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Mucho privato.. but need help.

post #1 of 234
Thread Starter 

What is the most used term for a vagina for a 3 yr old. Recently my daughter got potty-trained and I am struggling to use words to ask her to clean her 'Vagina'. I don't want to use the V word.. sounds too heavy. For her back I use 'tushie' and I am comfortable with it. I sometimes use 'buns' or even 'buttocks' and I am fine with all of those.

 

Just am stumped with the vag name :( 

 

Please help. Don't want to use the P-word!

 

 

ETA: Just to clarify. She knows it is her vagina. Not looking for something cute. I want to alternate that usage with another ..less heavy-handed is all. For some reason am feeling very school-marmish asking her to 'Please clean her vagina"....is all.

post #2 of 234
Thread Starter 

Ok a small observation:

 

I went and searched for some threads and something interesting caught my eye (almost like a common thread).

 

Some people have responded with - "We call them Vagina and Vulva. Don't want to use cutesy names. We call the backside 'Butt, bottom..tush' etc."

 

Well.. seemed a bit ..err..how do I put this.. let's go with odd.. odd to me :)

 

I am not into confusing her or ashamed of the words. Just something softer for my wee girl is all.

post #3 of 234

I use the word vulva.  When they are learning about wiping from the potty, I might just say "Wipe yourself."  or "Time to wipe."

 

I am one of those people who don't use vagina when that's not what I mean.

 

I supposed I'd use "bottom" too for a very young child.

post #4 of 234

This topic is of interest to me. I have a son, and we just call his penis "wee wee"...without having made a decision to do so ~just happened. I know some people think this infers shame, but to me it is just age-appropriate. By the same token, we call his backside his "bum-bum", and one could just as well say that is shaming and we should call it by its proper name: anus. Uh, I don't think so. When he is older we will say penis, but for now it's his wee wee. IMO shame is inferred in so many other ways and a healthy sexuality is picked up from the parents' general attitude...not just through words.

 

Anyway the other day he asked about my wee wee and I told him that girls don't have wee wees...but then I was stumped what to say. I also felt like vagina or vulva was too serious (plus a two year old needs only one word ~differentiating would be too confusing...just as I don't at this point use the term scrotum or testicles). So we are also needing an age-appropriate word for girly bits....
 

post #5 of 234
Vulva or labia is best. The vagina is the inside part that no one sees.

Always, always use the proper words with your kids. make sure they can name their parts with no shame!
post #6 of 234

I guess I don't see the word "vulva" as heavy.

post #7 of 234

yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

post #8 of 234
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by P.J. View Post

This topic is of interest to me. I have a son, and we just call his penis "wee wee"...without having made a decision to do so ~just happened. I know some people think this infers shame, but to me it is just age-appropriate. By the same token, we call his backside his "bum-bum", and one could just as well say that is shaming and we should call it by its proper name: anus. Uh, I don't think so. When he is older we will say penis, but for now it's his wee wee. IMO shame is inferred in so many other ways and a healthy sexuality is picked up from the parents' general attitude...not just through words.

 

Anyway the other day he asked about my wee wee and I told him that girls don't have wee wees...but then I was stumped what to say. I also felt like vagina or vulva was too serious (plus a two year old needs only one word ~differentiating would be too confusing...just as I don't at this point use the term scrotum or testicles). So we are also needing an age-appropriate word for girly bits....
 

Thank you.

 

I am in the same boat. No shaming. She already knows it is a vagina. I find vulva even more 'heavy' on the ears. So no - no vulva yet... will do it when she is 4-5 yrs maybe.

But I cannot imagine saying "Have you cleaned your vulva well sweetie" when she is 4 years old.

 

 

Wish there were a cleaner healthier softer version that I could use. 

 

Like bottom/buns/tush for anus. 

 

Am also completely fine with penis and would have used that if she were a boy. 

 

Sigh!


Edited by Blessed_Mom - 6/16/12 at 4:25pm
post #9 of 234
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

I say 'baby is in mommy's stomach' for now (I am pregnant).

 

 

She will learn uterus when she is 5-7 yrs old. I guess people may flame me..but she understands stomach. Even if I were to tell her uterus..she will currently have no idea what I mean..and she has time enough to learn that....

 

I guess I find myself being somewhere in the middle - I do NOT want cutesie names at all.... I just want something softer..until she grows older...

