or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › A Peaceful Pregnancy
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

A Peaceful Pregnancy - Page 11

post #201 of 370
Thanks for the thoughtful and reassuring replies ladies! I am going to sleep on it this weekend before deciding about where to continue my backup care. Neither option is comfortable, per se, so I'll be weighing all the pros and cons.
Interestingly, I did the repeat a1c and it was well within normal range at 4.8. Since this test measured 2-3 months' worth of blood glucose levels, it's fair to assume the first result of 6.4 was an error. It's virtually impossible to lower one's a1c so dramatically in 1.5 months...and I didn't dramatically change my diet or add more exercise! Anyhow, I'm much relieved. And, I am reinforced that I know my body best.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
Edited by haurelia - 4/5/13 at 8:09pm
post #202 of 370

Just checking in with all you peaceful mamas. I'm wondering what you have all been doing recently to maintain balance and calm? I have felt remarkable okay, despite major exhaustion and some weepiness associated with the extreme fatigue. I just returned from a whirlwind tour of Washington, DC with my 8th grade students. They were incredibly well behaved and generally fantastic. I was so very proud of them!! But the after midnight bedtimes and endless walking (hello walking from 7am until 11pm!) has taken a toll on my body and I am totally wiped out. I have a super busy day tomorrow and then back to my usual courses. I'm going on Tuesday for the Harmony Prenatal Test. With my DD I wasn't  really interested in labwork like that but I'm older now (36, soon to be 37) so it seems like a good idea to have more information. I feel relaxed about it now, we'll see how the 10 day wait goes!! Anyone else do the Harmony or MaterniT21 test?

 

Wishing you all a very peaceful day namaste.gif

post #203 of 370

Sparklemaman, we had our big anatomy scan a week ago and that was definitely a milestone for me and a reassuring thing. I've been pretty laid back in general since I sort of started feeling pretty early on that there is really nothing else to do besides letting nature take its course.

We took some sort of genetic screening test at 12 weeks, not sure what it was called but it was one of the less detailed ones, she had me put 6 drops of blood on a postcard... After getting those results I relaxed and then the anatomy scan really helped too.

 

DH and I have been slowly working on the unfinished projects in the house, I certainly still feel like we have all the time in the world, September feels so far away especially since it hasn't gotten terribly hot here yet (we did get up to 80 last week). I think once the summer really hits, i.e. 100 degree days in June, it'll probably become more urgent.

 

We went to a big second-hand sale today and it was fun to look at cheap baby stuff. Got some one piece suit thingies with zippers for $1-2 a piece, how can you go wrong? It was also nice to have DH come along and actually see him get excited about some of these things.

 

I think as a general rule my fears about something going wrong with the pregnancy have faded as I'm getting further along. So now I feel like I'm in this blissfully ignorant "I don't know what it's like to have a newborn in the house" state. Not yet in "oh my god we're actually going to have a baby" panic mode.

post #204 of 370

I actually didn't go for any of the additional testing early on, even though I'll be 38 when the baby is born and DH is 40.  The ultrasound was a week ago and everything looks good.  :)  I had kind of already decided against it when I talked to a friend of mine who did do it (they're even older than us) and even though they say it's more accurate, they still had a big freak out for no reason and they're telling all of their friends to stay away. lol.gif  That kind of sealed the deal with me.  I certainly don't begrudge anyone that does decide to do it though, it sounds like it's much more reliable than the old methods.

 

I don't know, I've been so busy and tired, I almost don't have time to freak out.  And this baby is SO active, it's hard to go very long without a reminder.  :)

 

Thanks for bumping the thread up Sparkle, hope your test goes well and those 10 days go by quickly!

