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New here, looking for help with ideas for chronically ill child

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 

Hello,

 

My name is Lisa and I am from North Carolina.  I have a daughter who is 15 and a freshman in high school at public school here in  NC.

 

She has lupus, which is an autoimmune disease which is chronic and incurable.  She usually misses about 30 school days a year due to either illness or doctor appointments/specialists etc. 

 

It was easier to manage when she was younger, but as she has gotten older school has gotten more difficult (in terms of content to be learned, amount of content, as well as how hard it is to "keep up and catch up" when she is out sick).  Also her illness has progressed, especially this year.  (Lupus is "triggered" by stress, which for her has steadily increased with school. I have been holding off lupus drugs for a long time, and this year, we had to finally give in and put her on her very first immunosuppressant.)

 

She has gotten increasingly stressed out due to school over the past maybe 3 years.  Middle school  started our major problems. The schools dont use textbooks for curriculum any more, so I find it increasingly difficult to re-teach her missed material. She is on an IEP (has been for years) but the school system here has not been friendly to our situation and has not offered a single accomodation to help her keep up with school. 

 

She is probably a "B" student, but her grades slipped this year and now she has two "D"s on her most recent report card. She is a bright kid, (not gifted, but bright enough to manage B's and the occasional A).  She wants to go to college. She is so depressed that this year, I brought her to a psych, and he diagnosed her with an anxiety and depression disorder.  So now we are dealing with that on top of lupus.

 

I joined this forum as I am looking for help from anyone else who has a sick child IN HIGH SCHOOL (sorry I am typing all caps not to yell but to emphasise-I find school issues to be MUCH differently handled in high school than in elementary-in elementary we had no problems).  I need ideas on how you keep your kids up with the lectures happening in the classroom.

 

Here in NC we dont exactly have stellar schools. NC spends the 2nd to lowest amount on K-12 education in the entire nation.  So money is ridiculous and here in my city, which is a large city in NC, the school system is "known" for just blatantly ignoring IEPs, having IEPs that are ineffective, and basically stonewalling parents and taking the stance that they dont care how many laws they break, becasue they know parents will not be able to hire lawyers to sue them.  It is a VERY aggressive school system and well known in the area for this type of behavior. I am at the point after going through this for about five years that I think hiring a lawyer may be our only option. But I dont have the $10k it will cost and I am putting off the only option I have-to pull all the money out of my IRA to pay for this--to try to find any help I might be able to find out there in the cyber-universe  :)

 

Thanks for reading this LONG post and for any ideas anyone might have. I appreciate it so much!

post #2 of 46
Not the parent of a chronically ill child, not the parent of a high schooler, but

Less expensive than a lawyer but possibly more proactive is an educational advocate. Have you used one? I have someone that knows the district, knows the teachers and administrators, and speaks their language. She smooths things over very quickly with a phone call, and she managed to help us craft a much better IEP -- the school even thanked her --- as someone without emotional energynwrapped up in the situation. She costs us $72/hour. We just paid the bill and the total in getting DD out of her hole and onto a positive and strong IEP cost about $500 total. The day I hired her was the first day in several months that I slept all the way through the night without spending a few hours awake stewing and fretting.
post #3 of 46

What about contacting local media, they might do a story on how the district is blatantly ignoring the law.

post #4 of 46
Thread Starter 

We have spent about $3000 on advocates (2 different ones) over recent years. They were good for certain things, but they are really not used to working with kids who miss a lot of school, nor do they seem very used to working with high school situations. Its a whole different world in high school. I feel like a long time ago they would have been helpful, but not now.

 

We also filed a complaint with the state and went to state mediation, which cost us a bundle to hire an advocate for that.  That was a few years ago. We did get some help out of that, (they have us 10 hours of tutoring over the summer, one on one with a teacher, to help with some remedial math work she missed). I found the state appointed mediator to be clueless, uneducated, and not helpful at all.

