or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › June Rockstar (formerly Whatever'ing) Mamas 2012
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

June Rockstar (formerly Whatever'ing) Mamas 2012 - Page 18

post #341 of 409

Aw, JJ.  Take a few deep breaths.  Things WILL get better.  You're not a bad mama.  If you're at the end of your rope, take a break.  Getting angry with her isn't a good place to be, so breathe deep.  This too shall pass.

 

Maybe don't try to get her to sleep.  Let her play.  Let her get exhausted.  Wear her out.  You know, there's a reason why I run myself ragged all day -- if I don't tire these kids out, they don't go down easy.  Did Ten nap ok today?

Sometimes in the middle of the night, if/when they wake, if I'm angry, I make myself laugh.  I think of a good thought.  I know it'll pass and I know that they will outgrow it.

 

One of the posts I'm working on for my blog is about how different it is this second time around.  With Nora I worried and got angry when she would wake thru the night, or not go to sleep.  With Finn, I take it for what it is, and work thru it and try not to get angry b/c I do know it will end.  

I'm trying to apply that same logic to Nora now, as she goes thru what she's going thru, her growing pains.  I wonder why I freak out about her hitting, for example, or throwing fits, or not listening, and wonder "What am I doing wrong, how do I fix it!?" when I don't worry about those things with Finn.  If I apply the same logic, things WILL work out, she will outgrow whatever stage/funk she is in, she will grow and change and evolve.  If I don't worry about Finn doing these things, I can't worry about Nora doing these things.

Oh I'm rambling.  But.  Point is == don't WORRY.  You will survive this, she will survive this, and it'll be ok.  

 

I love this quote:

 

“Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times. Demonstrate that people can be trusted, that the environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe.” = peggy o'mara

 

hug2.gif

post #342 of 409
hug.gif JJ. It's tough. I agree with everything Carrie said.

I was the same with Ryan. I got upset over everything, wondering what I was doing wrong, what was wrong with him. I now realize that the answer to both of those questions was nothing. One of the best things I learned was to just go with the flow, not try to force things. I can't make another person do anything they really don't want to do.
post #343 of 409

PS Love Adelyn. 

 

PPS.  Looking at newborn pictures of Finn and totally decided i'm not done having babies.  NEEEEEDD more babies!!

post #344 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Aw, JJ.  Take a few deep breaths.  Things WILL get better.  You're not a bad mama.  If you're at the end of your rope, take a break.  Getting angry with her isn't a good place to be, so breathe deep.  This too shall pass.

 

Maybe don't try to get her to sleep.  Let her play.  Let her get exhausted.  Wear her out.  You know, there's a reason why I run myself ragged all day -- if I don't tire these kids out, they don't go down easy.  Did Ten nap ok today?

Sometimes in the middle of the night, if/when they wake, if I'm angry, I make myself laugh.  I think of a good thought.  I know it'll pass and I know that they will outgrow it.

 

One of the posts I'm working on for my blog is about how different it is this second time around.  With Nora I worried and got angry when she would wake thru the night, or not go to sleep.  With Finn, I take it for what it is, and work thru it and try not to get angry b/c I do know it will end.  

I'm trying to apply that same logic to Nora now, as she goes thru what she's going thru, her growing pains.  I wonder why I freak out about her hitting, for example, or throwing fits, or not listening, and wonder "What am I doing wrong, how do I fix it!?" when I don't worry about those things with Finn.  If I apply the same logic, things WILL work out, she will outgrow whatever stage/funk she is in, she will grow and change and evolve.  If I don't worry about Finn doing these things, I can't worry about Nora doing these things.

Oh I'm rambling.  But.  Point is == don't WORRY.  You will survive this, she will survive this, and it'll be ok.  

 

I love this quote:

 

“Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times. Demonstrate that people can be trusted, that the environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe.” = peggy o'mara

 

hug2.gif

 

Gah. Ok, she's sleeping. I could hear her starting to quiet a bit, and I didn't want to risk her falling asleep after crying. While I totally know my limits and when I need a second away,  I also know that I couldn't stand to let her fall asleep all alone and sad like that :(

 

Her naps have sucked too. She's sleeping 20-30 minutes, and then waking up wide eyed and not going back down, even after nursing. Today though she did actually get a one hour one in, but then basically didn't nap at all in the afternoon- 15 minutes maybe at about 530? 

