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Mucho privato.. but need help. - Page 2

post #21 of 234
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post

What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"


Oh.. I meant as opposed to the P-word. One of my friends uses it and I don't like it (Pu$$y)


To summarize.. was looking for a clean, healthy but kid-friendly version that 'rolls of the tongue' easily (is what I mean by not heavy)

post #22 of 234
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by PhoenixMommaToTwo View Post


Yeah, I'd like clarification on that, as well.



Perhaps you should consider "sacred well". 

I was writing with many thoughts in my mind all at once.. the juxtaposition was unfortunate.


The second sentence was a summary of all my thoughts.

post #23 of 234
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by freegirl23cat View Post

We use yoni....has beautiful goddess origin yet is kinda kidfriendly even for
pronunciation. My daughter also knows anatomical names



I would have used this had I not thought that if she were in any kind of trouble and wanted to convey to someone else that she had trouble in her vagina/vulva - she wouldn't be understood :(


All along I have been using vagina. But in the course of these replies.. I think labia sounds better. Maybe I will start using labia (silly isn't it.. I could have googled and got the answer..but I wondered what the common terms were and wanted the opinion of more moms)

post #24 of 234

Our DD knows vagina, labia, and vulva, but for general discussion we use "girls parts" (as in "wipe your girl parts"). 

post #25 of 234
You can't just say, "make sure you wipe" or "don't forget to wipe yourself"? You don't necessarily need to name the parts.
post #26 of 234
Originally Posted by newmamalizzy View Post

.  If they're wiping their vulva, shouldn't they also wipe the labia?  Too confusing.  I'm stickin' with crotch.

Vulva is a collective term for the female external genitalia. It includes the labia, minora and majora, and basically everything else you can see on the outside of the body between the pubic bone and the perineum.
post #27 of 234

I call it "girl parts" now to my 21 month old. It'll be years before I feel she needs to know she has a uterus, vagina, labia, etc.

post #28 of 234
I still don't get what the OP means by "heavy." Are we talking about the sound of the word? Or what?
post #29 of 234

I grew up being told to clean between my folds which I think is pretty descriptive and to the point about what you really need to do.  The vulva needs extra cleaning attention because it is composed of folds that need to be cleaned between.  We also have taught DD vagina and labia, but when she's being changed and there is poop that got worked up into the folds, that's what we talk about cleaning - the folds.  

Edited by Brambleberry - 6/16/12 at 7:01pm
post #30 of 234

I think I know what you mean,  My first child is a boy.  I say penis no problem.  Now I have a dd and I cringe (inwardly mind you)  every time I use the word vulva.  I don't know why.  There is no shame involved I just hate the word vulva, and the word vagina for that matter.  I just hate the way they sound.  Now if I was to call it her "pee pee", well that's just fine, doesn't make my cringe, and it's what we called it when I was growing up.  But I want to use the right word, so I just do it.  Vulva it is. 

post #31 of 234

dh calls it a "giney"  most people i know say vulva or vagina. 

post #32 of 234

I think you just have too many factors going on - you want it to be cuter than "vulva," but not too cutesy or obtuse because you want it to also be clear to others...it's really complicated. I'm with others who say that the word isn't "heavy" - it's really not, it's what you are adding to the word.  It's fairly easy to say.  It just isn't as culturally common as "penis" (and while you may not personally be ashamed of anatomy, I do believe there are societal forces at work here leading to the discomfort...) - but it is a fair and proper equivalent.


The best alternatives I can think of are what some PPs mentioned - girl parts or private parts/privates (again, I don't think this is shaming - more like private like a diary - personal, not for general public viewing, haha). thumb.gif

post #33 of 234

I would also suggest crotch, but it is not a gentle sounding word.  in my family, both males and females have crotches - the space between your legs.    We use a wide variety of words, including vagina, penis, butt, butthole, anus, and I am trying to become comfortable saying vulva.  My four year old know the baby is growing in my uterus, just like he knows his heart pumps blood and his food first lands in his stomach, the bladder stores urine or pee, etc...

post #34 of 234

You could call it a






Front bottom/ Front Butt






Tutu and it's cousin TiTi

Pee Pee




Uh, so pretty much whatever you want to call it.  However the Vulva and the Vagina are not dirty words.  They are not disgusting and they are nothing to be ashamed about.  Unless you feel shame? 

post #35 of 234
Thread Starter 

I think I will use labia and folds for now. Vulva and Vagina when she grows older. Stomach for now .. uterus for later.


