I can't comment on the subject of tongue tie, because my dd didn't have that issue, but...
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Originally Posted by
Jessimaca 
I'm afraid we are never going to get this. And I'm scared at 8 weeks we are at the point of no return. It just makes me feel so discouraged and depressed :-(
You are NOT at the point of return, if my experience is any indication. My daughter did not figure out how to latch on until she was three months old, and after that, she went on to be a very strong nurser until the age of three years old. I understand the stress that you are feeling with that one worry because I felt it. I was very lucky. I had an extremely experienced lactation consultant, and one day, I asked her point blank if there was a point of no return by which if my dd didn't figure out how to nurse, she would never nurse at all. The lactation consultant reassured me that this is not true. And, it turns out that she was right. Just knowing that little fact lifted a huge weight from my shoulders and gave me the strength to do what I had to do.
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Originally Posted by
Jessimaca Any input, tips, encouragement, any help at all really would be greatly appreciated...
Here is a short synopsis of our story-- My DD was born almost 8 weeks ago and has never latched. It was a natural birth with no problems (though it was precipitous). This is my first baby. The first night she didn't really latch, but I didn't think much of it. I knew I would just keep working on it. But, the next morning her billi level was abnormally high and they were thinking of admitting her. So, I started pumping and finger feeding to avoid this. We did this for a week and I kept trying to latch her with no success. I then saw a lactation consultant who suggested a nipple shield. We did this for 2 weeks and then something changed-- she was getting upset and frantic-- I knew she wasn't transfering well or my supply was going down and I was right. She didn't gain enough so then we went back to pumping and feeding (I am now using mostly bottles). Pumping and feeding is so difficult. It takes almost every minute of my day. And more importantly I really, really want to nurse! This is like my worst nightmare. I've always wanted to nurse. I'm even a lactation counselor and have helped many other moms with their babies. Please, any advice would be so appreciated. I've tried just about everything anyone has ever suggested-- nursing while sleepy, in the bath, while moving, after pumping, while expressing, while she is full and content, hungary and upset, etc. Is there something that I'm missing? Some other tip? I'm afraid we are never going to get this. And I'm scared at 8 weeks we are at the point of no return. It just makes me feel so discouraged and depressed :-(
I was there once.
My dd didn't latch when she was born, so the nurse taught me to try to finger feed her. The next morning her billi level was still high, and the hospital admitted her into the NICU for ten days. All during the NICU stay, I tried to latch with the SNS and nipple shield. Nothing. Baby wouldn't even open her mouth, let alone drop her tongue. We finally went home from the NICU by feeding formula with the Haberman feeder to try to avoid nipple confusion. (Milk still hadn't come in because- what- baby hadn't latched on at all.) I pumped and fed with the Haberman feeder for three months. After we got home from the hospital, it took me two weeks of round-the-clock pumping to build up my supply by pumping, because dd didn't do a thing to help.
Yes, it was an awful nightmare to pump and feed exclusively. Unfortunately, I had to do it for three months. I felt like I was in a merry-go-round from which I couldn't disembark- the unending cycle of pump/feed/diaper. Oh yes, and on top of that I tried latching on with the SNS and nipple shield. All the things that you've tried, I tried. It was especially exhausting trying to keep the SNS and nipple shield clean after each feeding. No sign of latching on for three months.
I got so exhausted from sleep deprivation of trying to latch every feeding with all of that equipment that I called the lactation consultant in desperation. I asked her if my chances of success would diminish if I just fed the baby with the Haberman feeder and skipped trying to latch on (with SNS and nipple shield) for an indefinite period of time so that I could get some sleep. She said it would be fine as long as I could prevent the nipple confusion. So I would take a break and not even try to latch on for a couple weeks, just pumping and feeding. Even after that, I didn't try to latch on at every feeding. I would just try every once in a while, just for the heck of it, every few days or so, to see what would happen. Nothing.
Then, one magical day, the baby latched on and started sucking. Yes, it was with the SNS and the nipple shield, but it was clear that the baby started to suck. After a couple days, I removed the nipple shield. Then I removed the SNS. Within a week, everything was fine.
Part of the problem was that the baby was incredibly sleepy all the time when we got home as a result of the jaundice, but that couldn't have been the only reason. To this day, I'm not really sure what happened. All I know is that I kept trying, and one day, she started nursing.
HANG IN THERE! It will work out in the end! And let's hope that your son figures it out far sooner than my dd did.
On the bright side, I never had to wean dd from a pacifier because dd never used one. I was so worried about avoiding nipple confusion that I used my pinky finger, instead of a pacifier. By the time my dd learned to latch on, it seemed pointless to introduce a pacifier.
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