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June Rockstar (formerly Whatever'ing) Mamas 2012 - Page 14

post #261 of 409
JJ ~ I can't really remember what a 13 month old is expected to be doing. There is such a wide range of normal. I've have read many times that boys are slower with vocabulary than girls so it might not be fair to compare him to any girls.

Dylan makes a lot of noises but I wouldn't call it babbling. He doesn't do any, "ga ga," or "ba ba" or anything like that. He does a lot of, "oh' and "uh" sounds. He screeches. HSe makes these, "sst" sounds a lot, too. He very expressive with his face. But when we are out a lot of times he doesn't respond to strangers at all. He just stares at them. When at Sean's change of command ceremony, one of Sean's friends who had never seen Dylan picked him up and held him for a really long time. Dylan just stared at him the entire time. He didn't cry or fuss but he also didn't smile or talk or play with him in any way.

Kellen wouldn't talk to other people even when he was 3 and 4. He used to just stare at everyone, too, or give them the stink face. Kellen wasn't talking in sentences when he was 2. I remember talking to almost everyone about it. I was sort of worried but not really worried enough to do anything about it. Now we can't get him to stop talking. lol.gif The only issue is that he's still hard to understand. He can't pronounce back of the throat consonants like "g" and "k". They still sound like "d" and "t". He drops the "s" at the beginning of words. He says, "me" instead of "I". But, like Kat said about Gabe, I can recognize progress and development so I not too worried about it. The only thing that's really bothersome is that Kellen gets really frustrated and upset sometimes when we can't understand him.

Dylan only nursed once last night between 11 to 6, I think. I don't actually remember him nursing but I woke up with half my shirt pulled up. lol.gif

I forgot to mention that Sean and I actually got to go out last night without any kids. Dylan fell asleep just before 6 so I felt comfortable leaving him with Ryan. Ryan's girlfriend came over, too, and she's really good with him so I wasn't worried about him being left sitting on the floor crying.

Sean wants to get a vasectomy. He said he needs my signature to do it. I know it's his body and I don't really have any right to refuse but I don't know if I can sign that paper. We got in an argument about it last night. I got angry because he acted as if the only reason I had ever given him for not getting a vas was so that I could have another baby. He said he doesn't remember anything I said about my concerns about whether or not it's really safe and doesn't have any negative long term effects. It's like he doesn't really listen to me. He must be really mad at me because I didn't set up my coffee this morning like he's been doing since he got back from VA.
post #262 of 409
Carrie ~ We cross-posted. That's interesting about Nora and the artificial sweetener. I don't like my kids to have any of that but I do drink diet soda sometimes. I probably don't need to since I don't drink a lot of soda, usually one 12 oz. can a day. shrug.gif

JJ ~ I forgot to comment on your birth story. Are you talking about posting to your blog? Sneak peaks might be nice. 10 pages is a lot to read. winky.gif
post #263 of 409
Artifical sweetners are awful IMO. Glad you cut them out! I totally believe it was affecting her behavior. So that sleep schedule was two nights ago. Last night was WORSE! At one point, if she had a regular crib I probably would have left her to cry. :( So glad I don't have that as an option because now I don't trust myself at night. Yesterday, DH took all five kids to our neice's graduation party while I worked. It was an hour away so DD spent a decent amount of time in the carseat. She must have been carried around a lot too because she had way too many movements left in her when I got home from work at 9:30 pm. I fed her some food because she hadn't eaten much at the party, gave her a quick bath and tried to put her down. No dice. She finally went to sleep at Midnight after I put her in the wrap, turned off the lights in the living room and danced around singing along to Norah Jones. I expected her to crash. Ummm wrongo. I stopped counting after the 5th wake up before 3 AM. Finally brought her next to me even though she normally hates that and she snuggled up to sleep. I was in a crap position though so now I feel like I've been beat up. And the big kids are home all week now. So help me god if someone disrupts our nap this morning.
post #264 of 409
Thread Starter 

I finally wrote out Norah's - I am so glad I did. And Gabe's. Gabes brought a lot of latent anger to the surface, bc it just reminds me how much having a c-section for your first birth colors and changes every single subsequent birth. *sigh* not much to be done about it.

 

I don't think Gabe gets much artificial sweetener. He doesn't get anything diet. The very rare times he sips our soda, we have root beer or sprite, so no caffeine either. I need to work on less junk food in the house, but it's hard when Wayne likes to snack on it.

 

Vasectomy - I feel in general it is safer and more effective than any female surgical steriliztion procedure. My dad had that done back in 1990, and for most of our friends it is what they choose to do when they are done having children. I think we will likely go the same route.

