The Holidays! « Back to Group Discussions

[madis81]

With everyone being due in December it's possible that some of us will give birth close to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Winter Solstice, etc.... Have you guys thought about your plans on how you will celebrate and whether you will travel or have company stay for several days?

My family, along with DH's, have already asked about Thanksgiving. We turned them down. We both know that in those last weeks I tend to hibernate and go into seclusion. I just want to spend time with my DH and kids and enjoy those little moments we have together before we get busy with a new little one and REST while I can. We are undecided about Christmas. It's possible I could give birth a week beforehand. I am sure we will stay home - traveling with a brand new baby, no thanks - which means parents will want to visit... not sure about that one. They are baby holders and tend to play tourist (also means they want everyone to go with them) when they visit, not helpers. And I've made it clear to my DH that if anyone shows up they are not here for vacation and there will be a list of chores that will need to be done. Does that make me a jerk?

Anyway, aside from staying home and trying to decide on visitors for Christmas we will likely keep everything the same. My DH taught me to cook and knows his way around the kitchen. And we can continue with our traditions (DH taking the girls to the Nutcracker, hot cocoa and Christmas lights, etc.) and hopefully make some new ones and creating sweet memories for our children.

[purposefuldoula]

No, you are not a jerk for asking for help with chores!! And actually, that is a brilliant idea! I will totally be using that one, as we have chosen not to travel either. I just got back from traveling on Friday, and with only being 14-15 weeks pregnant over the trip, driving was awful! I had to stop to pee more than my littles! There is no way I want to do that while 9/10 months pregnant!  I intentionally took the trip back to see everyone, tell extended family about this pregnancy, and say goodbyes for at least another year or so. We won't be back until at the very least, next summer. (We live about 8 hours away from all of our family.) 

This baby has pushed my mom to move here, which I am so excited for! Hopefully, she will arrive sometime before the end of October. Then, my brother and sister in law will be coming to visit right around when this baby will be born. I'm due on the 3rd, but always go late, so I'm thinking that 3rd week of December will be baby week. They are planning on coming around the 16th o.O They just might be witnessing a birth :)  Then my dad and sister will most likely come for Christmas.  I'm sure DH's family will want to come as well, to meet the new

baby and celebrate the holidays, but I will probably ask them to hold off until January.  

I think I might even skip out on going to church this Christmas. The more I think about it, the less I want to take a newborn to a packed church right in the middle of cold/flu season. We might just do house church at our home with close friends and family. 

Christmas is my FAVORITE time of the year! Other than literally being pregnant all year, I think it's really exciting that we are all due around this time. I know we've mentioned it before, but I can't wait to do a secret santa with all of you. 

This fall will be a huge making fall. Our Christmas is usually about 75% handmade and I have to get a jump early on it! All of the soakers I'm making for this babe will be its Christmas gifts. Babies are so easy to gift give :) Has anyone started making or shopping for holiday gifts yet? I don't think it's too early, given all of our circumstances!! 

[esp831]

Agreed, staying home for all holidays this year.  What a perfect reason not to travel and stay home and get nice and cozy.  It does make one more prone to have to host though, doesn't it?  I love the list of chores idea for guests, it's a great idea.  Not only that, but everyone who enters your house should bring food, help take care of other kids, and pamper you while you sit on the couch and nurse (if the baby has been born of course).  

This may make me a jerk, but I am just not willing to have any overnight visitors either just before or just after the baby comes.  It is a very private time for the family unit as far as I'm concerned.

[cieloazul]

I'm glad you posted this, Mads81. You deserve helpers and not guests after baby arrives no matter what time of year it is. I hope your family can see that showing up for you would be a gift.

This is December baby #2 for us so I think we're going into it with a few lessons learned. Like I really enjoyed having company and working on Christmas projects in those maddening last few weeks before labor. We didn't put up a tree the year DS was born. I was worried that it would be overwhelming. But not having a tree was kind of sad since the tree's one of my favorite parts. So this year I'm going to get it up early while I still can, and then enlist our holiday/after baby visitors to help put all the decorations away. Oh and having Thanksgiving at someone else's house was great.