 

We've tried keeping her up later, but she starts to absolutely melt down at about 715pm every day, sometimes it's not even that late. If we wait longer she's pretty much inconsolable. Last night was the same with getting her to bed, and then she finally fell asleep, slept for 10 minutes after I put her down, and then woke up wide awake. I brought her out here into the living room, and tried to put her down to play, and she was a shrieky mess. She wouldn't even sit with DH while I poured myself a drink and got myself ready to bed. I took her to bed with me, thinking maybe a change of scenery would help. Even nursing sidelying, it still took three switches of sides and about 30 minutes to get her to fall back asleep. DH slept on the couch because he didn't want to be in there with us. I don't blame him, I kinda wanted the couch! lol  

 

I've been trying to keep her busier, because I thought the same thing, and DH has asked it too, that maybe she's just bored during the day and not getting enough excitement, but we've been going outside, and we got a new toy we've been exploring (it's one of those big wooden cubes with different things on each side), and every day this week we've had an aunt come over to play and visit... but none of it seems to be making a difference. I don't know if going out out would help, as in going to the mall, or somewhere on the bus or something. I may have to try. 

 

I totally totally get what you mean about not worrying. It's just the lack of sleep. I try so ahrd to stay positive day to day, but I am so freaking tired, and then nighttime rolls around, and I start out so positive that tonight will bet he night, she's going to sleep well, and we're going to get rest, etc etc etc... and then she starts up again, and all I can think is "I'm literally too tired to walk the house with you baby, I'm going to fall over!" Sometimes when she cried in the middle of the night, honestly the thought of having to go to her makes me dizzy. And I know the obvious answer for most AP parents is to bring her into the bed, but it's worse. I barely slept at all last night. I was hoping maybe that would be the magic key, but I keep trying it again and again, and it just doesn't work. 

 

Anyways, I'm just saying, I get what you mean, and I think if I could just get enough/more sleep, then I wouldn't care. I know that developmentally, she's going to get through it, and it's all good and normal etc etc. It's just that that doesn't help when she's going on 90 minutes of fighting sleep, or her 8th wakeup of the night, and I want to cry I'm so tired, kwim? 

 

And yes yes yes! Love that quote. That's why every time I leave the room, I come back as soon as I can. I'm frustrated. I need a break. I need to collect my thoughts. But I don't for a second look at it as her needing to just push through it and fall asleep. That makes me sad. :( I like when she falls asleep in my arms, cozy and dreaming peacefully! 

 

ok, now I'm gonna go eat the food I cooked and burnt 45 minutes ago, and take some more deep breaths.  I feel like sometimes all I do is vent to you guys, but you keep me sane, honestly. <3

post #345 of 409

Oh, and I forgot the kicker. 

 

AF returned today. :(

 

And I was wearing khaki shorts. 

 

And I have a beach trip planned for Friday. 

post #346 of 409

Could she be teething?  Not that you haven't thought of that already.  I think the teething strips are a freaking GODSEND.

 

I hope you get some sleep.  I really honestly truly feel your pain.  Nora was Tenley.  And you WILL survive.  And so will she.  And someday, you'll go to tuck her in bed, and she'll look at you with those big eyes and say, "Just go, mama.  I'm really tired."  Like Nora did tonight.  And your work will all have been worth it.  hug.gif

 

POX ON AF!!  censored.gif   You knew it.  You knew she was coming!!!  Ugh.  I'm sorry!!!  Hopefully by then she'll have slowed down so you can enjoy the beach!!!

post #347 of 409

She is teething, but she's been dosed up on teething tablets, and off and on with tylenol too. It seems like it helps sometimes, but nights like tonight, she wasn't showing any teething pain, no chewing, no intense need to nurse, no fingers in her mouth... just... fussy and wired. At least when I can tell it's teething pain I have tons and tons of sympathy for her! lol

 

 

AF- I know, at least I could tell she was on her way and had a heads up. I think that makes it like a 6 day LP though or something like that. lol. I know it'll change though. It'll be interesting to see what my patterns do these next few months. It used to be like clockwork. 

 

I need to go buy a bathing suit tomorrow. I'm both dreading it and looking forward to it. My boobs look freaking fantastic. My love handles... well, multiple people could hold on for dear life. lol. 

post #348 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwoten View Post

Even nursing sidelying, it still took three switches of sides and about 30 minutes to get her to fall back asleep.

What is going on with that girl?!

Honestly, though, this is what I do every night several times a night when D nurses. I really think that's within normal. I don't know what else to say about it. That probably doesn't help or make you feel any better.

Can your dh take her at least once during the night so you can get some sleep? Or hire a mother's helper to come over during the day so you can get a break, some rest, or maybe even some sleep? It's ok to make it a big deal.

