Perhaps it is the sleep deprivation. Or the poor nutrition (i've been too sleepy to cook nice meals & have been ordering pizza and stuff instead). Or the hormones shifting. But I am having a rough time dealing with just about anything lately. Baby is 4 weeks old.
Here are some examples:
I burst into tears at the **thought** of DS going to daycare in August. When the daycare called to get some information, I couldn't even listen to the voicemail or I would cry.
I go back and forth between "Hmm, these maternity jeans feel loose. yay! I am getting thinner!" to "OMG I will never ever lose this baby weight. I am destined to be obese forever" and get very emotional when anyone mentions anything about my weight. Even when my sister mentioned that I looked like I had lost some more weight since she saw me last week I started feeling upset just at the mention of my body.
And here is the latest thing:
My DH always looks at this site called Reddit on his iPad. I am not familiar with it at all and never paid any attention to the fact that he relaxes every evening by browsing this site. I figured it is like me and Facebook. Occasionally he would show me a picture of a cute cat or something that he found on Reddit.
Anyway, an friend of ours made a comment about the hot pictures on Reddit a while back. (like weeks and weeks ago!) and just today for some reason while baby was napping I downloaded the app on my phone. It is mainly just pictures of pets or weird things but there *are* a good number of naked girl pictures on that site. And perhaps it is just me being very self conscious about my flab right now, but I found myself planning how I was going to tell DH that I want a divorce when he gets home from work. Seriously, I was sobbing and thinking about how we would arrange child custody and who would get the house etc....
(I want to note that i love my husband very much, we have been best friends for like 15 years and I can't imagine life without him...but today I seriously considered leaving him and having him come home to an empty house after work. Over a website.)
WTH is wrong with me? Is this PPD? I had "baby blues" with my other children briefly, but never felt so emotional and sensitive during my pp time. It seems like any little thing can upset me. And if it is more than just a tiny little thing (ahem, Reddit) I get super upset.
I am sorry about this long ranty post. I am definitely going to mention this to the midwife when I go back for my next check-up. Just thought some of you ladies might have some insight. Or be able to tell me it is just my hormones and I will get back to normal soon. :-)