post #205 of 370

We did the general first and second trimester screenings with NT scan.  Our provider doesn't offer Harmony or Materniti21, but I think they sound really cool.  It would be great to have more info without doing something more invasive.  I was 37 at the time, and our results were great so that was a big relief.  In the second trimester, I felt a lot less anxiety about something being wrong.  I hope that is true for all of you.  I was worried a little about my placenta previa, but that wouldn't hurt the baby, and it resolved itself so it's not a worry anymore.  It seems like the second trimester is so much better because you don't feel as sick and maybe there are more happy pregnancy hormones.  I felt great most of the time.  Now I am starting to feel uncomfortable and more anxious.  Sleeping is getting a little harder, and the baby moving around can feel not so good sometimes.  I am trying to prepare for the birth, and find daycare, but I am a terrible procrastinator and putting it off makes me feel more anxious.  Vicious cycle.  We are doing fine with getting things ready for the baby, and we are finishing up our childbirth class, and we have a newborn care class scheduled.  I am also well into Birthing from Within so I feel like I am getting there on labor prep.  We just need to practice our coping techniques and such.  I have been listening to some birth hypnosis and meditations which are very relaxing.  They put me to sleep, but I think that's OK.  I am also going to yoga, but sometimes I am tired and just want to be home.  Those are the big things I am doing to deal with stress or anxiety.  At this point, I am not so worried about the baby being OK, but sometimes I get nervous about him coming early.  In part because I want everything to be ready at work before I leave, and partly because I want the baby to be full-term and healthy.  It seems as you go along, there is less to worry about when it comes to being pregnant and the baby being healthy, but there is more to think about in terms of actually being a parent.  You spend a lot more time taking care of the child than being pregnant and giving birth, so it makes sense to prepare for that part too.

post #206 of 370

Thanks for the bump, Sparkle! And good to hear from you. I can't imagine going on that trip. Wow, I'm exhausted just thinking about it! I definitely find that if I push it that much with physical activity I pay the price for a couple days after. Even at almost 16 weeks, my best days include putting my feet up for a few hours in the afternoon. 

 

Dakipode, I'm definitely also in that "we have all the time in the world" stage right now. I haven't been too stressed about anything going wrong either, just trying to let it be what it will be, but I guess some of that has to do with this being my first rodeo and not really having any risk factors. So I just cross my fingers that it continues and carry on. 

 

Afm, I've been away from MDC for a few weeks, both because of some work travel and also just feeling kind of distant, but I missed you all and I'm glad to be back. One of my struggles was that I was having a hard time connecting to some of the people in my DDC. I think part of it is just that there are so many people to keep track of! Anyway, I really enjoy this community here. All around lately I'm just trying to accept pregnancy for what it is, reminding myself every day that it is both OK and possible to feel extremely grateful to be pregnant while also not loving all the symptoms and changes that come along with it. My energy hasn't gotten that famous "2nd tri surge" yet, but boy am I ready for it. Some people in my family and work life have had irritating reactions to my pregnancy. I'm not very "girlie" and I'm struggling to find maternity clothes that I feel comfortable in. And overall I just miss feeling more active. But the good news is that I'm finally feeling my appetite come back. For the last week I've been craving mixed greens with balsamic dressing, which is such a relief because now I don't have to worry that my baby will be a giant english muffin! I was really disappointed in how much empty carbs I was eating but I just didn't have the stomach for anything healthier. DW has been the most amazing rock of support and encouragement to be patient with myself and take it all one day at a time. 

 

Everyone has to make the best decision for themselves about the genetic testing. I'd just like to share a family experience that I think offers a different point of view than a lot of people get to hear. My niece has special needs. It's not Down's but it's similar. My SIL was pregnant in her early thirties and I think my BIL was about mid/late thirties. Anyway, it was low-risk, and they had no idea in advance that anything could be out of the ordinary. When my niece was born there just happened to be a doc in the maternity wing who was well-versed in my niece's disability. He noticed a faint but significant trait in her profile that is common in people with this condition, and suggested testing. This really affected the birth experience. Rather than just getting to be elated and snuggly with their newborn, my BIL & SIL were confused and upset as their newborn daughter was whisked off for testing. Now, let me be clear, they would not change a thing about her. Her special needs are part of her wonderful uniqueness. BUT, had they know in advance, they would have had a few advantages: 1) they could have just focused on the experience of the birth of their first child without the immediate tests and stress 2) they could have prepared themselves emotionally for what this would mean for them, 3) they could have been prepared in advance with information on recommended treatment and resources available to help, rather than having do all that research at the same time that they were trying to just adapt to having a newborn at home for the first time. As it was, the early diagnosis enabled them to take advantage of physical therapy and other available treatment almost immediately, which is largely credited for how well she is doing today. We will never know how long diagnosis and treatment may have been delayed had that doctor not been in the hospital that day. 

post #207 of 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post
I am a terrible procrastinator and putting it off makes me feel more anxious.  Vicious cycle.  