 

We are hesitant to call the media because my daughter is a teenager, and has anxiety already--and this would cause her a lot of additional stress. She has never told any of her friends that she is ill-not even her closest friends. She is very much someone who wants to "fit in" (i guess like any teenager).  We have her seeing a therapist to deal with her issues about her illness. 

post #5 of 46

I have three kids in high school, two of whom have been attending part-time, all of whom have done a lot of independent study. For us this has been helpful because my kids are very involved in music, have done a lot of travelling, and have required "out of grade level" coursework to keep them challenged and engaged. They've done a combination of on-line courses, distance learning and self-designed independent study courses. Most of this they did away from school, in fact my eldest dd did her entire senior year without setting foot in the school building except for writing a couple of exams.

 

Does your school district have any provision for distance education or cyber-schooling? Or part-time attendance / part-time homeschooling? I ask just to ask ... it sounds like you're dealing with a nightmare of a school district that really doesn't care about alternatives and doesn't entertain outside-the-box solutions at all. Is there anything at the state level in the cyber-school vein?

 

Alternatively, what about full-time homeschooling through an umbrella school? Clonlara is one that I'm familiar with that has a good reputation for supporting student in various forms of learning. In terms of actual course content, you would probably have to pay for some materials, but overall I'd think this would be considerably less expensive than hiring a lawyer.

 

Miranda

post #6 of 46

I also highly suggest the online charter schools. I believe North Carolina Virtual Public School is one that goes through high school. My chronically ill child is still young so we  are not where you are at. How ever, I personally did have issues in high school and was pulled out by my parents to do my schooling at home. They were not the home school type and virtual schools were not around so I did 3 years of high school by correspondence classes which worked very well. I was able to work on my school work when I felt like it and take a break during times I needed it. I ended up completing high school 1.5 years early. Of course being a teenager,at first I thought not gong to regular public school with my friends was a death sentence! After a short adjustment period, I soon loved it. I could still hang out after school, weekends, and I was able to purse other interests thatI would not of had the time to do prior. 

post #7 of 46

I sympathize with your frustrations but if the school administrators and teachers are flouting the IEP process then I question whether they will abide by a judge's decision about schooling either. Both are supposed to have the force of law. It will become a little like a custody battle, where parents are supposed to abide by the custody agreement but if they don't then it's a tough battle to get any kind of satisfaction. It's also slow and expensive to run back to the court every time the school doesn't comply with whatever the judge ordered and likely ineffective in the long term anyway. 

 

I don't think the school district should get away with such shoddy treatment of students, but it sounds like a class action suit would get better results because it might result in larger, sweeping changes in administration, policy and practice. Unfortunately, class action suits take a long time. Your DD will probably be a college grad and maybe a lawyer herself before a class action suit delivers a remedy. So I don't think a class action will help your DD in the near future, but you may want to consider joining with other parents and students as a way of dealing with your frustration and also to help others. 

 

Since you have already enlisted the support of educational advocates, you've probably already tried this route, but it's worth suggesting: Are there any alternative programs or alternative schools for chronically ill children? I would check through the children's hospital, if you have one. The social workers there may be able to help.  Parents in local support groups may also have some BTDT advice for you.   

post #8 of 46
Actually, change can happen, but it takes longer than this OP has. A group of 17 sets of parents here, working over 4+ years, filed a complaint with the state's board of ed. BOE found in favor of the students.

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/09/24/ua-schools-broke-law-on-testing-state-finds.html

BOE backed it up with a clear statement that there is no appeal:

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/11/15/state-rejects-ua-appeal-on-dyslexia-aid.html

This led to a huge shake up and a change in tune from the school. Our school was the focal point of all this. Many of the teachers had been bullied by the administration, and were as frustrated as the parents. A lot of reeducation has been happening, but I credit this group for the reason that DD has an IEP and that the teachers respect it.