 

Hooray for time without kids! Shoot, going out with just one is fantastic!

post #265 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Kellen wouldn't talk to other people even when he was 3 and 4. He used to just stare at everyone, too, or give them the stink face. Kellen wasn't talking in sentences when he was 2. I remember talking to almost everyone about it. I was sort of worried but not really worried enough to do anything about it. Now we can't get him to stop talking. lol.gif The only issue is that he's still hard to understand. He can't pronounce back of the throat consonants like "g" and "k". They still sound like "d" and "t". He drops the "s" at the beginning of words. He says, "me" instead of "I". .

 

Oh this is interesting to me.  Nora does a few things that I wonder if I need to/should correct or just wait out.  For example, she says her instead of she (aw, her's crying) and she also doesn't make the s sound in the beginning of words, it's always an f.  So spin is fin, school is fool.  

 

She also isn't very kind to strangers/groups.  She's introverted so she will let me talk for her (which...I feel funny doing, honestly...) and just remain shy or whimper.  It's just her personality I suppose.

 

Re: the vasectomy issue.  It's not as though you're telling him to do it.  You're more like approving of him doing something he wants to do already.  There are risks involved with anything, but there are far less risks to that procedure than to, say, a tubal, etc.  

 

JJ  - would love sneak peeks!  I love birth stories and can't wait to read yours.  

 

Lauri - I've SO been there.  So been there.  This WILL pass.  She must be on the verge of something BIG.  It honestly sounds like what I just went thru with Finn and how I got to my limit and started looking into nightweaning.  Which I never would have thought of to do before age 1.

 

AFM - took the kids to panera for lunch and then poked around party city.  I've decided Finn's party theme!  It's going to be pirates!  Oh it's going to be ADORABLE!!!

 

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Edited by Baby_Cakes - 6/25/12 at 1:16pm
post #266 of 409
Oh, pirates does sound adorable. Are you going to have a big party?

Dylan is 11 months today! He weighs 21.2 lbs. (21 lbs., 3.2 oz.). I haven't measured his length yet.

I know it's not right for me to refuse to sign that paper for Sean. It's his body and he should be able to do what he wants with it, even if I disagree. The whole thing just freaks me out. I can't explain it all. As I've been thinking about it today, I've realized that there's part of me that thinks it's gross and is not sure I will be able to look at or think of him the same. That doesn't make any sense but there it is.

At 3yo, I wouldn't worry at all about that kind of speech issue or behavior. I talk for my kids a lot. But just last week I left all 3 boys at the park with one of the other homeschool moms while I ran home to get some toys for Ethan and Kellen. When I got back she said that both of them talked to her the entire time I was gone. jaw.gif This from one kid who wouldn't even talk to the neighbors that he saw almost every day from the time he was 3.5 to 6 and another kid who didn't really talk until after he was 2. I think a lot of it has to do with the personality of the other person, too. Some people are really loud and aggressive, especially with kids, quizing them and demanding responses. It would be nice if they would just say, "Hi."
post #267 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Ugh, Lauri.  Woman, that is a ROUGH NIGHT.  I'm at the point now where, like I said, if it's within an hour or so of him having nursed, I don't offer milk straight away.  If it's an option for you, you could try the same.  Just rock, pat, shush.  It's less milk for you to have to pump, and maybe it'll help her be less dependent on milk for every settle.  Idk if you want to try, just throwing it out there.  Not nightweaning, mind you, just trying something else in between feedings, you know?

 

Yeah I've started doing that too. I've noticed during her naps during the day that she will fully wake up after her first sleep cycle because she now knows how to sit up on her own from laying down but if I go right in and walk her around for a few minutes, she falls back asleep for another 45 mins to an hour. And she doesn't need a bottle to go back to sleep like that. So at night, if it's been less than 2 hours since I fed her, I try to walk her around first. If she doesn't stay asleep when I put her back down,  I know she really is hungry.

 

I'm still traumatized from last night! It was rough! I asked the kids if they carried her around a lot yesterday and they said that the party was really crowded and there wasn't any room for her to get down and play so that's part of why she was so squirmy! But she was seriously running around at midnight like someone had given her caffeine or something. She would go to the boys' door and bang on it and start yelling. What the heck? It was like she was drunk or something. She was so exhausted this morning though that she slept from 10 AM-12:45 PM and I don't think she moved the whole time. The big kids were great and stayed quiet so we could both sleep.

post #268 of 409

I couldn't sign for my DH to get a vasectomy either. Even if I didn't have a religious issue with it, I don't think it needs to be done. It's an unnecessary medical procedure. I feel the same way about tubal ligation. Hysterectomies are different because sometimes those are needed to stop severe bleeding issues but that's usually rare.

 

Pirate theme is awesome! You guys will have so much fun with that!
 

post #269 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Oh, pirates does sound adorable. Are you going to have a big party?
Dylan is 11 months today! He weighs 21.2 lbs. (21 lbs., 3.2 oz.). I haven't measured his length yet.

