Frag88chick-I know how you are feeling. I am getting remarried after being divorced 5 yrs. My 16yr old dtr is an only child and she and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. I began dating this man about a year or so after my divorce. He taught in the same school as me and was her teacher for 2yrs. The kids at school love him, but she has made it her mission to hate him and now hate me. She never wants to be home, refuses to converse with him when he tries to reach out to her, and always wants me to choose between her and him. I feel so caught in the middle because I love them both. He desperately wants to be accepted by her and continues to reach out, despite her negative and often hateful response to him. We are finally getting married in the Fall and she is already saying she won't come. I have contacted a counselor to help us through this. I am just as at a loss as you, but can definitely relate to all your feelings. I hope counseling will give us some answers, and give my daughter some peace. Have you tried counseling and if so, has it helped?
PS I thought that once she entered highschool and was no longer in middle school with him as a teacher that her acceptance of him would improve (ie:no pressure from friends), however, she has only become more distant and disrespectful to him over the past 2 yrs of highschool.