I'm in between bathing suit sizes. My nursing suit is too big. If I jumped in the water, the bottoms would probably fall off. lol.gif But my regular suit is still a little too tight for my liking, especially in the boobs.

I'm up because everyone is asleep and I want some "me" time. Finishing up a pair of socks. I'll regret it tomorrow, I'm sure.
post #349 of 409

I actually stopped temping and am only recording CF until I see signs of fertility again.  angry.gif  It was too much thought and I'm having wayyyyy too many ttc thoughts (which I knew would happen)!  I know myself too well.  I need to take a step back.  I do like temping/charting b/c I can know when to expect AF but if nothing is happening I just get way too in my head about things.  

 

Ugh, Poor JJ.  I'm going to vote phase.  She gave you a few good nights to regroup and now she's back at it again.  I'm sorry.  

 

Finn had a rougher than normal night too.  Lots of nursing, I know I even switched sides which means he did more than twice in a row on one side (any more than that and I leak too much and get engorged still...) and twice on the other, and then he was up by 7!  Coffee!  Please!!  Stat!!!

 

Going to the beach today!  My bathing suit is good.  I'm almost tempted to wear my two piece but I think I'll just wear my tankini.  Much easier to chase kids and not worry about love handles and fat rolls. 

post #350 of 409
Omg. AF just showed up. Exactly 28.days but that was totally annovulatory. Punk!

Sent from my SGH-T959 using Tapatalk
post #351 of 409
Thread Starter 

Boo for AF travelling along beach trips!

 

JJ: totally a phase.

 

I have a migrain today. + early pregnancy exhaustion = mama is sleeping or laying on the couch all day in a heated fog. ugh. Need to feel better!

post #352 of 409
Carrie ~ I had several cycles like that after Ethan before I finally Oed. Then my cycles got all wacky again.

I've been meaning to comment on how adding another baby would affect the older kids. For me, it was pretty easy going from 1 LO to 2 but it's been a lot harder going from 2 to 3. I feel like Kellen, being the middle one, gets the short end of the stick most of the time. They all get shorted some, though. Ethan missed out on playing baseball this spring because I just could not stay here for 2 months on my own again right after Sean had gotten home. Dylan doesn't get as much attention as Ethan or even Kellen did as a baby because sometimes I have to do something for the other two.

I think if I could be totally unemotional about it and knew before what I know now, I probably would not have had Dylan. I hope that doesn't sound horrible. I don't regret having him and I love him immeasurably but, if I had known how hard this would be for me, I might have chosen to be content with what I had.
post #353 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I think if I could be totally unemotional about it and knew before what I know now, I probably would not have had Dylan. I hope that doesn't sound horrible. I don't regret having him and I love him immeasurably but, if I had known how hard this would be for me, I might have chosen to be content with what I had.

I totally understand. It's like.........you would never give any of your kids back and love them immeasurably, but sometimes hind sight is 20/20! lol.gif

 

Carrie - I'm not sure how having a younger child effects the older ones. In my mind I loved being in a bigger family, and raising all these littles is exhausting! And of course I wasn't even trying OR whatevering for Ana - but I love that I have my four girls. Just my own personal experience/feelings. Also, my best friends are my family members, and I at least want to give that opportunity to them. If they don't like each other anyways, whatev! 

 

I can't think of everything else that was said - I haven't had much computer access. 

 

I am still evacuated greensad.gif As far as I can tell my house should be standing. No one has been able to go back there, and the people who lost their homes are being notified today. It sux - word is it is about 300 homes lost. Soooo sad. 

 

No word on when we will be let back in. With that many homes burned I can only imagine. 

post #354 of 409
Thread Starter 
LaurI, how sad! Praying for yOu all.

Yes I am iPhone typing.

MW: I understand, I have an IRL friend that feels te same way about her third. You just never know, though.
post #355 of 409
annie ~ I didn't realize you had evacuated. Where are you staying? Evacuating sucks! I need to get our hurricane emergency supplies replenished.

Kat ~ Hope you are feeling better.

So true, too, that you never know. Obviously, there was no way for me to know how hard this would be for me and I would have regretted immensely if I hadn't had Dylan. I wanted him so badly. I am absolutely certain now, though, that I am done! dizzy.gif If I got pg by accident, I would have and love that child but I will do everything in my power and comfort level to prevent that at this point.
post #356 of 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Omg. AF just showed up. Exactly 28.days but that was totally annovulatory. Punk!

