Check In? And What has been your biggest challenge(s) of being an older Mom? « Back to Group Discussions

[Lenore K.]

I am wondering if anyone else is having the same problem I am. I am not receiving any notifications from Mothering. Is it because the groups I am in are moving along so slowly? or something else? I have checked all the notifications in my options.

Just asking you to sort of "check in" so I can see if I will receive any notifications from this group.

What has been your biggest challenges(s) of being an older Mom? Was it announcing your pregnancy? Family support? Friend support? Medical field support? Your health? Staying at home/working? Any others?

[Daffodil]

I'm getting notifications for threads I'm subscribed to.  I'm not sure how groups are supposed to work, but it seems like you don't get a notification if someone starts a new thread in a group you belong to - you just get a notification if someone posts to one of your subscribed threads in that group.  But maybe you can also subscribe to a group the way you can subscribe (I think) to a forum?

I honestly can't think of any big challenges I've faced because of being an older mom.  My family was fine with it, and the doctors and midwives I dealt with didn't seem to think it was any big deal.  My health is good.  It's all been working out just fine.

[mamarhu]

It just occurs to me that "Older Mama" has 2 meanings. One would be that we waited till later to become parents; the other is that we have been doing this parenting thing a long time - now even the children are older!

I fit both catagories - I was 40 when YoungSon was born, he's 16 now, but I also have grandchildren (ElderSon is 30) and some days I feel quite elderly myself. I didn't really experience any particular age-related challenges regarding his pregnancy or birth. I did have several miscarriages after him, and I took that as my body's way of saying, "No more". When I was out with my babies, I was more than once asked about my "grandchildren"!

[Lenore K.]

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

I'm getting notifications for threads I'm subscribed to.  I'm not sure how groups are supposed to work, but it seems like you don't get a notification if someone starts a new thread in a group you belong to - you just get a notification if someone posts to one of your subscribed threads in that group.  But maybe you can also subscribe to a group the way you can subscribe (I think) to a forum?

I honestly can't think of any big challenges I've faced because of being an older mom.  My family was fine with it, and the doctors and midwives I dealt with didn't seem to think it was any big deal.  My health is good.  It's all been working out just fine.

I am subscribed to this one and I am still not being notified. I checked to be notified daily. I have received nothing from any of the groups. Hmmmm....

That is great that you have not had any challenges as an older Mom.

I do find that I get tired more easily. I could do with less sleep most of the time, but as I get older I feel it more, I guess. My family was fine with it also. I had a very supportive doctor. Other than a few more ultra sounds (and that was because of the fibroids) I didn't need any tests. My doc was ok with opting out.

Being around younger Moms was a bit of a challenge. Once they realized I had kids as old or older than them, they weren't quite as friendly. That is in the area we moved from. Here in a smaller town - fancy that - everything is just plain ok. Age doesn't really matter at all. This is a much more supportive community.

I also homeschool my child and that had caused some reactions in people where we used to live. Here there are more homeschoolers and not just for religious reasons.

[Lenore K.]

Originally Posted by mamarhu 

It just occurs to me that "Older Mama" has 2 meanings. One would be that we waited till later to become parents; the other is that we have been doing this parenting thing a long time - now even the children are older!

I fit both catagories - I was 40 when YoungSon was born, he's 16 now, but I also have grandchildren (ElderSon is 30) and some days I feel quite elderly myself. I didn't really experience any particular age-related challenges regarding his pregnancy or birth. I did have several miscarriages after him, and I took that as my body's way of saying, "No more". When I was out with my babies, I was more than once asked about my "grandchildren"!

My oldest son and his wife have given me two granddaughters. My daughter is 8 yrs. They are 4 yrs and 1 1/2 yrs. I had taken my older granddaughter to the park last year and people just assumed she was mine! Until she calls me gramma! I was 45 when Anna was born. People have not thought that I was not her mom. I take that as a compliment as I don't think I look younger, but I really do feel older some days!

We did have a miscarraige before and after Anna. We did not want to go through that again and decided to stop. Getting pregnant was never an issue! 

I am really surprised how many "older Moms" there are and "older Moms doing it again!"

[motherhendoula]

I am an 'older Mom doing it again"  my kids are 17, 14 and soon to be 2.  Last week, my 17 yr old DD took the baby to the playground - and heard another couple on the playground start talking about how terrible it would be to be a teen parent and what an awful 'epidemic' it is - then overheard them come to the conclusion that teens are just plain 'sluttier' these days! 

So im not having too many challenges as an older mother - but i guess my teenager is!

[Lenore K.]

Wow! I never looked at it that way. Anna's older sister never said if she heard any comments like that. I'll have to ask her. It's funny how people make assumptions. How was she with that?

[mamarhu]

When BigGirl was 12, and I was about 50, I was getting certified as a foster parent. I need to mention that she was early to develop, and looked 15 or so. We needed to buy all sorts of baby equipment in case an infant was placed with us. Answered a Craigslist ad, and purchased a crib, high chair, etc. The poor seller couldn't figure out which of us was pregnant. And I confess, we didn't enlighten her. To this day, we laugh about that.

[Daffodil]

Now I'm not getting email notifications. Are you still having that problem, Lenore? I started a thread asking about it in Questions and Suggestions, and Cynthia Mosher asked if anyone else was having the same problem, but no one has replied so far.  If you're still not getting them, maybe you could post to that thread and let her know it's not just me.

This is the thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357636/not-getting-email-notifications

[Lenore K.]

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

Now I'm not getting email notifications. Are you still having that problem, Lenore? I started a thread asking about it in Questions and Suggestions, and Cynthia Mosher asked if anyone else was having the same problem, but no one has replied so far.  If you're still not getting them, maybe you could post to that thread and let her know it's not just me.

This is the thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357636/not-getting-email-notifications

Thanks for the tip! I did respond to it.

[motherhendoula]

My daughter was a little ruffled by the 'slut' comments yes....its funny because i was also in her shoes as a big sister - i have a brother who is 15 years younger than me and one born 16 yrs and 11 months  - to the day- after me.  So when i had them around, no one ever assumed they were mine ...or if they did, they asked me questions like 'how long have you been married?' 

I drove my Moms car everywhere - with the two car seats in the back - and i got comments like that from time to time "Are you married? why do you need the car seats?"    that was the late 80's  - maybe we were more polite then?