No, Spotted Fox, your comment doesn't sound mean - no worries. But what you said did really make me evaluate my feelings towards this. I think I gave the wrong impression in my original post. Please bear with me, as its hard for me to understand my emotions as well as put them into words.
I think its hard for me because I feel like I know him the best, and I don't trust anyone enough to just "turn" him over to.
Another thing that is difficult for me is the feeling like I've failed him in some way. Most times, especially lately I feel like I do not have the tools to deal with his behavior. Yet I know that if I was getting more sleep and didn't have my younger one I would be able to do my best job possible for him. I'm always attaining to that goal - but what hurts the most is I'm not enough for him. Three days a week, I feel, would have been a supplementation. But 5 days a week, to me, feels like a validation of my own failure.
So, reading this back - it sounds so contradictory. I feel I am the best person to help him, but yet I feel like I am not the best person to help him. This is the story of my life.
Of course, my main concern is for his welfare and these are all tiny issues that will be resolved in time, Im sure. In fact, I shouldn't even be complaining! How silly is it that we fought for 2 years to get help and now that its handed to us, I have some regrets!!!
I guess the main concern is that I'm not sure what they will be doing to help him. In some subjects he is very bright. (Puzzles, math and language/reading). In other things, he needs alot of help (stimming and sensory/vestibular issues). If he is in a classroom with only other SN children, will he be able to get the attention and help he needs? Will he *ever* be able to join a classroom with typically developing children?
Queenof themeadow, I will take your advice and ask the dr. these questions. Also, I didn't know I could cut down the days if I wanted to. This does make me feel a little more comfortable.
SpottedFox, you said your son was in day school since 3.5 -Im sorry - I forget what Dx your son has. Could you remind me?
I guess by posting on here I was hoping for info such as what everyone elses LO's experienced going to SN programs. How it helped. How it didn't help, and if integrated classes are better. And if anyone knows what an "autism consultant" does.
Originally Posted by SpottedFoxx
I hope this doesn't come across as mean but... this is not about you. It's about your child and what is best for him. If he needs to be in school 5 days a week, then you will have to find something to do with your free time. You may even find an opportunity to volunteer at the school as a classroom Mom (something I wished I could do but work full time).
Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow
Now, I'm not saying just let him go, no questions asked. Call the dev. ped. and get your questions answered. Speak to and visit the class and teacher your son will be with. Give it a chance. You can always pull him out or cut down on the time he spends in the class if you need too.