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A Peaceful Pregnancy - Page 18

post #341 of 370

Hello!

This is such a beautiful thread. I love reading all the stories from over the past year! I am posting in hopes that some newly pregnant women (like myself) can start a fresh wave of connecting with one another in our desires for peace. 

 

I am 31 yo and 5w5d pregnant, praise the Lord, after a miraculous conception following almost 2 years of infertility. 

 

I am a Christian and truly believe in the power of God over the world and our bodies. I realize many of you may not share my specific theological beliefs. . .  but it seems that what I really have in common with this community is a shared belief in the mysterious, uncontrollable nature of conception/pregnancy/birth, a belief in the power of practices such as gratitude, and a desire to create the most peaceful internal environment for my baby as possible. I hope I will be welcome here!

 

While I have not had a pregnancy loss, i think the experience of infertility has somewhat primed me (in a more minor way, of course) to NOT trust my body to do what it is meant to do. that being said, I want to learn PEACE and not just optimism .i think optimism is good, but I guess I believe that true peace is something more. it's saying that whether or not things turn out as I envision, whether or not the horrible outcome happens, that all will be well. i was really working on cultivating that mindset while struggling with the infertiilty. . .now this pregnancy comes with a whole new set of challenges.

 

i have been having brown spotting since the beginning, and 2 days ago I had some bright red spotting. I am trying not to embrace terror and fear. I had a dr's appt this AM due to the spotting, where I had a transabd u/s (but refused a transvag. . .that's an issue for another time) and they could visualize a fuzzy embryonic sac. they also drew my Hcg again. I know that based on my first blood Hcg, the levels should be 7000-14000 by now. hoping for the best while trying to know that if the news is bad, all will still be well. I have been blessed with so much in life. . .i can't even name all the things I am grateful for. 

 

and I am giving thanks that for today, I am still pregnant and I am not having heavy bleeding or strong cramping. for that, i praise God. 

 

look forward to chatting with you all over the coming weeks/months!

post #342 of 370

Hi,   Glad to have found this forum.  I'm 6 weeks with rainbow baby #7, after 4 losses.  I'm constantly worrying about what we will see at the US on October 3rd!  After 4 losses, I keep telling myself something must be wrong with this baby.  I constantly wonder why doesn't my stomach feel tight?  My whole body aches especially my neck & shoulders.  I've heard so many horror stories about US results where they found no heartbeat.  I have been doing pregnancy affirmations, visualization, & Yoga but I can't stop the bad thoughts.  They just keep replaying.  Anyone have ideas on how to stop this insanity??

post #343 of 370
Thread Starter 

hi dianita,

 

in my experience, a good way to "stop" your intrusive thoughts is to cultivate an objective relationship to them. when they come, name them, i.e., this is a nervous thought i am having about my pregnancy and give yourself compassion for having it. 

post #344 of 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by writinglove View Post

hi dianita,

in my experience, a good way to "stop" your intrusive thoughts is to cultivate an objective relationship to them. when they come, name them, i.e., this is a nervous thought i am having about my pregnancy and give yourself compassion for having it. 

This is very well said I think. I've been trying to figure out all day how to express a similar thought. In my experience the negative thoughts don't go away, and trying to push them away can actually make it harder. It's like, they are there for a reason, and what you want to do is try to neutralize their ability to hijack your emotions. Sometimes it would help just to say outloud to my DW, "I keep having these awful thoughts about something happening to the baby." And we would talk for a moment about how that is natural and we're in this together and waiting is hard but we have to just out one foot in front of the other. And just acknowledging it as a legitimate fear would make it more tolerable I think.
post #345 of 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by linenandpurple View Post

I want to learn PEACE and not just optimism .i think optimism is good, but I guess I believe that true peace is something more. it's saying that whether or not things turn out as I envision, whether or not the horrible outcome happens, that all will be well. i was really working on cultivating that mindset while struggling with the infertiilty. . .now this pregnancy comes with a whole new set of challenges.

This has been such a strong theme for me in my pregnancy. I'm naturally drawn to wanting control of situations and I quickly learned that I not only CAN'T control this, but it is actually so much better not to even try to. Letting go of control in my pregnancy has opened me up to so much - a healthier body image, a more flexible birth plan, a collaborative approach to baby-prep with my spouse as opposed to trying to do it all myself. It's about trusting my body, trusting my carefully selected practitioners, and trusting DW that we can do this together and make good decisions about whatever may come.
post #346 of 370

Welcome to all the latest newcomers :w 

 

dianita-  :HugSo sorry you are having to deal with all those intrusive thoughts. It can be so difficult to release those fears after losses and enjoy your pregnancy. I use similar techniques mentioned by writinglove and sphinxy. I call them out first to dh and discuss them. I do all my analyzing to see if I understand where they are truly coming from and why. I draw it all out to the end conclusion of whatever the original fear might be. Then, when these thoughts happen again become the watcher instead of the participator. You've already solved the "problem".  Watch them come and go, in and out of your mind. Just like the ocean's waves and tides- see each thought's point of origination and the point that it recedes back.  Allow your thoughts to recede back to wherever they came from and move forward. Eventually you won't need the imagery and will just find your self thinking something like- Oh here I go again with that/those thoughts. Then you can quickly re- establish a positive affirmation and move forward. Good luck to you on Oct. 3rd. Do you feel that the ultrasound will help with your anxiety? How far along are you?