We live overseas now, so visiting family entails a big trip on someone's part. My parents are coming for what we hope will be several weeks on either side of my EDD, to include Chritstmas and New Years. My sister will likely join us for a shorter time around Christmas. And then a dear friend is coming for a week around New Years. I'm really grateful for everyone's companionship and help, and I expect there may be bit of a letdown after they all depart. DH is planning to take minimal time off when baby arrives / for the holidays, which will allow him to take another block of time off after everyone has left and we are settling in to life as a faimly of four. Oh that makes me smile to write that...4... :-)

[themothership]

We always host Thanksgiving, but my husband does all the cooking, so I don't have to do much other than keep the house clean. As for Christmas (we are due 12/24, went 40+2 with DD) any visiting we have to do is 2-7 miles down the road, so we will still go unless I am in labor or have a new baby. I'd rather go somewhere else than deal with a bunch of people in my space close to my due date.

[lovemyzoo]

I have a dec 28th baby already. We don't live close to anyone. We were o go to my moms(7 hours away) for thanksgiving but not sure now. Otherwise it will be us at home like it typically is anyway.  

[travelmumma]

Good thread Madis- and NO WAY ARE YOU A JERK!!! In fact I am already creating a little door sign that will be hung on our front door that will read something along the lines of.

"Neighbours- we pre warned you about labour noises. Sorry and Go Away.

Friends- Unless the new Mumma has given you her permission to enter in advance, bugger off, or leave vegetarian food and bugger off.

Family- This better have been a pre arranged visit. You know where the cleaning stuff is. You know my fav dishes. Go for it. 

Midwife- GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!!! :) "

HEhehehe.. maybe too straight forward? But really, we can live without "baby holders" for the first few weeks. What we do need is people who put the laundry on, then hold baby while Im in the shower.

I tend to get very emotional, even at the best of times, so I think having a sign is my best option, even if it does seem rude.

Christmas wise? No Idea! We normally travel 2 hours away ish for it, but I think this year we might invite everyone over for a BBQ (summer here) a week before Chrsitmas then just chill in an air-conditioned room on the actual day!

But who knows? This is our first bub, and he has already been fairly ahead of schedule with movements and symptoms, so maybe he will arrive early? 

Due 21st so will have to just wait and see!

Jealous of those of you who will be cosy by a fire this Christmas!!

[TheDivineMrsM]

Mads - That doesn't make you a jerk; it makes you practical and honest. ITA that guests need to be doing something. I wish I made that rule when I had DD. DH's uncles showed up one afternoon, and as I'm falling asleep on the couch, they were asking me to make coffee. Because, you know, I had nothing better to do while attempting to BF a baby and recover from an emergency c-section. 

We're probably going to my parents for Thanksgiving. DD is staying with them when I'm in the hospital, and the hospital my MW is affiliated with is ten minutes from them anyway. I'd rather go there than to have everyone descend on us when I'm vastly pg or home with a brand new baby and a toddler. 

Chanukah is a toss-up. I think it's early this year, but if we go to my parents for Thanksgiving, my ILs are going to make noises about coming to them for Chanukah. Since they're two hours away (without traffic!) I don't think that's happening. I'd prefer to stay home and hibernate as a family. But I'll pick that fight with DH later in the fall. 

[kateadelle]

Both of our families live about 8 hours by car away. We stopped traveling for Christmas several years ago. It was really important to me to have my own family traditions (even though we didn't have kids) rather than continue to participate in my parents traditions. So, I see no reason to stress about traveling this year. I usually host what I call "orphan Christmas" for any friends that are in town for the holidays, but will probably be skipping that this year either way (My EDD is 12/17 so we could have a baby or still be very pregnant).  I am a little worried about having the energy to decorate etc, so I am thinking I will try and get stuff done early or otherwise play it by ear. I am a little sad that the fact that I am probably having this baby right around Christmas most likely means I won't be getting a visit from my mother until sometime in January. Her other grandchildren live near her and she won't want to miss Christmas with them (which I totally understand). Still, since this is my first baby, I was looking forward to the help from my mom. She is disabled and traveling is difficult for her, so even though the flight is less than an hour and pretty cheap, she is unlikely to be making multiple trips (the last time she visited was 3.5 years ago).  All of that said, I love Christmas and am really, really excited to be having a Christmas baby. 

I have never been big into Thanksgiving, so I am happy to let someone else host, though I have no idea who that might be. One of my best friends has traditionally hosted Thanksgiving, but she is pregnant and due just before Thanksgiving, so that will not be happening this year. Maybe we will just go out for Chinese food and a movie and call it a day!

Frankly, my favorite holiday is Halloween and I am really excited about the costume possibilities that will be added by having a big pregnant belly to work with!