 Hi Pokey! I almost missed your post, I think we were typing at the same time. Oh boy, this quote is going to be me at some point, I'm just sure of it. It's usually not an issue for things like work because I just try to accept that I work best under pressure and it always gets done, but really, that's not how I want to go into life with a newborn! I can hardly believe how far along you are, I remember when you got your BFP and here you are getting so close! You may feel like a procrastinator but I would say as an outsider that I'm impressed by how much you have done already. Makes me think I better start reading something... haha! I have the books but have had no desire to open them yet. When did you start your child birth class?

post #208 of 370
Seconding Sphinxy. I am a horrible procrastinator. With my firstborn, I insisted upon a trip to Target during active labor due to not having a diaper pail. (This might have contributed to how I had my eldest in the car on the way to the hospital.) She was born a few daya after her EDD, so I have no excuse beyond disorganization.
Sphinxy: Subsitute ranch dressing on the greens and I've really been digging the same thing. I wish I craved a healthy vinegrette instead... I blame my kids for making it look so good. It's the only way they'll eat salad (and then they will gorge on it, which I kind of love having kids gorge on salad).
AFM: 15 weeks on Wednesday and feeling much more peaceful about the pregnancy, but still not ready to tell extended family and friends or switch to my homebirth practice. Still sort of in denial we will have another!
post #209 of 370
Lol revolting, I am a ranch fiend! I use it on almost everything - potatoes, veggies, roast chicken, I even mix it in with rice sometimes if it comes out too bland. But this last week, I don't know, it's like I can't get the flavor of balsamic vinegar out of my mind! I could drink a bottle of it, it is tasting so good!
post #210 of 370

sphinxy, speaking of drinking vinegar: I've been drinking kombucha daily. Partially because of the antibiotics I had to take and I just want to rebuild and support my body but I also find that I'm craving it. I don't make it myself but I was lucky to find a sale at vitamin cottage so that's how I can afford it.

post #211 of 370

Sphinxy-Balsamic vinegar is great on strawberries with some sugar!  That would be a good treat for summertime.  I'm sorry you're having trouble with maternity clothes.  They do tend to be toward the hyper-girlie side.  Men's shirts would probably work for a while because they are longer than women's shirts.  I'm sorry you've had some strange reactions to your pregnancy.  I think sometimes people forget that a woman has a working uterus she may want to use to bear a child no matter what she looks like or who she loves.  We started our childbirth class at the beginning of this month.  I didn't want to cut it too close to the due date.  I really like the teacher and I think it's a very good class.  I wasn't sure what to expect since it's being taught at our hospital.  I've taken childbirth classes before for doula training but this class is really for DW to prepare and learn and for me to get ready to be the one giving birth.  It's very different when it's you and not someone else.  Thank you for being impressed by my preparedness!  That is funny.  Part of my procrastination problem is that I hate calling people on the phone I don't know.  It's just not possible to arrange for childcare exclusively over the internet.  greensad.gif  I'm an introvert, and this process means calling lots of strangers and getting to know them better.  It's a little overwhelming for me.  All the other stuff I can handle, and I know everything will get done at some point.  Babies only need so much when they are born. 

 

It makes me so happy when I see everyone's little tickers moving along!  I'm so glad all of you are here.

post #212 of 370

I've been kind of nervous the past couple of days waiting for my big 20 week anatomy scan. I just had it today, and everything looks good! I'm so relieved. DH and I are also super excited to find out it is a girl just like we wanted! She was moving around and folded herself up. She also had the hiccups at the beginning. The ultrasound tech said she is very flexible. :-)

 

We didn't do any screening. I'm very prone to anxiety, and I didn't want to give myself anything else to stress over.

 

I'm feeling a bit better every week. I turned into a semi-functional human being around 15 weeks. This last week, I have only vomited 2 days. The 2 days that I did vomit were the days I tried to go without zofran. Guess I have to keep taking it.