 

Hoping to here some updates soon- GISdiva, dakipode, coati hope you are all doing well. Sphinxy you are sooo close!!  Sparkle how is the bed rest going?

post #347 of 370

:wlinenandpurple and dianita!!

 

I agree with the previous posts that you must acknowledge and respect those feelings/thoughts in order to move forward and beyond them. Those fears/anxieties have a basis and ignoring that leaves them buried. They will pop up at the most inopportune time if you don't find a way to actively engage them. Please don't think I am being preachy or have all the answers, as I deal with these fears/anxieties/thoughts myself. I have realized that I need to be honest and not push them away. And yes, pregnancy/labor and delivery/parenting show us how little control we have. Letting go is a huge part of the journey. I'm 10 years in and still learning!!

 

Sphinxy Beautifully said! You are always so well spoken!! Just checked out your pregnancy ticker, you are so close, mama!! Wow. Can't wait to see pics of your beautiful boy. I recall the last few days/weeks being really hard, with many, is this it? moments and just wanting to hold my baby in my arms SO. Badly. Hope you can enjoy these last few moments before he arrives!!  :hug

GISDiva OMG, she is just beautiful!! Good job, mama :joy

 

JustJenny How are you feeling?

 

AFM Hanging in there!! Almost 35 weeks (yeah!) and baby boy FINALLY decided to turn head down :bgbounce Not sure if it was the various gymnastic maneuvers recommended by my midwife, my new chiropractor (she specializes in pregnancy/newborns, specifically using Webster technique to turn breech babies) or just luck but I'll take it!! My MW decided I can be on "taking it easy" rather than "modified bedrest." Woo hoo! I know it won't be an issue to listen to my body, as I am motivated (I know I don't want a preemie if I can avoid it) and if I do too much I am really uncomfortable.

Very excited to see some more Peaceful Pregnancy Babies!! Wishing you all a wonderful day!! :flowersforyou

post #348 of 370

Just wanted to pop in and share a picture of my daughter! She's 3.5 weeks old now. C-section went as planned, but it was still a bit scary.

 

post #349 of 370
Congrats, coati!! She is lovely! Enjoy your first few weeks mama smile.gif
post #350 of 370
An update from the trenches: went for a long slow walk with a friend after work yesterday. Had contractions every 3-7 min from 8pm - 4am, then they eased off and I slept until 6am. Then up, showered, a light walk with DW and mom this morning, with more sporadic contractions but they were also more intense at times. By 10:30am I was so exhausted that I decided sleep was more important than walking my body into active labor, and I rested/dozed until 11:15am. Now I'm awake, alert, have eaten lunch, and am contraction free. I'm so confused and having such a challenge staying calm and peaceful. Please send positive thoughts!
post #351 of 370

Lots of :goodvibes  and  :meditate  thoughts to you Sphinxy!! I had a similar experience in labor with DD and I know it's no fun. It's also confusing.  I walked, and walked, and walked, and walked and really exhausted myself. My best advice is REST!! My Hypnobirthing instructor and doula told us that if that happens to us again, conserve your energy. As much as you can, rest and don't exert tons of energy. I know everything you read indicates otherwise (and it is what I learned as an L&D nurse too) but try not to wear yourself out before the real active stage begins. Studies consistently show that resting in early labor actually reduces the length of labor and eases delivery.

 

So excited for you mama!! I'll be thinking of you and sending you strength and love for a powerful and beautiful delivery. You can do it!! You are a phenomenal woman!!

post #352 of 370

Hello all,

I have very little time to get online nowadays, since the arrival of Alden Henry on Sept 20th. I keep meaning to write down the birth story but it's lower on the priority list than breast feeding, eating and sleeping so it hasn't gotten done.

I'll say that having a newborn has given me a deeper appreciation for the concept of taking it one day at a time.

Hope you ladies are well, eventually, some day I will be able to catch up but for now I'll be cheering you on from the side lines.