 

Not huge, maybe 15-20 ppl, some small kids.  

 

Happy 11 months, Dylan!!  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
! But she was seriously running around at midnight like someone had given her caffeine or something. She would go to the boys' door and bang on it and start yelling. What the heck? It was like she was drunk or something.

 

Ha!  Man!  Maybe she was overtired and just going bananas!?  Nora used to do that when she was little!  If you didn't catch her at just the right moment, it was like someone wound her battery back up and she was go-go-go for another chunk of the night!

 

Idk guys...if DH really wanted a vasectomy I'd sign off.  I guess I just don't feel as strongly as you guys do.  Lots of things/procedures/surgeries are "unnecessary" but if a person wants to do it, then they should be able to, right?  And a vas isn't hurting anyone else (unlike if a woman elects to have a section, ukwim?).

post #270 of 409
Annie ~ I agree. I told dh it was unnecessary but he just got all pissy with me.

Carrie ~ I agree with you, too, sort of. He should be able to do whatever he wants with his own body. I don't know that it won't hurt someone else, which is part of my issue with it. I don't trust that the risk of any serious complications is minimal to nonexistent. What if he gets prostrate cancer because it and dies at 50? That would certainly hurt all of us. Ethan would just be 18. Kellen and Dylan would still be minors. His dad has prostate cancer. He's going through his 2nd treatment for it right now. Cancer runs in his family like crazy. His mom died from breast cancer. His maternal grand mother died from lung cancer. His sister had cervical cancer when she was in her early 20s.

I just don't know. Since it's not necessary, why take any risk?

Dylan is asleep. He fell asleep with dh while I was out with Ethan and Kellen. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. He skipped his 2nd nap so I figured this would happen. I just hope he doesn't stir until we all are going to bed and I can immediately lay down with him and get him to go back to sleep. Otherwise, I might be up very late.
post #271 of 409
Thread Starter 
I would totally sign off on it. But maybe that's bc I don't want to chart forever, and in my heart of hearts, once we have our third, I am done. And for seething perm, I am way cooler with a vasectomy than a tubal ligation or essure. But that's just us.

Pirates are awesome! I wish we lived close enough to come!

*yawn*
post #272 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Ha!  Man!  Maybe she was overtired and just going bananas!?  Nora used to do that when she was little!  If you didn't catch her at just the right moment, it was like someone wound her battery back up and she was go-go-go for another chunk of the night!

 

Idk guys...if DH really wanted a vasectomy I'd sign off.  I guess I just don't feel as strongly as you guys do.  Lots of things/procedures/surgeries are "unnecessary" but if a person wants to do it, then they should be able to, right?  And a vas isn't hurting anyone else (unlike if a woman elects to have a section, ukwim?).

Yeah, we've noticed lately that Tenley's sleep window is miniscule, a matter of a few minutes, and then she's back on the upswing and won't sleep for an hour or more. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I would totally sign off on it. But maybe that's bc I don't want to chart forever, and in my heart of hearts, once we have our third, I am done. And for seething perm, I am way cooler with a vasectomy than a tubal ligation or essure. But that's just us.

 

If it were a choice between the two, then I agree that he would have the procedure, not me. However, I'm not supportive of the decision either. Beyond normal surgical complications there are also several other issues I've heard a lot about that would concern me with a vasectomy. But in the next 10 years or os, I can admit that my primary reason not to would be that nagging fear that I wasn't sure we were done. I know they can be reversed, but it's not like it's easy, you know? A lot easier 10 years down the road to stop charting, or take out an IUD, etc etc. 

post #273 of 409

Ok, part one of the posted birth story. http://thingsthat-shine.blogspot.ca/p/birth-story-of-thb.html  I had it all written out already, now I'm just going through and matching it with the photos-- and let me tell you- it's hilarious realizing how off some of the timelines and events were in my head! Things in the wrong order, things that I had written took 90 minutes, which actually took only 15 or so... So it's taking a lot of editing and re-ordering things again! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to put in a bit more time and finish the birth, and then the immediate postpartum!

 

The current post is 'safe'. There's one shot that shows nipple, but it's pretty zoomed out. The next post... not so much. It will start with an on-her-way-to-crowning shot. 

post #274 of 409
Thread Starter 

You almost make me wish I had taken birth photos! Almost. I know it was not pretty (and I was Naked once I hit transition) my post-birth ones are ghastly enough! LOL

 

Wonderful so far!

 

And really, it shows what a difference good nurses make.

 

BC - I had thought about an IUD. DH and I had nearly made up our minds, but it gets very mixed reviews, and the thought of it turrning me into a crazy person (one of the biggest complaints about either Mirena or Paraguard) kinda freaked both of us out. And we just aren't willling to do anything hormonal . . .so yeah. charting is where it's at for now.

