Weekly Chat Thread (thru 6/24) « Back to Group Discussions

[Vegan Princess]

I hope everyone had a good weekend. 

How is everyone sleeping these days? I'm starting to get some hip pain but nothing unbearable yet. I had been sort of sleeping on my tummy a little bit by putting a pillow next to me and putting my leg on top of it to keep me from putting all my weight on my tummy - but that isn't working very well anymore. The baby gets really squirmy when I try that now, like I'm squishing her. I seem to wake up really easily and not fall back asleep. I think my body is already ready to be waking up with a newborn! I'm not ready though!

Cindy

[springmum]

I've been doing the same as you Vegan, and it's still working pretty well - I make sure to use the bigger pillows to get my knee up nice and high and kind of lean back a little to take the pressure off. I always stick my hand under my belly to see how much room there is.

I find I toss & turn a lot at night, and still get up to pee a few times. Sometimes I wake b/c I'm too hot, then I'm too cold, then I'm too hot. There's nothing consistent about the sleep at this point! Hip is slightly starting for me too, hoping to avoid it as long as possible!

[vegchica]

I've also been sleeping the same way, it seems to be the position that is the most comfortable.
I have been sleeping in 2 hr increments all night and despite my extreme fatigue around 2pm I cannot take a nap. No matter how hard I try. I'm averaging about 6 hrs of interrupted sleep a night, so I hope it changes soon.

I've been having some anxiety about labor that has even brought me to tears. I'm terrified of giving birth. I don't know why because this is my 3rd! My other 2 were unmedicated water births at a free standing birth center. Everyone was against my decision but then became my biggest supporters. They still brag about it to this day. I kind of feel like I can't live up to my past birth experiences. I was so young and fearless back then.
Everything about this pregnancy has been different and so HARD. I'm even going to an OB and having a hospital birth this time. I'm even worried I won't know how to give birth out of the water. Probably sounds silly but I'm so upset over this.

On a positive note, I saw my baby on the ultrasound pics and I feel so attached to him. It's weird to me since I refused all ultrasounds with my other pregnancies. I can't stop looking at the pics!

[pregnova]

Yes, I'm in the same sleep position as you all. Baby thumps angrily about it, lol, but it's the only position I can lay in for longer than 10 min! I was sleeping insanely good...even getting back to sleep immediately after a pee break, but now I'm starting to have good nights and bad nights. I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy though or our upcoming move and a busy brain that won't stop planning everything out!

We actually had a HUGE change of plans, and instead of buying a car and moving a few hours a way, we've bought plane tickets and will be moving halfway across the country to an area we can live in without a car for a while. DH and I hate cars, and have enjoyed living without one for the past 2 years or so, and wanted to keep that up, so I'm pretty pleased with our choice. Anyway, I've been super busy finding out what's in the area, looking for rentals, and trying to find a doula that won't reject me the moment I mention unassisted. Sigh. I finally FOUND a doula who would have attended, but she's off apprenticing with midwives in another state the whole month of October! Bah. I even found a midwife who sounds impossibly awesome and sent an email asking if she'd attend in a doula capacity, but I've yet to hear back. Anyway, I think that's got my brain all worked up right now along with all the packing and cleaning. 

Baby's doing well, and THANK YE GODS my libido is VERY slowly coming back. My poor dh did not take well to the frost of earlier and it's been a bit of a stress point for both of us because it's nothing like how we normally are, so relief to finally not find the idea of messing around a total turn off! So different from last pregnancy too...I don't think we put a pause on anything while pregnant with ds, but this go, it's been since about 5 weeks that I've just been SO not interested. 

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

I've been sleeping in a similar position.  i keep trying to position pillows so that I don't role over too much, but it's hard.  I've been a stomach sleeper my whole life so even if I position myself differently to fall asleep, by the time I wake up, I'm always nearly back on my tummy.

Pregnova, that does sound like a huge change!  I went car-less for years after college and it was mostly wonderful, but then we moved for jobs where we had to each have our own cars.  We wanted to get rid of one when we moved here, but it just wasn't practical with the iffy public transit and DH's wacky schedule.  I hope that next spring we can move somewhere close enough to DS's school and DH's work that we can get rid of one car and use the other one a whole lot less.  Good luck figuring things out in your new area, especially with the doula search!

