Wow I think you summed us up perfectly. I do have the Raising Your Spirited Child book, I need to go back and read it. When I first read it the suggestions just seemed more for older kids. But maybe they will work on a 16 mo old. Do you have any recommendations for websites? I just did a quick google and found sites explaining the different types of temperament. But I didn't see much in the way of how to best parent the active/ feisty child.
Thanks so much for your insight.
My daughter is also extremely strong willed. She is 9 now and there have been good and bad times. I would ask if you have a very good routine? My daughter does so much better if we have a good routine set up. She needs to eat and sleep at set times, as well as knowing what is going to happen in the day. We set up a picture chart to show her what to expect that day (for example, if we were going to the store).
I would also recommend trying to get her to sleep more! Are you napping with her? She should still have two good naps each day, and you could sleep right next to her!
What is she screaming about? I would begin teaching her that you don't listen when she screams. I would say "Oh, that's too loud" and cover your ears and turn your back on her. Then when she takes a breath, turn back and say "Oh, that's better!" The more you respond to her screaming, the more she will use screaming to get her way. Don't CIO, teach her that screaming isn't the best way to get your attention and the things that she wants. It will take some time, but lay the base now.