with my boyfriend from age 17 onwards. But we are a freaking anomaly and didn't have sex until we were married. Lots of sleepovers, but that's really all they were. 

 

And I see the point of there being little ones with curious minds in the house too. I guess it would depend on how it's handled by everyone. 

post #190 of 409
JJ ~ Dylan did something similar with his nap yesterday. He woke up too soon, would not go back to sleep, but was just fussy, fussy, fussy afterward. He did finally fall back to sleep maybe an hour or so later but it was not fun dealing with him before that!

Oh, and we didn't sleep straight from midnight until 10 am. Dylan stirred several times to nurse and dh woke me up at least twice coming into the bedroom between 5 and 6 am. irked.gif

Yeah, Ryan's not having a string of one night stands. This is his girlfriend, albeit relatively new, but monogamous as far as he says. Ryan's not into one night stands. That's one thing he complained about here when I asked him in the past why he wasn't interested in dating. He said all the young women here are either looking for a Marine to marry or are already married to Marines and only looking for hook ups. He's not interested in wasting his time if it's not going to be a relationship. love.gif And, honestly, I don't know that they are having sex, only that she's slept over a few times. I slept with boyfriends without having sex.

Ethan was a little concerned the first time he saw her car still here in the morning. Kellen said it was ok because she was with Ryan.

I get the feeling that your kids are always your kids but once they are adults they aren't children anymore. I don't subscribe to that whole, "while under my roof you have to follow my strict, controlling rules," mindset. Yes, everyone needs to be respectful of everyone else but once you are legally an adult and responsible for yourself, things like curfews are ridiculous, imo.
post #191 of 409
Thread Starter 

Not strict rules - but respect. like the girl/woman (she is younger than me, but older than my little sister) who rented the basement before we moved in. - she would come home, late, drunk off her butt, ringing the doorbell at 2 a.m. A curferw is stupid for someone who isn't even your kid, but some respect for the "landlords" is appreciated.

 

and I am glad Ryan feels that way. I was trying to get into my head, how I might feel 15-20 years down the line about something like that. And yes, you can sleep over without sex. DH and I did for months before we were married.  So, my ramblings were more to the, what would I do or think in that situation? sort of thing.

 

I don't think I've stayed in bed past 8 or 9 am . . . . since I was pregnant with DS. *sigh* I would rather go to bed early, but DS is too much of a night owl.

 

The kids stay in bed with DH some days until around 10.

post #192 of 409

Ended up going out and doing yardwork with Ten on my back and she slept for about an hour I think? I'm borrowing a Boba right now, and I love it!! Much better than the Beco. Rob still prefers the mei tai, but I think I could be convinced into the Boba fulltime! (Not that we're in the market for another carrier...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Yeah, Ryan's not having a string of one night stands. This is his girlfriend, albeit relatively new, but monogamous as far as he says. Ryan's not into one night stands. That's one thing he complained about here when I asked him in the past why he wasn't interested in dating. He said all the young women here are either looking for a Marine to marry or are already married to Marines and only looking for hook ups. He's not interested in wasting his time if it's not going to be a relationship. love.gif And, honestly, I don't know that they are having sex, only that she's slept over a few times. I slept with boyfriends without having sex.
I get the feeling that your kids are always your kids but once they are adults they aren't children anymore. I don't subscribe to that whole, "while under my roof you have to follow my strict, controlling rules," mindset. Yes, everyone needs to be respectful of everyone else but once you are legally an adult and responsible for yourself, things like curfews are ridiculous, imo.

Yeah, if we all raise our children and at 20-something, that's their mindset, I think we're doing alright! lol

 

I think that as long as they are living at home, they need to be following your rules. But I agree they don't need to be strict and controlling. But like, if you did decide that you weren't comfortable with her spending the night, then I think you're fully within your rights to say no, she can't stay. Or she can only stay on Sat/Sun, etc etc. He's still living under your roof, and I am of the belief that if a child (well adult, but child in this sense) is still living at home, then they need to be respectful of house rules still. Now, if it were things like "You're 21, but I want you home by 10pm every night, and no friends over unless you ask permission, and I'm going to check if your room is clean every day" ... then yeah, that's silly, and as that child, I'd be hightailing it out of there! lol

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Not strict rules - but respect. like the girl/woman (she is younger than me, but older than my little sister) who rented the basement before we moved in. - she would come home, late, drunk off her butt, ringing the doorbell at 2 a.m. A curferw is stupid for someone who isn't even your kid, but some respect for the "landlords" is appreciated.

^^Yeah, basically that. 

post #193 of 409
Yeah, that's why I said that everyone needs to be respectful of everyone else. I do expect Ryan and his friends to be respectful of us and I also try to be respectful of them. I know many parents who are not respectful toward their children regardless of their age and I think that's really sad.

I guess I can understand telling your adult child no BFs/GFs spending the night if you aren't comfortable if they are still relying on you for all their financial support. Even then, though, I kind of see that as the parents using their financial position to control the adult child and I don't think that's very respectful. Plus, I think that if the adult child is working and paying rent it becomes even more their home, too. I mean, technically Ryan is helping to pay for our mortgage. That sort of gives him a financial piece in our home. It is his home, too, whether he pays anything or not, though, just like it's the younger boys' home.