 

You guys have me want balsamic vinegar now. That sounds really good!

 

I haven't done much baby preparation myself. I think I've been telling myself not to worry about it until at least the 20 week mark, and here we are!

post #213 of 370
What a great thread and it's nice to see mamas from my DDC here as well.

This pregnancy has been SO stressful for me! It seems when I get a BFP life decides to get real. My DH lost his job when I was about 6wks. It was devistating and we are now dealing with the insurance changing over, EDD and food stamps assistance. All the thing in life that make you feel down and out. It was hard to be happy about this pregnancy at all. And it was planned to the month!

Is it weird that I had a miscarriage at 8wks with an EDD of 9/21 and now I'm here looking at a EDD of 9/29? I wanted a baby in Sept. just because I didn't get to have that when we first tried to conceive. My daughter came shortly thereafter in Dec. so I was able to make it through a pregnancy tho at the time, was very raw still from my m/c. I realize I only had one and some of you ladies suffered many. I just can't imagine. It sure is one of those things you just don't forget.

Only a month ago we thought we'd be moving out of state-- now we are hoping for a job offer to stay put in an area we love!

I'm really not feeling the baby move at 17wks as much as I thought I would. I think I'm having a boy and am excited by really sad because I wanted a sister for my DD. How selfish of me! We are only planning the 2 kids so this will be it. We find out in May either way.

I was saddened today to learn what I thought all along-- that my DH family (mostly aunts a d MIL) gossips about me and I just wish I never had to be involved. I was talking with DHs cousins' wife who was commiserating and letting me in on some drama, that I just don't need to stress about right now being as hormonal as I am. I knew these women talked about me for doing things so different with DD. We didn't formula feed, sleep train, CIO. We really didn't allow her to scream while being held by strangers, to her, these people were complete STRANGERS. DD is an introvert like I am and doesn't like ppl messing with her personal space. Is that so wrong? It's her personality. Not my failings as a new mom. Shame on anyone who sees it differently.

Mothers' Day is coming up and I should be excited but I'm not because my mom passed away 13 years ago. She never met DD, never saw me get married. It's a hard day for me especially now that I'm pregnant with #2 and the first person I want to talk to is her! She'd be a lovely grandma and is why I breastfeed and cosleep with my DD. I have her to thank for everything and am angry about the short time I got to be her daughter. It's not fair.

Hormones are so up and down right now! I'm really loving this thread to process feelings and hoping to get to know you ladies better!
post #214 of 370

Coati I am sorry you've been so sick! That's truly just rotten. I hope it eases up soon but until then, if the Zofran makes it manageable, it's a necessary medication.

 

Welcome Tillymonster!! While this isn't the most active thread, it's a fantastic group of mamas and I think you'll find it to be a warm, supportive place.

 

Pokey Mmmm, balsamic on strawberries! I will be trying that tonight. I've been berry obsessed and that sounds like an amazing addition to already wonderful treat. And I will say that most of what other people told me I 'needed' for DD, I didn't use at all or used very little. I loved my cloth diapers and used my sling tons but other than that, not much else! DD never slept in her fancy crib. I used my breastpump for a few weeks (until it became clear we couldn't get DD to take a bottle) and then I sold it. And most of the other Do Dads, same thing! I found most of what I needed (including clothes and even some cloth diapers) at garage sales in nicer neighborhoods, most new or gently used, for great prices. That way I didn't feel bad if we used an item for a few weeks.

 

Thanks to many of you for the thoughts on testing. I did go ahead and had the bloodwork last Tuesday. I opted not to do the NT scan, as the Harmony results should be more definitive. I decided I want to have as much information as possible, to process and to prepare. I feel confident that things are going well, just a bit anxious about my age and the potential risks. Now I am just waiting. I have my next appointment with my MW next Wednesday. I am hoping they'll have my results before then (and call me!) but definitely hope by then. I don't want to call and ask, as just getting the test ordered correctly was a fiasco (they'd never ordered it before) and I don't want to be super annoying. I am normally not worried about things like that, I'm pretty assertive and comfortable asking for what I want, but the front receptionist knows me by name already so, I feel a little weird about that.

