6/11 Weekly Thread « Back to Group Discussions

[chicajones]

Thought I'd go ahead and start the weekly thread! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and enjoyed some warm weather. 

We "went public" and told everyone our news on Saturday night -- we had so much fun making our little "announcement" video:

https://vimeo.com/43613151

The responses have been so much fun and I've just really been enjoying all the love and support from our friends and families. A lot of people knew we'd been trying for a while, so it's fun to see them get so excited for us!

Last night I ate a low country boil at a friend's house and before we left I kept having to duck into the bathroom, thinking I was going to puke! I didn't, but man did I feel weird. It's been so funny, I get hit with nausea at the strangest times. I was hoping that since tomorrow is 12 weeks, I'd been able to sneak past the m/s, but we'll see if it tries to come and get me now. 

We're flying to Michigan for my brother's wedding on Wednesday and I'm really hoping nothing hits then! I also don't want to get the radiation scan at security and am hoping I can avoid it without too much hassle. 

What are you ladies up to this week?

[darkblue0729]

chica-thanks mama! I completely spaced yesterday, lol. Congratulations on going public :) Your video is ADORABLE!!! Hope you have safe travels, and I hope everyone else is well!

We're headed to the aquarium today and I think we may be adding some fish to our little brood afterwards, hehehe....I finally really look pregnant I think, and it has me so jazzed. I made pumpkin pie yesterday and pumpkin cream cheese danishes (you've gotta love Nigella Lawson's food processor danish dough recipe....I mean seriously, I live for it) and they were so stellar with chai, I had a couple of friends stop by who didn't know, and the second they walked in the house and saw our table spread with pumpkin pies and danishes in June, they looked at me, and we started laughing, and they were like "Doing it again eh?" it probably doesn't sound funny in the retelling, but my friends know me and my baking habits far too well LOL! DH took the girlies and Henry on a hike yesterday and found a beautiful branch that we are going to strip and paint and hang felt leaves and  nestle little felt owls and birdies to suspend over the new babe's crib. I was looking at the chairs around our table last night and was in tears as we have 8 chairs and presently 5 people and soon there will be 6, and there's still room at our table...and my heart is filled to bursting, I soooooo yearn to know this new child and when I look at the babes we already have i feel so humbled to have been entrusted with their care. Alright, sorry I'm waxing all sentimental, I just love this whole process

I hope you beautiful, wild, free mamas are having the best Monday ever!

[madis81]

chica, That is a fabulous video! Watching it made me teary eyed. lol What is a low country boil? I've never heard of it before.

Sego, your litle boy sounds so sweet! You kept the placenta for a long time. Did you keep it in a deep freezer? I've wondered about doing this with our new baby, but not until we buy a little hobby farm and plant some fruit trees. btw, the Sadbury School sounds very intriguing. I may have to dig into the methods when I have more time.

We're looking for ways to keep busy this week. This morning we pretended popsicle sticks were boats and had a race. I may attend an LLL meeting, and maybe getting together with some other moms I know. It's hard making new friends in a strange place. Sad thing is, I've been here for almost a year. It's never been this hard for me to make new friends. Even my kids are having a hard time. Yep, this is me having a pity party for myself...

We haven't announced our pregnany to our extended family yet, and I'm considering an announcement on Facebook. Most of my cousin, aunts, and uncles are on there. I was thinking about having each child holding up a sign with one saying "Boy?, the other saying "Girl?, and one DC holding a copy of the u/s picture. I would probably add the caption saying "another product of love joining us late 2012!"  Any other ideas?

[esp831]

Oh Chica, what a lovely, lovely announcement.  I totally cried watching it, soooooo sweet!  You all look so happy.

Last time I flew while pregnant I informed the security agent at the checkpoint that I preferred a pat down.  She said "do you have a pacemaker?" and I said, "no, I have a baby!"  Everyone was so nice, lots of questions about baby stuff, and they really don't seem to mind at all.  Very respectful bunch o' folks.  I hope you feel better soon!  If the nausea is only now and again, I'll bet you're on the road to recovery!  I felt that way at 12 weeks, and now at 14, I am only nauseous when hungry, and that's fading as well.

