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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Sad day for me :(

Sad day for me :(

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 

Yesterday afternoon I went to the bathroom, while wiping I get drops of light red/pink blood. About 10-15 different spots. I had light cramps, not as bad as menstrual cramps, but definitely uncomfortable. A lower back ache, and felt very dizzy as well. Called the midwife, and she suspected I either was just going too hard, or I was in the early stages of miscarriage. I went about 5 hours without spotting, updated the midwife, and she was ecstatic, told me to take it easy and it was a good sign that the spotting was gone. Call her immediately if it started again, and she'd come over tomorrow to take HCG levels, schedule an ultrasound, and just start the prenatal care NOW instead of in her usual 10 weeks to keep me as low risk as she could.

Around 8pm I was putting the kids to bed when I felt a wet gush in my pants, I run to the bathroom where the worst sight I've ever seen happened. Blood was just pouring out of me, large clots, we called the midwife to tell her we were heading to the ER(my husbands sister had a tubal a few months back that almost killed her, better safe than sorry...). The first thing they tested was my HCG levels, which was at 25....at 5 weeks, 4 days pregnant. Not a good sign. After many more blood tests and being picked and prodded and pelvic exams, the doctor confirmed I was miscarrying and was worried about an ectopic. After an ectopic was ruled out, she recommended to manually extract the baby. It was the worst thing of my life :(. 

I'm a total wreck over this :(. Not to mention my husbands twit of a cousin(I know, mean... but it's true) had her baby yesterday as well. I can't help but just be miserable right now. 

post #2 of 18

I am so very sorry! I went through my second miscarriage in April and it is so difficult. Many healing prayers for you sweet mama.

post #3 of 18

im so sorry! My heart goes out to you...

post #4 of 18

I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I went through a miscarriage in early May and I know it can be one of the most lonely and isolating experiences that a person can have. Some people won't get why you're so devastated, but you need to ignore them and do whatever you need to do to feel better - no matter how long that takes.

 

I'm sure there isn't anything that anyone can say to help you through the next couple of days, but you should know that we're all here for support. I know I am for sure.

post #5 of 18
I am so so sorry mama. Hugs to you and your family.
post #6 of 18

So sorry to hear this. I wish you all the peace in the world as you heal.

post #7 of 18
Oh so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you, mama, and hope you have some good support and can rest up.
post #8 of 18

I am so sorry.  I hope you have some loving family and good friends to care for you right now.

post #9 of 18

I am so, so sorry. I don't really have any words that will help ease your pain, but just know that you are in my thoughts. *Hugs*

post #10 of 18

I am so so sorry that you've just had such an awful experience. Sending love and light and reiki to help you heal.

post #11 of 18

I'm so sorry for your loss..  :(
 

post #12 of 18

I'm so sorry for your loss!

post #13 of 18

I'm so sorry. Losing a little one is a very hard thing to go through. 

post #14 of 18

I am so sorry. We all are thinking of you and hoping that with each day that passes it brings you a little more peace

post #15 of 18
Thread Starter 

Thank you, ladies! Yesterday was the worst, today I just feel numb. I don't feel like anyone in real life can relate to how I feel, sort of like "Well you only knew you pregnant for about a week..." so it doesn't deserve the grief. 

post #16 of 18

No one is going to understand unless they've been in your shoes. Try to not let it get to you. You have all the right in the world to feel however you feel and it's important for the healing process. I'm sorry you don't have anyone IRL that sympathizes with you. But we do grouphug.gif. Love to you, mama.

post #17 of 18

I did a few special things for myself with my lost babies...one is that I did a professional image of their name in the sand (www.namesinthesand.com) by a mama in Australia who lost a child, another thing I did was purchase a special Christmas ornament (and will do for the one I just lost in April), and I have a little candle I light.

 

While these don't ease the pain of what you are going through, maybe they can help you heal and remember your baby.
 

post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 

Thank you :) All these kind words and thoughts are so very much appreciated.

Gray's Mommy those are GREAT ideas :)! I think I'll do the Christmas ornament(every year each kid gets to pick one out so only seems fair our angel baby gets one too!). I bought a necklace, it is a little cherub with the m/c date engraved on it. I'm also planning a tattoo. I'm thinking something purple-ish. Both June and February have purple toned birth stones, so trying to tie it all together.

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