I know this isn't what the OP is looking for. If anyone is reading along, it can happen. Like I said, the parent who started this all has been battling -- with the help of advocates and lawyers-- for 4 years.
post #9 of 46

Do you have any online charter high schools in your area? There are many in our area and we know many kids who participate in them for various reasons. There is class time and supervising teacher's provided. Some kids we know go into class once a week... others choose to go in for a couple hours every day. Depends on the child and what they feel they need. Even most of the traditional public school districts offer an "I-high" sort of deal.... virtual school. Something like this might be of benefit in your situation. 

 

We're not in your situation but we have some experience with the inflexibility of high school. It's quite a different world from middle and elementary. We've not had much luck fighting them about anything. We have chosen to go an alternative route specific to DD. 

post #10 of 46
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate it.


We DO have online high here in NC.  But I have been reluctant for a couple of years to remove her from high school, either for homeschooling and/or online high.  She is SUCH a social kid-she has friends, a boyfriend, wants to be involved in clubs and cant wait for her prom and ALL of that kind of high school stuff.  She would be devastated to be removed from school. Often when she gets sick, she is "stuck in the house" for weeks at a time, and she absolutely hates not being in school. For her, school is where she feels normalcy.

 

Plus, I am headstrong in my opinion that the public school is REQUIRED by law to educate my kid. Despite the fact that she is sick, she has a right to an education like every other kid. The struggle I am having right now is what most of you noted: by the time I battle and battle and battle-it will be too late to help her.  I feel so strongly that it is the RIGHT thing to do--but it will take so long that it will not happen in time to help my child.

 

I am off to read that link on the class action--there are so many parents here dealing with this, I want to share it with my group.  Thing is, everyone in my group is also dealing with children who are ill, so that really takes over our lives.  Time to devote to anything like this would be so hard for everyone.

post #11 of 46

You might be surprised at how much social time virtual schoolers get. Most programs in our area offer some planned outings and typical events like prom. When your school work only takes 3 or 4 hours a day with no homework, well, you have LOTS more time to do activities and be with friends. The kids we know that homeschool or virtual school have far more real social interaction than my own kids have.

 

I do know how you feel about wanting to force the school to do what they need but I also know that there are times you just need to decide that your fight will be for other people's children, not your own. We've had to make some tough decisions this past school year because our kids were not thriving. Our kids resisted change and left to their own devices, would have stayed because it was all they really knew and they both didn't want to feel like quitters. In the end though, both were incredibly relieved once we took the decision out of their hands (they were given ample time to work it out, we worked closely with the schools, all that could have been done was done.) Now both are happier, thriving and looking forward to new adventures and schooling opportunities.

 

Just something to think about. I guess I've just not seen a case get better without some serious intervention and it may just not come in time for your DD.

post #12 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmamka View Post

Plus, I am headstrong in my opinion that the public school is REQUIRED by law to educate my kid. 

 

I live in Canada where there is universal medicare. Doctors are required by law to treat my child. But that doesn't mean I'll take my kid to a doctor for an illness or injury that I know will be best treated by an alternative health care provider. Sure, I support the medicare system whole-heartedly: I think it should be in place for those who need it, and as a safety net for my own family. But if I feel another approach is best suited for a particular child at a particular time, I'm not going to feel obliged to use the medicare system anyway.

 

Having disagreed with you on that count, I will say that I do get the sense in which school represents normalcy to your dd, a touchstone of happiness and routine and a social world that she needs as she struggles with her lupus. 

 

I wonder if there is the possibility of dual enrolment in the cyber school and her bricks-and-mortar school? Meaning she could do English, History and Math through the cyber school and the rest of her courses in the classroom for example. My kids have been enrolled in an assortment of bricks-and-mortar classes and self-directed classes, and this means that when they're out of school for travel they can focus on their self-directed courses, getting way ahead in that coursework. Then when they're back in the classroom, they can let the self-directed courses slide for a while and put their energy into catching up in the three or four in-class courses. The flexibility to change the focus like this really helps keep the stress down.