post #215 of 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by tillymonster View Post

I was saddened today to learn what I thought all along-- that my DH family (mostly aunts a d MIL) gossips about me and I just wish I never had to be involved. I was talking with DHs cousins' wife who was commiserating and letting me in on some drama, that I just don't need to stress about right now being as hormonal as I am. I knew these women talked about me for doing things so different with DD. We didn't formula feed, sleep train, CIO. We really didn't allow her to scream while being held by strangers, to her, these people were complete STRANGERS. DD is an introvert like I am and doesn't like ppl messing with her personal space. Is that so wrong? It's her personality. Not my failings as a new mom. Shame on anyone who sees it differently.

Mothers' Day is coming up and I should be excited but I'm not because my mom passed away 13 years ago. She never met DD, never saw me get married. It's a hard day for me especially now that I'm pregnant with #2 and the first person I want to talk to is her! She'd be a lovely grandma and is why I breastfeed and cosleep with my DD. I have her to thank for everything and am angry about the short time I got to be her daughter. It's not fair.

tilly, I hope you have a supportive family unit between your DH and DD. Various events in my life led me to believe that I had to be emotionally selfish/self-reliant from an early age. Sometimes it's less than ideal and gets in the way of my making deeper connections with people, sometimes it's helpful and keeps me from getting hurt by other people's opinions of me and my actions. Know that you don't need anyone else's approval. You do what you think is in your and your family's best interest and everybody else's opinion is just that: their value judgement of your situation.

I'm sorry that you weren't able to share your mothering experience with your own mother. Do you plan to honor her in some way on Mother's Day? I always feel like I have some of the corniest ideas but here's one suggestion: what about starting a journal for your daughter in which you share your fondest memories of your mom? That way she can get to know her grandma as well.

I know from our DDC that you've been having a tough time throughout this pregnancy so far and I just want to say keep your chin up! You will do what is necessary to take care of yourself and your family because you are a strong person and you will make it trough this rough patch.

 

sparklemaman, definitely keep us posted about the test results.

 

re: vinegar etc. I discovered a new combo yesterday: the asiago/parmesan shavings combo from Trader Joe's on mixed greens with italian dressing. The italian just gives it that slightly vinegary taste on the salty chewiness of the cheese...

 

Anyone else feel like 4-5 weeks is just too long between appointments? Especially in the beginning when, even though medically there is nothing to do, mentally there is so much to do. I was way more motivated in the beginning to learn all about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding etc. but it seems like the care model is only concerned with getting the baby out safely towards the end and really doesn't worry about the mom's mental state in the beginning which can be so vulnerable when dealing with something new. How do you second time moms feel about the time between appts?

post #216 of 370
Daki - This will hopefully be my third living child, and I pushed to have my next appointment 6 weeks after my previous one. If my care provider would have let me wait two months, I probably would. My care provider is kind of far, and I always have to bring at least one child. I do feel very vulnerable with this pregnancy on the heels of so many miscarriage, but I still prefer pretty hands-off care.
post #217 of 370

tilly-I'm sorry your family has been talking about you behind your back.  You know you are doing what is right for you and that is what matters.  Could you ask the relative who shared the info with you not to tell you that kind of stuff anymore?  It's not very helpful to you if it only causes you stress.  Some gossip is better not shared.  I'm glad things are turning around for you and DH and that you might be able to stay where you are.  I hope the job comes through!  I'm sorry your mother is not here to celebrate Mother's Day and your impending birth with you.  Like dakipode said, this could be a great time to honor her memory and the wonderful mother she helped you become.

 

dakipode-I read something that fits with your feelings about how far apart appointments are.  I don't remember who was saying it, but they said that there should be more appointments in the beginning when you have a chance to learn about nutrition and really taking care of yourself during pregnancy and fewer appointments later.  It seems like more of a midwifery model to me.  I see an OB, but I have heard that midwife appointments can be an hour long or so because they spend so much time educating and talking along with checking on your vitals and such.  The OB model does seem to be more concerned with looking for possible problems.  I don't mind the gap so much myself.

