Need some input pls!

[MomOfTwoGifted]

Okay I will start off by saying I am not home schooling my children..l.

My mother does thirty-one. She is senior director and is often on phone, running errands or on computer. She has a 3 & 5 year old daughters whom she insists on home schooling! I have a 4 almost 5 year old and she went to mothers day out program.
I often have the oldest.... And I often find myself comparing their progress.

Myah ( my moms) doesn't know the sounds of the letters, writes only her name and just learned to recognize her letters. Rheanna does all above and is reading simple sentences.

I often find that my mother don't have the time to homeschool especially with myah being ADHD! Btw, the two girls of my mothers are adopted too!

During my life with my mom, she could never help me with my schooling growing up! She didn't graduate high school either!

I have voiced my opinion many times and feel that she will hurt the girls in the long run. Myah obviously needs extra help that my mother can't provide her with. I also had a brother that was ADHD and she barely could handle him!

I call mom and ask what she is up to and she says the girls are doing work books and she is on phone! I don't know much, but I was under assumption that the entire reason to home school was to get individualized attention. How is a work book making sure she comprehends info?

Basically I want to know how to bring it up! Turn her in? Anything I can do?? How to address this tell her she doesn't have the time! Etc! Any advice would be appreciated!

[Adaline'sMama]

What does it mean that she "does 31"? Homeschools 31 kids?
It doesnt sound that bad...lots of moms dont get serious about schooling when their kids are only 3&5, but if since you said that she had a hard time helping you when you were growing up then that might be a problem. Have you tried to talk to her about it?

[MomOfTwoGifted]

Thirty-one gifts... A work at home business.

Yah we ( my hubby and I) have voiced our opinions.

But I feel myah is missing out on fundamental basics. The school system we r in, would indeed help myah in her delayed learning as well. She had a hard 16 months of life and also has break downs. I seriously feel that the girls are needing socialization! She states they get it, but all I see ( I live less than a mile from her) is that she is running errands and telling girls to be quiet so she can work!

I feel she doesn't have time or qualifications. .


Any suggestions to tell her the way it is?

[moominmamma]

Relax and try to resist the temptation to compare. The best thing you can do is make a gracious open-minded attempt to understand your mom's approach to the girls' education ... and support it. If you're concerned, try to understand better and support more. If you can't understand, at least support.

In almost all jurisdictions in North America schooling isn't compulsory until age 7, so not only would it be a Very Bad Idea for you, for your relationship with your mom, and ultimately for the kids, to try to "turn them in," there would be absolutely nothing to turn them in for. 

There's nothing wrong with not reading or knowing phonetics at 5. There are a lot of pretty well-regarded educators and educational approaches that believe it's best to delay reading instruction until age 7 or 8. If a child learns spontaneously before then, so be it, but there's no need. 

miranda

[berkeleyp]

I don't think you can do any more than voice your genuine concern and offer to help perhaps.  if you watch the kids sometimes, why not just make reading an integral part of your time with them.  This will have an enormous benefit for them and will improve your relationship with them too.  I know you are acting out of concern but ultimately it's your mom's decision.  

[MomOfTwoGifted]

Thx ladies. It's hard not to compare, but will do my best not to. I just feel that if she took more effort, the children will blossom! They r such sponges at this age. I tend to work with the girls when I have them, but they have no interest.

Thx again! Will try harder on my part.

[AAK]

Originally Posted by MomOfTwoGifted 

I tend to work with the girls when I have them, but they have no interest.
 

What do you do with them?  I wouldn't do typical 'school' stuff.  They can learn math (patterns, counting, etc) with art.  Beading was lots of fun (and very educational) for my kids at that age.  Reading TO them vs trying to help them learn to read would be great too.  You can get the concept books and read those if you want to target specific skills.  Also, lots of fun children's music is available and most of it works in some education. 

Amy

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by MomOfTwoGifted 

I just feel that if she took more effort, the children will blossom! They r such sponges at this age. I tend to work with the girls when I have them, but they have no interest.
Thx again! Will try harder on my part.

A story about my dd and her best friend, both homeschooled. My dd began reading novels at 4. Her friend had no interest in learning to read or any other academics for that matter, until age 9, at which point she vaulted to my dd's reading level in a matter of weeks. At age five both girls were sponges. They sponged up different things, though, based on their interests and their differing literacy skills. My dd read widely from fantasy literature as well as history and social sciences and filled herself up with information. Her friend developed the most amazing memory, full of the fairy tales, mythology and poetry her parents read to her. My dd enjoyed reading. Her friend was busy developing amazing social graces, conversational prowess and the skills of interpersonal diplomacy. My dd could multiply and divide; her friend could create and produce a theatrical performance. They had a lot in common too, and both became very fine violinists, pianists and choral singers.

The thing is ... whether kids are interested in academics at a young age or not, they are sponges. But they will only soak up what engages them. It is only in the school system that the lack of an early interest in academics is a disadvantage. Homeschooled kids don't get "behind" if their academic interests awaken at 9 rather than 5, because you can't be behind yourself. You're spot on for you.

That's why I suggested understanding and support, not remediation. You need to try to understand them, who they are, what engages them, what your mom's homeschooling approach is with them, and why. And support that, rather than working to your own agenda. As AAK says, don't "do school" with them. Play, support, enrich, facilitate, observe, read them good literature, talk to them about things that interest and excite you, share, listen.

Miranda

[Cassidy68]

Originally Posted by moominmamma 

... whether kids are interested in academics at a young age or not, they are sponges. But they will only soak up what engages them. It is only in the school system that the lack of an early interest in academics is a disadvantage. Homeschooled kids don't get "behind" if their academic interests awaken at 9 rather than 5, because you can't be behind yourself. You're spot on for you.

Love this. I very much agree! (Mine is currently soaking up much Minecraft knowledge... and incidentally picking up some keyboarding and spelling as a by-product).

[MomOfTwoGifted]

I love it! Very good post! Makes sense! Thanks for telling me that! Never thought about it.