Well, shit. Since I did more reading on that site about prolapse and symptoms of prolapse I did some more feeling around. I have a prolapse in the front as well- pretty severe, I'd say, but it started happening after my second was born and was pretty gradual and I didn't think anything of it. When I'm upright (like sitting on the toilet) the front wall of my vagina is pushed almost as far as the vaginal opening. If I'm laying down you can't see it at all, but it's quite obvious when I'm upright. Again, it doesn't hurt (if it hurt I would have noticed it as a being a problem sooner!)The rectocele is absolutely nothing in comparison.
Now I'm pissed. Definitely talking to my midwife about it, see if I can get a referral for physical therapy from her or if I'll need to see a doctor. I'm absolutely not doing surgery (especially not after watching that video from the site I linked!). It's weird that I've had at least the cystocele for more than a year at least, but now that I know it's a disorder and abnormal I'm freaked out about and can't stop thinking about it. I kegeled like a madwoman last night (while laying down) until I felt like something was going to cramp up.
Also still haven't told my husband about it. Not sure why. I also am having a lot of trouble picturing myself talking about this to any of my friends who have kids. I've NEVER heard anyone talk about this before- but stitches, bleeding, sex is always talked about. What's with that? And no one ever told me to kegel to avoid prolapse or even mentioned prolapse as a thing that could happen. I was told to kegel by my doctor and midwives with all three pregnancies to avoid "that embarrassing sneeze-pee" but not to keep my organs from falling out of my vagina?!?! If I had known this was a thing that could happen (I somehow thought it could only happen to "old" women, post menopause), known what to watch for, then I could have been doing something about this months and months ago. I have to stop thinking about this, I'm just getting worked up.
So you're supposed to not be active with prolapse? That's gonna be a problem... kind of a non-option, really.