I would never dress my daughter in a bikini, personally. I think its a combination of things. Bikinis aren't inherently practical. They are flimsy, expose too much skin to the sun and could impede fun. Also they fall under the same category as racy underwear in my mind. In that sense they don't align with my values. Because I do personally believe that bikinis are just for attracting attention and that a ten year old shouldn't be mimicking that sort of behaviour. You are going to the beach presumably to have a swim and splash about, not for the opportunity to wear a cute bra like some particular adults. A bikini to me is placing an adult expectation on the way a girl should look, so going to the beach stops being about having a swim and also starts to be about wearing the right sort of thing.
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What age for bikini - Page 6post #101 of 1207/5/12 at 12:36pmpost #102 of 1207/5/12 at 4:47pmQuote:Originally Posted by meemee
i guess what i am discovering Heather is that the bikini irks you, but its the food industry that irks me. because most of america does not cook anymore. they just assemble - which they call cooking. and one day that's going to cost us a great deal. which it already does.
Oh, that irks me, too. I'm finding the older I'm getting, the more grossed out I am by our society as a whole - I think humans can be awesome and many, many are from all walks of life, but the mainstream, popular culture that is presented in the media is so disconnected from a lot of what *made* us human and connected that it makes me sad. Re: clothing, that's just one of many issues I take with women's issues in society. And yes, the disparity has been there for a long, long time, but has not seemed to be as increasingly hypersexualized as it is in recent decades. Also the older I get, the less I want my daughter to have to deal with the BS - she is a little girl with a WIDE range of interests, and I do NOT want that squashed by the culture machine, nor do I want her to think she owes it to society, or anyone to be pretty/attractive. This is a HUGE thing for me, because I will admit I bought into all of it when I was younger....until about the last 10-15 years or so, really - I was raised to think that beyond being smart and capable that it was also important that I look appealing, and while I don't think it necessarily scarred me, I do think it's a crock. My only obligations to society, IMO, are to be a decent, contributing person. Looking as good (or bad) as *I* want to is what matters. How I look has NOTHING to do with my worth or value to society, nor should it bear on how I am treated. But alas, that is not the society we live in, so I find the older I get and the older my daughter gets, the more vocal I am becoming about these particular topics. Beyond that, making sure my son doesn't wind up contributing to the problem and this topic alone feels like a full time job!!
ERM, sorry for the threadjack!!!post #103 of 1207/5/12 at 5:09pmQuote:Bikinis aren't inherently practical.
personally as another poster mentioned I find them extremely practical! I never wear a one piece - they make going potty great-quick and easy!
I over heard a mother today complain how she was throwing away the one piece when they got home because of what a PIA it is to pull up a wet suit on squirmy toddler.post #104 of 1207/5/12 at 7:59pmpost #105 of 1207/5/12 at 8:00pmQuote:Originally Posted by The4OfUs
Oh, that irks me, too. I'm finding the older I'm getting, the more grossed out I am by our society as a whole - I think humans can be awesome and many, many are from all walks of life, but the mainstream, popular culture that is presented in the media is so disconnected from a lot of what *made* us human and connected that it makes me sad.
oh gosh heather. that is my BIGGEST fear now. gosh i am turning into such a CROTCHETY old woman.
but i am really working on not doing that. i am trying to see that society isnt all about grossed out. i am trying to see all the good there is around you know. which means i dont watch fox news but i know that NPR and democracy now and foreign media DOES exist.
the one big thing i dont like about myself is i can become way too pompous with a holier than thou attitude. and i dont want to be that. i dont want to see society as bad. i look back at my mom and i see the same things which today are normal for us - used to irk her so much.
that really isnt true. while yes main society is fooled a lot, but good parts do exist.
its capitalism and deculturization that disgusts me today. we all go how terrible the slave trade was. compared to todays women and children slavery the holocaust and the total americas slave trade was just a drop in the ocean (well maybe a bucket in the ocean). today the amount of people in slavery (mostly women and children) is the biggest than the world has ever seen.
but there is so much more also going on. so much good stuff. like microloans (to me that whole program is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT based totally on trust and morality), people helping people on a one to one basis. that is so rising.
so i am trying to focus on the miracles happening around and not try to focus only on the bad things ya know. i dont want to die a embittered, sad woman.post #106 of 1207/5/12 at 8:00pmpost #107 of 1207/5/12 at 8:08pmQuote:i actually just pull the crotch over to side to use the bathroom, very simple
you clean a butt this way too? or isn't it really cleaned?
please explain how you get a toddler to do this too?
I'm really curious since both of mine held on to the toilet and couldn't not even do this own their own- and certainly would not feel comfortable doing it since is goes against how we normally go-how is this done?