 

For me tush/buns/butt/bottom are perfect.... and seem soft when I say "Have you cleaned your tush well? Can we clean your buns now..." Instead of "Can you clean your anus"

 

:-(

post #10 of 234
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

 

 

See the bolded part. Don't you find it contradictory? She doesn't understand what a vagina is but she understands uterus? My DD just turned 3. If I cannot explain vagina to her how can I explain uterus? 

 

ETA: Also did you notice... when people acknowledge that they use bottom/butt no one is batting an eyelid that it is not the technical term. But when I mention I don't want to use vagina/vulva people want me to use the correct technical term.

 

Promise.. not wanting to cause an argument.. just am trying to point out the anomalies. 

 

I think there is a middle ground - like the bottom or the butt...but am unable to find it. Can someone help?


Edited by Blessed_Mom - 6/16/12 at 1:35pm
post #11 of 234

just to point out what is probably obvious once you think about it... the word *vagina* is just a word. YOU are making it "HEAVY".

 

say it lightly, say it in passing, say it with no shame on YOUR part and it is simply a word, no weird feelings, no nothing. 

 

same goes for penis.

post #12 of 234
We use vulva with our 2yo. We say bottom for the buttocks as that is the most common term used where we are. The anus is just the opening of the rectum, the hole if you like, so we don't use anus when we mean buttocks. I get what people are saying about a double standard but if we were being really correct we'd say gluteus Maximus which really is a bit of a mouthful for a toddler.
post #13 of 234
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicana View Post

just to point out what is probably obvious once you think about it... the word *vagina* is just a word. YOU are making it "HEAVY".

 

say it lightly, say it in passing, say it with no shame on YOUR part and it is simply a word, no weird feelings, no nothing. 

 

same goes for penis.

 

 

Disagree. And I feel you did not -either- read all my posts or did not understand what I was trying to convey.

 

She knows it is her vagina. She knows the word anus. She doesn't know rectum (it hasn't come up). I am completely open with her. I see NO SHAME in the word. No weird feelings. IF she were a boy I would have used the word penis!

 

I haven't told her there is a baby in my uterus. I see NO SHAME in the word uterus. I still prefer to say' baby in my stomach'. 

 

So I am really talking about the 'sound' of it.. not any shame in the words. 

 

At this time I have said all there is to say about it I guess... will not repeat things further.

post #14 of 234

I somehow started using "crotch" with my daughter a long time ago, and that's as specific as we've gotten.  She has a bum and a crotch.  I think it's still an accurate term, just non-specific.  Sometimes lately she will point and specifically ask about  what's down there.  Then I tell her.  I think vagina IS a heavy word to use, and I don't think that it's you that makes it heavy - I think it's a heavy word in our culture.  Vulva, to me, is too specific.  If they're wiping their vulva, shouldn't they also wipe the labia?  Too confusing.  I'm stickin' with crotch.

post #15 of 234

I don't know anyone who doesn't call it a pee pee.

post #16 of 234
I don't understand what you mean by "heavy."
post #17 of 234
We use yoni....has beautiful goddess origin yet is kinda kidfriendly even for
pronunciation. My daughter also knows anatomical names
post #18 of 234
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

Thank you.

I am in the same boat. No shaming. She already knows it is a vagina. I find vulva even more 'heavy' on the ears. So no - no vulva yet... will do it when she is 4-5 yrs maybe.
But I cannot imagine saying "Have you cleaned your vulva well sweetie" when she is 4 years old. Wish there were a cleaner healthier softer version

Like bottom/buns/tush for anus. 

Am also completely fine with penis and would have used that if she were a boy. 

Sigh!

What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"
post #19 of 234

BMama, dd doesn't know vagina b/c she can't see, feel, or otherwise know it's there ;)  she is pre-he-tty sure she has a vulva. 

 

she got to interact with the baby in the uterus b/c i was pregnant when she was learning vocab.  and wanted birth stories, so i included uterus. 

i try to use anatomical words with her, anus, etc. but like i said, she just likes to say (scream) butt! 

 

of course you can call it whatever you want~ i just am inclined to believe that it's never too early to learn the proper names for body parts.  dd likes to look at anatomy books, we have one by DK that she really likes to look at.  she can also point to her clavicle and patella, but i have a pretty weird kid.  :)

post #20 of 234
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post


What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"

 

Yeah, I'd like clarification on that, as well.

 

 

Perhaps you should consider "sacred well". 

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