guilty for working

[redwolf]

hello all!
I have a 7 mo. dd. i was never planning to work until my husband got laid off. I am verytorn. Does anyone feel this way? The guilt is so burdening.
will this interfere with any attachment parenting practices or hurt my dd in any way. I just need some words of advice and comfort. tTo everyone else it isn't a big deal and don't understand my point of view. My dh has her during the day but she is noticably distraught with me not around.
HELP!!!!
Thanks for any words

[kofduke]

It's so hard. I tooka 6-month maternity leave and worried every day how it would be when I got back. I didn't absolutely HAVE to go to work - I mean we wouldn't starve - but it makes a big, big financial difference to our family, and it's important to me to be able to do things like save for college, etc.

Fast-forward 8 months - and I can't believe how well it's been going. I work 4 days per week, and am usually gone 10 hours/day. DS loves his day-care providers. I pumped b/m for him until he was 1 year, and he still nurses 2x/day. He still co-sleeps with us on occasion. He loves to be worn. He's the loviest, sweetest, smartest boy I've ever seen in my whole life

It will be hard, there is no way I can minimize it. But, you absolutely can still be attached and work! Come here for support whenever you need it!

[heket]

You're not alone!

I didn't look forward to coming back to work full time and got very lucky when I scored a part time position. So I work 4 days a week. While 3 of them are 6 hour days, I have an hour communte each way, so it feels like an 8 hour day...

BUT, there are days when for the sake of my personal sanity I'm happy to have come back. I'm able to see more than my little house and neighborhood park, and my self-confidence is stronger knowing that I'm also helping with our financial burdens. I'll admit, there's days when I miss dd immensely and can't wait to go home. So I just plug along as best as I can. We need my income, and there's no option for me to be a SAHM. However, I am in the process of trying to boost some additional income through home business ventures so I can eventually WAHM.

My working hasn't affected my bond with dd. When I'm home, I devote as much time as possible to dd -- we play, watch the Wiggles (sort of, she's 8 1/2 months and likes the songs), go on walks, do errands, etc. But we're together and that's what counts. Dh watches her when he gets home from work on days where we overlap, so she also gets bonding time with him which is really nice.

It's not easy, but it's doable and I don't think working is going to have a lasting effect on your bond. You may hit some hard times with the inital transition, but change is hard! Just know that over time it will get easier and maybe going back won't be as scary as it seems! And you can always come here for support.

Let us know how it goes!