I'm going to see an endcrinologist today for possible thyroid issues (my bloodwork at my midwives came back as borderline and I've been concerned about it even before the we had the bloodwork done). I'm actually really excited about this doctor (which is saying something for me...I'm not a fan of going to the doctor in general).  He's also an internist so he may become my PCP and he focuses a lot on complimentary natural treatments and working with diet/lifestyle...and his practice has nutritionists, naturopaths and acupuncturists on staff. I've heard great things about him so I'm excited to see what happens today.  I'm guessing it will mean some medication for thyroid and I'm expecting that we'll be talking a good bit about GD (I had it with DS and have been on a GD diet for this whole pregnancy, though not regularly testing my numbers yet).  

[Vegan Princess]

Undertheoak: Good luck at the doc today!

Pregnova: Wow - huge change of plans!! I'm going to have to PM you to see where you guys are going. That would have me up at night too. LOL. I hope you have luck w/the doula or midwife.

Vegchica: My midwife gave me a handout on pregnancy/birth and it said that it is very normal to have increased anxiety with each birth. I had a great water birth last time too and I too wonder about any birth experience being able to "live up" to it!

RE: SEX. I'm not getting ANY! If I think about it too much it upsets me. I feel like I should probably actually talk to my DH about it, but I sort of don't want to. I can count on 1 hand how many times we've done it since I started IVF. The IVF process is not sexy and then my doc said we couldn't do it from transfer until 6.5 weeks along. I think the few times we've done it, I've been the one to initiate it. I think DH mightbe really uncomfortable with the idea bc of the worry about losing the pregnancy after having lost 2 pregnancies and gone through infertility and needing to do IVF. I also think he's probably totally not attracted to my pregnant belly in any sort of sexual way - and that's the part I don't actually want to hear him say! I'm just worried about our relationship if we don't have sex for so long! We still had sex last time I was pregnant - but we were much newer in our relationship.

Cindy

[pregnova]

Bah, the sex stuff...yes! That worry about what it means to not be having sex as normal. Especially because dh will sometimes try to make me feel better about not wanting to by saying something like, "this is probably just how it gets once you've been with the same person for a while". Bah! It's been stressing me out because it's SO unlike me and I know that after the baby comes it'll be hard to find the time and motivation for a while, so it seems like a huge semi-permanent change that neither of us actually wants. I'm glad it's getting a little better for us, but I do hope we get to some fantastic times pretty soon. Cindy, I bet you're right that your dh is probably more concerned this time about hurting the pregnancy. Hope it eases up for you!

under the oak- Sounds like you found a great doctor. Hope he eases your mind!

vegchica-I can understand those worries! 

[Angelorum]

Sleeping here is okay, once I finally get to sleep.  I sleep soundly until I have to get up and pee in the early morning, but I fall right asleep again after that usually.  I just have a hard time getting comfortable because my back has been achy.  I've been seeing a PT for some pelvic floor pain, which I think I finally figured out is from some vulvar varicosities.  I got a support garment for the varicosities, and it's not the most comfortable thing to wear, but it does really help with the pain.  But once the back issues started, my PT started helping with that too.  Apparently all my ligaments are really loose, my pelvis/low back are out of alignment every time I go in, but it's always out in a different way!  I'm really trying to strengthen all my muscles to create some more stability because I really don't want to end up with another support belt to wear on top of the one I already have. 
 

As for sex, this pregnancy has definitely increased my eagerness for it.  I wasn't expecting that, I don't remember a difference last time.  I also am just really enjoying the way my pregnant body is looking these days, I'm going to miss it when it's gone again.  The only downside is that any "activity" swells my varicosities and makes the whole next day more painful.  But, I want to take advantage of the libido now before it tanks postpartum again. 

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

So my appointment went well.  Of course, I learned that my midwives don't know how to interpret thyroid blood work results, and that I'm slightly hyperthyroid, not hypothyroid.  Anyway, his treatment seems to be conservative which is what I was looking for and I got a really good physical in the process which I haven't had in years really.  He did additional blood work today and he's going to monitor me periodically throughout the pregnancy but doesn't think I need any medication at the moment.

[bostonmummy]

Hey UndertheOld, you might want to check out Stopthethyroidmadness.com if your lab work is coming back off. I had the same issue a few years back and stumbled across this website. It's chock full of info and will help work with your doctor so both of you can figure out how best to treat the hyperthyroid issues. Glad to hear the appointment went well - sounds like you've good a good doc in your corner!

In terms of sleep, I've actually been sleeping a little better for the past couple of weeks. I'm still up every couple of hours to pee, but at least I'm going back to sleep for the most part. Sometimes I still end up out on the couch so I can read myself back to sleep, but at least even that is working! I've had plenty of nights where no matter how long I read I can't go back to sleep. But my belly just popped again, almost overnight, so I have a feeling I might be heading into uncomfortable territory soon. For now, I don't have any pain or discomfort with sleeping; just the usual insomnia fears.

