Aw, JJ. Take a few deep breaths. Things WILL get better. You're not a bad mama. If you're at the end of your rope, take a break. Getting angry with her isn't a good place to be, so breathe deep. This too shall pass.
Maybe don't try to get her to sleep. Let her play. Let her get exhausted. Wear her out. You know, there's a reason why I run myself ragged all day -- if I don't tire these kids out, they don't go down easy. Did Ten nap ok today?
Sometimes in the middle of the night, if/when they wake, if I'm angry, I make myself laugh. I think of a good thought. I know it'll pass and I know that they will outgrow it.
One of the posts I'm working on for my blog is about how different it is this second time around. With Nora I worried and got angry when she would wake thru the night, or not go to sleep. With Finn, I take it for what it is, and work thru it and try not to get angry b/c I do know it will end.
I'm trying to apply that same logic to Nora now, as she goes thru what she's going thru, her growing pains. I wonder why I freak out about her hitting, for example, or throwing fits, or not listening, and wonder "What am I doing wrong, how do I fix it!?" when I don't worry about those things with Finn. If I apply the same logic, things WILL work out, she will outgrow whatever stage/funk she is in, she will grow and change and evolve. If I don't worry about Finn doing these things, I can't worry about Nora doing these things.
Oh I'm rambling. But. Point is == don't WORRY. You will survive this, she will survive this, and it'll be ok.
I love this quote:
“Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times. Demonstrate that people can be trusted, that the environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe.” = peggy o'mara