And the posters who are insisting that there may be a freudian shame involved in my not liking the sound of the word vagina- please take it at its face value when I say there isn't. Asking me in various ways and hints doesn't help - let's not play shrink with me please.


And please don't suggest all cutesie words and then try and ridicule me. I am NOT looking for a cutesie word.


And the posters who said they understood that it isn't a gentle or easy flowing word - thank you!!  And the poster who writes that crotch doesn't 'sound' gentle either - I agree. Looks like some of us understand what 'gentle sounds' are ..and some of us don't see eye-to-eye with me on that.


No problem. Let's leave it at that. 


I think I have found my answers... thank you all for your input.

post #36 of 234
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post


Oh.. I meant as opposed to the P-word. One of my friends uses it and I don't like it (Pu$$y)


To summarize.. was looking for a clean, healthy but kid-friendly version that 'rolls of the tongue' easily (is what I mean by not heavy)

I can't imagine using that word with my child...just seems weird. I definitely think of it as slang, or as being sexual.


My baby girl isn't here yet, but I plan to use vulva. I know what you mean about vagina and vulva both being a little "heavy". For me partially, though, I think the reason is because my parents ONLY used the "cutesy" words...I literally did not know the word vagina and what it meant until I was 10-11. Even later for vulva. So I want my daughter to be very comfortable with the words from an early age, and then maybe also know some cutesy ones but not be misled at all about what the actual word is. I work at a grooming shop...when we're talking to each other, we'll use words like "hoo hoo" or "weiner", but when it's time to tell the owner about the "redness on her hoo hoo", we say vulva or vagina (penis for a boy, obviously)...so I think there's a time and a place for everything.

post #37 of 234
So we call DD's backside her "bum" or "bum bum". I like the idea of using "crotch", just wish it sounded a bit more fun lol. While I agree that vulva is the anatomically correct term, I don't think she will be hurt by holding off on that for a while. We have been saying "girly bits" since birth (it just happened) and for me it's good enough for now: they are the bits only girls have. Fwiw my mom and I are not native English speakers so if she was watching DD and heard of an owie on the vulva, she'd be scratching her head or googling it lol. If/when I get pregnant the second time, I plan on saying that baby is in mommy's belly/tummy. Stomach to me is an organ of digestion while belly or tummy are the general abdominal area.
We don't bat an eye when a toddler calls her grandmother Nana or Grammie but somehow it's a problem for private parts. I plan on explaining the proper anatomical terms when she asks where babies come from. For the time being I can handle not having to hear "I fell and hurt my vulva" at the playground :-)
post #38 of 234

I'm a big believer in teaching correct anatomical terms (although I only have boys and somehow penis and testicles are easier for me) but for a situation like you're describing, i/e washing in the tub or wiping in the bathroom I usually say crotch. Because I do *actually* mean, wash the entire area. If they are asking questions or we're talking about something specific (if you're going to play with your penis, please go somewhere private or it is not okay to touch your brother's penis) we use the correct terms for the specific part we're discussing.

post #39 of 234
Are there other words you avoid teaching your child because you think they're too . . .heavy? This thread is confusing me.
post #40 of 234

We say vulva.  It's important that children know the correct terminology.  I also say 'bits' or 'parts' because they are asexual terms and I do home daycare so I use it with any child. 


I'm really confused by what you mean by 'heavy'.  If it isn't shame, do you somehow feel that your DD isn't able to understand it?


The same with uterus - there are age appropriate ways to understand.  I told my DS that the baby was in a special balloon inside me called a uterus.  It wasn't hard for him to understand.

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