DH has that mindset and it really bugs me. For example, the other day he asked (read that as told in a request type of way) Ryan to not park in the driveway so he could park his truck there. His reasoning was that his truck is a lot bigger than Ryan's car. I guess that means it's more likely to get sideswipped or whatever. Ryan said something to Sean about why he parked in the driveway. Sean's response was, "I'll tell you what. When you start paying half the mortgage, you can park in the garage." To me, that was just mean and nasty and disrespectful. Sean sort of flexing his muscles at Ryan. I get Sean's POV but the way he approached it gave the message that he thinks he and his things are more important than Ryan and Ryan's things. I mean, with that line of thinking, since I don't contribute at all financially I shouldn't be allowed to park in the driveway.
post #194 of 409
Thread Starter 
Msybe express that to Sean? It mIght help him see it in a different light.
post #195 of 409
Yeah I agree with you mw. The way I feel about it is is want my son or daughters girl/boy friend to be comfortable enough around me and the others in the house that it doesn't come across secretive. My older sisters always had boyfriends come and sleep over or live there at my moms, but it was awkward. Very secretive, slinking in and out, barely a hello... I don't want that. Come hang out. Eat dinner with us. Be a house guest rather than a sleep over buddy, you know?

I agree Seans comment could be really offensive. :-(

Who all is going in September? How many days are each of you staying?
I think I have a touch of whatever this virus is the kids have, and I'm beat. I'm trying to get them down now so I can sit, not watch Thomas, and not think for a little while. Sometimes it's exhausting wording things so Nora will not only listen, but not flip out. I think we had a pretty good day tho, for all of us being sick.

Oh, and I noticed a yeast rash in one of Finns thigh rolls. I think it's painful! He screamed when I puked the fold apart. I felt terrible! I'm sure that's not helping his mood.

Sent from my SGH-T959 using Tapatalk
post #196 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I missed something about ghosts. What was it? I'm always fascinated by that sort of thing. I don't believe in them but I find that sort of stuff so interesting. I had a very scary experience with something like that right after I moved into this house.

 

Last night around 3 am, I went into the kitchen with Finn to get him motrin.  I got the bottle and the syrnge, and out of nowhere heard a male deep voice loud say, "YOU ALRIGHT?" in my right ear. I spun around ready to kill Chris thinking it was him seeing if we were ok (he sleeps in the living room), and he knows I hate being snuck up on at night.  There was nobody there.  I looked around in the dark for like a minute before it really registered in my mind what had just happened. It was REAL.  That voice, I can still hear it in my head.  

post #197 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

 

Last night around 3 am, I went into the kitchen with Finn to get him motrin.  I got the bottle and the syrnge, and out of nowhere heard a male deep voice loud say, "YOU ALRIGHT?" in my right ear. I spun around ready to kill Chris thinking it was him seeing if we were ok (he sleeps in the living room), and he knows I hate being snuck up on at night.  There was nobody there.  I looked around in the dark for like a minute before it really registered in my mind what had just happened. It was REAL.  That voice, I can still hear it in my head.  


This is still creeping me out! I just got chills reading it again! Man, I probably wouldn't have been able to stay in the house until it got light outside.

 

I'm planning to go for the whole time but I'm seriously reconsidering Busch Gardens, especially if Ava still isn't walking. There's no way I'm carrying her butt around all day and she tolerates a stroller for about 0.7 seconds.

post #198 of 409
Carrie ~ I've got some pills for those voices in your head. pinktongue.gif

Did I tell you guys my ghost story? Like I said, it started right after I moved into this house, so summer 2007. Sean was deployed. I would feel like I'd wake up in the middle of the night to a dark shadow hovering over my bed. I was terrified. I couldn't move or make a sound. I would try to yell for Ryan but no sound would come out of my mouth. It happened multiple times and got worse every time. The last few times the shadow thing was literally pinning me down. I was screaming at it in my head to come and get me like I was going to fight it. lol.gif I told my therapist. She said it was fear, my fear of something manifesting itself as night terrors. After that it stopped and has never come back. I think it's pretty cool that once I knew what it was, it was gone.

Obviously, I'm going to Williamsburg for the whole time. I'm still waiting to see if Sean can get the time off. He's now going to be the Commanding Officer of something, which might make it difficult for him to take leave. He has to use it or lose, though, so that might be in his favor. I guess it just depends on how busy his job is.

I did tell Sean my perspective on what he said but he didn't get it. His response was, "Fine, then Ryan can park in the driveway," very begrudgingly. That's what he does. If he doesn't immediately get what he wants, he gets very passive/aggressive. I told Sean if that was the best he could than I guess that's how it would be. Ryan did move his car.
post #199 of 409

Yeah I can see the problem with how Sean worded that. I do get that he feels he has priority for parking the truck on the driveway... but definitely could have been approached better!!

 

I'm not going, but I'll be thinking of you guys!! Annie and I will have a mdc party and keep the thread alive :lol

post #200 of 409
Thread Starter 

All these ghosts!

 

I've taken time off, but it will depend on whether or not DH is working and is coming. I think I plan on staying the whole time.

 

Has any of you toddlers just cried, and cried and gotten louder and nothing calms them? I can't quite call it a tantrum, because it's just standing still and there isn't really any defiance to it. IDK if you have any ideas to diffuse it? What works, sort of, is just cuddling and not talking (bc talking gets no response and sometimes makes it worse) although I admit, when Gabe gets like this, I really don't feel like cuddling him. I feel like I am missing something, like some piece of the puzzle, but don't know what ~ and he can't/won't tell me.

 

Truck parking *ugh* That could have been handled way better. (by Sean) Like hey, Ryan, it's not really safe for the truck to be street parked, as there's not much space there for all this sexiness. Do you mind moving your car so I can park in the driveway?

 

That said, I've been the extra (3rd or 4th) car in a family for years, and it's always been kind of understood that I get te sucky parking spot. From getting my first car in high school, to living with my grandmother in college, being the 3rd car when we lived in Japan, and again back stateside, then with the IL's before they were ILs . . . . I didn't get priority parking until we had our own house. Now I get it sort of, living with my parents, because toting kids around gives you a bit more clout in that fight.

 

man, I'm tired.

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