 

Miranda

post #13 of 46

Okay, I tried posting this yesterday, but had computer problems, so I'm trying again: 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post

Actually, change can happen, but it takes longer than this OP has. A group of 17 sets of parents here, working over 4+ years, filed a complaint with the state's board of ed. BOE found in favor of the students.
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/09/24/ua-schools-broke-law-on-testing-state-finds.html
BOE backed it up with a clear statement that there is no appeal:
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/11/15/state-rejects-ua-appeal-on-dyslexia-aid.html
This led to a huge shake up and a change in tune from the school. Our school was the focal point of all this. Many of the teachers had been bullied by the administration, and were as frustrated as the parents. A lot of reeducation has been happening, but I credit this group for the reason that DD has an IEP and that the teachers respect it.
I know this isn't what the OP is looking for. If anyone is reading along, it can happen. Like I said, the parent who started this all has been battling -- with the help of advocates and lawyers-- for 4 years.

 

 

 

Good work by those persistent parents - well done! It's terrible that it took so long to get anywhere. The story supports my point that group action tends to get results, whereas an individual may continue to be frustrated even if successful in a lawsuit. At least, that's what I glean from the comments. It appears that at least one student reached a settlement agreement (presumably to end litigation, although the comment doesn't elaborate) with the district at some point in the past but the district failed to comply. It's also interesting that the successful group action in this case wasn't through the courts. 

 

OP, I hope that there are better and much quicker solutions for your DD. 

 

It might help to contact a few colleges and discuss admission criteria and academic pathways with them. If the district refuses to make any accommodations for your DD and part-time schooling or homeschooling aren't options, I am wondering if your DD might benefit from focusing on a couple of key subjects in the next couple of years at school and just letting her grades in the others slide. She can construct a 5 or 6 year plan for getting to college - repeating any courses as necessary if she needs to improve grades, as well as building non-academic experiences such as volunteer positions. Obviously, that's a plan that she shouldn't embark on without some advice from college admissions people. It probably wouldn't work if she's hoping for scholarships or financial support. I've known a few people who took the long route to college and entered a year or two or more later than planned. They stumbled in high school for various reasons and didn't get back on track right away, but once they started college, they did well. 

 

 

post #14 of 46

Another option is to find a private school that is willing to follow her IEP and give her current school written notice of your intent to enroll her in a private school at public expense.

 

Procedural Safeguards, Parent Notice with Resources ... - Wrightslaw

Quote:

Parent Notice

If parents decide to place their child unilaterally in a private school and want the school to reimburse them for the private placement, they must take specific steps to protect their rights.

 

The parents must advise the IEP team that they are rejecting the proposed IEP and state “their concerns and their intent to enroll their child in a private school at public expense.”

OR

10 BUSINESS DAYS before removing the child from the public school, the parent must give the school WRITTEN NOTICE of “their intent to enroll the child in a private school at public expense.”

 

 

Wrightslaw Success Stories - How I Won a Private Placement by ...

 

Alert! Appeals Court Upholds Four Years of ... - Wrightslaw

 

"Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy"

"Wrightslaw: Special Education Law, 2nd Edition"
 

 


Edited by Emmeline II - 6/18/12 at 8:05am
post #15 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

 

I live in Canada where there is universal medicare. Doctors are required by law to treat my child. But that doesn't mean I'll take my kid to a doctor for an illness or injury that I know will be best treated by an alternative health care provider. Sure, I support the medicare system whole-heartedly: I think it should be in place for those who need it, and as a safety net for my own family. But if I feel another approach is best suited for a particular child at a particular time, I'm not going to feel obliged to use the medicare system anyway.

 

Having disagreed with you on that count, I will say that I do get the sense in which school represents normalcy to your dd, a touchstone of happiness and routine and a social world that she needs as she struggles with her lupus. 