Darkblue, I love pumpkin desserts with chai!  And sweet potato too.  As soon as I can, I'm going to make a sweet potato pie or cheesecake.  I hate to admit to supporting Starbucks in any way, but they used to have the most amazing pumpkin crunch.  I love Nigella too.  I think my DH and I  might have a mini crush on her .  I completely understand your feelings of excitement to get to know this new bubs.  When I look at my girls I feel the same way.  They amaze me every day, and I feel incredibly lucky to be their mama, and to bring another sweet person into our family.  

Around here, things have been no fun.  I have finals this week and am trying SO hard not to be a complete stress case.  I promised myself a less stressful pregnancy and I plan on sticking to it.  DH has been in charge of the kids the past few days and I miss them!  But 3 days to go and then SUMMER!!  I'm taking a cooking class and a gardening class, so I literally plan on living in overalls and a silly hat the entire summer.  This vision is getting me through the underlying terror I feel getting through these tests.  Plus, a friend said to me today, "when you can, take a minute to breathe and enjoy the ahhhh of life."  It's helping.  Grades aren't everything, I know.  But then why do they seem so important?  Argh.  Sometimes I get so angry at myself for being pregnant and in grad school at the same time, but I know that ultimately it's best.

I hope everyone is enjoying a lovely, sunny day and has a great week ahead of them...

[madis81]

We're headed to the aquarium today and I think we may be adding some fish to our little brood afterwards, hehehe....I finally really look pregnant I think, and it has me so jazzed. I made pumpkin pie yesterday and pumpkin cream cheese danishes (you've gotta love Nigella Lawson's food processor danish dough recipe....I mean seriously, I live for it) and they were so stellar with chai, I had a couple of friends stop by who didn't know, and the second they walked in the house and saw our table spread with pumpkin pies and danishes in June, they looked at me, and we started laughing, and they were like "Doing it again eh?" it probably doesn't sound funny in the retelling, but my friends know me and my baking habits far too well LOL! DH took the girlies and Henry on a hike yesterday and found a beautiful branch that we are going to strip and paint and hang felt leaves and  nestle little felt owls and birdies to suspend over the new babe's crib. I was looking at the chairs around our table last night and was in tears as we have 8 chairs and presently 5 people and soon there will be 6, and there's still room at our table...and my heart is filled to bursting, I soooooo yearn to know this new child and when I look at the babes we already have i feel so humbled to have been entrusted with their care. Alright, sorry I'm waxing all sentimental, I just love this whole process

I found canned pumpkin at the store and it's been amazing! lol... Pumpkin is being added to everything! Pancakes are especially tasty with pumpkin. ;) I've also been looking at my table.. We have 8 chairs, and soon there will be 6 of us. It makes my heart anxious to bring this babe earthside, so he/she can join our conversations and laughter. It's all warm and fuzzy feelings. ;-)

[kateadelle]

Originally Posted by chicajones 

We're flying to Michigan for my brother's wedding on Wednesday and I'm really hoping nothing hits then! I also don't want to get the radiation scan at security and am hoping I can avoid it without too much hassle. 

 I flew when I was about 6 weeks pregnant and asked for the pat down and the TSA agents were very kind about it.They even apologized to the baby while they were patting down my belly.

AFM, last week felt really eventful between having some spotting (which freaked me out),  hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time, having our first ultrasound and telling my boss about the pregnancy. This week should be less exciting (fingers crossed). We ran into a few acquaintances over the weekend at our local farmers market and it was nice to feel more comfortable with telling them the news. I haven't made any big group announcements on facebook or anything and have just been telling people as it seems appropriate.

I am really struggling with where my body is right now. I feel really uncomfortable with not really looking pregnant, but being much thicker around the belly. It seems like everything I wear just looks bad. My underwear are now constantly rolling down on the top (I wear the kind with a thick elastic band) and it is making me nuts. I also can not button any of my pants - I have been trying to do the belly band thing, but I don't find that to work very well for me. The one I have also seems to roll up or down when I am sitting. Mostly I have been wearing empire waist dresses, which are comfortable, but I only have a few of them. I am not really ready for maternity clothes yet, and don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes that fit now, but may not in a few months. I do not sew at all and I am so jealous of you mamas who are talented in that department! Sorry for the whininess! We went out to a nice dinner last night to celebrate my partner's birthday and finding something to wear was ridiculous. It kind of sent me over the edge with this.