 

AFM-I had my 32 week appointment on Friday and the baby's heart rate was a little high so my doctor sent me for a non-stress test to monitor the baby's heart for a while.  He was super duper active and moving all over the place and every time he moved, his heart rate would go up.  When he rested for a minute, it would go back down.  He never totally calmed down but they said they weren't so worried that they would keep us.  We were told to go to L&D if his activity slowed down a lot or we were worried and to come back on Monday for another test.  So we went yesterday, and he was super calm.  They actually wanted him to move more.  Moody baby I guess.  I don't know why he was so active the other day, but he seems to be just fine.  We knew it was probably nothing to worry about, but whenever they tell you something might be wrong it just makes me worried and paranoid.  If he didn't move for a while, I got nervous and just wanted him to move to let me know he was ok.  Now, I'm just going to take it easy.  He's still head down and that is good news.

post #218 of 370

dakipode, I know what you mean about wanting more frequent appointments. I especially found it hard to wait for the very first appointment. I wanted information! In the first trimester, I think I was going in every 3 weeks or so, just because of spacing with the confirmation ultrasound and such. Now that I go every 4 weeks, it sometimes feels like it's not enough. It seems like I have new questions every week.

 

This last appointment, I had a really good experience with the ultrasound tech. She was really nice and was explaining everything to me, but when I saw one of the doctors immediately afterwards, she would barely talk to me. She was in a rush, and it felt like she brushed off all my questions. That was unsatisfying. I hope she's not the one I get on the big day.

 

Pokey and Sparklemaman, I have been eating strawberry and spinach salads with balsamic vinegar. So good!

post #219 of 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by dakipode View Post

 

Anyone else feel like 4-5 weeks is just too long between appointments? Especially in the beginning when, even though medically there is nothing to do, mentally there is so much to do. I was way more motivated in the beginning to learn all about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding etc. but it seems like the care model is only concerned with getting the baby out safely towards the end and really doesn't worry about the mom's mental state in the beginning which can be so vulnerable when dealing with something new. How do you second time moms feel about the time between appts?

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

...there should be more appointments in the beginning when you have a chance to learn about nutrition and really taking care of yourself during pregnancy and fewer appointments later.  It seems like more of a midwifery model to me.  I see an OB, but I have heard that midwife appointments can be an hour long or so because they spend so much time educating and talking along with checking on your vitals and such.  The OB model does seem to be more concerned with looking for possible problems.  I don't mind the gap so much myself.

 

 

 

While the midwifery care I've obtained with my first pregnancy and this one doesn't include more frequent appointments than an OB or CNM practice, it definitely includes long appointments with lots of time for discussion of concerns, nutritional counseling, etc.  It's a huge part of the appeal of midwifery care, for me.  In this pregnancy, I'm getting tandem care from an OB practice. My appointment yesterday was about 10 minutes, and included scary talk about preterm birth when I told her I was having BH contractions. When I told my midwife this at our last visit, she said, "yeah, that's normal now. Just pay attention to yourself and if they're happening frequently, slow down, drink and pee."  The two disciplines are just soooo different.  Midwifery care is more supportive of the range of normalcy within pregnancy and birth, IMO, especially homebirth midwifery practices. The medical model puts so little value on nutrition, activity, mental/emotional health (other than "take this antidepressant"), and individual differences.  I don't feel the need to go more frequently for appointments, because my time is well-spent and I can call my midwife at any time with questions, reaching her directly without talking to a nurse, or a receptionist, or a paging operator. 

post #220 of 370

I'm getting my care at a birthcenter with 3 nurse midwives. I always feel valued at the appointments, never hurried. However, I wish I could have one longer appt every month or so and then maybe an optional a short, check-in appt (10 min or so) just for reassurance. In the early stages you can't really tell movement etc so it'd be helpful to have that confirmation that things are still going okay. I'm guessing once I can feel the baby move more often I'll feel more at peace. I'm one of those people who doesn't like phone calls, email is much better for me, but the communication at the birthcenter outside of appts is exclusively done over the phone. To me phone calls are only necessary when you urgently need an answer and since none of my concerns are pressing, just things I wonder about, they go unanswered in between appts.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › A Peaceful Pregnancy