 

I wonder if there is the possibility of dual enrolment in the cyber school and her bricks-and-mortar school? Meaning she could do English, History and Math through the cyber school and the rest of her courses in the classroom for example. My kids have been enrolled in an assortment of bricks-and-mortar classes and self-directed classes, and this means that when they're out of school for travel they can focus on their self-directed courses, getting way ahead in that coursework. Then when they're back in the classroom, they can let the self-directed courses slide for a while and put their energy into catching up in the three or four in-class courses. The flexibility to change the focus like this really helps keep the stress down.

 

Miranda

Thanks for your response Miranda. And I agree with your perspective on healthcare. But in the United States, we have laws protecting kids with health issues. Schools are REQUIRED BY LAW to provide accomodations to kids who are sick (or disabled, etc) under multiple federal laws.  The school is required to provide an education to the child which is individualized and accomodates their disability (which is what "IDEA" is).  So thats why I see this as different.  I may have a sick kid and choose to use an alternative health care provider, like I dont know, an acupuncturist or something, some kind of non-traditional medicine. And that is my choice. However, education is different, at least in the US.  Here, schools are required to bend outside of their box and make it work for kids.  And they dont, in some states. In other states, they do a great job. 

The correlation to the universal healthcare example you gave would be something like this: you have a son who is sick, and you take him to a doctor, who refuses to treat him. The doctor is required, by law, to provide the healthcare, but does not.  And then what would be your response? That you should go outside the system and privately pay someone to treat him? Or would you want to fight?

post #16 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmamka View Post

The correlation to the universal healthcare example you gave would be something like this: you have a son who is sick, and you take him to a doctor, who refuses to treat him. The doctor is required, by law, to provide the healthcare, but does not.  And then what would be your response? That you should go outside the system and privately pay someone to treat him? Or would you want to fight?

 

Well, I see the metaphor differently. The  metaphorical doc isn't refusing to treat your child; he's just set in his ways and has a belief in the value of his approach. You take you kid to the doc with something, say, unrelenting insomnia. Despite your desire to try some herbal approaches first, the doc insists that a prescription sedative is the best approach. So after a bit of discussion resulting in a clear disagreement, you ditch the doc and go to a naturopath, believing this to be in your child's best interest. You could stay and argue forever with the doc about whether there's value in trying valerian root or melatonin. But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best. 

 

Even in the best of circumstances schools are not required to provide the optimal educational environment for any child. They are only required to provide "appropriate education." Personally I prefer optimal education to simply appropriate education, so if that is within my means to create, I'm not going to bother pushing the school to provide an adequate/appropriate program.

 

Is it the particular school you've chosen that is required to bend to accommodate a child's needs? Here in Canada the responsibility falls to the school district as a whole. A highly gifted child might be offered accommodations by enrolling in a TAG school, and a child with severe developmental delays and behavioral issues might be accommodated at a school with suitable specialized services. Or, in the case of a chronically ill child they might suggest tutor-assisted school at home, or a cyber-schooling arrangement. It can be a bit of a struggle for both parents and schools to agree upon the best arrangement, but still, it's not a case of the school district absolving themselves of responsibility. Rather they look beyond the walls of a particular school to provide the best public education solution for a particular student.

 

Do you know whether it would be possible for your dd to take a handful of courses on-line while continuing to be enrolled at her school of choice for others?

 

Miranda

post #17 of 46
Kmamka,

I wonder if maybe a change of tactics is appropriate here. I'm struck by the fact that your DD hasn't disclosed her condition to her friends, which makes me wonder how much she's discussed it with her teachers. At this age, it's hard to come out and talk about it, especially for the first time. I do wonder, however, if the teachers would be more compliant with the existing IEP, and even helping with informal accommodations as needed if your DD wouod start advocating for herself. Have her set up meetings with each teacher to explain the condition, how it makes her feel, and have her communicate that she wants to succeed, but she needs some understanding from them to get there. I do wonder if some of the issue here is that when they see her, she always looks healthy, and that she doesn't discuss it. So to the teacher, it looks slightly manufactured, since they never see or hear any evidence of it. Of course living up ti the IEP is their JOB, but there is a human element to these things. The teacher needs to see it directly to really get it sometimes.