On to the positive - my m/s seems to have completely disappeared (knock on wood) and my appetite has kicked into high gear. Mostly I am craving fruit, fruit and more fruit - just in time for all the amazing summer fruits.

[sunseeker]

kateadelle - I feel exactly the same way about clothes. Nothing fits right, I don't really look pregnant, but I just look like I gained 10 pounds in the belly. Thick. Ick. I'm 11 weeks and I already only want to wear yoga pants and skirts.

I had such a nice day yesterday being outdoors and active and eating super yummy food, and then my toddler had a terrible night, up every hour fussing, kind of wanting to nurse but not really doing it, crying, clogged nose. Looks like he's a little sick and has a tooth coming in. I am SO TIRED today, have a little headache, and a little cranky. My 10 year old daughter is off school for summer now, and she has spent the morning being creative and making mud volcano in the back yard, complete with a fire goddess and little villagers. She rocks.

[Mamabeakley]

I am finally accepting that I DO look pregnant - since I realized that my belly is sticking out further than my boobs.  That's pregnant, not chub, alright.  It also makes me a little paranoid about twins because I know this is my 4th baby and all, but at 12 weeks to be this big seems a little ridiculous.  Also, I literally cannot stop eating.  I am TIRED of eating, I don't WANT to eat, but if I don't I feel absolutely, horribly awful.  And I've gained at least 10 lbs, which is not totally out of the ordinary for me in the first trimester, but seems a bit extreme.  It would be just right if I were having twins, though.  

[purposefuldoula]

Chicajones- your video is adorable!! I love it and your chucks!! 

Darkblue- Please share your recipe! I'm a pumpkin fanatic over here. Also, your little bit about your table totally had me in tears. I'm right there with you, mama! 

Welp, I've told pretty much everyone! Yesterday, we had a cookout with my extended family and I told all of them. It was really fun! It was also funny to see their faces if they didn't hear it right when I announced it, then they would come into the conversation a bit later all confused! So, after that I announced on fb and my blog. I've been pretty quiet online except for on here, which is totally not me, so that was nice to break the news. 

I'm feeling this baby move just about every day now. It's such a joy and I really can't wait to meet this one! 

Last night, DD1, my mom, and I all went up to a concert in Chicago. We left DD2 with my dad and she stayed the night with him and my sister. That's the first time she's ever not stayed with me! I felt like I was missing something all night!! She did really well though, and she apparently missed her sister. They've been stuck together all day today. 

[lilbsmama]

Originally Posted by chicajones 

Thought I'd go ahead and start the weekly thread! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and enjoyed some warm weather. 

We "went public" and told everyone our news on Saturday night -- we had so much fun making our little "announcement" video:

https://vimeo.com/43613151

The responses have been so much fun and I've just really been enjoying all the love and support from our friends and families. A lot of people knew we'd been trying for a while, so it's fun to see them get so excited for us!

Last night I ate a low country boil at a friend's house and before we left I kept having to duck into the bathroom, thinking I was going to puke! I didn't, but man did I feel weird. It's been so funny, I get hit with nausea at the strangest times. I was hoping that since tomorrow is 12 weeks, I'd been able to sneak past the m/s, but we'll see if it tries to come and get me now. 

We're flying to Michigan for my brother's wedding on Wednesday and I'm really hoping nothing hits then! I also don't want to get the radiation scan at security and am hoping I can avoid it without too much hassle. 

What are you ladies up to this week?

Your video is super cute! Niagra falls over here! good job!  Also, I MUST know what song that is! do share!

[themothership]

Had my 12 week appt today, measuring 15 weeks, but I'm hoping that is normal for a second pregnancy :)

[segolilymama]

Thank you to everyone for the kind thoughts for both me & my friend. She was moved out of L&D and into a regular room, so that's good that they aren't worried about labor starting any second!

Chica - GREAT video :) more tears here! As for flying, as others have said TSA is great about doing the pat-downs for pregnancy - everyone I have had (4 so far!) has been very sweet about it.

Madis - yes he is super sweet :) We did have the placenta in the deep freeze. Hadn't planned to keep it this long, but also hadn't found the right time/place to bury it. It was perfect :)

darkblue - the chair thing killed me! tears galore!!! i totally KWUM though :)

sunseeker - hope you get some sleep tonight!