Gah. The sex thing. I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. My libido was wonderfully high in the first trimester — I just felt so sexy with my new breasts. But now I don't feel sexy at all, and it makes it hard to be interested in anything more than cuddling. We did get in some playtime this weekend, which was great. But mostly I'm hoping that the spike in libido that the books say can happen in the 3rd trimester will actually happen to me! As much as I love this pregnancy and am so delighted that this is actually happening, I will be really happy to have my body back and get this pregnancy weight off. If anything, that should help me regain my interest. Though of course we'll have a non-sleeping creature in the picture that will render us exhausted and rather uninterested in sex. I think this is all just going to be an ebb and flow, you know? In the meantime, we're just trying to find ways to connect, even if we can't do it through sex as much as we'd both wish.

Vegchica - I think I'm in complete denial about giving birth, but since this is my first I really don't know what to expect. Maybe you could talk to a midwife or a doula and ask for some suggestions about how to deal with the anxiety? I imagine your experience is really common . . .  Hoping you find some reassurance and ease.

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

Vegchica- I've had a good bit of anxiety this time around as well, but more because last time did not go well and I'm terrified of it happening again.  I've been working through the books  Birthing From Within and Pregnant Feelings on my own and  they are making a world of difference for me right now.  My risk factors are all still there but my feelings about this birth have finally become more peaceful.  I'm no longer so terrified of ending up in a hospital if that's what has to happen which is a big difference from where I was a couple weeks ago.  I also had a very strong feeling that I had to reach a place of peace or I was going to end up in even worse circumstances than last time for sure, so I've worked really hard at this part (even more so than preparing for labor).  I know there is a midwife in our area who does pregnancy-consulting/counseling even for those who are not birthing with her.   I was really thinking about seeing her when things were getting really bad.  Maybe there's someone in your area who does something like that.  I think these types of anxiety are pretty common...keeping you in my thoughts...I know how hard and scary it can feel.

Bostonmummy-thanks.  I will check that website out.  I'm doing a good bit of research on it right now.  I feel like there are some changes I can make that at the very least can't hurt and might actually help bring some improvements. Honestly, I'm feeling better symptom wise now than I did when the first blood tests were done.  Also, so many things that happen with me health wise are making so much sense right now....things I never guessed could be related to my thyroid...in some ways it's a huge relief just to have that explanation!  I feel empowered at least and I'm looking forward to finding out test results and continuing to monitor this and see if I can help my body to function better, and I feel like I have a doctor who's going to be really supportive in all of this.  I just hope my midwives will be as well.

Edited by UnderTheOldOakTree - 6/11/12 at 8:08pm

[Vegan Princess]

Ha, yeah the irony is, my desire for sex has definitely increased in the 2nd tri - and DH seems to not be on the same page. That's ok. I'm still happy enough to not do it on most nights. LOL. Thankfully I'm still getting cuddles and foot rubs! Finally getting DD out of our bed has helped increase the cuddle factor. But having her in our room still probably isn't helped the ol' sex life either. I actually intended to bring the subject up w/DH tonight - but he is putting DD to bed right now and said he thinks he will just go to sleep for the night along with her since he had a long day and has an early morning tomorrow. 

[pregnova]

mmm...yes, having a kid in the bed still definitely puts a damper on things. Whenever I DO seem to get into the mood it's while we're cuddling in bed in the middle of the night or very early morning and of course there's ds on one side of us :-(, and no one wants to move to another less comfortable room of the house in the middle of the night or early am just for sex!

undertheoaktree-part of our reasoning for a UC this time is because it did not go well last time by my expectations. I think because of that, I've got some niggles of worry in my head because I know that if anything starts going wrong this time, it will only end up as a worse experience. But, I'm trying to focus very hard on planning and preparing for the best because there's not much I can do about the 'ifs'. 

[Angelorum]

I'm with you on feeling more worried about my second birth than my first.  I really didn't have too many expectations the first time around, so I feel like I was more accepting of whatever was going to happen.  Now that I've done it once, I can't un-know my first experience and have some expectation that it will be similar, no matter how many times I tell myself that it could be totally different.  And aside from the pushing phase, I don't want it to be any different, it was a really lovely labor, easier than I was expecting it to be.  Then there's part of me that feels like, it can't go that well a second time, I just can't be that lucky!  I've been reading lots of birth stories of all kinds, to remind myself of the wide variety of experiences, and just working on knowing that in the end, I can handle whatever happens, even if it takes a lot of work and time afterward to process.  I think I'd like to get the Birthing from Within book and work through that too. 

