or Connect
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Becoming a Big Family

Becoming a Big Family

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 

Is anyone else wondering how life will change with a "large" family? (I know some wouldn't consider 4 large but I do)... I'm wondering how life will change.  I'll have a 6, 4, 21 mo and newborn...any other large family's have some words of encouragement for me?!  Thanks :)

post #2 of 26
I am wondering the same thing. This is #4 for us as well. Mine are a bit more spaced out than yours though, so my fears are a bit different. They will be 12, 9, and 5 when the baby comes. Will be I be able to meet a teenager's and a baby's needs at the same time? Not worried about cars seats or diapers or naps, but sleepovers and long car trips and finding the calm to enjoy the baby with a busy big kid lifestyle. Totally excited for it though!
post #3 of 26

Number 4 here as well!  Mine are 13, 6, and 21 months.  I can practically hear the eye rolling from family now.  They think we're nuts for even having 3 kids.  LOL  Honestly the part that worries me the most is dealing with a 2 1/2 and a newbie.  The smallest age gap I have till now is 4 1/2 years!  We'll see.  Glad Im not the only x4 mommy here though :D

post #4 of 26

This is my fifth, our oldest will be five in November! smile.gif I honestly haven't given a whole lot of thought to how things will change simply because I already have four and they are so close in age... What's one more?? Haha! You will be fine. Your family will adjust and fall into a rhythm. I think big families are great!

post #5 of 26

Yea! This baby will be our fourth too! We have all boys, 11, 5, 2 and this wee one. I do think 4 is a large family, but we are still on the small side with many of our friends. I have friends with up to 8 children. I love the spacing of ours, but this baby is definitely our last.
 

post #6 of 26

I'm a huge reader, so I checked out some "large family" books from the library. It did help ease my mind a bit.

post #7 of 26

this is #4 and so far we have a 5 year old, 3 year old and a 1.5 year old. not sure how our life will change. I think I am a bit more prepared for this as I am the oldest of 4 however we were all spread apart. this two years apart is a bit hard. Harder on my husband as he is a SAHD and he is used to one sibling. But we will make it. 

post #8 of 26

This is number 7 for me, but my older 3 (ages 15, 13, 11) live with their dad and we only see them 1-2 nights a week. They just moved in with him last year because of schooling issues. I homeschooled them for 7 years and having a large family is easy when everyone works together, which I think is what large families are about. Kids in large families seem to be even more part of the team, because one person (mama) really CANT do it all, 24/7...I think having "so many kids" forces us out of our 4 person family cultural mindsets and helps us grow up as more of a community rather than Super Mom and dad raising the kids on their own. I am not saying that small families can't experience the same "community" that large families do, but it is easier for each to go their own way and do their own thing with less people to tend to. Being a large family is just different.

So, having said that, this is #4 with my current husband. When baby arrives they will be JUST turned 5, 3 3/4, and just turned 2. Having 3 under 4 on my own has been a lot harder than when I had my older kids here. I'm still adjusting I think.

From my previous life (ie, marriage) I would say one of your best bets is to work on giving your kids the skills to be self entertained (we practiced "blanket time"  for short periods of time. Although with my #4 and #5 so far that's been a huge flop most of the time. :/
 

post #9 of 26

this will be #4 for us, My kids are currently 6, 4, and 21 mo..  they will be almost 7, almost 5, and almost 2 and a half when the baby is born..  i kind of feel like 4 is no mans land, its not really large or 'normal'  or small .. its like we don't belong anywhere! nice huh?

 

My kids are all spaced about the same, 25 mo, 28 mo  and this time about 29 mo . so having a 2 year old is normal for me with a newborn.. its kind of nice, i feel like  i know what i'm getting into and i like it this way - though people think i'm crazy cause i keep spacing them the same .. not that i really intended to get pregnant this time, or last time :P

 

I don't feel like things will be that different for me, but i'm just not looking forward to the comments from family, friends and strangers .. Right now, this pregnancy is a secret .. I have 'warned' my parents in the past that we plan to have another.. so you'd think it wouldn't be that shocking but.. i don't know.. i don't want to hear any of it..  not the hands full crap, or the don't you know how this happens or the glad its you and not me type stuff .. i'm just extra sensitive  to all that this time.

post #10 of 26

This is #6 for me.  When the baby comes the kids will be 17, 16, just about 15, just about 7 and just about 5.

Right now the stress is a vehicle that will fit us all and acquiring baby stuff since we were done done done and gave away everything!

post #11 of 26

This is #5 for us. The ages will be 8, 7, 3 1/2 and 1... and baby. They are all boys so far. With #4 I noticed baby days were so much easier with the bigger boys to help. 

post #12 of 26

This is number 3 for us, so not a big family yet, (but bigger than average!), but I really hope to have a big family one day. I have friends with 6-8 kids as well... and I love seeing the large family dynamic. Mamabear hit it on the head I think; large families seem to have a sense of community. Love it! :)

post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by gingernerdygirl View Post

This is #6 for me.  When the baby comes the kids will be 17, 16, just about 15, just about 7 and just about 5.

Right now the stress is a vehicle that will fit us all and acquiring baby stuff since we were done done done and gave away everything!