AFM, the day of rest was just what the midwife ordered, lol. I feel so much better today, hard to not over-do it again, but I've been balancing projects with rest. I did can some pickles (8 jars), make cookies, wash all of the baby clothes I was given, and sort them into sizes. I sure hope this baby is a girl, lol, I have been given an entire wardrobe of girl clothes up through about 3T size! Oh, and the nicest thing about the resting yesterday was I was able to feel baby for the first time :) So wonderful!!

[violet_lotus]

Chica - your video was lovely! I really enjoyed watching your friends and family members' reactions, very sweet  Thanks for sharing! 

Darkblue - please do share the pumpkin dessert recipe! I'm just now getting over my tea aversion and bought some decaf chai today. 

It's so nice to hear so many of you are experiencing less nausea. I just hit 12 weeks yesterday and have been feeling better too, not all the way, but definitely well enough to eat a variety of food and larger portions. Hoping m/s is finally on it's way out...

My husband and I have just started telling friends and family about our coming baby and the love and support has been wonderful. I just told my advisor and dissertation committee at school too. They were cool about it but my plans for doing field work in Ethiopia this fall are definitely not happening and will be postponed for awhile. There's just too much of a risk with the vaccines, anti-malaria meds and the long flight. 

Also, would like some advice from all you mamas. How has your experience been sharing your pregnancy news with friends who are TTC and/or have fertility challenges? The other night DH and I were at our friends' house, DH and her husband are best friends and she and I are very close too. Since I'm just beginning to show, she asked me if I was expecting and when I said yes, she was really happy, then started crying. She and her DH have been trying for 3 years, he has much older children from a previous marriage and so it's been very difficult for them. Then, when she realized DH and I conceived so early in our marriage, it made her feel worse and started a new round of tears. They are like 2nd parents to my older daughter; she's a teacher and amazingly gifted with children. Since they are our closest friends we were happy they knew first, but my heart is breaking with how frustrated and sad they feel. I'm not sure how best to share news with her while still being sensitive to their feelings, yet not leaving them out too? 

Enjoy your week mamas! 

[nhklh]

Originally Posted by violet_lotus 

Also, would like some advice from all you mamas. How has your experience been sharing your pregnancy news with friends who are TTC and/or have fertility challenges? The other night DH and I were at our friends' house, DH and her husband are best friends and she and I are very close too. Since I'm just beginning to show, she asked me if I was expecting and when I said yes, she was really happy, then started crying. She and her DH have been trying for 3 years, he has much older children from a previous marriage and so it's been very difficult for them. Then, when she realized DH and I conceived so early in our marriage, it made her feel worse and started a new round of tears. They are like 2nd parents to my older daughter; she's a teacher and amazingly gifted with children. Since they are our closest friends we were happy they knew first, but my heart is breaking with how frustrated and sad they feel. I'm not sure how best to share news with her while still being sensitive to their feelings, yet not leaving them out too? 

It took me 4 years to conceive DS2 (DP carried DS1).  Honestly, I think your friend's reaction is completely normal, given the circumstances.  I always preferred to get news like that via email so I could have my reaction in private, because, quite frankly, it wasn't pretty.  No matter how heartbroken you are, it's a billion times worse for her :(   Probably the kindest thing you can do now is to be really understanding of whatever her process is now.  She might need to not see you so much, or she might be able to be ok with it, you can really just follow her lead on it.  If you're not sure, ask her.  I'd also suggest not bringing up the topic of pregnancy unless she does.

Of course this is all coloured by my own experience - she might well be totally different to me ;)

[cieloazul]

It's great to read all of your updates.

On telling people, I'm planning to tell my boss today then go 100% public. Our families have known for weeks and I've shared the news with a few friends by phone/email. But because we moved recently I don't see anyone and therefore havent told nearly as many as I probably would have if we were still close by. I hope no one is offended by a Facebook announcement but really, if we haven't talked in three months that puts a person in the "find out via facebook" circle.

And I don't think you can always tell when/what pregnancy talk is going to be triggering for someone. Sure if you know they're TTC I agree with nhklh to be sensitive, open, and willing to follow the friend's lead. A dear friend totally started bawling when I announced DS' pregnancy. She was single and nowhere near TTC. It just struck a nerve that I was having an experience she feared she'd never have. Those were some intense feelings that I had no control over. In addition to being kind, we also have to let go of any sense of responsibility for other people's reactions.