[springmum]

I'm feeling the anxiety about birth too. I had a medically necessary c-sec the first time, so I'm still new to the labour world. I've been reading Ina May's book since she has a lot of positive stories about birth in it. It's nice to read the wide variation of birth experiences and see how much anxiety/worry can actually hinder dialating/labouring effectively. This really snaps me back into preparing to labour how I want, but accepting that things may not go as planned. I've built a strong labour support team of midwives, doula and close friend who are all supportive of my "ideals", but will keep me grounded and safe as things happen.

The second part of that is that I may need a c-sec again. I spent a long time feeling guilty about DS's entrance into the world, but you know what - it was necessary, and he is safe & healthy and so am I - he likely would not have been otherwise.

My midwife bluntly reminded me that labour is not selfish - I'm not in it just for the experience that I want, but to birth a healthy baby who has a healthy mama. She kind of shocked me with her bluntness (we were discussing my disappointment about the c-sec) especially from a midwife whome I thought would be very pro-natural birth. She said she has been at it for a long time, and if the baby/mama is safer with a different path, then so be it. 

[sillymom44]

I am a side sleeper, so I don't have that to worry about BUT my hips ache the longer I stay on 1 side, so I flip a lot at night which often wakes me. I wake once a night to pee too.....but I feel rested so far.

I haven't felt too nervous about labor, but I found the more I read the more nervous I get. I actually stopped reading Ina May's book bc it was increasing my anxiety. I could have just been moody that week. I like reading the birth stories on other mothering due date sites bc they are usually short and focus on the positive. Deep down, I just know that I was made to give birth and God will guide me through it.

As long as I walk and prenatal yoga I feel good....i just have to make sure I schedule 1 of those into my day.

Friday is my last day of work for the summer. Cannot wait!!!! Although starting to realize that keeping my 6 and 9 yr old entertained is going to be more demanding than going to work. There is so much to do here, but that requires a lot of planning and energy!!!

[pregnova]

I FOUND a doula!!!!! omg guys, I'm so beyond excited. She's super awesome, super unassisted friendly, and sounds like she'll help make this birth something really beautiful. I still can't believe I found her! Now I can't wait to get our move over with so we can meet face to face!

[Vegan Princess]

Pregnova: That's awesome!!!! When are you guys moving again? 

I am feeling very pregnant today. LOL. I took my daughter to the park 2 blocks from our house and then to the small market a few blocks past that. I had to pee when we got to the park and again when we got to the market! It's SO hot right now. I'm downing tons of water. I just feel wilted pushing a stroller around in the heat. I'm so glad I don't live someplace really hot. It's been hot here this week, but this isn't really our norm. 

I'm jealous of those of you who get up 1x/night to pee! I'm up every 2 hours! I'm really having a hard to getting comfortable the past few days. I've barely slept the last 2 nights.

Cindy

[springmum]

Pregnova - yay for finding your doula! And congrat's on the moving plans too - I'm exhausted reading about all your adventure, but it sounds really interesting :)

Vegan - I'm up about 3x time a night too pee, almost every couple hours. What are we going to do when we get bigger?! Bed pans and Depends are sounding seriously good right now...

What is everyone using for lotion/oil on their bellies if anything? I've been using either sesame  or coconut oil, but would love a good healthy cream so I don't have to worry about the oil.

[bostonmummy]

Pregnova - wonderful news! What a relief it must be to have found someone you resonate with. Yay!

I like your midwife, springmum! She sounds like a wise woman. 

My midwife ended up being transferred herself and had to have a c-section because she became so exhausted she couldn't push anymore. It shocked me when she told me, but then I thought about it and I just felt relief — if I end up having to be transferred, then it's okay. I did my best, and that's all I could do. I guess that's where I'm at. 

I also love Ina May's book, especially the stories. They're so inspiring! I think I'll have to read them again closer to the birth so I have them fresh in my mind.

Am feeling so pregnant, too! Every time I see myself in the mirror I am shocked at how much I'm showing. I saw a friend yesterday who took one look at me, and said, "When did THAT happen?" I'd seen her a couple of weeks ago, and I guess I just suddenly popped! And I suddenly have to pee every 20-30 minutes, too. I went out to do errands tonight, and it seemed like I was just out to try out the stores' bathrooms. ;)

Springmum - are we supposed to use oil/cream on our bellies? I'm not using anything. What's it for - stretch marks?

Edited by bostonmummy - 6/12/12 at 6:04pm