Letting go of plans for a midwife birth - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[eleuthia]

I'm so sorry you're going through something similar! It is really horrifying to me that you haven't been able to find anyone to see you. And I can just imagine what will happen if/when you deliver in a hospital - I'm worried about that myself, if for some reason I need to go to the nearest hospital before I can get an appointment, and I have a stack of medical records to bring with me. I can just imagine hearing "Why haven't you been seeing an OB since your diagnosis?" and I will have the hardest time not punching anyone who tries to act like that is my fault. 

I think part of it is this area. My mom is a nurse in an OB/Gyn practice in western Michigan and she was pretty shocked that I'm having trouble transferring at this point, since that's not normal around there. She also mentioned that the teaching hospitals there have OB resident clinics that I guess will see any patient. I've tried to see if there's anything like that here but I haven't really found anything (except maybe at Temple? not sure if you're close enough to be familiar with Philly hospitals; I do not want to deliver there). 

[midstreammama]

Originally Posted by eleuthia 

 I can just imagine hearing "Why haven't you been seeing an OB since your diagnosis?" and I will have the hardest time not punching anyone who tries to act like that is my fault. 

funny mental pic, but I swear I felt like that when I called the first ob. She said no and I was kind of astonished and then I asked her where I could go..she said I don't really know..wtf.

After a while it just felt like people were trying to force these practicies into taking me and that didnt feel right either..I felt like I was setting myself up for failure becasue I was already going to be going in there with two strikes against me. kwim? So, I took it as a sign that the universe was telling me, I could do this. I feel better this time than any other. More calm and centered. Healthy.

I am not too far outside Philly.

On a semi-unrelated note:

My 7yo dd has a wart on her ear. A particular type that her ped wanted to be taken off by either a plastic surgeon or an ENT doc. I called two childrens hospitals in the area. Both the ENT and PS departments said I had to go to Dermatology. I explained what the ped said and they required a call from him..still a no go. They dont deal with warts..ok, so ped said go to Dermatology then..guess what..they dont deal with warts either. Where the heck do you go then..no one could give me an answer. I have decided that I have been black listed..lol I am just so sick of not being able to have something be straightforward..always with the red tape and hoops. If someone needs help, shouldnt you just help them for goodness sake?!

Im so sorry you are having to deal with this craziness too. Hopefully the universe will conspire for you to have just the things that you want fall right in your lap without too much more runaround.

[eleuthia]

Ugh, the story about your daughter... how frustrating, but not that surprising? I've dealt with similar things, since I need primary care referrals. I was having wrist pain before getting pregnant and when I called my primary office they tried to send me to... sports medicine? Uh, my pain isn't from sports, and that office is an hour away by bus, so no. Then after having a visit with my doctor, she tried to refer me to orthopedics. Well, they do *surgery* and since I got pregnant 2 weeks later, I just didn't even bother making an appointment. What I needed was a physiatrist or physical med & rehab doctor and a referral to PT, but... I'm just the patient, so what do I know? Fortunately, acupuncture helped. 

I don't know at what point I should give up and go to the doctor who has to take me. That hospital, even though the nurses aren't good and it's at best a 1/2 hour drive away (1.5 hours by public transit), at least has only private rooms so I wouldn't have to spend the night alone. It's just going to be so inconvenient to get to appointments and I hate going in feeling like I'm going to have to fight to have a birth/postpartum experience that isn't traumatic. 

[eleuthia]

Also, I think paying attention to those signs from the universe is important! I really think the universe is pointing me to being in the hospital for birth. Like, a bunch of things needed to align for me to be diagnosed with the placenta/cord issue, so I think there is a reason behind it. I'm glad you are feeling at peace about how things are turning out for you! I hope we both get the births we're meant to have. 

[monkeyscience]

Just wanted to say GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR about doctors refusing to see you! I agree that it is completely stupid for them to be like, Oh my goodness, you need prenatal care! and then turn around and say, But not from us, definitely not from us! And they wonder why they have "trouble" with transfers? Um, maybe because they start it?!?

[rebecca10]

Oh eleuthia, I am so sorry you are dealing with this.  Doctors are just so unbelievably frustrating!  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you find a great place soon.  

[eleuthia]

i have a practice!!! my old ob/gyn office is letting me transfer. and this is an office that is OBs and midwives, which means i get to see the midwife there that i really like! i am sure i will see the OBs too, which is good, but it's a relief to know i will be seeing someone who gets where i'm coming from. and i'm familiar with some of the other doctors - two of them did my vaginal surgery last august and were pretty great when i was in a ton of pain. and the office and hospital are very close to my workplace, which will be convenient for appointments. or if i go into labor at work! 

it is so good to finally have this settled. even if it's not my first choice, at least now i can adjust my expectations and prepare since i know where i'll be. 

[monkeyscience]

Yay!! Glad you finally have someone, and that you've had good experiences with them in the past. Hopefully things are much more settled and boring from here on out!

[sarahdb]

This is such a relief to hear! I find it so disheartening that so often medical care seems to miss the mark. I mean, shouldn't doctors WANT to help those who need it, especially those who need it most desperately? I know it's all complicated because of liability and insurance and blah blah blah. But it just seems so fundamentally wrong! And then the powerless patient gets caught in the middle and suffers the consequences. Anyway, not to rant--really happy you can breathe a sigh of relief, and here's hoping you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

[andaluza]

So glad that you were able to find a practice, Eleuthia, and one that you are comfortable with at that!

My situation pales in comparison to yours, but I'm still in shock and didn't sleep from 2-6 am with this on my mind. My ob dropped a bomb on me yesterday that she's just ceasing ob care as of now...and not seeing her currently pregnant patients through, either. She had initially claimed (last month or a bit earlier) that she was changing hospitals, which was shock enough, but I have the feeling that she was leading up to this all along. Makes me feel like crap for trusting her, since she clearly had this in the works for a while. I am going to see one of the obs that she recommended who delivers at the hospital I prefer next week. My ob wanted me to go with a different ob at another hospital, but I insisted on seeing one she's worked with at the hospital I thought I'd deliver at all along. I really hope I get a good impression of her.

[eleuthia]

Ugh, Andaluza, I would be so angry about that... she should have stopped taking patients and let current patients know much earlier than she did. It's definitely a shock and not what you should have to be thinking about at this point. I know for me it put all my other baby preparations on hold until I got things settled (and I had a couple bad dreams about being turned away from care). I'm glad you get to stick with your original hospital, and I hope you like your new OB!