This is such a beautiful thread. I love reading all the stories from over the past year! I am posting in hopes that some newly pregnant women (like myself) can start a fresh wave of connecting with one another in our desires for peace.
I am 31 yo and 5w5d pregnant, praise the Lord, after a miraculous conception following almost 2 years of infertility.
I am a Christian and truly believe in the power of God over the world and our bodies. I realize many of you may not share my specific theological beliefs. . . but it seems that what I really have in common with this community is a shared belief in the mysterious, uncontrollable nature of conception/pregnancy/birth, a belief in the power of practices such as gratitude, and a desire to create the most peaceful internal environment for my baby as possible. I hope I will be welcome here!
While I have not had a pregnancy loss, i think the experience of infertility has somewhat primed me (in a more minor way, of course) to NOT trust my body to do what it is meant to do. that being said, I want to learn PEACE and not just optimism .i think optimism is good, but I guess I believe that true peace is something more. it's saying that whether or not things turn out as I envision, whether or not the horrible outcome happens, that all will be well. i was really working on cultivating that mindset while struggling with the infertiilty. . .now this pregnancy comes with a whole new set of challenges.
i have been having brown spotting since the beginning, and 2 days ago I had some bright red spotting. I am trying not to embrace terror and fear. I had a dr's appt this AM due to the spotting, where I had a transabd u/s (but refused a transvag. . .that's an issue for another time) and they could visualize a fuzzy embryonic sac. they also drew my Hcg again. I know that based on my first blood Hcg, the levels should be 7000-14000 by now. hoping for the best while trying to know that if the news is bad, all will still be well. I have been blessed with so much in life. . .i can't even name all the things I am grateful for.
and I am giving thanks that for today, I am still pregnant and I am not having heavy bleeding or strong cramping. for that, i praise God.
look forward to chatting with you all over the coming weeks/months!