I am 10 weeks pregnant with my third child. I have a 4 yr old son and a 21mo old daughter. My DH and I have been having a rough couple of years (according to him, during our arguments). Its been a difficult adjustment to having kids and finding time for us as well. We were just starting to get back to good and then I got pregnant. I was not thrilled about being pregnant right now, I want another baby but it just felt too soon. DH was excited at first, way more than I was. I started spotting around week 5 for almost a whole week, but it was so light, less than an ounce or two lost total. During that time, I was really sad to think about losing this little baby I had just started to think about having in my life. The bleeding stopped and other early, first trimester symptoms have manifested - like (all day) morning sickness, and so I have hope that things are still progressing as they should. I told our family and a few really close friends already, once I started to feel more secure in this pregnancy. If I miscarried, they would be helpful for support.
But for the last few weeks DH keeps bringing up the topic of abortion - guys at work that have done it and said it was the best thing they did, one who gave his wife the abortion pills without her knowing and that led to a miscarriage, that there is still time to get an abortion, etc. It really breaks my heart, and since I am not feeling 100% happy about this pregnancy, it just makes me depressed and I feel alone. He also now tells me he was done having kids at 2; but he never had that convo with me prior to getting pregnant this time. Fine time to tell me.
A lot of it could be emotional from being pregnant. But what do I do? How much does the father's choice matter in having a baby? How can I decide to carry this baby, knowing it could mean the end of my marriage? How do I decide to stop this baby from being born, to honor DH's choice? I am pro-choice and have talked about the hypothetical possibility of getting an abortion with DH very early in our relationship (we've been together 14 yrs, since HS). But it doesn't seem like the right option for me at this point, with this baby. I've told him this when he's brought up abortion. So now, if I complain about feeling sick or being super tired, he just says 'Well, there's an easy solution to that, isn't there. Shmsmortion (abortion).' How horrible is that?
I just needed a space to be with this. Not sure that there is anything that can help, but just being able to put outside of my head helps.