 

Re: Cancer risk. That could happen regardless of whether or not he has it done. Especially with his family history. In my brief google research (because I had not known there was any kind of considered connection - even though I know several men that have gone through the procedure) it seems having a vasectomy mightly slightly raise the risk bc there is more testosterone in the blood stream. But you can do things to still help reduce the risk, like eat tomatoes, take saw palmetto supplements, and excersice. yeah, it's an elective, unnecessary procedure. But - you both need to make a decision you can live with at the end of the day.

 

Man I am hungry. and I need coffee.

post #275 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I would totally sign off on it. But maybe that's bc I don't want to chart forever, and in my heart of hearts, once we have our third, I am done. And for seething perm, I am way cooler with a vasectomy than a tubal ligation or essure. But that's just us.

I am definitely done having babies so that's not the issue. It's not a decision between him doing something or me doing something, either. I wouldn't do anything permanent to my body. I wouldn't even do anything "temporary" to my body. There are ways to prevent pg that involve any of that or charting. I don't really mind charting, though, because I find it interesting and helpful in and of itself. It's nice to know exactly when to expect af.gif. I wouldn't have any idea when to expect it without charting. It would be a lot easier to use FAM to prevent pg if I had short, regular cycles. I wouldn't even have to chart then.

And, yeah, there is a huge risk already of him getting cancer. That's why it makes no sense to me to do anything that might increase that risk even slightly. Again, an unnecessary medical procedure that could have very dire consequences.

Vases aren't that easy to reverse. I mean, you can have it reversed but it doesn't always work well. I'm not even sure if it works well in the majority of cases. I knew too many people on FF who were dealing with IF after a vas reversal. It was really sad.

I asked him yesterday why we couldn't just use condoms. He said that was fine with him. He hadn't suggested that because he thought I didn't like using them. Another example of him not really listening and paying attention to what I'm telling him. eyesroll.gif How could he possibly think that I'd be more agreeable to him getting a vas than us using condoms? The other good thing about that is that we can always change our minds if it's not working. If he doesn't get a vas right away, it's always an option later. So, we will use condoms for now and see how it goes.

I haven't looked at the birth story yet. I was naked most of the time I was in labor with D. No one took any photos and am glad. lol.gif I do have photos of E crowning and I have video of K emerging under water.
post #276 of 409
Thread Starter 

Yeah, condoms are not bad. we do that during fertile times . . . but again, IDK if we want to spend the next 10-20 years doing that. Glad that the 2 of you are in aggreement though!

 

I would love a water birth. I am jealous of your shower time, JJ. VBACing robs you of so much. For next time, as much as I'd love it, I would have a hard time finding a midwife I trusted to do an HBAC. and I don't want to go unassisted. *sigh*

 

I am off next week! hooray! unfortunately, it comes at a bad time, $$ wise, so we will be having a stay-cation. But there is nothing wrong with that. What do ya'll do for the 4th?

post #277 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I would love a water birth. I am jealous of your shower time, JJ. VBACing robs you of so much.

Depends on where you do it. In a hospital, yes, but not at home. Kellen was a VBAC underwater birth. Dylan could have been if I had wanted to get in the tub.
post #278 of 409
Thread Starter 

Because of the mandates (not laws) against homebirth midwives attending VBACs (as we are not considered low risk) most of the reputable midwives will not attend an HBAC. There is a birth center an hour or so away that is staffed with an OB and therefore can attend them. whenever that time comes for us (hopefull not for a couple of years) I need to decide whether the drive would be worth it. One of the things that's been on my mind recently.  First we need to get back on our feet financially speaking .

 

I am waiting on AF to show up. I seriously hate long cycles. Before I went on birth control, they were regular. Granted every 35 days as opposed to 28, but they were regular. I am on day 53 here. last cycle was 53 days. so, hopefully this one wont be much longer.

post #279 of 409

I think I'm in long cycle land, too and it's very boring.  I'm on cd24 with no sign of O yet.  I'm wondering if that AF was a fluke?  I stopped temping and am going to chart cm until I see fertile signs again (using protection if we dtd of course...otherwise, not a very smart thing to do...).

post #280 of 409
What makes them reputable vs. not? Many would say that the CPMs that practice here in NC are not reputable because they are breaking the law. Both of my homebirths were attended by CPMs and I cannot imagine getting better care from anyone else. My mother was very impressed with how they handled things, too. I would drive an hour to have the birth I wanted if that were my only option. It really sucks that birth options are limited by money. So wrong!

Long cycles suck. Regular 35 day cycles would still be doable without charting, though. You could just abstain or use condoms or whatever from cd17-25 and any days you had fertile CF. Or would it be from cd11 to cd25? If cd17 is the earliest you could O, I guess you'd have to use precautions from 6 days before that, right?
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