Maybe we'll be cycle buddies and we can be miserable together! lol

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by annie2186 View Post

 

I am still evacuated greensad.gif As far as I can tell my house should be standing. No one has been able to go back there, and the people who lost their homes are being notified today. It sux - word is it is about 300 homes lost. Soooo sad. 

 

No word on when we will be let back in. With that many homes burned I can only imagine. 

:( I can't imagine. I don't remember, where are you guys staying?

 

 

We have a toofer!!  Kind of... You can't see it, but you can see the the skin split overnight, and you can feel it with your finger. 

 

So she slept from 920ish until 1130, and then was up every 45 minutes until around 330, when she woke up and absolutely wouldn't go back down. Somewhere around 530 DH finally relaxed her enough, and I nursed her back to sleep in our bed. She slept a lot better after that (but I mean she also cried for almost two hours...)  Then she slept for about 50 minutes this morning at grammies (DH was with her while I ran to the store to find a bathing suit.)  And then this afternoon her and I slept for almost 2 hours. 

 

TONIGHT WILL BE MAGNIFICENT!!!  I'm using every ounce of positive thinking I have. 

post #357 of 409

We've got the teething woes here too and it's rough. Poor thing moaned in her sleep from about 6-9 AM until she finally woke up for the day. greensad.gif We went to the water wall again and this time my mom came with my nieces. Ava had a good time but she didn't want people getting up and moving around. She would start stressing out thinking they were leaving her. I can't wait until she starts walking so she can follow after them.

 

I could never understand the moms in large families that would say it's actually easier with more kids but now I totally get it. Especially with older kids, it's so much easier taking care of Ava when the big kids are home. They entertain her so I can pump and get stuff done. Tomorrow night DH and I are going out to dinner with one of our married couple friends to celebrate the husband's birthday and the big kids are watching Ava. orngbiggrin.gif

 

Annie, keep us posted. I hope everything is ok with your house!

post #358 of 409
Thread Starter 
Praying for good sleep for everybody. DH is home late, so I think I will not actIvely try to do bedtime, just let them fall asleep.

I am not nearly as stresses about milk supply on non pumping days. There is clearly less milk, but seems to be enough.

Norah's teeh are the same way, I can feel them but not see them.
post #359 of 409

Cross-Posting from my AP group...  The whole group is doing a group beach trip tomorrow. I've been talking about it since Monday, and then today left Ten with DH so I could go buy a bathing suit. A few hours AFTER I get home from buying a bathing suit FOR the trip, Rob tells me that he doesn't think we should go. *blink blink*   It's a high UV day tomorrow, but it likely won't even reach 80F. 

 

 

Vent. So... We're not coming to the beach day tomorrow. Because my husband thinks it's too hot out. Ok, I get that, so I went through the list of precautions I was planning on taking- UV swimsuit and hat, sunscreen, an umbrella for the beach, the wind, the water, a spray bottle with water in it, to mist her down, taking advantage of shade... And then asked my husband if he was saying he thought I was going to put my enjoyment at the beach above the health of my daughter-- and his response was "Ehhhh....." and just kind of shrugged. *%^#. I'm so fed up with him questioning my parenting choices, and insinuating I'm just not paying attention. He constantly makes comments about how I treat him like a bad parent, but if I said half the things he did, he'd freak. Today alone, he tsk tsked me for giving her too big a piece of food, then told me I always overpack way too much stuff for her everytime we go out (Hello, I'm the one out with her 90% of the time. I know what she needs), and then telling me that he thinks I'm going to sacrifice her in order to have fun at the beach. Like I'm -actually- going to sit there and let her heat stroke out while I'm chatting away. Arg! I -get- that he was concerned about the heat. But I'm not stupid, and I was taking precautions to ensure neither of us got overheated. I'm sorry, but that should have been enough to convince him that I wasn't going to be stupid about it. But then to actually admit that he thought I was going to ignore her needs. *sigh*. Sorry guys, I'm angry and moody right now due to lack of sleep, AF returning and now getting all excited about something I'm not going to get to go to. Yay for another day in which I sit at home and do nothing.

 

 

I'm so pissed guys. He keeps us from so many things because he says he wants to experience them with her- but then when I try to get him to go- he never wants to go! So the whole freaking summer is going to pass us by, and we're not going to have done anything. Yay for wasting my mat leave. 

post #360 of 409
JJ ~ I'd go anyway, especially if you feel that strongly about getting out of the house.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › June Rockstar (formerly Whatever'ing) Mamas 2012