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Help for my high-need baby at naptime!

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I've given up on the idea that my HN son will soothe himself to sleep any time soon.Our problem,so far,isn't the night-time sleep,though I do wish we could get him to sleep earlier since he wakes up at 6am every day,he does tend to sleep well,and,since we sleep with him in our bed,I don't wake much when he needs to eat. It's the naps that kill me!!! My DS has the worst time sleeping more than 40 minutes,and when he wakes,he just isn't fresh and happy. In fact,he wakes tired,rubbing his eyes,yawning the whole time he's up,whining,and is easily irritated (and irritating!). It's hard to get any happy time with him because he's always so tired! When he wakes like this,I try to get him to sleep soon after,but,since he often naps on me-the only way I can get him to sleep longer,if I have any hopes of him sleeping more than the 40 minutes(doesn't always work)-so,when he finally wakes,I have to make a run to the bathroom,and kitchen to pee,eat and drink something. By the time I'm done,he's whining so loudly,or full-on crying! He's 5 months,so is getting heavier all the time. All we have found to do to get him to sleep is to swaddle,hold him tummy-to-tummy,and shush,while rocking vigorously. It can take up to 1 1/2 hours,sometimes,to get him to sleep. Well,at least I'm getting big strong arm muscles!!

The advice I need is-any new ideas that can help a high-need baby to sleep? I've tried so many things-white noise machines, nursing (sometimes works,but not like it used to), laying him down while just drowsy, using a sling,but our place isn't big enough to just walk around for however long he's asleep,and sitting is uncomfortable. When I try to put him down with it,he always wakes,no matter how asleep he is. Any new ideas? Also,any ideas on how to keep him asleep for naps longer than 30-40 minutes? Anyone? This would have to be advice from parents of high-need babies only,as anything that works on "normal,easy"babies does not seem to work on this little guy.

post #2 of 7

My first was exactly like you are describing!  Hang in there because it WILL get easier/different!

 

What about a long car ride?  What about a stroller walk?  I've been known to drive somewhere and sit in the parking lot and knit or read while DD or DS takes a much needed long nap.

post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 

Thanks for writing. Unfortunately,we don't have a car,but then,he seems to hate being in a car anyway. Maybe,if we did have a car and were regularly in it,he would get use to it but since we don't..... And strollers,well,he absolutely HATES the stroller! He screams as though we were abusing him. Strollers are more for the parents than the babies,anyway,so I guess my DS knows what's up. Really,we have tried all the regular advice. All we can do is swaddle,rock,and shush. It's just getting so hard because he's getting so heavy and we have to do it so often through out the day. If it's in a book,or on a normal website,we'e tried it. I'm needing some new,"magical" way to get him to sleep. Something no experts,mother in-laws, sisters,doctors,etc commonly suggest. It's like he's always one step ahead of us.

post #4 of 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by celeste kp View Post
I'm needing some new,"magical" way to get him to sleep. Something no experts,mother in-laws, sisters,doctors,etc commonly suggest. It's like he's always one step ahead of us.

 

There's one magical thing -- time.  I know, I know.  But sleep, like everything else, is a developmental milestone.  He will get there as soon as he is ready.  You are an AWESOME mama for rocking, swaddling, etc!  He knows how much you love him, despite how hard it is on you.  

post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 

Thank you! It's so wonderful and reassuring to read that I'm doing well. It gets so hard,hearing/reading all of the "shoulds"-he "should" be sleeping more hours,he "should" be able to self-soothe, he "should" not be nursing so often during the night, you "should"put him down more often,he doesn't need to be held so much. I know it's all crap,but it really takes its toll,hearing it and reading it all the time,when looking solutions. Having  high-need baby is so hard because everything seems to be written for "normal" babies. Only thing I've ever found is books by Dr.Sears,which,thankfully,I read before giving birth,so I had heard of high-need babies before (and like so many women before me,I thought,oh please,don't let my baby be like this!!!),so I was somewhat prepared,well,at least it didn't come as a shock. My mother in-law is the worst,she insists that I "should" be putting him in the stroller,and mentions it every single time we see her. Her and my father in-law just don't understand,nor accept that we carry him in the sling. If they mention the stroller one more time,I fear I'm going to take it and through it out into traffic ;). Anyway,sorry for the tangent,I just saw my in-laws yesterday and they frustrate me so,making me feel like my husband and I are doing everything wrong,well,not both of them,just my mother in-law. She seems to be clinging on to her dream of having this picture perfect grandchild,so she can have these picture perfect moments with him the second he was born. She just can't adapt her mind to the way he is,still only trying to see him form what she wants him to be,and seems to think that our parenting style is getting in the way,instead of thinking that maybe our parenting style is why he's even close to being "picture perfect".

Again,sorry for going on about this. Your comment hit me in a good way and almost made me want to cry after dealing with my MIL. Thank you again. And thanks for reminding me that time is all I have to go by. This,too,shall pass.
 

post #6 of 7

hey!

 

unfortunately i have nothing to offer but some good old fashioned understanding!

 

i was searching on this forum for some magical answer as well.  my little boy is 6 months and sounds quite similar as far as protesting sleep.  lucky for us though he loves the car/carseat.  (but on the not so lucky for us side he loves the carseat....and we can only get him to nap by swinging him the carseat-i literally have callouses on my hands and it's pretty awful on my knees and back as well!)  he only falls asleep at night with a boob in his mouth which is fine except once in a while i would like to sleep in a position other than one my side! 

 

hang in there (as if we had any other choice)

post #7 of 7

My 5-month-old LO also takes short naps and hates the car and stroller.  She prefers to be held or worn, which I love doing but can't sustain all the time.  Just wondering... have you tried a pacifier?  I know people have different opinions about them - we were very reluctant to try one at all - we had major problems establishing breastfeeding and I wasn't about to screw it up!  Then when we did decide to try one, we insisted on the 100% natural rubber organic ones.  She spat them out, so we stopped offering.  Meanwhile, she's screaming in the car and stroller and only napping with a boob in her mouth, and I'm feeling more and more isolated.  Months are going by like this.  Then one day while traveling and exhausted, on a whim I bought a cheap BPA-free paci at Walgreens (I think the brand was MAM?).  Anyway, the child sucked it into her mouth, grabbed her cuddle puppy, and fell sound asleep in the car.  I mean, instantly.  She now sleeps on most car rides, loves stroller walks, and we're working on napping by herself - naps haven't gotten longer, but they sure have gotten easier.  I can nurse her to sleep, transition to the paci, and put her down.  So much for my hifalutin' ideas - we had to find what works!  Might sound silly, but this paci changed my life.  :)


Edited by Zirconia - 6/17/12 at 12:53pm
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