She might also disclose her condition to a few trusted friends who can help with simple things like sharing notes, handing things in for her, bringing her homework.

You sound very frustrated, and I really understand your desire to have the school live up to their end of their responsibilities. Sometimes having the child advocate is going to be necessary, especially as they get older. She'll have to do this herself once she gets to college. I'm a professor, so I get students registered with the office of disabilities. Sometimes when I have no idea why they're registered, it's hard for me to adapt appropriately. Many of my students seem really timid to talk about their struggles, whereas if they'd just tell me, I could go a long ways to help with really simple informal accommodations. For students that have talked to me, I've handed over notes, given extra time, and allowed for submitting work in a different form (eg typing instead of doing something handwritten). Federal law bars me from talking to parents, so this really needs to come from the student.
post #18 of 46

Geofizz, that's a very good point. Taking responsibility for communicating one's struggles tends to come across to teachers as "really making an effort," and is therefore usually received favourably. My 15yo ds has dysgraphia, and he'll be writing two provincial exams this week -- with strict rules about time limits and such. He made a point last week of quietly pulling aside the teachers who teach each of those courses and reminding them of the accommodations written into his learning plan, ensuring that he'd have access to a computer for paragraph and essay answers and extra time for the pencil-and-paper short-answer stuff and diagrammatic stuff. It was tough for him to take that step, but put his usual quirky spin on it and managed to come out feeling fine about it ... and the teachers responded very supportively.

 

Miranda

post #19 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
 But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best.

 

The reality is that the school is in violation of the law  and has a history of doing so.

Quote:
...here in my city, which is a large city in NC, the school system is "known" for just blatantly ignoring IEPs, having IEPs that are ineffective, and basically stonewalling parents and taking the stance that they dont care how many laws they break, becasue they know parents will not be able to hire lawyers to sue them.  It is a VERY aggressive school system and well known in the area for this type of behavior.

 

Our special education law has procedural protections for parents/children and remedies (mediation, due process) but if the school is determined to be "uncooperative" it can be a long, hard road. If and how to fight is up to the OP.

 

An IEP is in place (which means the school already agreed to its provisions) and the school is legally required to follow it to provide FAPE (free and appropriate education) to this student. If the school is not following the IEP then it is not treating this student appropriately. An IEP is meaningless unless it is implemented.

 

Quote:
The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 2004 has two primary purposes. The first purpose is to provide an education that meets a child’s unique needs and prepares the child for further education, employment, and independent living. The second purpose is to protect the rights of both children with disabilities and their parents.

 

Under IDEA/IEP, if your child has a disability that adversely affects educational performance, your child is entitled to an education that is designed to meet the child's unique needs and from which your child receives educational benefit.

 

A 504 (from section 504 of the American's with Disabilities Act) is helping your child get the same education that everyone else is getting--more for a student that needs accommodations to help them learn (like sitting next to the teacher) or for behavior, and that they are not punished for things that they cannot control due to the disability.


Edited by Emmeline II - 6/18/12 at 7:04pm
post #20 of 46

OP- your child is not required nor is the school/teachers required to know what is going on with your DD (sure you know that) -it's strictly a private matter and I respect what you are doing- she certainly does not need that added stress to every thing else-IMO

 

I really would contact your local state rep and your local/state wide disabilities organization and see if you can get any legal council that would at least write a letter on your behalf for free-document with those organizations what the school is not doing per the IEP 

 

Have you asked http://www.lupus.org/newsite/index.html for any help with the school?

 

 

 

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
 But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best.

 

The reality is that the school is in violation of the law  and has a history of doing so.

sadly many do this and won't do anything unless their feet are held to the fire by a good lawyer!

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