Ok this is kind of a downer that's on my mind this week. Coming into the 2nd trimester, and with viability stil another trimester away, I'm finding myself more concerned about loss than ever before. Somehow a loss early on seemed like part of the deal, just something I had to know could very easily happen. Now however I've seen this child, felt him/her, and made his/her existence real by speaking our hopes to so many people. A couple years ago three families we are close to had 2nd and 3rd trimester losses (all within a few moths of each other). I know that's really shaken me and DH and alerted us to concerns we were blissfully unaware of in DS's pregnancy. Does anyone else feel this way or have ideas for how to meet those fears and shift them?

[chicajones]

Thanks for all your sweet words, I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the video! We had so much fun making it. :) The song is called "Lucky" by Kat Edmonson, and her whole album is lovely. 

Thanks also for the tips on flying--I feel much less worried about getting a pat down. 

Re: being sensitive to friends, I think that if you know someone is struggling with IF, it can be helpful to tell them via an email or other written message so they have some time to process. I did this with one of our friends and she told me later she was so grateful for it and she really appreciated the extra thought. But if you don't know, you don't know, Plus, like cieloazul said, we can't control people's reactions.

madis81, love your photo idea! So cute! I think that would be a great way to announce. :)

darkblue, that's too funny about your friends! It makes me think of Gilmore Girls when Sooki starts getting all crazy and nothing tastes right to her, and all the chefs have to keep throwing out the food--and as soon as Lorelei finds out, she's like, "You realize you're pregnant, right?" :) Sorry, I'm a Gilmore Girls nerd, lol. So nice when friends know you so well. 

[cocobean]

cieloazul, I so get what you're saying.  My best friend lost her baby at 23 two years ago and this has shaken me to my core!  With my first there was always a little voice saying I could lose it but it was very little.  I've now been touched by loss and the voice is much louder.  It's getting better, I acknowledge my fears as valid and have just kind of surrendered that I have no control and what will be will be.  Sometimes it's not possible to get to the place quickly and other times it is.  Try not to pressure yourself to feel ok right away.

[travelmumma]

I know what you mummas mean about being afraid of loss. It must be much more difficult for those of you who have suffered a loss.
Weirdly I am more afraid now of losing her/him than I was earlier... I'm not sure why. Maybe it's more real now. Iknowthere are little feet because I get. Kicked, and I hear the heartbeat......

Chicka- I could just squash you!!!! Soooo sweet!!!! That video was tooooooo adorable!!! Made me cry!

I have a Birthing And Babies group meeting in the morning which am excited about. Have been to 2 now, and they are filled with gorgeous crunchy mummas! Love it!

Not much to report here. Sill sick. And as someone before said its hitting at random times. Which I suppose is better than constant sickness, but it does make leaving the house disgusting!
Have been having some pains which has been scary but the midwife reassured me that everything seems fine, still I will be happy to see her this Thursday.

Hope everyone is well!

Oh PS our first Spotlight is up! Head on over and get to know nhklh, our first spotlight lady!

[Mamabeakley]

I loved the video, too :-)

I feel much more worried about loss than I have in my middle two pregnancies.  I think it's because I feel on some level like I a) don't deserve this pregnancy and/or b) everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for two years, why would this be different?  Except, I actually know that deserving has nothing to do with it and that it's not true that everything that could go wrong has - things could be so much worse!  But the anxiety is there, and worrying about the baby from loss to birth defect or something is one way it comes out for me right now. 

My current dread-fear is that I'll go to my first midwife appointment on Thursday and not be pregnant anymore, having announced the pregnancy to everyone and their brother this week.  But, I'm not dwelling on it.  I know it's very unlikely and that worrying will not make it better should I actually have a loss.

Here's the photo we announced on FB with:  

[kateadelle]

Mamabeakley -  Love it! What an adorable group!

On the topic of letting friends know who are having trouble conceiving or have experienced a loss - when we were ttc (even though in hindsight we got pregnant fairly easily) I was so sensitive whenever anyone around me got pregnant and I really did appreciate finding out in a way that allowed me to have my reaction in private. However, I also understood that it wasn't the problem of the rest of the world that I was not pregnant and wanting to be and knew that I didn't want anyone around me to feel guilty for something joyful. I think if you follow the lead of your friends and give them any space they need or ask for, you will be find.