Edited by serenbat - 7/5/12 at 8:23pmpost #108 of 1207/5/12 at 8:29pmpost #109 of 1207/5/12 at 8:44pmpost #110 of 1207/5/12 at 8:49pm
I just had a very comical memory of when I was a teenager and dancing 5 days a week, and being able to pee without taking my bodysuit off by p-u-l-l-i-n-g my tights wayyy down on the sides, then pulling the crotch of the bodysuit over. I can only imagine the pain/mess that would have been involved if my tension/grip broke and it all snapped back on me. God bless lycra/spandex!post #111 of 1207/6/12 at 6:42amQuote:
wow!!! that's amazing. my 9 year old cant do it. in fact when we go camping we carry an yoghurt container for her to pee in.post #112 of 1207/6/12 at 10:26ampost #113 of 1207/6/12 at 2:02pm
I'm in the "it has to be practical" camp for my 9 YO DD. But that changes depending on the occasion, which is why she has lots of suits and they are a mix of styles. IMHO, a "string bikini" is never practical for a child. (And it probably shouldn't be for a grown woman but that's a different set of posts.) But a two piece can be great when she has to wear a swim suit under clothing at camp and she won't be swimming until the afternoon. Otherwise she has to take off everything to go to the restroom -- standing on the floor in bare feet with clothing piled on dirty floor -- yuck! But if she is going to be diving through the waves in the ocean, a one-piece makes more sense because it is more likely to stay on. And a one piece is less likely to get a rash on her tummy from boogie-boarding. Swim shirts come off and on depending on weather, sun, length of time outside etc. But then, we live in So. CA and she wears a swimsuit at least once a day in the summer, so it makes sense for us to have several on hand. If I were limited to one, I would probably choose something between a two piece and a tankini as the most practical "all purpose" suit, with a swim suit/rash guard to go with. And, of course, her preferences count too -- she should feel good about the way she looks and like the clothes she wears.
Choosing any clothing generally means a conversation about practical clothing from all sorts of angles -- does it stay put, will it be in the way, does it fit, does it itch, is it appropriate for the occasion, can I wash it... but also does she like the color, does she like the way it looks, does it make her feel good, is she comfortable with the message it sends... Doesn't really matter if its a fancy party dress or a swim suit.
post #114 of 1207/6/12 at 4:45pmQuote:
Wait, you mean she won't pee outside? I think that is pretty normal, but we live on a farm and are often pretty far away from the house (meaning, a toilet), so DD has been peeing outside for a while now. Most little kids arent in situations where they pee outside very often.post #115 of 1207/6/12 at 5:56pmpost #116 of 1207/7/12 at 5:35ampost #117 of 1207/7/12 at 6:45amQuote:
Yeah, there is no way my 6yr old would do it. She has a very set idea of right and wrong, and usuing public bathrooms and porta potties is challenging enough for her already!post #118 of 1207/10/12 at 9:51pm
Two-piece, yes, bikini, no. By two-piece I mean a tankini (NOT a halter top style bikini) or a shirt with bottoms. In the US, many chain stores routinely carry the shirt/bottom style for girls now, even in toddlers. I don't wear a one-piece myself, but I was not allowed to have a halter style bikini until 10 or 11 & I see no problem w/ that whatsoever. I prefer some modesty for my girls and I do not see how a bikini of any kind is remotely modest.post #119 of 1207/12/12 at 10:17am
I guess my question for you would be is there anytime when you feel that a bikini would be inappropriate? Like if she gets boobs in 5th grade, are you going to want her to wear a 1-piece because the 2 piece makes her look to old? If so, then I would say no. My mom let me wear 2 pieces when I was little. Then when I started to develop, she freaked and wanted me back in one pieces. I really thought she was ashamed of my body.
I do not have a problem with 2 pieces, but my kids do not swim without a parent, so I do not worry about people looking at them. We live in the south, so we usually do swim shirts (even my son), to minimize the sun exposure. DD has a 2 piece with a swim shirt top. I wear a tankini.post #120 of 1207/12/12 at 2:10pmQuote:Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama
Wait, you mean she won't pee outside? I think that is pretty normal, but we live on a farm and are often pretty far away from the house (meaning, a toilet), so DD has been peeing outside for a while now. Most little kids arent in situations where they pee outside very often.
no she will pee outside but she hasnt perfected the squat method without getting her pants wet. so she pees in a cup and then waters the plants with it.
instead of using a feminine urinary director http://www.rei.com/product/407267/sani-fem-freshette-feminine-urinary-director we use a yoghurt container.
she is little miss perfection. one drop on her and she has to change.
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