All the best to you!

post #353 of 370
Congratulations coati and dakipode! I hope you are healing well and enjoying your babies. I'm so happy for you!
post #354 of 370

Congrats GISdiva (I missed your post, sorry!) Coati and Dakipode!!  Enjoy your beautiful new additions! jumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gif

 

Sphinxy- sending you lots of zen vibes as you make your way through the home stretch! :goodvibes

 

Sparkle- So glad that you are on "take it easy" now instead of bed rest and that the babe is head down! I bet that is a relief. :) Sending you calming sticky dust for a few more weeks of cookin' dust.gif

 

AFM- Feeling great. Not much going on except for the usual minor aches and pains. A little moodier maybe!   MS is gone and the weather is cooling slightly here in the desert. Can't wait til we are down in the 70's/low 80's so I can be a little more active. I'm tired of dragging my butt out at night for walks and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes! 

post #355 of 370
I, too, seem to have missed your post the first time around GISDiva - many congratulations to you! Also so thrilled to hear from coati and dakipode - so happy for you ladies!!!

justjenny - glad you are feeling great, we have been having that 70-range weather for the last two weeks and Oh my, it's been an absolute godsend.

Sparkle I cannot say thank you enough. When I read your post yesterday it resonated with me so strongly, like my body saying, Yes! This! I actually reread it a few times to keep myself grounded. So, my contractions slowed down to about once every thirty minutes for the rest of the day. I took a two hour nap in the afternoon and just now awoke after an amazing 9 hours of sleep. If the baby isn't here yet, at least I am rested! And, as frustrating/confusing as it all was, we definitely learned some lessons in our "practice labor," so I am trying to focus on that as a positive. I kind of have that twingy feeling like I may have a contraction the minute I get out of bed, but my goal is to just keep breathing and try to hold onto this calm feeling.
post #356 of 370
Congrats, Dakipode!! So happy to hear your little one is here and that you're adjusting to your new routine smile.gif Enjoy these first moments, sleep when you can and accept offers of help.

Sphinxy I am so glad! Looking forward to hearing about your birth! I recall a few practice labor situations wink1.gif Thinking of you, mama!!
Edited by SparkleMaman - 10/5/13 at 2:23pm
post #357 of 370
Oh, friends, it continues to be challenging to find peace in these last few days/weeks. 39 wks + 3 days here, and those contractions haven't returned after all. Yesterday I just felt like a waste of space - no position was comfortable, no activity was appealing. I suppose one good thing about all of this is that any anxiety I had about giving birth is out the window - I could not care less right now how much it hurts or how long it takes, I just want it to be that time! Determined to find some positive energy today...
post #358 of 370
Oh Sphinxy, I SO hear you, mama! Honestly, the last few days/weeks are really hard. The waiting, the not knowing when is this going to happen? and the general physical discomforts/pains. Add to that the practice starts to labor, so confusing and frustrating! Staying peaceful and zen during this time is excrutiatingly difficult, at times just not possible. That's okay!! You are so close. Hang in there and know you are strong and powerful. You can get through this. The prize at the end, SO worth it smile.gif Your sweet boy will be here soon. I recall sharing this thought months ago on one of the TTC threads: Labor and delivery are such a metaphor for parenthood. You work and work and get pushed to your limits in all senses, physically, spiritually, emotionally. You reach a place where you think, that's it. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. And you want to walk away. At that moment you realize, sh*t! I can't leave! And you have to dig deep within yourself to find a strength that you maybe didn't even know was there. And you push through it, literally and/or figuratively. On the other side you'll be amazed and humbled and exhausted and also happier than you could ever imagine. So much of being a parent is like that and completely beyond our control. It's something I struggle with regularly. Huge hugs to you. I am sending you peaceful vibes and wishing you an amazing, powerful birth (soon!). Much love, mama!
post #359 of 370

I haven't had a chance to read all of the posts but am so happy to find a thread like this!  I have a 5 year old DD, and a 3 year old DS.  I struggled with anxiety through my entire pregnancy with him, as a result of a miscarriage a month before conceiving him and also birth trauma (4th degree tear) from when I had DD.

 

I'm currently pregnant again, and have already been struggling with similar feeling of anxiety.  I've managed it a lot better than last time, but it's still hard!  I'm 6 weeks along now, and have an ultrasound next week.  

 

I found a Bible quote online that I'm reading almost daily to help me release my fears and simply enjoy the blessing of being pregnant in the present moment: Phil 4:6-8 Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

 

I do think it's hard to have the fate of my unborn child be almost completely out of my control, and to have to wait to find out if he or she is alive and well.  Being in the present moment and trusting in my body and in God are the ways I'm actively working to stay calm.

post #360 of 370

sphinxy- :Hug Big hugs to you! I don't know what that feels like yet but I'm sending you lots of healing vibes! Hope you are feeling more relaxed and positive instead of anxious today. :goodvibes 

 

sparkle- you always know just what to say! :D Hope you are enjoying your freedom of movement!

 

ninabear- Welcome!

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