Self-Narrating

[dovey]

My six year old daughter has this habit of self narrating everything she does (especially when she thinks no one is listening.)  It's very interesting to listen to her, although difficult because she speaks under her breath, because the way she tells her life sounds like an well-written story.  She also talks herself to sleep by telling herself stories. 

If I ask her to tell me a story, she is immediately self conscious and has a completely different way of speaking - it sounds like an ordinary 6 year old making up a story; all of the interesting and complicated sentence structure and language, which she uses when she doesn't feel observed, disappears. 

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this.  I'd like to think of some ways to help her get over her self consciousness, because I feel that this special story-telling gift could be an enriching part of her life.  As she gets older, I watch her becoming more and more self-critical about her artwork and more uncomfortable about people hearing her self-narrate.  I am hoping that she doesn't stop one day. 

[AllisonR]

This may be way out there, but look up Flow - psychology on wikipedia. When she is engrossed in her natural environment, she can be in a highly creative state. A state which is challenging, interesting, and freely creative. When there is interference - you asking her to tell a story, then she is performing for you. So all that creativity will not come so naturally.

BTDT. I was like that as a child. Painting, drawing, writing... for myself allowed me to get to that deep level, and I produced lovely things. But as soon as my parents asked me for "another drawing of XYZ" or "another sweet poem", I froze, to a mild degree. It is natural. I am still often in a flow state when I paint, and as an adult I no longer freeze, I just come up for air when I am needed. Maybe your DD will stop talking out loud, but she probably won't stop talking in her head. Give her free avenues for her creativity. 

[dovey]

Thanks.  I think that makes a lot of sense.  I also felt that way as a child; I really didn't like it when I knew that my mom was listening to me play piano.  It was too personal somehow. 

So maybe I should just back off and provide her with lots of raw material - reading aloud to her beautifully written literature and poetry, and giving her the types of art supplies that she need. 

[parsley]

My DD (4 year old) does this whenever she's playing independently.  I love listening to her but as soon as she catches me she gets embarrassed and stops.  Recently I've been trying to pretend that I don't hear her and that seems to allow her to get deeper into her play.  Once she's in that zone it's like listening to a novel read-aloud!

On occasion, she'll ask me "Mama, can you hear me right now?"  I don't think she realizes that she's talking out loud!

[qualia]

What your daughter is doing is a normal developmental phenomenon called "Private Speech." Google "private speech toddlers" or "Vygotsky private speech" if you're interested, or check out this article: http://wondertime.go.com/learning/article/kids-talk-to-themselves.html

Young children use private speech while solving problems and engaging in make-believe play. I think it's such a wonderful thing to listen to. Sadly, it's normal for private speech to "go underground" as kids approach school age and they start internalizing the narrative.

My daughter seems to produce an endless stream of narration from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed. :) She's not yet 3, and so she's still not self-conscious about doing this in front of us, though I've noticed she doesn't do it much around other people or at preschool. I enjoy hearing her private speech so much, and I too will be sad when she stops doing it. I may have to try and record more of this before it goes away.