[Anyitara]

We've been blessed by a very understanding family and a lot of luck in having members of both sides in town. For Thanksgiving I'm either going to stay home and skip it or host. I don't really want to, but I've done it enough times before that at least it will not be something terribly stressful for us. My ILs are hosting Christmas, which is three houses away from mine. If it's very icy, I'll have DH go shovel and salt the morning of, but otherwise it should be a VERY easy trip. ;) My brother may host my parents for Christmas, but we haven't really set anything yet. My family is VERY flexible, so we might have Christmas on New Year's Eve or something instead depending on what works. Only thing I know is that if baby is here our visit is going to be SHORT. I'll need my rest! I usually decorate a few items at a time starting in late November, so I don't think that will change this year. DH does the Christmas tree with our little man and I'll hang a few ornaments and be around to drink hot cocoa and watch a movie, but I think we'll keep the activities low-key and the decorating we'll play by ear. Lights should be up in October, though, so that'll be easy! :D I don't know if I'll be buying new PJs for this year or not - if I'm huge, they'd only be good for a number of days! ;D

[segolilymama]

Great thread - it's fun to read about everyone's plans, traditions, etc.

Thanksgiving for me is a big deal - my dad's side of the family is Jewish, so it's traditionally when we all get together. I often host, and plan to do so this year - with the added benefit of being able to have ZERO guilt about delegating pretty much everything. Also, a good friend who usually comes is a professional chef - and he's already been told he MUST be here this year!

As for Christmas, my only real plan is to get the shopping & gift making done EARLY! I make PJ's for all the kids every year (that'll be 13 pairs this year, lol - well I only do pants for boys, so not really pairs, but you know...) We have certain traditions that will be easy to keep - solstice candles & the Paul Winter Consort live on NPR; making cookies for the neighbors; and the Christmas lights drive. I don't usually travel or have guests for Christmas. I'm due a week before, and will probably have baby a couple days before that, so the 10 or so days before the big day will be time to rest, enjoy the new baby, and let everyone else get things ready!
 

[Millie Ivy]

I'm due between the 14-18 (depends on who you ask, my ovulation or the sono, and I personally don't  care because I will labor when I'm good and ready, no matter what, so there. ) ;-)

so I think it would be cool to either have babe on 12-12-12 or on the Solstice 12-21-12

I'm sure that by that time, I'd prefer 12/12/12 but a Solstice baby would be really cool!

Actually come to think of it, the hopes for a Solstice birth might make me a tad less impatient those last few days, hopefully. I do the whole prodromal labor for days before birthing and it gets reallllly old really fast!

Holidays- My immediate family is all here, except for my brother, but including my in laws.  So holiday stuff all happens in a 5 mile range.  We will do thanksgiving with both sides of the family.  However after that, I'm hibernating.  literally.  My second child was born 45 minutes after my midwife broke my water, but my 3rd was born 30 minutes after my water broke spontaneously.

I have no desire to labor in a car/yoga/grocery/etc. 

So my mom will be hangin out a lot during those last 2 weeks, but I don't want a ton of other visitors.  A few friends will be welcome.

solstice/christmas/new years with a newborn again will be fine, family is so close.  We don't attend church so no worries about crowds!

[Eandko]

I've been through this once before and learned a few lessons. My son was due Dec 23rd and born on the 19th. I fully expected to still be pregnant at Christmas and therefore going to my IL's was out of the question. They are local, but have cats and my allergies and asthma in my third tri made it impossible to spend more than 15 min in their house. I also knew that being either very pregnant or having a brand new baby would mean I wasn't going to be cooking, so we had Christmas here but everyone else brought the food. It sounded perfect but the problem was I was having a big hormonal crash at 6 days postpartum and J started cluster feeding that evening. My niece and nephew were 4 and 2 and were all overtired, over sugared and overstimulated. I hid upstairs with my baby and cried for quite a while that day. I just wanted everyone to leave.

Anyway, this time around I'm due a week or so earlier which means I'm less likely to be pregnant. We haven't discussed it with anyone, but we won't be offering to host. We'll go where we need to go and that way we can bail as soon as we need to. We won't be seeing any out of town family until much later. Thanksgiving is a non-issue because it's in mid-October here.

[segolilymama]

Millie - I do the prodromal thing too - 3 days before each birth. My biggest fear is that i WON'T do that this time, and I'll say to myself 'oh I have 3.5 days to go....' and give birth on the kitchen floor lol.

I would LOVE a 12/12 or 12/21 baby :)