We did this too after our last was born. It will be nice for this wee one to have some newer things though. I am really thinking we will need a few new diapers/covers and a bouncy seat. If we have a girl, then we'll need everything clothing wise. We're covered with the boy stuff & "boy" toys for sure. LOL

post #14 of 26

This baby will make #6 for us... I think that adjustment to #4 might be the hardest for people around you to expect.  3, they can just write off, like, "oops, must've been a surprise"... but 4 seems so blatantly intentional.  I found that once we got to 5, people just started embracing it for what it is and actually started "rooting" for us as a family.  I've had a large number of people this time around say "I was waiting, hoping, and thinking that we'd soon get to celebrate another C_______ baby."  :)  So I say, eh- let the naysayers say nay... they may actually change their minds over time.  

 

Don't let it get to you though.  I remember being so discouraged a few times when we were pg with #4 and had gotten some rude comments.  We actually told everyone about #5 by e-mail so that I wouldn't have to hear negative comments.  Anyway, hang in there.  Big families provide lots of neat interaction and life opportunities that will be awesome for you and your kiddos.  :)

post #15 of 26

Oh wow, MakingHome, I used to have your blog bookmarked! I thought you looked familiar! I only unbookmarked it because I felt called to be away from the computer more so I could be more present with my family and my home. :) I love your honest and faith-filled writing. So exciting that we're in the same DDC, I guess I'll have to add your blog to my list again.

 

eta: We are expecting our fifth. Our kids are spread out in age, so I have never really felt like a "big" family. Our oldest will be 16 soon - assuming she goes to college, she'll be gone when this baby is 18 months.


Edited by residentmuse - 6/21/12 at 1:27pm
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakingHome View Post

This baby will make #6 for us... I think that adjustment to #4 might be the hardest for people around you to expect.  3, they can just write off, like, "oops, must've been a surprise"... but 4 seems so blatantly intentional.  I found that once we got to 5, people just started embracing it for what it is and actually started "rooting" for us as a family.  I've had a large number of people this time around say "I was waiting, hoping, and thinking that we'd soon get to celebrate another C_______ baby."  :)  So I say, eh- let the naysayers say nay... they may actually change their minds over time.  

 

Don't let it get to you though.  I remember being so discouraged a few times when we were pg with #4 and had gotten some rude comments.  We actually told everyone about #5 by e-mail so that I wouldn't have to hear negative comments.  Anyway, hang in there.  Big families provide lots of neat interaction and life opportunities that will be awesome for you and your kiddos.  :)


 

thank you so much for this! i'm on #4 and really afraid of and irritated by all the negativity and comments and this just made me feel a lot better..

post #17 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post

This is number 3 for us, so not a big family yet, (but bigger than average!), but I really hope to have a big family one day. I have friends with 6-8 kids as well... and I love seeing the large family dynamic. Mamabear hit it on the head I think; large families seem to have a sense of community. Love it! smile.gif

We are also on our 3rd now, aiming for 4 total (or possibly 5 as I wanted to adopt 2, but now we are having another one so its up in the air now). We are totally out numbered I see, but at least we can get some good advice!

I am totally amazed at how many big families we have in this DDC, it's great to see so many families adding more to their bunch. My DH & I both only have 1 sibling, however both of my parents had 4 total. DH parents have 2 on his mom side and 5 on his dad side. Big families were "in" just one generation ago!
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by residentmuse View Post

Oh wow, MakingHome, I used to have your blog bookmarked! I thought you looked familiar! I only unbookmarked it because I felt called to be away from the computer more so I could be more present with my family and my home. smile.gif I love your honest and faith-filled writing. So exciting that we're in the same DDC, I guess I'll have to add your blog to my list again.

Wow, small world. smile.gif. No pressure to read the blog though, I totally understand about limiting online time. smile.gif
post #19 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by residentmuse View Post

Oh wow, MakingHome, I used to have your blog bookmarked! I thought you looked familiar! I only unbookmarked it because I felt called to be away from the computer more so I could be more present with my family and my home. :) I love your honest and faith-filled writing. So exciting that we're in the same DDC, I guess I'll have to add your blog to my list again.

 

eta: We are expecting our fifth. Our kids are spread out in age, so I have never really felt like a "big" family. Our oldest will be 16 soon - assuming she goes to college, she'll be gone when this baby is 18 months.

How fun!  Small world.  Well, no pressure to add my blog back in; I totally understand trying to cut down internet time.  :)  And congrats on your baby; that is quite a spread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by etsdtm99 View Post

 

thank you so much for this! i'm on #4 and really afraid of and irritated by all the negativity and comments and this just made me feel a lot better..

You're welcome, I'm glad it encouraged you.  Adding #4 was the most difficult for me, in terms of reactions from family & others.  After that, I guess people just embraced the chaos and uniqueness of our family, LOL.  :)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GnomeyNewt View Post

I am totally amazed at how many big families we have in this DDC, it's great to see so many families adding more to their bunch. 

Me too!  It seems like an unexpected treat to find other big families here, growing too.  :)

post #20 of 26

this will be baby #6 for us. For us the jump to 3 was the hardest. Our oldest however is 17 and the youngest is only 14 months. I havent had any this close together . it should be interesting

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Becoming a Big Family